Elena Undone (30 page)

“I don’t know.” Diana looked at her strangely. “Is it?”

At that moment Millie walked by with several of her minions. Diana motioned for Elena to follow her. They poured themselves coffee, went down the hall, out of the church, and then headed to a table under a tree not far from the parking lot.

Elena and Diana sat not speaking for quite some moments. Elena felt stiff, totally unnatural and she had never been uncomfortable with Diana before now.

“I haven’t seen you and I...I feel like you’re keeping something from me.” Diana played with the Styrofoam on her cup.

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Oh, Diana, I’ve just been really busy lately.”

“Elena, you’ve always been one of the busiest people I know. But something is going on. I can feel it.”

Elena’s jaw tightened.

“Look, I’m constantly badgering you with all my problems, complaining endlessly about Rich, and not being a very gracious friend,” Diana continued. “Heck—you know you can trust me, don’t you?”

Elena studied the woman before her for a long moment, glanced back at the church, uncertain.

“Elena, it’s me. We’ve known each other since Barry started here…what, over ten years now. Whatever it is, I am your friend and we’ll get through it.”

Diana put a hand over Elena’s, smiled at her with conviction and encouragement.

“Okay. Diana...I’ve—I’ve—” Elena suddenly realized this was not at all easy to share, but she wanted to hear herself say it to someone other than Tyler. “I’ve fallen in love.”

Diana almost fell from the bench, toppling the remainder of her coffee.

“
Whaaat?
” she screamed, tossing the cup on the ground. To hell with the spilled coffee.

Elena nodded sadly.

“Oh my gosh —I knew there was something wrong between you and Barry.” Elena could see Diana trying to put together all the pieces. “You’ve seemed so distant with one another and I know you’ve got your problems like Rich and I. But, Elena, you’ve been married for
fifteen
years. You’ve got the most wonderful son. You’re so well regarded in our community. You can’t let a crush on—”

Diana stopped. Looked straight at Elena, shaking her head. “It’s not Phil...no, it wouldn’t be someone at the church. Who is he? Where’dya meet him? Is he married?”

Elena shook her head furiously.

“No...no. It’s none of the above.”

“So he’s not from the church. Is it another town? Did you meet him while you were on your trip?”

“I...it’s not like that.”

“Oh, this is serious, isn’t it?” Diana said, clearly eager to hear more. “It’s okay, Elena. You’ve got to tell someone. It’s not good to keep it bottled up inside. And I suppose he’s taking advantage of the situation. No wait. Is he married too?”’

“No...it’s—”

“Oh, well at least that’s a silver lining. What does he do? Where is he from? How diakifrom? Hd you meet him?”

“It...it’s not a man.”

Diana simply could not register what her friend was saying.

“I’ve fallen in love with a...woman.”

Diana’s face turned crimson. She began fanning herself with her hand, shaking her head, then stopped, glanced at her friend as if to see if she was pulling her leg.

“No…Elena, no.” Diana kept shaking her head. “You must be mistaken…”

The mistake was in telling Diana. Elena knew immediately she had made a huge error in judgment.

“Oh, Elena...I am so...sorry.” Diana’s voice descended from surprised to calm and pragmatic. “No, no no...you cannot do this. You cannot do this to your marriage.”

Elena wilted as Diana’s voice got stronger and her countenance more certain—virtually becoming a new woman, the woman Elena wished Diana could be with her husband when he hounded her endlessly for more children.

“It’s against everything we believe in.” Diana stopped, smiled sympathetically. “Look, Elena I don’t mean to sound pedantic, and I’m not crazy like Millie—you know that. I have an uncle who is gay, but this...this, Elena, is wrong. Dead wrong. This isn’t you. Your life. Your world will not fit into their world. Not to mention, you owe Barry, your marriage and your family the benefit of not acting out on what most certainly must be a...crisis in faith. You must learn from it. Don’t make it any worse.”

“Diana, it is not that simple.”

“No, what you mean is that it’s not easy. But it is very simple. What you are doing is wrong. A sin and you know it.”

“But I lo—”

“Stop it!” Diana’s voice was more stern than Elena had ever heard it. “Elena. You’re not seventeen. You do have control over your actions. And you’re certainly old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. Whatever has happened is over. I’ll help you. I’ll be there every step of the way. But you must stop it now. Right away.”

*

Elena came up from behind Peyton who was working, having let herself in. She put her hands over Peyton’s shoulder, down to her breasts, let them linger there, and began to kiss Peyton’s neck.

Peyton turned, pushed Elena from her.

“I’m only here for a few moments…I only have time to kiss you.” Elena took Peyton’s face in her hands.

Peyton stood then="bn stood, grabbed Elena to her, began to kiss her deeply, assertively.

Elena tried to catch her breath as Peyton’s aggressiveness was as seductive as it was frustrating. “I’ve got to go…”

“Where you headed?”

But before Elena could answer, Peyton pushed her up against the wall, pinning her, and began to kiss her, even more aggressively.

“Peyton, I don’t have time—”

But Peyton didn’t hear, or if she did, didn’t care, grabbing Elena by her wrist, yanking her down on the couch, and toppling above her, her knee thrust between Elena’s legs, her hands pinning her down.

Peyton wrestled Elena and kissed her even more demandingly. It was the only time Elena had ever felt resistant, and holding back did not last long because as Peyton continued to overpower her, every fiber in Elena’s being answered back, even when she did not care for Peyton’s aggression, she could not deny how much she wanted her and wanted Peyton to take her, Peyton’s manipulation finally overwhelmed her. Between Peyton’s mouth on her and Peyton’s fingers inside her, Elena felt herself beginning to come, and nothing was going to stop it.

She screamed Peyton’s name, Peyton fucked her a moment longer and then breathless, withdrew, fell to the side of her. They both lay there momentarily looking at the ceiling.

“Was that for me...or for you?”

“I don’t want him to...touch you.”

“So was that your way of marking your territory?”

Elena began to rearrange her clothing, adjusted her hair and began to get up.

“Well, it is your anniversary tonight, isn’t it?”

*

“So that’s how you attempt to put a rein on your feelin’s?” Wave asked, half soused. “By fuckin’ the lady like a bloody hound dog?”

Peyton too was getting soused, flanked by Emily and Wave, the three of them drinking lemon drop shots for hours at a local bar in Silverlake.

“I…I was just trying to see if there was anything that would help.”

“Well, that, my love, kind of sounded like bungee jumping without a bungee. Like holding back the Red Sea, like—what was I sayin’…” Wave meandered off in the middle of her sentence.

“...and how in the hell do I know if they’re not fucking right this minute? I mean really, how could they not on their anniversary? It’s like…FUCK!” Peyton moaned mk tton moaore than shouted, having felt the inevitability of this night for so long now.

“You are soooo shit-faced, my dear friend,” Wave replied.

“Yes, Wave, I am. It’s the only way I can get through tonight.”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t jump to—”

“This isn’t a conclusion…it’s a denouement…” Peyton was going somewhere with her literary logic, but she was damned if she knew where.

“I hate to say it, Peyton, but I’m not at all certain that you have the right to be jealous,” Emily countered.

“Jealousy will not be inhibited by rights...trust me on this one,” Wave pointed out.

“I really thought I could do this,” Peyton sighed. “You know, just make it about awesome unforgettable sex. I can do my life, my work, find a baby and she could do hers. Meet in the middle because I know she’s never going to leave him...”

“Well, as a matter of fact, you don’t know that,” Emily countered.

“Oh, don’t feed her any more rubbish, Em,” Wave snapped. “Why should she leave ’im? She’s got her entire life wrapped up in her kid, her pastor husband, their church...not to mention the big enchilada for all women hitting midlife—security. It’s one thing for a straight woman to have a wild fling during a midlife crisis and quite another for her to trash her world to enter the insane universe of lesbiana-ville.”

“That’s just it. She’s not a lesbian...she’s nothing like a lesbian,” Peyton declared.

“Well...you do live in entirely different universes. Not to mention you’re both doing to her husband what Margaret did to you.”

Emily’s remark sobered Peyton up. “Oh...thanks for making me feel so much better.”

“Well, honestly, Peyton.” Emily shook her head. “Don’t you think this has gone on long enough?”

“Well,” Peyton mused, “apparently so, because this is clearly the part where I get destroyed. There’s not much more to go to from here.”

“Maybe she was brought into your life for you to remember your priorities,” Emily suggested. “You know. Like writing, getting your assignments in on time. Realizing what a brilliant agent you have who you don’t want to lose because you’re acting like a teenager.”

“Personally, I think you’re both going to go down in flames.” Wave belched.

“Thank you for the fatalism.”

“Hear, hear.” Emily raised her glass. “I’m albla “Il for telling it like it is.”

“Oh…so that’s how I sound being such a damn downer, do I?” Wave glanced from Emily to Peyton. “Okay, let me put my kinder, gentler hat on. Let’s say we stop lookin’ at it in terms of black and white. You know, where chicks like us live so we can deal with all our endless insecurities. If I were to shed my cynicism—which is no small feat—I suppose there is an infinite array of possible outcomes here. Maybe the secret is to be really smart about the way you approach this—don’t fall into the old clichéd traps—and just maybe you can land somewhere in the middle of the rainbow. Well, metaphorically speaking.”

“That was quite literary.”

“It was a thing of beauty,” Emily concurred. “Maybe you’re the one that needs an agent.”

“Well, they don’t call me summa cum barrista for nothing!”

*

That night, Barry walked in to see that Nash had fallen asleep against Tori’s shoulder as Tori eagerly watched the end of a movie.

“I just want to know why there are so many wretched romantic comedies? I mean, even when they have great actors, they all seem so ridiculous. And you always know how it’s going to end up. You always know the guy’s going to get the girl, or the girl’s going to get the guy—or whatever variation, but you all know how it’s going to end, so why in the heck do we bother sitting through it—even though that’s not how it ends in real life. The guy doesn’t suddenly get that he’s been a rude overbearing jerk and turn into a sensitive guy who can cry, and the bitchy shallow girl was bred that way, and we all will still kowtow to her, so she’s not suddenly going to become less aloof and approachable…and the worst part is that Hollywood knows they can make a bundle because we’ll watch these stupid movies and pay good money to do so, so on and on it goes.”

“Are you finished?” Barry was irritated as he leafed through the mail.

“Yeah…pretty much.”

“Where the hell is Elena? Working on her ‘project’ again? Out with that…that…that woman?”

Nash’s head popped up, startled.

Barry glanced at the two of them, disgusted. “You both should be in bed. Tori, I’m too tired to drive you home…you do have a home, don’t you?”

“Yes, Poppa Bear, I do indeed,” she replied, small and hurt. She got up and exited with what flair she could but it was not very successful.

Nash, pissed, got up, straightened his sweatshirt and began to head out of the room.

“Get your butt back in that chair, Nash,” Barry demanded.

Nash hesitated a moment, then realized his father meant business.

“Your school counselor called me today. Said you skipped the afternoon altogether. And when you did show up you were smoking a cigarette. You’re an athlete. Why would you do something so foul, so stupid?”

“It’s my body not yours!” he shouted annoyed, then mumbled, “And all I did was try it.”

“You’re too smart for peer pressure, Nash.”

“Oh, that’s sweet. Peer pressure, from the man who spews whatever crap shoved under his nose for a bunch of people who don’t know how to think for themselves!”

Barry walked right up to his son. “You will not talk to me this way.”