Drive Me Sane (12 page)

His head dropped to hers. He pulled her in tight. “We aren’t arguing. I’m just pissed. Pissed that my future was determined because of a missed phone call.”

When he put it like that, it didn’t seem fair. She wondered how differently things might have been, had she been there when he called. She would have realized how difficult she’d been and then apologized for it and they would have made up. There was a good possibility that with Tyler still in the picture, she and Rollins wouldn’t have grown as close as they had. If she’d had Tyler to lean on, she wouldn’t have relied so much on Rollins and then maybe things would be different for him too. So much was contingent on that one missed phone call. It was as if her life had changed in that very moment.

“Hey,” Tyler said, thumbing tears out of her eyes that she didn’t know were there. “It’s all right. I just …”

He was as lost for words as she. He circled his arms around her and they stood, taking the quiet of the room in, both struggling with what to say next.

“I thought you would come back,” he finally let out.

“What do you mean?”

“I never expected not to hear from you again.”

She blinked, trying to keep the tears at bay. “You told me it was over.”

“Actually.” He ran his finger over her bottom lip. “I said maybe we both needed a break.”

“Same thing.”

“Not really, but it doesn’t matter because I never meant it.”

“What did you mean to happen, then?”

“Honestly?” He let out a sigh. “I thought you’d fight for me. For us.”

She laughed. “So you broke up with me thinking I’d come running back to you? That’s a little pretentious, don’t you think?”

“No. I thought you’d at least give me a piece of your mind, though, and then it would just work itself out like it always had before.”

How many times she’d thought about doing just that. Writing a letter or giving a call, but she could never put the words to paper or force herself to pick up the phone. It was as if the idea of fighting in a war drained her desire to fight for anything else. “My mind was already thousands of miles away. I was dealing with what I would be faced with over there. I didn’t have the strength to fight for you.”

“I know,” he said, his face dipping down for a kiss. “I realize that now, and I’m sorry. I should have fought harder for you.”

Sera looked on hesitantly as Tyler hitched Roy’s boat to his truck. Her uncle had some peculiarities; his lawn and his boat were two of them. She didn’t think Roy would approve of them taking the boat out and she really didn’t want to start off on his bad side when he got back from Florida if something should happen.

“Tyler, I really don’t think this is a good idea.”

He simply gave her a look that that implied she was raining on his parade. He’d woken up excited about fishing that morning. She was thrilled with the idea too—that was, until she realized he planned to take the boat.

“You know how he is with his boat.”

“Yeah, I know.” He ignored her warnings, continuing to secure the boat to his truck.

“You should call him.”

“Sera, it’s okay. Using his boat is one of the perks that comes along with being his stepson.”

Climbing in the truck, she had nothing more to say. Tyler started the thunderous motor, roaring the engine to life. The sound was completely out of place in the quietness of the holler, yet she paid little attention as the idea of Roy and Tyler now related—although not by blood—seemed even more awkward.

Finally as they maneuvered down the gravel road, she said, “You know that makes us step-cousins, don’t you?” She cocked her head and smiled, waiting to see what he might say in return.

Giving a cheesy grin, he replied, “Kissing cousins?”

“That’s gross,” she threw back.

“Well, we are in Kentucky.”

She wrinkled her nose at the thought. “Kind of weird, though, isn’t it? I mean your mom and him?”

“Not really. They spent a lot of time together because of us. It doesn’t surprise me. I saw it coming.”

Roy was still on her mind when they got out onto the water. Her uncle, even with his gruff stance on life, and oddities, was the kindest soul she’d ever met. He was the only father figure she’d ever known. Yet he’d been so much more than that. Some people had single moms or dads. She had a single uncle, whom she was certain had saved her from a life destined for destruction.

“I’m glad they have each other,” she said, happy that Diana appreciated her uncle’s quirks.

“Huh?” Tyler asked as he cast his line deep out into the lake.

“Your mom and Roy … I’m glad they’re together.”

• • •

Tyler craned his neck to look back at Sera. Perched up on the bench seat at the back of the boat, she showed off her trim arms with an orange tank top, which she’d rolled up, allowing the sun to reflect off the five inches of golden skin just below her breast to the edge of her hips. For a moment, he forgot about what he was doing. The woman was driving him insane. Not only emotionally, but physically too. He thought more than once last night about finding an excuse to run into town to buy protection. Having to sleep next to her with the memory of their encounter from earlier in the day still on his mind tormented him in every imaginable way. He was thick with need when they slipped into bed and then had woken in the same manner that morning. If their bodies met again like they had while washing his truck, he wasn’t sure he’d have the willpower to pull back if she was willing to go further. If it did happen, he wanted to be prepared for it, which was why he was running by the store on the way home.

“I mean, I don’t want him to be alone for the rest of his life.”

He continued to stare, not paying much attention to what she said. Long strands of hair wisped around her face, and her hand smoothed them back only for it to happen again. With one leg bent up toward the sky and the other stretched out straight, she looked perfectly happy.

“And I like your mom. She was good to me, kind of like having another mom in a way.”

He really wanted to cover her body with his and to smother her obsessive chatter away with a kiss.

“Tyler, are you even listening to anything I’m saying?”

The high-pitched sound of her voice directed his attention from her legs to her face, which was staring prudently at him.

He chuckled. “Not really. You’re breaking the rules. Remember? Besides, we’re supposed to be fishing, not flapping our jaws.”

She stuck her tongue out and stood, baiting her hook. “How am I breaking the rules?”

“We agreed not to talk about anything bad or in the past today. It’s supposed to be a good day.”

“Roy and your mom are in the present, not the past.”

She had him. In more ways than one. Sliding over, he leaned in, nuzzling her neck with his mouth. “You’re right. No rules broken, you win.”

“What do I win?” She laughed.

“This.” He kissed her. Hard. Unrelentingly and feverously. He poured every kiss he’d missed the last three years into it, working their mouths together, tangling his fingers through her hair as he did.

“I like winning,” she said, smiling when he pulled back.

• • •

By late afternoon, they’d caught at least a dozen fish between them. Sera hid a mischievous grin every time she pulled one in bigger than Tyler’s. It was an unspoken challenge of who could outdo the other and one that they both took seriously. That was, until she looked over and found him staring intently off into the water waiting for a tug on his line. His determined stance made her lose interest in the game. She put down her pole and sat balled up on the seat, content to watch him for the rest of the day.

The sheer sunlight cast a pink glow across his chest, contrasting the barely visible white line that peeked out from the khaki shorts riding low on his waist. He’d regret not wearing sunscreen tomorrow, but the bronzing he would receive as a result would probably help even out the two tones on his arms. Not that it mattered to her. She liked him just as he was.

She liked all of him, not just his looks. His humble personality was equally attractive as the side of him that never faltered in making her laugh. In so many ways he was still the same Tyler that she’d fallen in love with all those years ago. Yet in many ways he’d changed too. She hated to say that he’d grown a temper, but he had, in a good kind of way. No longer was he the passive boy who never wanted to fight. He’d matured into a man who didn’t settle for anything less than what he wanted—and he’d made it clear he wanted her. Or at least a chance to see if they still had any kind of future together. She’d love nothing more than to see that happen, but she also had worries of living up to the woman he remembered. Because like him, she knew she’d changed too.

“Like what you see?”

His sexy drawl forced her eyes back up to his face. She grinned at the idea of being caught ogling him. “Of course.”

Reeling in his line, he set it aside and took a seat next to her, pulling her close when he stretched out and crossed his ankles. Basking in the warmth of the day, they sat like that for a long time, enjoying the soft rock of the boat, with neither saying anything. It was a comfortable silence, unlike those that plagued them just a few days ago. For the first time in months, she felt completely relaxed. There wasn’t any pressure to think about getting her life together or worries that something might go wrong. It was just her and Tyler and nothing else but the afternoon sun.

“I’ve missed this,” Tyler said after a few moments.

Sucking in a breath of fresh air, she turned her head up toward the sky. “Me too. I can’t remember the last time I went fishing.” She considered when Tyler’s last time fishing might have been, wondered how often he really made time for himself.

Tyler imitated her actions, looking up into the sunlight, then leaned in, nudging her shoulder. “I’m not just talking about fishing. The peace and quiet and being here with you.” Moving his hand through her hair, he turned down to nuzzle her face her again. “I’ve missed you, Sera. I mean, really missed you. I know we already talked about what happened, but just because we weren’t together didn’t mean that I wasn’t thinking about you. ’Cause I did, every day.”

She lifted her head, trying not to get caught up in the swell of emotions swirling through the air. Shading her eyes, she answered back, “I missed you too. But …” She leaned back into his embrace “I think you need to make more time for yourself.”

“That’s kind of hard to do right now.”

“What’s so hard about it?”

“When you have responsibilities, you have to take care of them.”

“Maybe you should cut back on your responsibilities, then.”

“Again, that’s easier said than done, sweetheart.”

“I don’t see that it is.”

“It is when I have people telling me I need to go here or go there. I can’t just say no.”

“Then tell the
people
that you need to relax.”

“Somehow I don’t think they’d quite understand. It’s a business. It’s about making money.”

She straightened, pulling a bent knee into the seat. “Aren’t you the boss, though?”

He laughed. “Sort of … not really. I may not be an employee per se, but I still have people who are in charge of my career who I have to answer to.”

“But don’t you choose those people? I mean your manager, publicist, everyone else. You hire them, right?”

“I do.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“They do what’s best for me and I have to trust them and do what they say.”

Seeing they were talking in circles, she let out a sigh, then asked, “Can I ask you something?

“Sure.”

“Did you start singing for the money?”

“You know I didn’t.”

“Then why is it important to push yourself past the point of exhaustion just to make a dollar?”

“It’s not about the money.”

“Then what’s it about?”

“Letting people down and not giving my all to those that believed in me.”

“So it’s the people responsible for your career that you’re worried about?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I think you need to find new people, then. Whether they opened up doors for you or not, you need someone who understands what’s important to you. Killing yourself isn’t important.”

He laughed again. “Maybe I need you in charge of my career.”

“Oh no,” she said. “That would be a disaster.”

“All right, well then, let me ask you something.”

“What?”

“If you hadn’t gone into the army, what would you have done?”

“Honestly?”

“Of course.”

“Probably worked at Merv’s until your career took off, then gone wherever you were at.”

It was a moment before he responded and she worried maybe she’d fallen back into the ease of their relationship too easily. She was starting to talk without weighing her words and found herself saying things that a week and a half ago she never would have thought about saying.

Then he asked, “Would you consider it now?”

Startled with the question, she looked away, but didn’t hesitate to answer. “I can’t right now, Tyler.”

“Why not?”

“Because I have too much going on.”

“Whether you’re here or with me, that’s not going to change.”

“No, it’s not,” she said. “But you don’t need me tagging along right now. You’ve got enough to worry about.”

“And you think I’m not going to worry about you when I leave? At least if you were with me, I’ll know how you’re doing.”

“Tyler,” she pleaded. “Trust me on this. I’m not ready.”

Another silence followed. Worrying that Tyler might sink back into the strain of the past week and hoping to deflect the tension, she stood, picking her pole up. “You’re the one breaking the rules now.”

He followed her lead, slinging his arm out widely. The lure glided through the air and drop into the water.
So much for having a good day.

“
Ouch,” Tyler barked.

“Sit still.”

“Quit being so rough.”

Tyler’s back arched when the glop of cold aloe vera gel ran down his scorched flesh. He winced when Sera’s hands began to work in circles, lathering up the ointment.