DUBIOUS (33 page)

We’d been sitting in Jamie’s living room for about an hour sipping cognac and listening to music. I was mellow and feeling fine, even though he’d shown his ass at the club. “So where’s this surprise you promised me?”

“
Ah, patience my brother patience.”

I was about done with being patient. I was ready to get me some dick, but I didn’t want to beg for it. I knew that’s what he had on his mind. Why else would he ask me to come back to his house? Hell, we could have stayed at the club and gotten drunk. “Don’t you have to go to work in the morning?”

He shook his head. “Naw, I took the day ’cause I knew I would be hanging out with you.”

“
Damn, dawg, must be nice to have it like that.”

“
Membership has its privileges.” He laughed.

His joke wasn’t funny, but his voice was. He was trying to imitate those white folks they always have on the
American Express
commercials advertising all of those lavish resorts, fancy cars, and expensive restaurants that the average brother can only dream about. I chuckled in spite of myself.

The doorbell rang.

“
I’ll bet this is your surprise.” He wet his lips.

“
My surprise rings a doorbell? I told you, man, I don’t like surprises.”

“
You’ll like this one.” He staggered to the door and opened it without even looking through the peephole. The door blocked my surprise. I was getting anxious. I could not imagine what or who was behind the door. I sat up in the chair putting my feet on the floor instead of the table. I smoothed down my shirt and ran my hand over my goatee.

“
Randy my man, meet Suki.” Jamie stood to the side and revealed a short Asian woman. She was less than five feet tall with long hair that flowed past her butt. She wore a black halter top that exposed her double Ds and some hoochie painted-on shorts that barely concealed her assets.

“
Hi, darling,” Suki drawled. She sauntered into the room and ran her fingertip down the side of my face.

My teeth felt chilly. My mouth was hanging open with spit pooling in the middle. What kind of game was Jamie playing now? Was I going to play along? “Uh … hi.” I was uncomfortable with her fingers roaming my body.

Was Jamie’s plan to do this woman together? Shit, why else would she come to his apartment this late at night if that weren’t the plan? I’d never had a threesome and wasn’t sure if I’d be able to perform. This was not one of my fantasies. So many thoughts were running through my brain. I reached for my drink.

“
Yo, man, what you think?” He patted Suki on the ass.

“
Uh ... she’s very pretty.”

“
Hey, don’t talk about me like I’m not here.” Suki pouted. She took my drink and drained it.

Shit, now I would need another glass
. I didn’t know where her lips had been before she walked through the door. I started to get mad at Jamie. I was still trying to deal with my feelings about sleeping with a man and now he wanted me to sleep with a woman. “Sorry,” I mumbled. “You’re very pretty.”

“
I think you’re handsome, too.” She kissed me on the lips.

I could feel her tongue pressing against my lips, but I refused to open my mouth. I was tipsy, but I was far from drunk.

Jamie placed another drink in my hand and poured some liquid fire into her glass. Her head bobbed in appreciation. Jamie palmed her ass; she sighed and wiggled her hips against his open hand. I could see his dick pressed against his zipper. My own dick even started to swell. Sadly, it wasn’t Suki who was causing this reaction. It was Jamie. He had opened up his shirt and his chest hairs were peeking out.

“
Suki and I are old friends. Aren’t we, sweetheart?” He leaned down and kissed her.

Since she was standing to the right of me, he leaned over me to get at her. I could smell his cologne. He kissed her deeper than I had. She pressed her boobs up against my shoulder. The temperature in the room was rising. I wished I could say it was because of her but it wasn’t. Suki’s hand fell into my lap. She was looking for my dick. I slouch down in the chair and eased my legs open. She continued to kiss Jamie as she stroked me through my jeans. I closed my eyes and pretended her small, petite hand was larger and hairy. My dick strained to burst free.

Jamie pulled away from the kiss and stood up. I could feel his heat as he walked away, leaving me to Suki.
Shit, what the hell do I do now? Should I grab her tits? Pull her down into my lap and shove my tongue in her mouth? Am I supposed to take off her clothes? Why the hell is Jamie doing this to me?

“
Lighten up, Bro, I can hear you thinking all the way over here. Suki, my man ain’t feeling comfortable. Look at his white knuckles. Make him feel comfortable. Show him you don’t bite.” Jamie dimmed the lights.

I took this opportunity to finish my drink. My head was swimming. Suki walked to the center of the room. Her-four inch heels clicked against the hardwood floor as she spun in a slow circle. She was giving a show designed to entice the average man, but it wasn’t doing shit for me.

She untied her top and it dropped under her chest. Gravity should have made her tits sag, but them bad boys pointed straight out at me. Silver hoops the size of quarters pierced her nipples. She pulled them slightly as she posed before us with her legs slightly apart. She threw her hair back and allowed it to roll on her shoulders as if she were in ecstasy. Turning again, she bent over and exposed her cheeks to me. Her hair dragged on the floor and covered her face as she gazed at me through her legs. Her ass excited me.

Jamie was tossing back the booze and swaying on his feet to the music. I wanted to dance with him. I wanted to feel his hard body pressed against mine. My pants cut off the circulation in my dick. Pleasure turned to pain. I went over to the bar to fix myself another drink. Standing removed the pressure in my pants, allowing me to breathe. I was okay until Jamie pressed his body against my back. I tried to stifle the moan that slipped out my mouth, but Suki heard it.

“
Oh, so you like dick, too? I ain’t mad at you, Daddy.” She dropped to her knees and unbuckled my pants. With one tug the buckle hit the floor and bounced; with the other hand she pulled down my pants and my dick sprang to life. Jamie continued to grind on my naked ass as Suki took my dick into her mouth. She wiggled out of her shorts never losing a beat.

“
Ahhh …” I closed my eyes enjoying the hot, wetness of her mouth.

Jamie rubbed his hands over my chest as I pressed back against him. The only thing that would make this moment more enjoyable would be for him to stick his hard dick up my ass.

My dick felt like a machine gun: locked, loaded, and ready to fire. I don’t know when Jamie took off his pants, but there was no mistaking the hard meat pressing between my cheeks. I leaned into the bar, jutting my ass in the air as Suki swallowed my dick. I could feel her tonsils rubbing against my shaft. As Jamie plunged deep inside of me, I came with the force of a race horse.

Suki tried to pull up but couldn’t because I had her trapped against the bar. To her credit, she took it all without choking or gagging. Jamie continued to pound me from behind. He swung me around and my dick was ripped from Suki’s mouth, her teeth scraped against my flesh. Jamie used his body to guide me over to the sofa. I had gotten mine, but he wanted his. Suki followed Jamie’s lead and beat us to the sofa. She bent over the sofa and guided my erect dick into her pussy. I pounded that pussy as if my life had depended on it.

“
Fuck that pussy,” Suki screamed as she pushed back against my dick and Jamie slammed into my ass.

We were a human sandwich and I loved it. Her pussy had no face, but it felt good as shit. I pictured Jamie’s face as I fucked the shit out of her. With one hand on her ass and the other clutching Jamie’s ass, we came together. I grunted in pleasure as Jamie bit me on the neck and we trembled in satisfaction.

Jamie pulled out first. I didn’t realize how tightly he was gripping me until he let me go. I fell forward smashing Suki into the sofa in the process.

“
Get up damnit,” Suki yelled in a muffled voice.

I must have blanked out for a second. Jamie pulled me from behind, freeing her.

“
Sorry.” My face heated up. My pants were still around my ankles and my dick was dripping onto his white carpet. Pulling up my pants, I fell onto the sofa exhausted.

“
Some surprise, eh?” Jamie had a silly grin on his face.

“
Yeah.” I was still catching my breath.

Suki held out her hand and Jamie stuffed some bills in it. Blowing me a kiss, she walked out the door.

Ain’t that a bitch? I fucked my first prostitute . . . without a condom.

CHAPTER 38

I was jolted from my sleep when I realized that Sherman had me hostage in his arms. Sunlight crept in the room.

I wanted to relax and enjoy the comfort but visions of the night before replayed in my head with crystal clarity and sound. I felt dirty even though I had nothing to hide.

Sherman said, “I know you are not sleep. Why don’t you talk to me?”

My shoulders stiffened as I tried to pretend like I didn’t hear him.

“
Do I have to continue staring at your back? Am I that hard on your eyes?” He let out a sigh, which tore at my heart.

He didn’t deserve this silent treatment. Sherman had been nothing but nice to me. How could I make him understand I wasn’t hiding from him but hiding from myself? Dejectedly, I turned over but still could not meet his eyes.

“
That’s better. I was beginning to think I slept with a mannequin all night.”

If my heart wasn’t so heavy, I might have laughed, but I couldn’t even manage a smirk. Tears welled in my eyes, and I was powerless to stop them.

“
Hey now, I’m sorry. I won’t tell anymore bad jokes.” He reached for me, pulling me into his arms. He kissed my forehead, gently rocking me.

“
I’m sorry. It’s not you, it’s me, Sherman.”

“
Can I help?”

“
It’s complicated,” I said.

“
If you don’t want to talk about it, I guess I can live with that. Can we talk about us?”

“
Us?”

“
Yeah, us. I told you before when I see something I want, I go after it. I want you.”

I reached up and touched his cheeks. His eyes were sincere. I truly believed him when he said he wanted me. My mind, however, told me that I must come clean before there can be any us. “Sherman, you are a good man. I don’t want to hurt you, and more important, I don’t want to get hurt either.”

“
I have no intention of hurting you.”

“
Shush, let me finish. I’m not a whole woman. I’m broken, and I don’t know how to fix it. My ex-husband hurt me in ways that I never thought would be possible. I don’t know if I am capable of ever loving again.”

“
I can respect that, but would you just give us a chance to find out? There is nothing you could say or do that will make me turn my back on you. Can we take this thing one day at a time?” He wiped another tear from my eye and kissed me gently.

“
We can try.”

* * *

After breakfast, Sherman and I made love. I felt like his dick was talking to me with each stroke, and my pussy had given him the answers that my mouth wouldn’t say. We moved from the bed to the shower.

“
I love this bathroom.” I had fallen in love with it the first time I’d seen it.

“
Thanks, baby. Now bring that pretty ass over here so we can take a shower.”

I grabbed his hand and followed him into the shower. It was so big it couldn’t even be called a shower. He pulled me into the center and adjusted the spray so that it wouldn’t get into my eyes. Since he was much taller, he could have easily drowned me in all that water. We bathed each other several times before we left this warm haven. Every time I thought we were done, his dick would find its way back inside of me, but I wasn’t one to complain. I could easily fall in love with the fine, gentle brother.

Sherman gave me a pair of running shorts and a tee shirt to put on.

I was grateful because I would have hated to put on the clothes I’d worn from the night before. My skin felt so soft, I didn’t even need lotion. “Was there lotion in the water?”

“
Something like that. Do you like it?”

“
Oh, it’s alright.” I couldn’t even say that shit with a straight face. I was in love with it. I couldn’t wait to take another shower.

Sherman didn’t have anything to fit my feet. I was kind of glad because if he had whipped out a pair of tennis shoes, I would have taken him to be the player that I initially thought he was. Instead he gave me his house shoes, which were way too big but covered my feet until we got to Lennox Mall.

I waited in the car while he ran in and bought me a pair of tennis shoes. A girl could get used to this type of treatment.

We strolled through the mall laughing and cutting up. This was something I’d never done before, not even with my girlfriends. Number one, I hated shopping just for the sake of doing it. When I went, I had an agenda to swoop in and out. Having Sherman with me made it different. He wanted me to model every outfit I had picked out. He modeled outfits for me that I thought would look nice on him. Randy and I used to shop together. I was beginning to get a glimpse of what a real relationship was supposed to be like. Not the mirage that I had held on to for years without a clue.