Ecstasy (6 page)

♥♥♥♥♥

Monica
was drying her hair when Craig walked in. She looked at him and tried to figure
out his mood. 'Perhaps this is a good time to bring up the idea,' she
speculated to herself. He looked back at her and smiled.

"Ok.
There's something on your mind and I can tell a mile away." His words were
soothing to her heart. Once again, he proved he knew her and he knew how to
take care of her.

"Ahhh,
yeah. Do you remember how...' she started out, but as she said the words, she
found his body next to her and hugging her. He hugged her with warmth and love
and she felt it. He was about to let go of her, but she refused his departure.

"If
you could just hold me for a minute longer, please!"

He
looked into her eyes and thought for a second.

"But
of course I can." He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and she
returned his hug with a warm embrace. She felt the need to feel him in her arms
and to rest her head on his strong shoulders. They gave her both peace and a
feeling of being at home, more safe and secure than she ever felt in her life.

There
in his arms she was free of worries and stress, she was at peace with the world
and nothing could touch her. She was happy and she felt the happiness with
every bit of her heart and soul.

"Please
don't go yet," she whispered in his ear.

A
moment of quiet settled in the room and it was as if he understood her
perfectly. She needed that quiet and she needed him to say nothing. She just
needed his arms around her and she needed to fill the beat of his heart next to
hers. She wished to stay there forever and never part from his presence even
for a minute. His touch transcended her into a world she longed and desired
with all her being. His face next to her was all that she needed and she
couldn't imagine how she lived so long without him.

"I
am a woman and you make me feel like a woman. You make me glow in your arms and
never want to part from you," she whispered again.

He
knew he didn't have to say anything. His arms said it all and he pressed his
face against her, as if to reassure her of his warmth and sincere love for her.
Nothing more needed be said and he knew it all too well.

He
was her dream man and he embodied all that she wanted from a man. His candid
smile took her on the road to ecstatic love and wholesomeness. She felt
wholesome around him and he took care of every one of her needs. There was
nothing more she needed while he was next to her and she felt no need to want
more. She had it all. She forgot all that she was going to ask him. Not even
sex could make her feel the way she felt right then and it was all thanks to
him.

"I
feel perfect when you are with me, darling," her lips whispered.

"You
are perfect as you are, dear. You were born an original. You'll never make it
as a copy."

"Oh?
How so? No one's perfect and you know that!"

"Your
imperfections make you perfect, Monica. Without them, I could've never reach
your heart. Without them, I could've never got to know you and without them,
I'd have no clue of how to love you. You are an angel for me. I hope you never
fly away."

"Your
love took away my wings, darling."

"I
can never take anything from you. I can only give. And the only thing I have to
give you is my unconditional love."

She
kissed him on the lips and sat down on the couch while thinking of his words.

"Is
there really such thing as 'unconditional love'? Don't we expect something in
return, dear? And more often than not, don't we expect our loved ones to
abstain from some things in exchange for our love?" she asked.

He
looked puzzled for a minute and didn't know what to answer.

"I
guess the best way to say it is that you'd go along with anything somebody
wants when you love them."

"
Anything
?"
she asked inquisitively.

"Well.
There are some boundaries, of course. But that's the hard part about all this;
where does one draw the boundaries? Would I kill for you? Sure, but only if
your life was in danger. In real danger."

"Perhaps
those are expected things."

"They're
more like things that belong to the realm of reality, dear. Love is real and
she lives in the real world. It's not a
Hollywood
movie and it's not what they'd have you
believe it's cracked up to be."

"That
sounds a little vague."

"Well,
we all love people and things that make rational sense to us, yet love is not
all that rational. Not always. In any case, we want the best for the person we
love."

Monica
listened intensely to his words.

"So,
how far should that go? What would you say if I told you I'd want you to fuck
another woman while I fuck another man? Would you go along with it?"

His
face froze for a second, but he quickly regained his usual composure.

"Sure.
I would. Especially if you told me before, not after."

Monica
froze. She expected him to say anything but that. He sensed her feelings.

"The
greater the love, the greater the fear," he tried to explain.

"Oh?"

"Fear
is the mother of security!" he tried once more to clear things up for her.

"I
don't get it," she said still confused.

"Well,
the more you love someone, the less you want to loose them. So, sharing them
with someone instills that fear. It instills the fear that person you love may
never come back. But people forget that love is not a cat or a stray dog
forever. Love is all that, to be sure, but just like a stray dog that's fed, it
keeps coming back to the hand that fed it. All that describes you."

"How
do you know these things about me?"

"Your
heart is like a glass house, baby. I don't have to peek through any
keyholes."

"Oh,
whoa! You just don't stop to amaze me, do you?!" she wondered at him.

"Not
my intent to do so, honey. I am just myself."

"So,
you wouldn't mind seeing me get penetrated by another guy?"

He
looked straight into her eyes and tried to figure out where she was going with
all the questions.

"Nope,"
he made up his mind.

"Why
not?"

"Because
I love you unconditionally. Pure and simple."

Her
face looked like stone for a second. She just didn't know what else to say.

"How
about we put it to a test?"

He
walked to the bar, fixed a drink and took a big gulp. He needed it.

"Ok,
Monica, what is this all about?"

"I
am certainly not testing you or your heart, if that's what you mean. But there
is something that's been crossing my mind lately and I wonder what you think
about it."

"So
why not just come out and ask it, instead of all this?"

"I
didn't drive this discussion here intentionally. It just happened. But since it
did, I might as well tell you."

"Please
do. I am curious."

"First,
I am very glad to hear you feel this way. Because I really want us to do
it."

"Do
what, baby? What is 'it'?"

"Would
you fix me a drink, too, please?"

"Oh,
sure! Where are my manners?" he mumbled mostly to himself. He handed her
the drink and then sat next to her.

"I
am listening."

"I
want to see you done by another woman. And I want you to watch me get fucked by
another guy."

He
frowned a little and contemplated over what to say.

"Is
there something I am missing? Is there something you need, something I failed
to give you?"

"No!"
she rejected his guilt firmly. "Well...no. It's definitely not you."

"Come
on, Monica! That is the first thing people say to one another when they've
already made a decision they know their partner wouldn't like and they try to
protect them!"

"No!
I mean it! Really, it's not you!"

"Then
what? We've made it so great so far! Don't you think?"

"I
do. I also know we need a little diversity. Sexual diversity, to be more
blunt."

"Ha
ha ha! You think we need to be a little more 'cosmopolitan' in bed?"

"Yes!
And why not? We're really not as monogamous as people think or would want us to
believe!"

"Do
you really want to get into a philosophical discussion about this now,
baby?"

"Sure!
Look. We're really not monogamous at all, sexually speaking anyway."

"How
do you back up that argument?"

"It
comes down to choice, but in a different way than one may think. Let's just
argue this from a guy's point of view. Let's say we have a guy who sees twenty
beautiful women in a week and he interacts with all of them somehow."

"You
mean, fucks them?"

"No.
Interacts with them socially only, silly. Then he chooses one of them. At least
most guys choose only one girl. The guys who choose more than one girl at the
same time are labeled womanizers, but that too is wrong."

"That's
what society tells us, anyway. It says that a guy should only be with one girl
- at the time."

"Right!
But if the girl he chose is not available then he'll go to the next one. And if
she's not available either, then he'll go to the next one. And so forth and so
on."

"Ok.
I am listening," he said patiently.

"So,
once he comes about the girl who is available and she consents to dating him,
rules come in play to dictate that he should 'stick' with her, so to say. Those
are the rules you just mentioned."

"Society's
rules, right?"

"Right
again. And the same rules encourage her to expect him to play it all
monogamous, else he'd be in big trouble. In a way, she is conditioned by the
same rules, because she is part of that 'society' he lives in. They are both
told and conditioned to believe they must abide by those rules."

"Not
all rules are bad in society, darling."

"Don't
try to divert the point, honey."

"I
am not. Just saying..."

"Well,
perhaps you're not, but you're doing it. Nevertheless, the point is that once
an individual made a choice in a partner, he is to stay with that choice. But
the choice he made in the very beginning is purely arbitrary. He could have
chosen any one of the available girls and perhaps the choice could have been a
much better one. And all that came down to what girl was available at the time.
Yet he's confronted with a wall of social biased and waves of criticism if he
played two girls at the same time."

"Yeah.
Most people would mind that," consented Craig.

"So,
his choice to date a particular woman rather than other is all of the sudden
limited by this 'monogamous' thing."

"Come
on, baby. You're being a little unfair here. The man made his choice when he
asked the woman out!"

"What
he did was a commitment of a sort, not a choice! He committed himself to that
woman and yes, that is a commitment he made freely and of his own choice. But
it wasn't based entirely on his choice. He wanted another girl in the
beginning, remember? The one who happened not to be available then! So, he
should be just as free to break that commitment as he was to make it."

"Hmmmmm,
yeeeah, but I am not sure that's a good argument. His commitment affect other
people, like the woman he chose to date."

"Well,
let's just be clear about something," she cut him short. "To be sure,
he definitely needs to let her know that he'd like to date other women,
before
he starts dating them. But if she's ok with that, then no one should be able to
dictate to them how to run their own lives. Least of all society."

"I
see."

"So,
nobody should tell us whether or not it's ok to get a part-time fuck buddy, so
long as we both agree before we go out to find one."

"Is
this what you want, honey? A 'part-time fuck buddy'?"

"Not
really," she objected leisurely. "And I have not finished making my
point about monogamy and why I believe it's wrong."

"I
didn't think you did, darling," he agreed while sounding sarcastic.

"Oh,
baby! I know you're smart and you know you don't have to prove it to me! Try
not to be a smart-ass!" she smirked at him.

"Monica,
let me assure you that sarcasm is not what I had in mind. I just agreed with
you."

"Ok.
I believe you. I guess the best way to argue that there is no such thing as a
'natural' monogamy among humans is to point out that our DNA is all the same,
for all of us. If monogamy was to be a natural thing, then nature would've made
sure that my body belong to one man and one man only, no matter what else I
might have wanted or desired. And nature would have made sure there wouldn't be
anyway for me to get around it."