Dying Commitment (Lucky Thirteen) (21 page)

“I know,” I whispered, and fired the weapon. The sound ricocheted all around us, and the small bullet slammed into Jack’s shoulder with such force that he lost his balance. I stepped over to him as he moaned and started to push himself up with his good arm. Blood was already starting to flow fast and furious. “I’m not like you, Jack.”

“I know. You’re actually good...” he groaned out. “Fuck, this hurts.”

“I’m going to tell you this one time. So listen good.” I knelt by him so I had his full attention. “We have a very uneasy truce, old man. Fuck me over, and you’ll wish I’d hit you in the heart and not the shoulder.” I pointed the gun at his head. “Trust me on that, if anything.”

“Thank you…” he forced out, almost inaudibly. I wasn’t sure what he thanking me more. For hunting him down? For shooting him? Sometimes, I wondered if Dylan really did have an effect on me at all, but in that moment, I didn’t feel anything for Jack. No anger, no guilt, no nothing. There was simply a void.

I slid back into the driver’s seat, and seconds later, the dust from the dirt road kicked up behind me. I didn’t look behind. I didn’t need to. I would always have eyes on Jack. Between his shoulder blades, we’d injected a tracker, micro-chipped him like a favored pet. And behind his ear, we had a small listening device. He’d probably find the bug eventually, but we weren’t trying to hide it. Murphy and I both thought doing both would be the best, just in case Jack decided not to uphold his end of the deal. We would always know where he was. Trust only went so far.

I left Jack Allen lying on the ground, blood soaking his shirt. And I didn’t feel anything. I’d become the monster that Dylan had tried to save me from.

~*~*~

Sometimes I wondered if Jack had some kind of magical ability over me, because the further away I got from him, the more I began to feel. Nerves pulled at every inch of my body as I pulled the vehicle back into the cargo area. I had shot a man, on purpose, and practically left him to bleed out on the road. I knew Jack, and I knew he’d survive it, as surely as I’d survived the chest wound he’d given me five years ago. But the whole thing left me feeling… sick.

Not to mention… Dylan and I had left things… unfinished. I’d hoped he would be waiting when I came back, but really… what right did I have to expect that? The fact that he’d come to the cargo area, sat in the shadows while I prepared to leave with Jack… what did that mean?

Dylan deserved someone who wasn’t like me, wasn’t damaged or broken. Someone normal, like Devyn or Addison, who would be okay waiting at home for their husband/significant other because they had no idea what their spouse actually did for a living.

But that wasn’t exactly true, was it? They both knew now. They’d both seen death and destruction right there on their doorstep and yet, they were remarkably… normal. How did they do that? I knew every dirty secret our lives had to offer, and normalcy wasn’t something that I could do. Why couldn’t I do what they had been able to do?

And why, oh
why
couldn’t I stop thinking about Dylan? Even when I was thinking about other people, it always came back to Dylan. I sat in the car for a few minutes, trying to calm my raging brain. I didn’t know how to do this, how to be in a healthy relationship with a guy or how to feel. I’d kept it easy, simple, but with Dylan, complications had set in even before I realized they were there.

Why is it the lovebirds always have no clue that they’re lovebirds?

Wasn’t that what Jack said? Is that what was wrong here? I was so intent on pushing Dylan away that I couldn’t see that I was already there. If that’s what it was, I wanted to punch Jack in the face. I hated when he was right.

I loved Dylan Urban. I loved him so much I wanted to cry. I slammed my palm against the wheel. “Damn it!” Tingling pain shot through my hand and up my arm.

I really didn’t want to be in love.

I got out of the car and walked back toward the entrance to our underground temporary home. In a few days, we’d be headed back to San Diego for Murphy and Addison’s wedding. I swallowed. I wasn’t prepared for that either. They were going The Murphys instead of Murphy and Addison. Were you still yourself when you were part of a couple?

The elevator took forever. But then it always did. I should have taken the stairs. But when the doors opened on the main floor, Dylan stood there, casually leaning on one side of the doorway. His arms were crossed over his broad chest. My heart jumped, racing like a cheetah chasing prey.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi…” I trailed off and cleared my throat. I tried for nonchalance I didn’t feel. “Did you strike that pose just for me, or do you typically strike sexy poses for no reason in front of random elevators?”

“You think I’m sexy?”

“I don’t think that was ever in question,” I replied.

He chuckled. “If you’re trying to get on my good side, it’s working.”

“We should talk.” At least that much I could say.

“That’s why I’m here.” He sighed, taking my hand. He pulled me from the elevator. “I didn’t think… I thought maybe you weren’t coming back. I talked to Murphy and found out what you were doing. And then, I realized… you might need help when you came back.”

“I’m fine,” I said, but my voice was shaky.

“No, you’re not.” He shook his head, and pulled me into his arms, enveloping me with warmth. I buried my face in his chest, inhaling the sweet scent of his aftershave. I did need this, so much. His lips touched the top of my head, and then he pulled back from me. “How does it feel?”

I frowned. How did it feel? I was still processing it. But the good thing was... I was feeling something. I welcomed it, because the void I’d felt after shooting Jack scared me.

“I’ve been chasing him for so long, so sure that what I was doing was right. But I was slowly killing myself, like you said. But I’m glad I went with my gut, because the situation isn’t at all what it seemed.”

“I don’t care about the situation.” He grumbled. “I care about you. You could have left. You could have gone off on another lonely mission and no one here would have stopped you.”

“I know that.” I swallowed, hoping I could explain this well. “But see… The real truth of the matter is that I have this problem.”

“Do you now?” He leaned in toward me, giving me another deep inhale of that aftershave I loved.

“Yes. I could have left, but I didn’t want to.”

“And why not?”

“Because there’s this stupid SEAL who won’t leave me alone, and he keeps telling me that he loves me.” Dylan stilled, a blush high on his cheeks. I hadn’t thought it possible to make the Dylan Urban, jester extraordinaire, blush. “But the truth is… I didn’t want to go, because I kind of love him too.”

“Just kind of?”

“Maybe more than kind of.”

For what seemed like forever, Dylan regarded me, his dark eyes casing over my face. I felt raw, exposed, vulnerable. I’d put myself out there for the first time, and he wasn’t saying a word.

“You love him?” he finally asked, his voice rough with emotion. I nodded, unable to say anymore. His hand smoothed over my cheek, sliding along my skin to my neck. “For reals?”

“Yep. You’re going to have to step aside for him, I’m afraid,” I whispered hoarsely. “He’s very possessive and doesn’t like to share.”

“I’m okay with that,” he murmured and then he crushed his lips to mine, sealing us together effortlessly. My brain short circuited and I lost all possible thoughts that might have stopped me from being with Dylan. I didn’t want to think. I didn’t want to second guess myself. I loved this man, and I finally was ready to acknowledge it.

~*~*~

Dylan

We barely made it inside Cadence’s room before tearing each other’s clothes off. My shirt went first, then hers. Pants, boots, everything hit the floor and we tumbled to the bed in a mess of limbs. If her bandaged arm was bothering her, she didn’t let on, flipping us so she straddled me. My cock, trapped between us, throbbed with every touch of her skin against it.

Our kisses was hard and intense; our hands wandering over inch of skin we could possibly touch. Her ass was seated on my thighs, her breasts pressed against my chest. I flipped us back over, my fingers sliding up her inner thighs. I wanted to see her come apart. I wanted her to know what love really was. I wanted to show it all to her. I slid my finger along her slit, getting a moaning answer in return.

The more I touched her, the more pliant in my hands became. I slid one finger into her, then two, pumping back and forth. She dropped her head back against the pillow and moaned, so loud I wondered if it echoed down the hall, beyond our closed door. I slid down her body and buried my head between her legs, drawing long strokes up her slit. Her back arched, her fingers gripped my hair as best as she could, considering it was short. I almost wanted to grow it out so she could.

“Oh, Dylan,” she breathed as her climax overtook her. God, she was gorgeous when she came, beautiful and free. My whole being was consumed by desire for this beautiful woman before me. I needed—craved—being inside her. Just the thought of her enveloping me drove me insane with need.

As she came down from wherever I’d sent her, I planted little kisses along her jaw, her neck, the crook between her neck and shoulder. I swept away the little hairs matted to her damp skin, taking the opportunity to caress every inch of her soft body. Pure bliss settled on her face, and a smile appeared as she gazed up at me.

“Is that all you got?” The challenge in her eyes was irresistible.

“Really? You want to start that?” I grabbed her hips and yanked her down, so she fit against my body. She and I both moaned as our pelvises made contact, my cock nestled against her pussy. She writhed against me, which only made my need worse. “Be careful what you initiate.”

“I’m done with careful,” she whispered. “I’m all in.”

In a blur of motion, she had me on my back again, straddling me with my cock nudging against the folds of her pussy. She pressed her hips forward, my cock sliding through the skin between her thighs.

She pumped my dick with one hand, slowly, agonizingly sliding her hand up and down my hard length. She didn’t even waver the motion as she spoke. “When Jack was questioning me, I kept thinking of you.”

I groaned. “
Now
you want to talk.”

“I need you to know.” The vulnerability in her eyes, coupled with the stroking motion of her hand over my dick meant she had complete control over me in that moment, and I didn’t even care. I’d do whatever she wanted in that moment. “It hurt. It hurt a lot, but nothing he did could hurt me more than not having you.”

I paused, confusion becoming clarity. “Are you saying you thought about me hurting you to keep from letting Jack hurt you?”

“It sounds crazy when you say it like that.”

“It sounds crazy no matter how you say it.”

She rolled her eyes. “I love you. I loved you then, when Jack had me strapped to a chair. But I couldn’t comprehend how to love, or how much it would affect me. I’m not sure that I can now.”

I stroked her cheeks, my hands cupping her soft face. “Let me show you how.”

“No, this is my turn.” She angled my cock and sank down on it, slow and torturous. Both of us let out identical groans as she enveloped my shaft down to the base. We started slow, drawing out the little slivers of pleasure that came with the sensual friction of our joining. Time ceased to exist, the world vanished and narrowed to the two of us. Our hips slammed together, over and over, neither one of us knowing where one began and the the other ended.

It seemed like time forgot us as we climbed toward ecstasy and when we fell off the cliff, we fell together, tumbling in love and beautiful rapture.

~*~*~

Cadence

I woke up much later, to a darkened room and silence, except for Dylan’s breathing. Of course, that wasn’t saying much when you were staying in an underground bunker. I turned my body toward the sleeping form next to me. Dylan looked so young when he was sleeping, not that he didn’t when he was awake. Maybe it was more innocence. That was what I loved about him most. Dylan was predictable. Dylan was safe, and that’s what I needed the most.

I pushed off the covers. The darkness was suffocating, it was way too hot, and I had to pee. I stumbled from the bed and into the bathroom.

When I came out, the darkness was worse, since my eyes had adjusted to the light of the other room. I stopped, blinked a few times, and then made my way across the room. I was halfway back to the bed when the lamp light switched on and flooded the room.

I froze, like a rabbit suddenly discovered by a predator, and blinked as my eyes adjusted to the sudden light. It was strangely reminiscent of the night before we’d left San Diego nearly three weeks ago. But unlike all those weeks ago, this time Dylan was smiling. “You running off?”

I shook my head, smiling back at him. “Never.”

He held out a hand toward me. “Come here.”

“Are you ordering me around?” I asked him as I crawled up on the bed, toward him. I swayed my hips as I moved, giving him my best seductive look. One I knew he couldn’t resist.

“Yes, yes I am.” He nodded enthusiastically.

He reached for me, but I smacked away his hand. “You know I don’t take orders well.”