Edge of the Past (28 page)

No, not this. I can’t do this
anymore.

I drew in a deep breath and rubbed my forehead. “It doesn’t matter. You and I aren’t possible.“

“Please be honest with me.”

The time bomb inside me threatened to explode once more, and I gripped the knotted wood railing. Sergei wasn’t going to relent, but if I told him the truth, it would just get emotionally torturous between us again.

“I don’t know why you want to dwell on this–“

“Because I need to know,” he said with urgency. “I need to know how you really feel.”

His desperation pained me, tearing away at my resistance. I bit my lip but couldn’t hold back any longer. “No, I don’t believe it!”

Sergei exhaled and closed his eyes. When he opened them, they glistened with tears. I immediately wanted to take back what I’d said. It would’ve been better if he thought I still had doubts.

“I do believe you should be with Liza, so I know this is the right thing,” I scrambled to say. “And now that you’re moving to New York–“

“What? Why would you think that?”

It’s not true?
A tiny drop of optimism seeped through the dark fog. “Someone on the internet said you were touring the rink there.”

“I wanted to see where Liza will be training, and I asked about teaching a few camps, but I’m not moving there.”

“I thought you wanted Liza to come to the Cape so you’d be close to her?”

“I did, but…” Sergei said in a rush and then slowed himself down. “Elena and I had a long talk, and we agreed this shouldn’t be about what I want or what she wants. It has to be about what’s best for Liza, and she belongs in New York. She loves her school there and her coach, and it’s the place she truly feels at home.”

“That’s great. She must be over the moon,” I said, trying to sound as upbeat as I could.

“Liza will only be a few hours away, so she can easily come up here to visit.” Sergei kept his eyes on mine as he inched closer. “And we can go see her any time.”

My heart jumped at the small yet very important word he’d uttered. “We?”

He further narrowed the space between us. His body heat and the scent of his woody cologne circled around me, creating an enticing cloud. I wanted to lean into him, to bury myself in his arms, but I had to be sure I’d heard him right.

“Elena realized she’s been holding on too tight to Liza, just like her father did with her,” Sergei said. “She doesn’t want to cause the kind of pain he did. She doesn’t want to keep us apart any longer.”

“So we… we can be together… and see Liza, too?”

He cupped his hands under my chin and brushed my face with light caresses. “If you’ll still have me.”

I stared at him, holding my breath, afraid I was experiencing an impossible dream. I put my hands on top of his. They were so strong and warm. This had to be real.

“Yes!” I cried. “I want you. I want Liza. I want all of it forever.”

Sergei grinned and touched his lips to mine, and his tender passion sent my frayed emotions over the edge. I wept into his mouth, my salty tears mixing with the sweetness of his kiss.

Sergei enveloped me in his arms and showered me with more kisses on my forehead, my cheeks, and my hair. I smiled and rested my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat pound against my ear. Ten minutes earlier I’d been lost in despair, unable to see beyond the moment, and now I was overflowing with hope for the future.

“I have something of yours,” Sergei said, reaching into his pocket.

He pinched my diamond ring between his fingers and took my left hand in his. “Promise me you’ll never take this off again.”

He slid the ring onto my finger, and the emptiness inside me filled with joy. I felt whole once again.

“I promise,” I said, joining our hands together.

We melted into another kiss, and I hummed quietly as Sergei’s stubble bristled my skin. No dream could feel this good. This was definitely real.

I tilted my head back to look into Sergei’s eyes. Their glow had returned, so bright and alive. I smiled and shook my head. “I still can’t believe this. When I talked to Elena, I didn’t think she’d ever change her mind. And then I thought you were leaving.”

“I was never going to give up on us. I would’ve gotten on my knees and begged Elena if I had to. I couldn’t lose you.” Sergei’s voice rattled.

“I didn’t know what else to do,” I said. “Everything was so screwed up, and I thought I had to walk away from you to make it better.”

Sergei pressed his mouth to my forehead. “Us being apart… it never makes anything better.”

“I tried to picture my life without you, and I couldn’t because everything I wanted in my future was with you.”

“Our future’s going to be a little different from what we planned, but I promise I will always be there for you and I will give you all the love that you deserve.” Sergei lifted my chin and locked his gaze on mine. “I don’t want you to ever doubt how much I love you, how much I want you, how much I need you.”

I blinked back more happy tears. “I love you so much.”

All the anger and sadness weighing me down had disappeared, leaving me so light and free I thought I might fly away. I wound my arms around Sergei’s neck and held onto him. Wrapped in his embrace, I still felt like I was floating among the stars.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

“Are you ready, sweetie?” Dad took my hand.

I had never been more ready for this day. My wedding day. As I stood in the rear of St. Leonard’s Church, I trembled with excitement and a bit of nervousness. I was about to begin a whole new life.

An unbelievably
wonderful life.

I squeezed Dad’s hand. “
So
ready.”

Aubrey carefully swept my hair over my shoulders and lowered my blusher veil, readying me for the big entrance. Meanwhile, Liza scooted around the bridesmaids with her small basket of white rose petals, and she looked up at me with wide eyes.

“There are a lot of people here!”

She was beyond adorable in the dress Louann had hastily made to match the bridesmaids’ seafoam green dresses. I grinned and touched one of her raven curls.

“And they’re all going to agree that you’re the prettiest flower girl in the history of weddings.”

Her cheeks turned pink, and per Aubrey’s command, she returned to the rest of the bridal party. My maid of honor was taking her role very seriously as she organized Marley, Courtney, and my cousins Bri and Bella into a line. The musicians in the choir loft began to play “The Rain” from the movie
Kikujiro
, and Aubrey signaled to Liza to start down the aisle.

One by one the girls departed, soon leaving just Dad and myself. Through the sheer tulle of my veil, I saw Dad’s eyes misting. I took deep breaths and hurried to think of something funny to distract me from getting emotional. One of Chris’s jokes from his best man toast at the rehearsal dinner popped into my head –
I’m gonna be skating with an old married lady now.

The blare of the trumpet cut short my internal laughter, and Dad led me to the edge of the long aisle. I gazed toward the altar where Sergei stood with a smile bigger than any I’d ever seen.

I could barely hold back my emotions. I gripped my bouquet and Dad’s hand tighter as we began our slow march down the white runner. The faces staring at me on either side of the aisle were a blur. All I saw was Sergei in his black suit and silver vest and tie, looking like a vision of the perfect groom.

When we reached Sergei, Dad lifted my veil and kissed my cheek. “I love you, sweetie.”

“I love you, too, Dad,” I squeaked.

He hugged Sergei and joined our hands together. “I know you’ll always take care of her.”

“I will,” Sergei said, not taking his eyes off me.

Dad sat in the front pew with Mom, and Sergei leaned his head down to mine. “I have no words for how beautiful you look.”

I resisted the urge to reach up and kiss him. That had to wait until after the “I do’s.”

“You look pretty hot yourself,” I whispered.

We stepped up to Father Donovan on the altar, and Aubrey fanned out the train of my dress behind me. Father Donovan had baptized me and had been a family friend all my life, so I couldn’t imagine anyone else performing the ceremony. He smiled at Sergei and me, and I awaited one of his usual witty comments.

Clapping his hands, he said, “Let’s get you two kids married!”

****

“I present to you – Mr. and Mrs. Sergei Petrov!”

Upon the DJ’s introduction, the wedding guests broke into applause and a few whistles. Sergei and I walked across the mahogany floor of the State Room and prepared for our first dance as husband and wife. Through the floor-to-ceiling windows, the pink sky of dusk over Boston Harbor provided our backdrop.

Sergei took me into his arms as “When We Dance” filled the large room. We swayed in time to the music, sharing what felt like an intimate moment even with hundreds of pairs of eyes on us.

“I thought the day I met you was the best day of my life,” Sergei said. “But today will be hard to top.”

“And there’s still more amazingness to come later.” I tickled the nape of his neck.

“It’s going to be incredible,” he said, his lips grazing my ear.

My stomach fluttered, and I pulled Sergei closer. It was going to be a long limo ride from Boston to Hyannis after the reception, but I wanted to spend our wedding night in our home. A hotel wasn’t special enough for the long-awaited occasion.

Our song ended, and Sergei and I split up so I could dance with Dad and Sergei could do the same with Anna. On the edge of the dance floor, Mom dabbed at her eyes while watching us. She’d been weepy since I put on my gown at her house. I’d lost count of the number of times she cried, “My little girl!” when I was getting dressed and primped for the ceremony.

When the DJ invited the guests to start dancing, Sergei and I moved into the crowd and were bombarded with well-wishes from family and friends. We circled around the room, collecting congratulatory hugs and kisses, and eventually ended up at the reserved tables by the windows for the bridal party and immediate family.

Finally with a moment to take a breath, I looked around and admired the décor I’d designed with the wedding planner. Every table in the room featured a centerpiece containing blue and white hydrangeas, and small candles surrounding the flowers provided a soft glow. Night had fallen, so the Boston skyline had become a sparkling sea of lights all around us. I couldn’t picture a more romantic setting.

Anna and Max rose from their seats at the main table, and Anna hugged Sergei and me at the same time. “My beautiful new daughter! I know you and Sergei be happy always.”

“I wish you could stay longer to visit,” I said.

“We return at Christmas, and I stay to watch you at national championship.” She stepped back and smoothed my veil. “I want to spend much time with Liza, also.”

Anna and Max had been in the States for a week, and Liza had quickly charmed them. Sergei said he hadn’t ever seen his father so jovial.

Sergei asked Max in Russian, “Will you be able to take off work that long?”

“No, I can come for only a few days, but I’m looking forward to it,” he said with a softness to his gruff voice. “I’d like to have more time with my granddaughter, too.”

“She’s pretty special, isn’t she?” I said.

Max looked at me. “Sergei is very lucky. He has two special people in his life now.”

Max’s rare expression of affection touched my heart and prompted me to throw my arms around him. He felt stiff with surprise at first but then returned my hug. When we parted and Max reached out to Sergei, my emotions soared again. Anna and I exchanged teary smiles as we watched an embrace that had been a long time coming.

Aubrey beckoned me to the dance floor to join my friends, so I took a quick sip of wine, tasted a few hors d’oeuvres, and then sashayed my way toward the group. I spotted Liza nearby, so I grabbed her hands and twirled her into the throng with me. We laughed and bounced around together to the classic party music, and as we left the dance floor I gave her a tight hug. It was hard to believe I’d only known Liza a few months. She felt like family I’d known for years.

“I’m so glad you were part of the wedding,” I said. “It made today even more perfect.”

Liza grinned. “Thank you for asking me to be your flower girl.”

Sergei walked up and slipped his arm around my waist. “There’s my gorgeous wife.”

“I love the sound of that,” I said and gave him a kiss.

“I bet you’ll be kissing a lot on your honeymoon.” Liza giggled.

Sergei and I laughed, and he said, “That’s right. That’s what honeymoons are for.”

We gave each other knowing glances, unable to wipe the huge grins from our faces. We were still looking at each other when Elena broke through the crowd and joined us. Her blue silk dress matched the hydrangeas.

“I do not tell you congratulations yet,” she said with a little smile. “It is beautiful wedding.”

“Thank you,” Sergei and I replied at the same time.

With all the heartache behind us, everyone had been able to have a fresh start. Elena was teaching ballet at Liza’s rink, and she appeared happier every time I saw her. It seemed she was finally making peace with the events of the past.

“Liza, I save food for you at our table if you want to eat,” Elena said.

“Yeah, I’m starving.” Liza turned to me. “We can dance more later?”

“For sure!”

Liza went to follow Elena, but Sergei said, “Wait, I have something for you. I was going to wait until the end of the night, but…”

Reaching inside his jacket, he pulled out a little red satchel. He handed it to Liza, and she opened it to find a silver rose charm.

“I love it!” she said, already unhooking her bracelet. “Thank you!”

“I looked for a tiny basket of flowers but couldn’t find one,” Sergei said. “So, I figured rose petals… a rose…”

“It’s awesome,” Liza said as Elena helped her add the new charm.

When the bracelet was clasped around her wrist again, Liza hugged Sergei’s waist, and he crouched down so he could swallow her in his arms.