Eden (27 page)

My eyes found a lone
figure, sitting hunched against the light of a small fire.  My
feet were moving toward it without my head thinking about
it.

I sat on the log next to
West, close enough my shoulder brushed his as I settled.  He
glanced over at me briefly.  He held a long stick in his
hands, stirring the coals that fell of the larger logs.

“
Tell me about where you
came from West,” I said as my eyes fixed on the flames.
 Something inside of me felt hollow and I craved something to
fill it back in.  “What happened after the infection? 
How did you come into my life after I left yours?”

He stared into the coals
and I could envision the images that flashed before his eyes. 
But what things had he seen that I couldn’t imagine?

“
My father Fell first,” he
said, his voice low and rough.  “It wasn’t any surprise I
guess, working and operating on them like he did.  He Fell in
the second week of the spread.  I was kept in solitary when my
grandfather realized what has happening.  I was locked away in
our apartment by myself for two whole weeks. 

“
A few men broke in
through the locked door,” West said as he shifted positions,
resting his forearms on his knees.  “They were wearing
biohazard suits.  As if that would have stopped the
infection.  They said that my grandfather had been infected
but that he had told them to come and get me and transport me
away.  I grabbed my grandfather’s notebook before I was shoved
out the door.  They took me and a few others to a van and then
we just drove.  For days.”

I tried to bring up the
images that I knew must be in my brain.  Somewhere inside
there must have been a record of this facility, of the scientists
faces, of West’s.  But there was nothing.

“
I slept most of the drive
but I could tell we were a long way from home.  Finally, we
were let out at a camp.  It was very different than this one,”
he said with his jaw suddenly stiff.  “That camp was filled
mostly with military personnel and government officials.  I
was the only teenager there. 

“
Everyone had a duty to
perform.  I suppose like here, but there it was your only
reason for existing.  They all knew who I was, who my family
was.  They never said it but they hated me for it.  I
scrubbed the dishes three times a day till my hands were raw and
bleeding.  For three years.”

The heat of the day
finally gave way to the mercy of the night.  A breeze picked
up, ruffling my tied-back hair.  My eyes ascended to the star
dusted sky, resting on the moon as it shone with furious
intensity.

“
I couldn’t take it
anymore,” West continued.  “I gathered provisions and just
left.  I headed northeast, not really sure where I was going,
but thinking that even getting infected was almost better than
being treated the way I had been.”

I looked over at West with
hard eyes.  How could real life ever be worse than getting
infected?  What had they done to him for him to say
that?

“
I spent probably close to
a month traveling on my own.  I didn’t see another soul, not a
single infected.  It nearly drove me mad, being alone like
that.

“
And then I met two men
who had been out hunting.  They took what little food I had
and brought me back to their camp.  There were twenty or so of
them.  They were survivors but they weren’t a family like
here.  It was every man for himself first, help your fellow
man stay alive second.

“
But they knew how to
survive.  They taught me how to hunt, to survive in the
woods.  I owe them a lot I guess.  They could have just
killed me on sight out wandering in the woods,” he glanced over at
me with awkward hints of a smile.  I saw scars behind that
smile.  He dodged away from my probing stare back down at the
fire.

“
It was there that
Victoria found us.  She was beaten and could barely
stand.  She had Brady with her, not even able to walk
yet.  Brady had to grow up in the middle of that group. 
No child should ever have to learn to live in that
setting.

“
The group was out on a
scouting duty, different from how we do it here.  We were sent
out in groups, all of us, to collect any food we could find and
bring it back.  Victoria and Brady were in my group, along
with another man.  That’s when the raid happened.  We
heard the blast, even from a few miles away.  Our camp was
gone.  Soon we heard the helicopters and we knew the others
were gone too. 

“
The man who was with us,
he heard something coming up on us.  He told me to take
Victoria and Brady and run.  He went back to keep them off our
trail.”

West was quiet after that,
his eyes resting in the dirt at our feet.  I knew the fate of
the man who had saved them. 

I realized then that life
had never been easy for West.  In a way he had been shunned
his entire life.  When he was a child, he had been shut out
because of the fact that he was one.  And then because
everyone had known who he was.  I couldn’t blame him for
keeping his knowledge and information to himself.

The next morning we both
had scouting duty, which meant hunting.  Animals were becoming
scarce as we brought down more and more of them.  The sun
blazed overhead, sweat dripped down our backs, and we kept our pace
slow and steady.

West walked a few paces
ahead of me and I watched him as he moved.  He didn’t have the
grace and agility that Avian moved with.  West was a good two
inches shorter as well.  But West had a confidence about him
that Avian didn’t.  He was a self-involved person without
being selfish.  I wasn’t sure how to describe it but it was
almost as if everything in his world was right there with him,
contained in his head. 

What was it that I felt
for West?  He could send sparks through me, make my pulse
race.  He evoked strong emotions in me, not always good
ones.

Was that love?

I wished someone could
fully explain it to me.  I felt lost in this on my
own.

I silently caught pace
with West and slipped my hand into his.  He gave a small
glance down at our hands, the faintest hint of a smile cracking on
his lips, and turned his attention back to the forest around
us.

West’s hand felt warm in
mine, his calloused skin rubbing mine.  It was a steadying
gesture almost, like there was a confidence attached to it that
West would always keep me away from danger, even though I could
protect myself.

But it didn’t bring on the
sense of absolute belonging and comfort that Avian’s hand
brought.

The following morning, I
pulled West to a stop at the foot of a gigantic evergreen.  I
looked into his earth-colored eyes, looking for the answers I was
desperate for.  Was this love between us?  A place inside
of me hungered for him, wanted him in a selfish way and I listened
without hesitation.  His lips greeted mine.

Was this burning in my
chest love?  This overwhelming desire for more, that felt like
it would consume me from the inside out?

That night I stayed silent
as I crept to the medical tent.  Its flaps were tied back
again even though today had been much cooler.  Avian and
Victoria were inside, slowly eating as they sat side by side. 
They talked quietly in easy conversation, no awkward or tense
silences between them.

They looked…
happy.

I walked away, an
uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Was this what
it felt like to be sick?

I didn’t even realize
where I was going until I was at Sarah and Avian’s tent.  A
lamp softly glowed from within and I pushed aside the
flap.

To my amazement, Sarah was
propped up slightly, a plate of food in her lap.  It was
double portions to what the rest of us had been getting.

“
You’re alive,” I
said.  I had had doubts if I would find her to be
so.

She gave me a weak smile
and a glare as she forked some canned carrots into her
mouth.

“
I’ve been worried,” I
said as I sat down on Avian’s cot across from her.  “How are
you feeling?”

“
I’ve been better,” she
said.  Her voice sounded terrible.

I stared at Sarah while
she ate.  She was nothing more than a skeleton now, her skin
too loose on her frame.  Her hair was a matted mess and
truthfully, she smelled off. 

“
What is the matter, Eve?”
Sarah said as she finished the last of her dinner and set her plate
down on the bed.  “Something is bothering you.”

My eyes stared at nothing
as I tried to collect my thoughts.  She was right, something
was wrong, but I didn’t know where to start.  It felt
like
everything
was wrong.

“
Does it have something to
do with West?” she prompted.

I nodded, my eyes dropping
to my hands in my lap.  “I’m very confused,” I started. 
“I don’t understand what it is that I feel for him.  I know I
feel something I just don’t know what to do with it.”

“
Is it bad that you feel
something?”

I paused, evaluating her
question.  “I can’t have both,” I finally said
quietly.

“
Ah,” she said as she
folded her legs and rested her hands between them.  “Cause
then there’s Avian, huh?”

I gave a slight nod, still
not looking up.  “Is he in love with Victoria?” I suddenly
blurted.

“
Victoria?”  Sarah
sounded startled.  “Have they been spending time
together?”

“
Quite a bit,” I said
quietly.  “He has been training her.”

Sarah watched my face for
a moment.  “You’re jealous,” she half whispered.

“
Jealous?”

“
You don’t like him
spending time with her, do you?” she said with the tiniest hint of
a smile.

“
No,” I said with a
relieved sigh before I could think to be more tactful.  It was
strange that it felt like a relief to realize what I felt in that
aspect.

“
Do you know what you feel
for Avian?” she asked, her voice soft and kind.

I bit my lower lip and
shook my head.  “I wish I did.”

“
How
does Avian make you feel?” she asked.

I looked up into Sarah’s
eyes.  How
did
Avian make me feel?

“
Avian is home,” I finally
said, feeling like my chest was swelling.  “He makes me feel
safe, even though I can keep myself safe.  He makes me feel
normal, like I’m me.  He knows me.  He
matters
, far more than
he should to me.”

“
And how does West make
you feel?”

“
Alive, I guess,” I said,
an almost frustrated sigh escaping out of my chest.  “I feel
like I grow when I’m with him but not always in a good way. 
He pushes me to be more human but then he also brings out the
Fallen in me.”

Sarah looked at me, silent
with contemplation.  I suddenly hoped almost violently that
she was thinking of the answers to give me.  If only she could
lay things out clearly, tell me exactly the things I needed to
know.

“
I don’t know which one is
going to be right for you.  You are going to have to learn
that for yourself.  But I think there is going to be a time
that eventually comes when you’re going to realize it in an instant
and there’s going to be no question in your mind.”

“
Can’t that be right now?”
I said wistfully.

She chuckled, shaking her
head slightly.  That brought on a round of coughing.  I
helped her lay down and tucked her blankets up under her
chin.

“
I’d better go.  Got
to keep prepping for the trek,” I said as I moved to the flap of
the tent.

“
Trek?” she questioned as
she looked after me, her brow furrowing.

I was about to blurt when
I suddenly stopped myself.  “Never mind,” I said.  “Just
get some rest.”

Sarah only nodded, too
tired to question me further.  She rolled to her side and was
almost immediately asleep.

I stepped out of the tent
and started for my own.  I wasn’t even halfway there when a
figure moved toward me in the darkness.  I was familiar enough
with his gait to know it was Avian.

“
Hi,” I said, my voice
rising in pitch a bit as I stopped a little too
suddenly.

“
Hi,” he breathed as he
stopped just a few feet from me.  We stood there in momentary
awkward silence.  I wanted to walk away, I didn’t want to be
around Avian just then for a reason I didn’t understand.  But
at the same time I didn’t think I could walk away.  I was so
relieved to see him, to have him notice me.

“
How is the training
going?” I asked, taking a hard swallow.

“
Very well,” he said, his
eyes nearly glowing in the moonlight.  “Victoria catches on
quickly.”

I took another swallow,
only able to nod my head.

Again that strange
magnetic pull to Avian kicked in and I fought with everything I had
to not throw my arms around his shoulders and press my cheek into
his chest.