Dying to Remember (The Station #2) (2 page)

"Well,"
Niles says to no one in particular, "…this is definitely not something I
can handle alone. I'll be right back. The three of you, please stay here."

When Niles
leaves it's as if all the oxygen in the room is sucked out with him. Carlson is
still staring at the floor, holding on to his trusted metal 'to-do' list as if
someone wants to steal it from him. And Sloan and I exchange several awkward
glances at each other before we both find different walls to lean on. I still want
answers; the first being…
what is he doing here?

Just as I'm
afraid I might scream into the suffocating silence of the narrow hallway, the
door opens again and in steps Edith. This is only the second time I've seen her
and she's just as striking. Her big bangs shift around her face as she enters
the room with a tight smile. Carlson looks about nervously while Sloan stares
at her…most likely curious as to why she's dressed in a baby-doll nightgown in
the middle of the day.

Oh Sloan,
I didn't want this for you.

"So,"
she looks from me to Sloan as she talks, "I see we have a bit of a unique
situation on our hands."

Unique?
I'm not the first Volunteer to meet their Assignment. What's unique about that?

"Mr.
Nash, my name is Edith Ray. Welcome to the Station." She smiles at him
while they shake hands.

"Hi. I'm
a little lost here," Sloan admits.

"Of
course, I understand, I do. But I have to ask you something before you continue
on to your Orientation, Mr. Nash. If you don't mind?"

He shakes his
head so she continues, "Mr. Abbott has informed me that you mentioned
knowing Miss Willow, knowing her voice. What did you mean?"

He blinks at
her several times. "Uh, I don't know why, but I recognize her voice
from…before. And she told me her name. I don't know how, exactly, I just heard
her. I'd know her voice anywhere."

I feel my
cheeks heat up like a furnace.
Don't look at me, please don't look at me.
Of course when I glance up from staring at my big toes, he's watching me
intently.
Great.

"Before
you came here, the two of you did not know each other," Edith says
quietly, and both Sloan and I nod in agreement before she continues, "I'm
not sure I've ever heard of an Assignment being able to not only remember but
identify his Volunteer by voice. I'll have to discuss this with the others.
Piper," she turns to face me, "I need you to refrain from volunteer
work until we get this all sorted out, okay?"

"Okay.
But, what should I do?" The coolness from the floor shoots up my legs as
my knees nervously knock together.

"Mr. Abbott
will find something for you to do, I'm sure. Right, Niles?" She smiles
sweetly at him and it's clear to me they are closer than friends.

"Yes,
Edith. I will have her shadow me until we find a job for her," he answers,
matching her smile with a flash of white teeth.

Job?

"As for
you, Mr. Nash, you really must continue on to your Orientation. Your questions
are best answered there. Shall I accompany you and Mr. Smith?" She
gestures with her delicate hand for them to follow her out of the room.

Sloan sends
me one more inquisitive look before disappearing into the main hallway,
instantly getting lost in the rush of busy Station dwellers. My legs finally
give out and I slump against the wall, sliding down it to the floor, where I
intend on staying until I see a flying pig or Hell itself, frozen over.

"Piper?"

I ignore
Niles. I want to ignore everything. I'm stubbornly waiting for the flying pig.

"Piper.
I'm just as confused as you are right now, but you have to talk to someone. The
Station doesn't work well if we don't all work together," he says gently.
With a heavy sigh, he first squats and then sits down beside me. The pleats of
his pants spread out as he hooks one leg over the other and loosely folds his
hands in his lap.

"I can
wait," he says calmly.

You'll be
here all day. Oh, but wait, we don't HAVE days or nights at the Station. So
maybe you'll be here forever.
The thought depresses me.
Where's a flying
pig when you need one??

"What am
I supposed to do now, Niles?" I finally break the silence.

"Honestly,
Piper, I'm not sure. But we will get it all figured out. Don’t worry; Edith
knows what she is doing," he says as he pats my bent knee.

As I fold my
legs up higher into my chest so that I can rest my chin on them, I'm
contemplating the point of my existence, dying to remember a time when things
were so much simpler when the door bursts open and Mallory throws herself
ungraciously into our little hall and stumbles over to my feet.

"Piper!
I've been looking for you everywhere! I ran into Carlson in the hallway, which
is great because I really need to talk to you," she says, nearly out of
breath.

"Mallory,
if it's bad news, I can't handle it right now." I cover my face with both
hands so I don't have to look at her perfectly shaped, thin legs standing just
inches away from my own gangly ones.

"Piper,"
she leans down so she her mouth is just beside my ear,
"Piper, it's
about Ryan Burke."
I scramble off the cold floor so fast that I
startle Niles. Mallory has just delivered my flying pig.

While I run
out the door, hot on Mallory's heels as we flee the building, for one very
brief moment I have forgotten completely about Sloan and about my own suicide.
Right now I simply want to know what Mallory has to tell me. We pass the large
water fountain with the aqua-blue tile and move away from the small groups of
people that are mingling around the center of the Station. When we stop, I
recognize we are now hovering along the side of the Ones building. I want to
shake whatever information she has out of her pretty cheerleader body.

"What,
what is it?" I try not to scream the question at her.

"Okay,
look. You know there is only so much I can tell you about a case, right?"
Her blue eyes are large and waiting, gauging for my reaction. I wave with my
hands impatiently for her to continue.

"So,
lookit. I just got back from my last case and you were the first I had to talk
to about her. Well, not
her
really…but her
boyfriend
." She
blinks at me, letting the reality of what she has said sink in.

"No way.
You're telling me that
Ryan Burke
was your Assignment's boyfriend? Is
that what you're saying?" I ask half in shock, half furious.

"Yes.
And wow, was that a
mess
, Piper. You have NO idea. He's still just as
big a jerk, you know," she says as her voice hitches with excitement.

"How
could this possibly be amusing? Are you actually laughing? How could
you
of all people think this -
any
of this is funny?!" I am yelling so
loud that Mallory grabs my arm and pushes me around the corner of the building
where we are less likely to draw attention.

"It's
not funny, Piper! Calm down, I haven't told you the best
part
," she
pauses to take a deep breath.

"Well,
hurry up, before I smack it out of you," I say, almost meaning it.

"Piper,
Ryan's in jail."

I don't
understand. I stare, blinking at her, unable to speak.

"In
jail…like, for a long time," she adds, as if this will help me find the
ability to use the English language again.

"Okay,
let's sit. Shall we?" She pulls me down to the ground and we lean against
the cool outer wall of the Ones building. I sit in stunned silence while she
shares what she's allowed to share with me.

"Ryan
moved to Northern California on some scholarship and that's where he met…my
Assignment. Jeez, I almost blew it and said her name. Anyway, so they started
dating before I came around. But he was bad, I mean, really bad to her; abusive
in all ways possible, if you know what I mean. And my poor girl, she just had
zero self-confidence. Well, fast-forward to my arrival. Things are horrible
with Ryan…really awful. She had just gotten out of the hospital - where
he
put her after smashing her face into a wall, when I came in. I convinced her to
stay with friends while we developed a plan to land that bastard in jail. It
took six months of real time…
six long months
…and two in-treatment stays
for her at the hospital, but we did it. He's in
JAIL
, Piper. And he
won't get out any time soon. They got him for
Attempted Murder
."
She leans back against the wall and blows a heavy gust of air out of her mouth,
looking satisfied with her story.

"Oh
wow," is all I can say.

Holy CRAP;
is what I'm thinking.

In jail.
Actually in
jail
; for Attempted Murder, no less.
He really is a bastard.

***

I wander
around the Station aimlessly until Niles eventually finds me sitting outside
the Training Department building. I know I walked the whole place enough times
to bloody the soles of my feet but we can't bleed in the Station of course.
Lost in my own thoughts and memories, I tune out all the signs of nearby
people. It's just me, lost in the shell of the life I used to have.

"Piper.
Are you okay, dear?" I hear Niles speaking above me. It's not until he
reaches out to touch my shoulder that I blink and look up at him.

"Huh?"       

"Are you
okay?" he repeats his question, his brow furrowed into more lines than a
folded up map.

"Yes.
No. I don't know."

It's an
honest answer. Ryan Burke in jail is awesome. But knowing he kept hurting
people because I never said anything…well, it feels awful. Like what is left of
my soul is being ripped from me. If there was a 'Worst Person of the Year'
award at the Station I was pretty sure I'd win it.

"I spoke
with Mallory before she headed off to the Consignment Department. I'm sure you
are already aware of what she told me?"

"She
told you? About Ryan Burke?" I'm shocked.

"Well,
yes. I'm your Intake Specialist, obviously news like that is going to affect
you somehow," he answers.

"Right.
Consider me affected, then."

"Oh,
Piper. We are all connected, more so than any of us knows before we die. This
won't be the last time someone you know here meets someone you knew when you
were alive. It will happen," he says softly.

"How do
you deal with it? When it's about someone you hated?" I glare at him.

Two women in
their thirties passing by pause to smile at us and greet Niles. After they have
moved on, Niles sits down beside me with his legs crossed, mimicking my
position, resting his hands on his knees before taking a deep breath.

"Have I
told you how I arrived at the Station, Piper?"

I look over
at him, the middle-aged man with grey hair and a kind face, and I know he
surely must remember he has not talked to me about his past, but I slowly shake
my head anyway. He nods and begins to share his story with me.

"It was
a sunny day in Seattle with some clouds here and there…a nice breeze; just a
perfect day, really. I was working on some paperwork in the office early that
morning, waiting for my sons to give me a call. They were on vacation in New
York for the first time and even though they were in their early twenties, I
still had them check in with me every morning," he pauses to laugh softly,
rubbing his hands on his knees before taking a shallow breath and continuing,
"I was drinking a cup of coffee when my sister called and told me turn on
the television. The first plane had just flown into the World Trade Center
building. I sat mesmerized by horror, as the second plane hit, and the fire
forced some of those poor souls to jump to their deaths. I just watched them
fall. Holding hands. People."

I listened to
Niles speak without moving. I remember 9/11 even though I was a little kid. My
Dad sat in front of the T.V. with his glossy eyes glued to the screen for two
days. The weirdest part of it for me was playing outside that week under empty
skies. Not a plane in sight. Niles seemed older as he spoke, like he was aging
before me. I listened intently, afraid to forget even just one word of his
story.

"After
two days of waiting for them to call me, I knew something was wrong. After a
week, they were officially put on the missing list." He pauses to swallow
hard, "I found out from one of their travel companions that my boys had
visited a friend's dad at his office that day." He stops talking long
enough to rake his hands down his face and then fans them out before him with
his last sentence, "All that was ever found was half of my youngest son's
wallet."

Oh my
gosh.

"I
lasted almost a year before I hung myself in the solitude of my library
closet." When he turns to look at me with a trembling smile and tears
swimming in his blue eyes, I reach my hand out for his, holding it tightly to
my chest.

"I'm so
sorry, Niles."

"Oh, me
too. Me too, dear. I've been here for a long time and seen a lot of sadness. A
lot of pain. What I've learned is that we can't focus on that now; we have to
move on and help others. It's our second chance at happiness. For whatever
reason, we couldn't handle the pain of our lives, but we
can
handle
this."

Suddenly,
Niles leans over and plants a quick kiss on the top of my head before shoving
off the ground. As he smooth's out his pants and adjusts his sweater-vest, I
push myself away from the wall and stand in front of him.

I try out my
best smile before asking, "So, what are you going to do with me?"

"Hmm. I
think I have an idea. Just keep in mind, it's temporary, dear."

My smile
wavers as I follow him through the center of the Station, passing the buildings
and the giant water fountain.
Wonder where he's taking me?