DUBIOUS (19 page)

“
Hey sweetie,” she said with her irritating voice.

“
Hi.” That wasn’t what I really wanted to say.

“
You were in to see the big boss?”

“
Yeah.”

“
He called me too. Something important is about to happen, I can feel it.”

“
Oh, okay.” I was on the verge of telling her fat ass off. Thankfully the elevator came before I could say anything else to her. In hindsight, I should have said something about her sneaky-ass assistant, but I was sure the time would come when I would get the opportunity to deal with that heifer, too.

* * *

“
How did it go?” Talisa asked when I strolled pass her desk.

“
Come on in.” I held the door open to my office so she could come in and I could shut the door. “I basically told him I didn’t appreciate her butting her nose into my case and that the client was sick of her. He immediately called her to his office.”

“
I’d give my left tit to be in that office right now,” she said as she sat down.

“
You and I both know she’s in there lying her ass off.”

“
Well, we can’t worry about that now. You’ve got to be in court in about thirty minutes. You’ve got that patent infringement case going.”

“
This one will be a piece of cake. I have the cease and desist order that was filed and the consumer report showing that they violated the order. We should be in and out of court in very little time. What else is on the schedule?” I was in front of the window checking out the skyline.

“
By some miracle you are free. You can start working on the Jennings file. I put it on your credenza.”

I followed her pointed finger to the files. “Oh, you got them back from Frick and Frack?”

“
Yeah, they weren’t happy about it, but I got them. Let’s just hope they didn’t take anything from them.”

“
Schedule a meeting with Mr. Jennings so we can discuss some particulars.”

“
When do you want to see him?”

“
Is my morning clear?”

“
You have a ten o’clock and a twelve o’clock, but the rest of the day is free.”

“
Schedule him for two o’clock, that way I can go over his file.”

“
Fine. Knock them dead in court.” She winked

“
Oh, one more thing: Gary approved the funding for your classes.”

Talisa did not say anything, but I could tell by the tears that welled up in her eyes she was happy about it. I was glad I was able to help her in that way.

CHAPTER 21

It had been a month and a half since I stopped by Felicia’s office. I wanted her to be as happy for me as I was. Obviously, her pain would not allow her to see beyond the hurt I had caused her. Perhaps, if I had understood the changes I was going through, I could have explained them to her. But I was just as clueless as she was. However, I had very little time to focus on that.

The study groups I had enrolled in were kicking my ass. Surprisingly, I had retained most of the principals that I had been taught. So my primary focus was boning up for the test, which I was due to take at the end of the week. I was feeling hopeful because one of my counselors had offered me a job if I did well on the test.

While it was never my intention to work for someone else, I could use the job as a stepping stone to buildup my own clientele. From there, I could see where life would lead me. Aside from that, I was lonely as hell. I toyed with the idea of getting another dog, but I wouldn’t be able to do that until I had a place of my own. Sleeping on the sofa bed was wearing on my freaking nerves, but beggers couldn’t be choosy.

My biggest challenge had come from one of my classmates, Jamie. He was pushing me to do more than just pass the test; he wanted us to ace it. Jamie was six foot tall with well-defined muscles and the brightest smile I’d ever seen. He also had bright, clear eyes that danced when he allowed his dimples to show. He had volunteered to be my partner. I didn’t object, because he had taken the test before and knew exactly what to expect.

On his first time, Jamie passed the test but he wanted to retake it to boost his score. We had agreed to meet twice a week on Wednesdays and Fridays. This worked fine for the first month until I started to become sexually attracted to him. To my knowledge, he was strictly pussy whipped; and, for the most part, so am I. But I could not understand the fantasies I was having about him.

By nature, Jamie was a touchy feelie kind of guy. He liked to greet me with a dap and a hug. When our sessions were going good, he would occasionally put his hand on my knee. I think he was oblivious to the anguish that he was causing me, so I tried to stay as far away from him as possible during our sessions. On those days, he would walk around as he lectured and periodically place his arm around my shoulder. My mind was in turmoil. I wanted to snatch him over the couch and into my lap and kiss those full lips of his.

The defining moment that had changed our relationship happened the night before the exam.

“
Randy,” Jamie said, “we’ve been working real hard. To be honest, I think we’re both ready. What do you say if we knock off early and go have a few drinks?”

“
Uh … sure. I could use a shot or two. These problems are just swirling in my head. Where do you want to go?” I looked at him but found myself staring at his lips.

“
Someplace close. The last thing we need to do is get picked up for DUI the night before our big test.”

“
There’s a bar called Seasons not far from here that serves a mean drink. We can even get a bite to eat, too,” I said.

“
Sounds like a plan. Can we go like this?” He touched the fabric of my jeans.

We were both dressed in jeans, but since we weren’t wearing tennis shoes I was sure we would be able to get in. “Yeah, we’ll be fine. Since I know where it is, I’ll drive.”

I locked up the apartment and we headed for my truck. Three minutes later, we were in traffic. He flipped the dial on my satellite radio and found a station that was only playing songs by the late Gerald Levert. That wasn’t the best choice of music for my mood, but I didn’t complain.

This was the first time Jamie and I had been out socially, so I really didn’t know much about him and vise versa.

“
Hey, man, you ever been married?” he said as if he was a mind reader.

“
Huh? Oh yeah, I was married for thirteen years. We just got a divorce.”

“
Aw, sorry to hear that, dawg.”

“
It happens.” I was thankful he didn’t ask what had happened. “How about you?”

He shook his head. “Naw, haven’t found the right one yet.”

“
Marriage ain’t no joke, so you’re right to take your time.”

“
Tell that to my momma. She is bugging the shit out of me about grandchildren.”

Laughing out loud, I said, “I think all mommas are the same. We tried to have kids; it just didn’t happen. Since things turned out the way they did, I’m kinda glad it didn’t happen.” I lied. I didn’t want kids and Felicia had known it. For some reason I didn’t want Jaime to know I wasn’t the fatherly type.

“
You’re still young yet. You can still have a whole mess of children,” he replied.

“
And you, too.” I pulled into the busy parking lot. I’d forgotten how busy this place could be. I used the valet ’cause I didn’t feel like riding around in circles looking for a parking spot.

***

We found seats in the room with all the televisions. Come to find out, both of us were sports buffs.

“
So other than studying for this damn test, what do you like to do in your spare time?” I asked.

“
I’m a simple man. I like to shoot hoops, watch movies, and do a little dancing. Believe it or not, I love to read,” Jamie replied.

“
Read? I love to read, too. Who are some of your favorites?” I knew I could learn something about him by his choice of reading material.

“
Don’t laugh, man, but I love me some Carl Weber, Travis Hunter, Zane, and E. Lynn Harris.”

“
I can’t laugh ’cause I’ve read all those cats, too. Especially Zane, that brother is a stone-cold freak.” Now I knew Jamie had a little freak in him.

“
Hey, man, I hate to bust your bubble, but Zane is a woman. I saw a picture of her in a magazine.”

“
Word?” I couldn’t believe a woman was putting it down like that.

“
Yeah, blew me away, too.”

“
That’s one freaky chick,” I said.

“
You ain’t lying. I tell you what, I spent a many of a day in the bathroom jacking off to her shit.”

“
You ain’t alone.”

Our drinks arrived, so we gave the conversation a little break. My heart was beating really fast. I could not understand the feelings I was experiencing. Hell, if I didn’t know any better, I would have sworn that I was falling in love with Jamie. I was feeling things for him that I hadn’t felt for my own wife.
How do I say that to another man without having him knock me the fuck out?

“
Earth to Randy!” Jamie waved his hands in my face. “Where you at, man? It’s like you left the room.”

“
I was thinking about some other books I like.”

“
Have you ever thought about writing?” He leaned back and threaded his fingers behind his head.

“
Naw, my grammar sucks. And I don’t believe I can sit still long enough to finish anything.”

“
I’ve tried it, but I haven’t shown it to anybody.”

“
Do you think I could see it someday?” I said.

“
We’ll see.”

This wasn’t an answer I wanted, but I would take what I could get. I wanted to see what was inside Jamie’s head, and I knew that writing was the purest form of thought patterns.

He said, “Have you given any thought to what you are going to do once you pass the exam tomorrow?”

“
Hit the pavement and try to find a job.”

“
I don’t know if I told you, but my father has a firm. He is always looking for new talent. I told him about you, and he would love to meet you.”

“
You would do that for me?” I scratched my head trying to figure out where this was going.

“
Sure, why not?” He shrugged.

“
I don’t know what to say.”

“
Just pass the test, and we’ll take it from there.”

“
Are you going to work there?”

“
Naw, I could not work for my father. He hooked me up with a friend of his. I’m all good.”

This was even better than I had expected. I didn’t think I could handle working around Jamie all day long. It was hard enough to concentrate on the books with him around. I didn’t need the added pressure of trying to impress a new boss.

We talked small talk until we finished our food. Then we just chilled out over cocktails.

“
So tell me, Randy, what makes you tick? Sometimes you appear so distant.”

“
I’ve got a lot of shit on my mind.”

“
I’m a good listener.”

“
Maybe another time, another place.”

We talked awhile longer then called it a night. After we paid the check, we got up to leave.

All of a sudden Jamie said, “Hey, it’s early yet. You want to hit the books one more time? I only live a few blocks from here.”

I thought over his request. I wasn’t ready to go home to an empty place, and I could not afford to pass up another opportunity to hit the books. “Sure, but I don’t want to stay out too late ’cause the test starts early.”

“
Tell me about it.”

I drove him back to my apartment to get his car. I ran inside and grabbed my books. I follow behind him to his condo. Sure enough, it wasn’t far from the restaurant.

His apartment was all male: Leather and nude artwork decorated the apartment; his floors were hardwood with scatter rugs throughout; and he had a small bar in the corner. He invited me to fix myself a drink while he retrieved his study tools. He surprised me when he brought out a small bulletin board that had key areas of concern already written on it.

“
Damn, you are serious, aren’t you?” I said while reading the information on the board.

“
Shit, this test ain’t cheap. I don’t plan to take it again. I study this every night before I go to bed.”

I put my eyes on him. “Why didn’t you suggest this to me?”

“
I didn’t want you to think I was anal.” He laughed at his own joke, which I didn’t find funny.

Oddly enough, this bulletin board did more for me than all the books we had been sweating over.

* * *

Forty-five minutes later, I looked at my watch and realized that I needed to leave. It was after nine, and it was time for me to hit the bed. I stood up, stretching.

“
You leaving?”

“
Yeah, I want to be fresh in the morning.”

“
I thought you wanted to read some of the things that I’d written.” He gave me a look that almost caused my dick to get hard.