Dream Shard (19 page)

He curled up, reached for her hair and pulled her away from his cock. Face-to-face, he felt her breath on his lips, but she pumped her hands down his cock once more, making him fight back the urge to come.

“Not nearly yet.”

He reached over the side of the bed and hooked one of her legs. He pulled her up and onto the bed, pinning her beneath his body. When she squirmed, he caught her arms and pressed them above her head.

“Stop demanding control, Devon.”

“You enjoy it,” he whispered against her lips. “I feel the desire inside you, that deep, dark secret…”

No one knew that…

He grinned. The curving of his mouth sensual and too knowing. He tightened his grip on her wrists, just a fraction to feed the craving boiling inside her. “I feel all your needs.”

“That can go both ways, Devon.” She lifted her legs and clasped them around his hips. Her body was wet, her folds opening so that the head of his cock slipped easily between them. Their thoughts were mingling, making it impossible to resist the urge to finish connecting completely. She lifted her hips, gasping as the head of his cock penetrated.

He groaned and lifted up and off her. “Got to use a condom.” He fumbled in the puddle that had been his pants and withdrew a foil packet. He ripped it open with his teeth before pushing up onto his hunches to sheath his member.

For a moment, she savored the sight of him. Hard, demanding and the answer to every longing she had. Lying on her back was impossible. She was impatient, unable to remain so passive. She sat up and reached for his shoulders.

“Missed me, did you?”

He grabbed her hips and guided her onto his lap. He eased her into position, his hands cupping her bottom as he sank into her body.

“I’m not the one who walked away.” She pressed herself down on his length, gasping as pleasure swirled through her. Somehow, sex had never been so good before. The actual act had never been so full of delight.

“Good.”

He was inside her mind, her thoughts merging seamlessly with his. He dug his fingers into her bottom, lifting and pushing her as their tempo increased.

“I want to be the only man you ever think about.”

His tone was raspy and possessive. But she tossed her hair back and refused to let him command the pace. She was going to ride him, claim him.

“In that case, you’d better be planning on being around.”

Her heart was pounding and so was his. She could feel him reaching the breaking point, climax tightening through his body. She was focused on his pleasure and it gave her enough restraint to hold back her own. He snarled as his cock began to jerk, spurting as pleasure rolled through him. He clamped her against him, thrusting into her with short, powerful motions that rubbed her clit.

She exploded, pressing her mouth against his shoulder to muffle her cry. Their pleasure mingled, washing through her and leaving her draped over him in a boneless heap.

Sometime later, she opened her eyes and realized he was still in the bed with her. She didn’t recall how they got untangled and didn’t care. All that mattered was the way he was curled against her back, his arms holding her securely and his mental wall nowhere in sight.

For just a moment, everything was perfect.

It had been so long since she’d felt like that that she tried to stay awake and savor it, but slumber claimed her as satisfaction glowed softly all around her.

Kalin felt Devon withdrawing from her. Even half-asleep, the separation was still something she noticed keenly. She rolled over and found the bedding warm but empty. She opened her eyes and found the blackness of night giving way.

Something shiny was lying next to her head.

She picked up the wrapper for the condom, her head clear enough to question why it had been such a pressing concern.

“That’s for your protection, Kalin.”

Devon was watching her from the doorway of the bathroom. She sat up and fought the urge to pull the sheet over herself. He was buck naked and she’d been a very willing participant. It was just before sunrise, the light in the room not quite daylight but no longer pitch black.

And he was here.

“Your point is valid.” His words warmed her, even if he was blocking her out of his thoughts. Instead of it feeling like it had for the last week, now she was just struck by a sensation of uncertainty.

Well, they had that in common.

His expression tightened and he moved toward her and pulled the condom wrapper from her fingers and tossed it into the trash can next to the bed.

“If you conceived, the lab rats would probably make you have it.”

“Excuse me?” she said, his words banishing the last of sleep from her mind.

He grabbed his pants and stepped into them. “Being pissed at me won’t do you any good. I wouldn’t get a vote.”

She rose up on her knees and cupped his chin with her hands. “I’m pissed on your behalf. You’re not some kind of prize bull.”

For a moment, their thoughts mingled. She felt him and the happiness her words gave him. But it was a fleeting moment, one he cut short by doing up his pants with jerky motions.

He reached for his shirt and shrugged into it, stepping back from her. “Grace has an older child and he’s already a proven tracker like her. That would be all the evidence needed to make sure you carry any child I father to term.”

She sat back on her knees, watching him put on his layers. He was tightening up with each item, becoming more detached from her with every snap and buckle. Once he had his gun belt secured, his thoughts were hidden completely.

“I’ve got to fall in for PT.”

He turned, reaching for the door handle.

“Do you want to know what I’d like to do if I conceived?”

He froze and turned back to look at her, but he was maintaining his mental wall.

“I doubt you would be asked your opinion, Kalin.”

She walked into the bathroom but felt him lowering his defenses to feel her out.

“You aren’t asking me how I would feel because you’re afraid of me telling you I wouldn’t mind having your baby. Why?” she asked.

He didn’t like her question. She felt something flash through him before his expression tightened. Something was churning inside his head. She sensed it before he shut her out, and left.

He didn’t slam the door, but the soft click of it closing felt like a gavel pounding.

Devon headed out of the house and down the porch steps. Garrick was watching for him but he shut the man out.

“I wouldn’t mind having your baby.”

He stopped, the words bouncing around inside his skull.

“We’re going to have a baby.”

No, that wasn’t what Kalin had said. Was it what he wanted? His heart was pounding, accelerating as sweat began to trickle down the side of his face.

“You aren’t asking me how I would feel because you’re afraid of me telling you.”

He was afraid of something. It was lodged in the remaining shadows, that place he could just make out where the last of his memories were stuck. Making him stretch until it felt like he was going to rip in two.

“Devon?” Garrick’s voice was far away. But it pulled on him, yanking him away from the last straw that needed to break to allow everything to flow once again.

“Leave him.”

Grace’s voice was there with Garrick’s but she pushed into his mind. He felt her and something else. Another presence, one that was soft and young.

Her baby.

Her son.

It frustrated him unbearably. He growled before opening his eyes and staring into Grace’s. Her emerald eyes were dilated, but his frustration pushed her back. Somehow, he’d ended up on his knees and she fell back onto her butt before thrusting up her defenses.

“God damn it,” he swore. “It was right fucking there.”

And now it wasn’t. Everything had settled back into place, that teasing hint of what he couldn’t recall irritating the hell out of him.

“You’re afraid of something,” Grace muttered softly, still sifting through whatever she’d pulled out of his head.

Devon snorted but she fixed her gaze on him and he felt the blaze of her confidence. “That’s why you can’t remember. You won’t admit it.”

He wanted to scoff at her, but he felt something from her that was familiar. He lowered his mental defenses, trying to pick up the threads of what he’d almost remembered.

It remained elusive. The scent and the feel of it were familiar but nothing else.

Grace suddenly stiffened. She pulled back from their link, shutting him out.

“What?” he demanded.

Grace didn’t answer him. She climbed to her feet and held up a finger to warn him back. “It’s not my place.”

“God damn it, Grace, tell me what it is.” The last two weeks’ worth of frustration spilled out as he reached for her. Lunged toward her.

Garrick and Jacobs both slid between them. Boots skidded against the packed dirt as the two majors pushed their Operatives apart. Devon growled and set his shoulder against Garrick.

“Tell me, Grace,” Devon insisted. “I know you know.”

Garrick didn’t give an inch.

“So do you.” Grace surprised him by answering. She peeked around Jacobs’s huge form, moving back as Jacobs refused to let her stay too close to him. “You have to face yourself.”

She pushed back from her C.O. and warned him off with a flash of her open hands. He planted himself squarely between her and Devon. For a moment, her attention settled on Devon. He felt her fighting the urge to renew a link with him so he pressed forward, earning a short word of profanity from Garrick.

Grace stiffened, withdrawing completely. She turned and started walking toward the tree line. Her pace was familiar and Devon stood back, disengaging as he recognized his fellow Operative’s customary prowl. Grace moved almost constantly. When her mind was full, she walked as she sorted through her feelings. She was climbing out of the clearing the houses were set in and into the tree line without a backward glance. Taking whatever she’d discovered in his mind with her.

“Shit.”

“A fitting sentiment,” Garrick agreed, watching Devon with hooded eyes.

“I don’t fucking know what she’s talking about,” Devon responded. “So either get out of my way so I can go after her or leave me the fuck alone.”

Garrick turned and looked in the direction Grace had gone, but he shook his head. “Trying to rip your memories out of her head isn’t the answer.”

Defeat washed through Devon, but he had to nod in agreement. The other Rangers were lined up for morning PT. “I need to think,” he growled before turning and walking away.

Garrick ended up left with Jacobs as they both tried to decide what to make of the morning.

“I need a drink,” Jacobs quietly announced.

“Make mine a double,” Garrick answered.

Target practice was an excellent way to tighten his mental discipline.

At least, it always had been in the past.

Devon lined up the sights on the end of his rifle and ignored the two rocks stabbing into his hip. He needed to make the shot and being comfortable came second. The rifle felt familiar in his grasp, the machine something he was accustomed to cradling.

Unlike Kalin.

He squeezed off the shot but had allowed the sights to come out of balance. Three rounds went whizzing over the ten o’clock corner of the target.

“Maybe you need a break, Devon.”

Devon lifted his head and glared at Garrick. His C.O. shook his head.

It was subtle, but the reprimand strung. He got off the ground and took the rifle back to the munitions locker.

His focus was refusing to tighten.

Grace and Kalin’s words were bouncing around inside his skull. It was driving him insane. So he hiked up and out of the clearing that the houses sat in. It wasn’t much of a clearing at all. Brice Campbell hadn’t cut down any more of the forest than needed to build his house. The second house belonged to Jason Jacobs and the major had also left as many of the trees in place as natural cover.

By sunset, he stank. But he crouched down and ignored his physical condition.

It was his mental state that needed attention.

He’d stopped close enough to see Brice Campbell pull up in front of his house. Grace came out of the forest, crossing the clearing as her husband got out of the black and white SUV. She was distracted and her mental wall slipped as she went into her husband’s embrace.

Exactly the same way he was with Kalin.

That idea tormented him. It refused to be plucked out and discarded.

Grace looked up, finding him even though he knew she was too far away to see him.

She felt him. The contact between their minds was clear. Through the link, he felt her emotions. The pure happiness she experienced in her husband’s arms. It was bliss and completely lacking in discipline. Her emotions flowed, creating a peace he couldn’t recall feeling except for the stolen moments he’d spent in Kalin’s embrace.

Even his memories of Heather didn’t compare. He’d always kept his mental wall up because of the panic his abilities caused in her.

Kalin matched him. Reached out for him just as often as he pressed in on her.

Something surfaced in him as he witnessed Grace enjoying her husband’s company. He felt her basking in the love coming from Brice. It needled him. Sharpening the frustration that had been gnawing on him all day until all that was left was a hollow, aching longing.

It stunned him.

Partly because of the sheer intensity of it, but also because it was a weakness he’d forbidden himself since the day he’d first felt fear coming from his wife. He’d locked something away, something he’d thought long dead.

It wasn’t.

It was stretching, struggling against the walls he’d encased it in. Seeping through the cracks and infecting his entire being. There was no way to run from it because it was inside him, his own feelings. Those unpredictable things that he’d spent half a lifetime trying to control.

The door on the Jacobs’s house opened and slammed shut as Kalin came out and didn’t stop. She took the porch steps at a jog before making it into the driveway and stopping. She stood there for a moment, tipped her head back and started rotating slowly until she was staring at him.