Dying to Remember (The Station #2) (3 page)

I'm beyond
thrilled when we pass the Administration building. As a cruel joke, I was
half-expecting Niles to pair me with someone like Tight Bun Lady. I would not
survive that. Instead, we mingle our way through the small groups of people
scattered around the grounds until I find myself in front of the Ones building.
My stomach flips with excitement.
No job here could possibly suck!

"Piper,
the Ones building is a delicate place. It's the only part of the Station that
most of us will never understand. The children come and go. Why they come here
and where they go to we don’t truly know but they need us just the same while
they are here. Do you understand that?"

I nod my
head.

"Okay.
Well, you don't have the proper training for new arrivals. So you won't be
working with the new children."

My face falls
with disappointment.
He's going to make me a Janitor, won't he?

"Will I
be with the children at all?" I ask hesitantly.

"Yes.
Please, come in with me. There's someone I'd like you to meet." He opens
the large front door and ushers me through.

The first
thing I notice is how different the Ones building is inside. There's no
particular color theme, like with the rest of the buildings, and yet there is
hardly any white. Except for the floors; the floors are the same organic-like
opaqueness as the rest of the Station. But the walls are beautifully aglow with
every color of the rainbow and those in between. The bright splashes of color
layer the walls, ceiling and furniture with a liquid sort of veneer finish. As
Niles moves confidently across the large and open foyer, I reach out and touch
the wall closest to me. There's a shimmer of movement like milky blood beneath
the cool, glass surface that I can't identify, no matter how long I stare at
it.

"Piper,
this is Mrs. Fox," Niles says kindly from behind me.

I look across
the room to see a smiling blonde woman moving toward us. She seems to be in her
thirties or forties but it's hard to tell. Her slender form seems hidden a bit
beneath her t-shirt and Capri pajama bottoms but it's her facial features that
mostly draw my attention. Her slightly hooded eye lids sprout long and dark
lashes that blink delicately around irises the color of dark coffee. The skin
around them crinkles when she smiles, evoking a natural warmth that lights up
her entire face. Her slender nose matches her thin lips and the daintiness of
her chin balances out her strong jaw-line. She has an old Hollywood actress
look to her.

"Hi,
Piper. You can call me Laney. Mrs. Fox seems so formal."

I take her
outstretched hand and shake it with a smile. "Nice to meet you,
Laney."

"Piper
here needs a temporary job, Mrs. Fox. I thought maybe she could work over here
for a bit." Niles gives me a wink.

"Oh, I'm
sure we can find something for Piper." She turns to face me, cocks her
head to the side and laughs softly. "You know, I've seen you hover around
the front window before."

I can feel
myself blush. "Oh, I'm sorry."

"Don't
apologize. The children can be calming, can't they?" she asks.

"Yes,
they can," I admit.

"Okay,
well Piper, you are in excellent hands here, so I'll be off," Niles says,
"I am sure you can find me if you need me?"

"I think
I'll be okay. Will you come back and tell me when I can see Sloan again?"
I bite my lower lip to keep it from trembling. For a little while I had almost
forgotten that Sloan was going through all the standard-issue procedures for a
new arrival.

"Of
course, dear. As soon as he's available I will let you know."

Relief floods
through me as I hug Niles goodbye. "Thank you," I whisper in his ear.

After one
more wink, Niles leaves and I'm left alone in the foyer with Laney. I don't
know what it is she will have me do, but being anywhere near the children is
therapeutic. The laughter coming from the room next door is invigorating; I
can't wait to meet them.

"How
about you follow me out back first? I'll show you around a bit and we can
figure out where you will best fit. How does that sound?" Laney asks.

"Sounds
great."

Maybe
getting a new job won't suck after-all.

***

New jobs
suck.

After seeing
what happens in the Ones building - what
really
happens in the Ones
building, I would rather be the Station Janitor. A lot more children pass
through here than I ever could have imagined, using our after-life haven as a
traveler would a lay-over in an airport terminal. For the little ones the
Station is just a meeting place between what was and what is to come.

Unlike the
rest of the new arrivals, the Ones - or the children under thirteen years old,
don't process into the Station through the Admissions Department. Though they
arrive just like I did, alone in the cool white nothing beyond the Station
gates, they are taken immediately to the Ones building which is where they stay
until they are processed out. My new job is to help the Staff with transfers.
There is nothing easy, nothing enjoyable about telling a child they need to
move on, when you can't tell them where they are moving on
to
.

I've become a
running girl; walking up and down the long hall that snakes through the bowels
of the Ones building with a different child in tow each time. Sometimes they
hold my hand, sometimes they cry. Only one child, a beautiful, doe-eyed girl
with raven-black hair, has actually skipped with excitement down that long
hall, happy to see what waited for her on the other side.

"Where
do you think I'll go? Will my grandpa be there, waiting for me?" The
slight-framed girl had asked as she all but danced beside me.

"I don't
know, sweetie," was what I said to her. And it was true. I didn't know.
I
still don't.

"It must
be wonderful, kinda like an adventure, dontcha think, Piper?" She beamed
as we stopped in front of the large white door that was I was only allowed to
open for her, but not pass through myself. There were other staff members
waiting on the other side to finish the transition.

"I'm
sure it's amazing, kiddo."

She hugged me
tightly and smiled, showing off teeth that were still too big for her small
mouth before she vanished into the whiteness.
Gone forever.

This is all
I've done for what feels like weeks. Walk up and down the bright hallway
barefoot with children who shouldn't know what suicide is. Most of them don't
understand it completely, even though I know they have been through their own
version of Orientation.

When there's
a lull, I'm allowed to sit with the young ones in the massive oval-shaped
playroom with the long bay window and listen to them sing and dance. It's my
favorite place, aside from the fountain that serves as the Station's busiest
focal point. The walls in the Ones building change on their own, fitting with
the moods of the children around them. The high-energy children tend to evoke
bright colors, like lime greens, sunshine yellows and cherry reds. The mellower
of the bunch fill the room with dark purples that remind me of ripe plums and
deep ocean blues that make me miss the sea tremendously.

The floors
remain the same cloudy white, but the ceilings here change. Sometimes they are
a dark navy blue; filled with softly shimmering white pin-pricks of light, like
far-away stars. And other times they are creamy like lemon cake frosting.
Regardless, they are alive with something wildly magical and mysteriously
organic.

"Piper?"

I turn my
gaze away from two nine year old girls that are gleefully spinning around the
main room to look up at Laney. She has a puzzled and slightly concerned look on
her face and beckons for me to come to her. When I get closer to the doorway
she stands in, I can see someone in the foyer behind her.

"Yes
Laney?" I go up on my toes, trying to see over her shoulder but the person
has moved out of view.

"There's
someone here to see you, but maybe you could talk outside?" Her eyes are
questioning but she keeps whatever she wants to ask to herself as she moves
aside to let me pass.

Standing with
his palm flat on one of the foyer walls is Sloan. He's stroking the wall much
like I did when I first entered the Ones building, marveling at the soft yellow
glow around his hand. I stare at him, apparently for too long, because I jump
when Laney clears her throat before casually strolling into the playroom.

Sloan turns
to see me watching him and slowly drops his hand from the wall. For a moment we
just look at each other, the subtle blinking of our eyes the only movement in
the room.

"Hi,"
I finally say when my voice remembers how to work.

"Hi,"
he responds with a shy smile, dragging a hand through his dark hair.

Oh my god.
That smile.
I glance down at my feet to make sure I'm not melting into a
puddle of teenage hormones.
Nope, still intact.
Amazing.

"Um, I
hope it's okay that I came by?" He shoves his hands into his back pockets
and shifts most of his body weight onto his right foot. The dusty-blue color of
his faded jeans match his eyes almost perfectly.

"I think.
I mean, sure…yeah, of course it is," I pause to take in a deep breath so
my words sound a tad less spastic, "I meant, yes. It's fine. Should we go
outside for a bit?"

He nods and
steps back to open the front door and as I pass closely by him, the sweet yet
sour smell of grapefruit drifts down around him like a citrus waterfall. We all
smell of it for some strange reason, but on him the fruit mixes with his
natural fresh and musky scent to create an overpowering sex appeal that makes
my mouth salivate and my legs feel like jelly. Grapefruit will never mean the
same thing to me again.

I know when I
step out into the ivory atmosphere of the Station, with Sloan walking slowly
beside me, that things will forever be different. Because if I didn't admit it to
myself before, now I'm absolutely sure; I'm one hundred percent
in love
with him.

Crap.

I think I
actually stop breathing as I aimlessly wander toward the fountain. The whole
time Sloan follows me so quietly that when I finally sit, I'm surprised to see
him really standing there.

"This is
beautiful," he says.

I blink
twice.
Beautiful?

He laughs
softly, "The fountain…its beautiful. I've never seen one like it."

Oh, right.
I'm such a dork.

I nod, unable
to speak since my voice has run away again. I watch him drag his fingers
through the cool water, knowing very well how therapeutic the fountain is. I
can't believe he's here. Sitting next to me. Sitting
right
next to me.
So close I could reach out and touch him.

"What
happened, Sloan?" I chew on my lower lip as his hand stills in the water
suddenly.

"Can I
ask you something?" he asks without looking up at me.

"Of
course, anything."

"From
what I understand, you know everything about me. The good…
and
the
bad." He finally looks up at me and our eyes lock, exchanging silent
information through our gaze. I simply nod at him.

"Okay.
Well, it's weird you know, having someone else inside my head."

I laugh so
loud it makes him jump. "Believe me, I said the same thing to my
Volunteer."

"You've
met your Volunteer too?" He seems shocked.

"Yeah,
but it was under totally different circumstances. I had no idea who she was; my
Intake Specialist introduced us. I didn't know what to think of her when we
met."

"They
told me it was a mistake when you were brought back here, that you probably
should have stayed. Well,
obviously
you should have stayed," he
says while slowly scanning my face.

"I am so
sorry, Sloan."

I reach out
to touch him, but I can't do it. Not yet, so I let my hand fall between us
instead, onto the cool tile of the fountain rim.

"It's
not your fault," he says quietly.

"It was
my job, though. And I failed at it." I'm trying not to cry, so I look away
from him.

"No, you
didn't. I remember how empty I felt when you were gone. It's like…I don't
know…it was like a light just went out inside me. I couldn't handle anything on
my own. That wasn't your fault; it was mine," he pauses to nudge my leg
softly with his knuckles before continuing, "I think I missed you."

I feel the
breath stop in my throat as I bite down on my lower lip again.
Please don't
make me look at you, Sloan…or I'll burst into tears.

He sighs
deeply while moving his hand away from my leg. While the air leaks slowly out
of the tiny pathway my throat has become, I silently count to ten before speaking.

"I
missed you too. But I have to admit, I didn't want to see you
here
."

"When
did you first get my case?" he asks, staring at me intently.

"Uh. It
was right after…you know, right after you bought the gun."

"Oh.
Okay. Yeah, you told me to get rid of it, didn't you?" His blue eyes bore
into mine. I nod.

"I
didn't," he says flatly.

The
implication of his statement twists around in my gut until I'm sure I'll hurl
my stomach lining onto his lap. I can't stop the tears now and they begin
filling my eyes until the Station becomes only a white blur around me.

"Piper,
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," Sloan is leaning toward me, with
his warm hand on my back, gently squeezing my shoulders.

Embarrassed,
I flatten the heels of my hands against my eyes until the tears stop.
Great,
now you look like a baby, Piper. Good going.