Dusty Britches (54 page)

When they reached the kitchen, Ryder let her feet drop to the floor
yet
still held her tightly against him. She let her hands rest against the strength of his chest, trying to push him away, but not trying as hard as she should have.

“
What is wrong with you?
”
she whispered as his eyes narrowed
.

H
e studied her face intently.
“
Got a bit of devil in me tonight, I suppose,
”
he answered.

“
Apparently,
”
she confirmed.
“
Now…let me go.
”

“
Hm? Let me think,
”
he hummed, frowning as if he were contemplating a large decision. Then, smiling, he shook his head. Dusty held her breath and struggled to resist him as he bent and placed a lingering, moist kiss on her neck.

“
Why do you do this?
”
she asked in a whisper. Her desire to let herself be comfortable in loving fought with her fear in letting her heart surrender to him.

“’
Cause I like to,
”
he told her.
“
And
’
cause you want me to.
”
The tone in his voice was low, affecting her like a
n intoxicating
liquid.

“
I don
’
t,
”
she lied in a whisper as a thrill traveled through her body when he kissed her neck again.

“
Don
’
t lie to me like that, sugar,
”
he chuckled. He took her face between his hands and whispered,
“
Don
’
t lie to me…and don
’
t lie to yourself anymore.
”

“
Stop,
”
she demanded then, taking his face in her hands.

“
Why?
”
he asked.

“B
ecause I want to say something to you,
”
she whispered.

“
Really?
”
he teased.
“
You say things to me all the time.
”

“
Be serious,
”
she told him.

“
I was. But you said,
‘
Stop. I want to say something to you,
’
so I
—”
he teased again.

“
I know why my mama favored you so,
”
she whispered to him. Desperate to distract him, she said the first thing that had come into her mind.

Indeed he was silent for a moment, hav
ing been surprised by what she’
d said.
“
What do you mean?
”

“
You were savin
’
my bacon every time she turned around, weren
’
t you?
”
she asked him.
“
Every time I got myself in a fix, there y
a
were to bail me out.
”
Dusty swallowed the emotion rising in her throat. Ryder was apparently uncomfortable enough with her remarks that he was hushed into silence.
“
I heard her call you my guardian angel once. Do y
a
remember that?
”

Ryder cleared his throat and looked away for a moment.
“
Yeah,
”
he mumbled.
“
You got in more fixes than a kitten in a string factory.
”
He smiled at her for a moment.

“
I did. I did,
”
Dusty agreed, smiling back.
“
She talked about you the day she died, y
a
know,
”
she told him softly. She saw the emotion wash over his face and his jaw clench, signaling his discomfort.

“
What
’
d she say?
”
he asked, and the moisture in his eyes betrayed the deep feelings he
’
d had for Elly Hunter.

Dusty knew she could never tell him everything her mother had said pertaining to Ryder Maddox the day she died. She could never tell him
she’d
sat next to her mother
’
s bed, holding her hand as her mother told her to never, never marry someone unless his character was as magnificent as Ryder Maddox
’
s had been. That her mother told her, in fact, she wouldn
’
t be surprised if Ryder returned one day when Dusty was older to pick up where he
’
d left off protecting her and caring for her. Sh
e couldn’t tell him all of it—b
ut she would tell him the rest.

“
She said,
”
Dusty began in a whisper,
“
that Ryder Maddox was as fine a young man as was ever born on earth.
”
Dusty
’
s heart ached for his in that moment. The tears in his eyes told her the fine young man of so long ago had carried her mother in a special place in his heart as well.
“
She said she missed you and would
’
ve liked to have had you with her before she went.
”
Ryder looked away for a moment, brushing angrily at a tear that escaped and traveled to his chin.
“
And I know that she
’
d be disappointed in me if I didn
’
t thank you for not letting me burn alive the night Grandpa
’
s barn burned.
”

He released a nervous chuckle and looked back to her, whispering,
“
You already thanked me. Th
at night—r
emember?
”

“
Yes, but…I want to thank you now. For every time you pulled me out of a tight spot,
”
she told him.

He smiled.
“
I drug you in here to pull you into a tight spot…and look where it got me. All mushed up like some
—”

“
Then go ahead,
”
Dusty interrupted him.

Her heart began to pound wildly. What was she doing? What was she saying? Resisting him would be her only survival! Had she suddenly become completely bent on self-destruction?

“
Go ahead and what?
”
he asked, frowning his familiar puzzled frown.

“
Pull me into a tight spot,
”
she mumbled, casting her
gaze down suddenly—
humiliated at her brazen flirting.

He quirked an eyebrow.
“
You tellin
’
me you
’
re gonna let
—”

“
Not if you
’
re gonna keep talkin
’
about it,
”
she grumbled, as her grip on a thread of courage and hope began to slip away.

“
Then let
’
s stop talkin
’
, sugar.
”

The familiar grin of mischief spread across his lips. As he cupped her chin tenderly in his capable hand, Dusty held her breath. Oh, how she loved the way he held her face for a moment as he began kissing her! The way he
’
d take her face between his hands and caress her cheek or cup her chin the way he was doing now, always, always letting his hand travel down over her throat as he deepened the kiss before taking her in his arms. As his kiss intensified, his arms encircling her body and pulling her close, Dusty
could not keep
an audible sigh of delight
from
escap
ing
her lungs
—
let her own tentative pair of hands rest on his stomach. He broke their kiss for a moment
,
and she felt his smile against her mouth.

“
I like that,
”
he whispered,
“
when y
a
touch me.
”

An instant before Dusty
’
s resolve to resist him could take control of her again, Dusty leaned forward and captured his mouth, kissing him almost fully
—almost
the way she
’
d always dreamed of having the courage to kiss him. His response was immediate. He embraced her even more tightly and rather fell back against the wall behind him as the passion
detonating between them rose to a fury—a fury
that almost scared Dusty.
Her skin tingled at his touch,
for she
’
d never been lost in his embrace while wearing such thin clothing. The absence of her corset allowed her to feel more definitely the warmth and strength of his arms and hands as he held her.
S
he could not pull herself from him! Why should she?
It was where she wanted to be—l
ocked in his arms, melting in the heat
radiated by his powerful body—
delirious from his impeccable kiss! Then she grimaced, gasped slightly
,
and pulled away from him as the vision of being fourteen a
nd seeing him for the last time—
the pain of that moment
—
stabbed at her heart again
,
intruding like a violent and rapidly spreading disease.

Ryder knew her well. It was all too evident by the way he closed his eyes, clenched his jaw tightly shut for a moment
,
and then sighed
with disappointment. “Don’t,” he breathed.

She squirmed out of his arms
,
but he did not force her to stay
—
simply kept hold of one of her hands.

“
It
’
s late,
”
she mumbled, looking about nervously.

“
Don
’
t do this, Dusty,
”
he whispered.

“
I
’
ve got to get to bed. I
’
m done in,
”
she told him, smiling and pulling her hand from his.
“
This can
’
t happen again,
”
she told him
. T
urning, she hurried down the hallway toward her room.

Escape! It was her only hope! She
’
d gone too
far—let herself feel too much—l
et h
er guard against him down. N
ow she wondered if it w
ere
n
’
t, indeed, too late to save herself. As she crawled into her bed, her body still tingling with having been in his arms, her lips still moist with their kisses
,
she tried desperately to cling to her broken heart.
Yet
it was leaving her. In a moment of panic
,
she realized it was leaving her. She must hang onto it! She must! It was the only way to save it from happening again!

Ryder inhaled and let out a long, frustrated breath to try to ca
lm his varying emotions. T
urning, he walked back into the room where the floor was lined with his snoring, worn
-
out fellow cowboys. He held his breath for a moment and then sighed and smiled with relief as he saw it was Feller who stood leaning ag
ainst the wall on one shoulder—
a knowing grin on his face as he stood there in nothing but his soot-covered trousers.

“
What y
a
been up to, boy?
”
Feller asked quietly.

“
No good, as usual,
”
Ryder chuckled, running his fingers through his smoke-scented hair.

“
Oh, I think you
’
re doin
’
fine,
”
Feller grinned.

Ryder raised an eyebrow and grinned proudly.
“
Think so?
”