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	[email protected] 1/10/00, 12:45pm (4:45pm local)
to:	[email protected] [email protected]
cc:
re:	Mako

I just wanted to catch up with you on Mako. I may be here in Paradise but I’d never forget my little petals back in dear old Blighty.
Actually, Paradise it is not. My leg is doing a plausible impersonation of an inflatable salami after an encounter with a jellyfish. I take that as ominous. I asked a fisherman why all the boats had been hauled off the beach and he muttered darkly about a typhoon. Of course the local met office pleaded ignorance but I’ve been here before, darlings. My money is on the dusky señor mending his lobster pots.

But enough of me and my woes. Back to Mako! I understand the meeting went well last Friday so now we must hasten to production. Pinki, I have briefed my PA to get in a number of directors’ reels for your perusal. You should inform her of your favourites. Harriet, perhaps you would let me have some info’ on timing and budgets and I can begin to prepare a schedule.

Now I must round up those lovable rascals, Vincent and Brett, before they wreak any more havoc. I have already had one of my talented cast drop out after a Vesuvian eruption of silicon. I should hate to lose any more to their sordid ministrations.

Wish you were here.

	David Crutton – 1/10/00, 12:50pm
to:	Zoë Clarke
cc:
re:	lunch

I am working through lunch today. You can make up for your abysmal start this morning by getting me a sandwich (cheese, salad, mayo on white bap), bag of cheese and onion crisps, Diet Coke, Fruit and Nut, and a king-size Mars Bar. And hurry up. I’m not nice when I’m hungry.

	Lorraine Pallister – 1/10/00, 12:52pm
to:	Zoë Clarke
cc:
re:	lunch

Reception in two.

	[email protected] 1/10/00, 12:58pm (4:58pm local)
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	bingo!

Knew I’d seen that Coke line before. Just asked Vin and it came to him straight off. A girl team from Watford left their book with Horne a few months back. He never bothered to look at it but we snuck a peek while it was under Susi’s desk – they looked fit when they dropped it off so we thought we’d look inside for their number. Anyway, they’d done a campaign for 7UP. The line was “IT’S IN THE CAN.” It was the best thing they had by a street. Is one of Horne’s scripts about a beekeeper and a salesman? If it is, this ain’t no coincidence. The cunning prick knicked it.

Topowlski of the Yard

	[email protected] 1/10/00, 1:19pm (3:19pm local)
to:	[email protected]
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re:	FIZZY POP

I am worrying that your continuing indeciding on the Coke matter is holding us up too much at this end. So this morning I am taking the liberty of preparing presenting materials on your behalf. I am flying in top storyboard artists from Stockholm. They will be making a super-dooper job, of that I am certain.

I also have news of a breakthrough of even more sizeability. I am nosing around my very good contacts in the pop record business and I believe I am making Aqua themselves interested in singing “Fizzy Whizzy Pop” at the presenting meeting! Wowee, who would believe? Obviously, there will be fees and expendings for considering. But real pop legends in the blood and sweat!

Between you, me and the bed sheet I think the reason behind their interest is the fact that they are not having a top seller for some months. I know not if you are following the hit parade chart, but they
are seeing tough competition from groups like Take This, the Space Girls (I am loving Baby Space!) and Hanson. It is difficult for them out there. But if it is bringing them into our Miller Shanks family, then who is caring?

Mmmmm bop – Pertti.

	[email protected] 1/10/00, 1:33pm
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	bingo!

Shit, fuck and blimey o’riley. I’ve just come out of Pinki’s first “Community Creative Love-in” and that’s some bit of news to greet me with. I knew Horne was an unprincipled motherfucker, but didn’t think even he’d stoop to stealing ideas off a couple of potless students. But what do we do with this bombshell? As I see it there are two options:

There we have it: a fascinating moral dilemma; an intriguing conundrum; a fucking dog’s dinner. What the hell do we do?

	David Crutton – 1/10/00, 1:35pm
to:	Zoë Clarke
cc:
re:	lunch

Where the fuck are you? More to the point, where the fuck is my sandwich? You’re extremely lucky that you’re not as plug-ugly as the Craigie girl, otherwise you’d now be spending more time at home with
TV Quick.

	Pinki Fallon – 1/10/00, 1:43pm
to:	Creative Department
cc:
re:	you’re amazing