Authors: Sara Craven
wanting him to return to London to check up on what she had said.
She sank her teeth into her lower lip. Was her mother really capable
of such deliberate malice? she wondered dazedly. She was a selfish
woman and a spoiled one, but no worse than that, surely? She could
be ruthless—with weak bridge opponents, with friends who proved
broken reeds. There was little compassion in her, as Davina had
always been aware. She was icy-brained over money too, and her
successful dealings on the stock market were a legend in her
intimate circle. And she hated Gethyn, and all he represented.
And people whom Vanessa Greer had reason to dislike were cut
out of her life without mercy, or the right to appeal. Davina had
seen it happen a dozen times and been appalled. One day, someone
might offend. The next, they seemed to have ceased to exist as far
as her mother was concerned.
She came back to the present with a start, aware that they were
turning off the road.
'Are we back so soon?'
'We're nowhere near back,' he returned. 'I think you've had as much
as you can take for one night, so we're going to stay the night here,
if they have a vacancy.'
She opened her mouth to protest, but the Landrover had stopped
and he was already climbing out, and walking up to the front door
of the house.
Davina closed her eyes and leaned back against the seat. Was she
to be spared nothing? she wondered wearily. She could only pray
that their potential landlady would not have a vacancy or that she
would not like the look of them and send them on their way. After a
brief conference at the door, Gethyn came round to the passenger
side and opened the door.
'Down you get,' he directed curtly. 'There is a room. I've told her
what's happened, and she's gone to heat up some milk and find you
some aspirin. I told her you were bushed.'
'Can't we go back to Plas Gwyn?' She looked at him pleadingly.
He'd said 'a room', not 'rooms'. Did he still intend, in spite of
everything, to carry out his threat? Her eyes searched his face, but'
there was no hint to be gained from his enigmatic look, as he stood
implacably waiting to help her out, not even bothering to answer
her question. He had made the decision. All that was left for her
was to obey it.
Her head bowed defeatedly, she let him help her down and walked
across the small gravelled space to the front door. There was a
small vestibule, crowded with folding chairs and a cheerful huddle
of buckets and spades, and a small square hall beyond.
As they waited, a door from the back of the house opened and their
hostess, a round dark-eyed robin of a woman, appeared carrying a
tray.
'There now.' Her gaze took in Davina's white face and shadowed
eyes and the plaster cast on her arm with an all-encompassing
thoroughness. 'You poor girl! A warm drink and bed, that's what
you need. This way.'
There was no choice perforce but to follow her. Davina was acutely
aware of Gethyn following behind her, his body almost brushing
hers as they ascended the narrow stairs. It was a large room at the
back, with large furniture to match, and the double bed with its blue
candlewick bedspread took pride of place.
'Shall I fetch you a hot water bottle?' Their hostess set the tray
down on the bedside table and smoothed the bedcovers with a
proprietorial hand. 'Then I'll bid you goodnight,' she added as
Davina refused the offer with an effort at a smile.
It seemed -very quiet in the room once the door had closed behind
her. Davina stared down at the flowered carpet.
'We could do with some air.' Gethyn walked over to the window
and gave the top sash an abrupt jerk. Then he drew the curtains.
Immediately the room seemed to close in on them, become more
intimate.
'Do you want to get into bed before you have your milk?' He
opened the bottle of aspirin, and shook a couple into his palm,
before turning to see why she had not replied. The expression on
her face must have been totally revealing, because he swore coldly
and comprehensively and then walked over to her.
'What are you imagining now?' His voice sounded icy with fury.
'That my foul lusts have to be satisfied before all other
considerations? Considerations like ordinary decency? Contrary to
your expectations,
cariad,
I have not brought you here to rape you.
You have my word on that— not that I expect it to count much with
you. You're here simply because I think you need a rest. If they'd
suggested keeping you overnight at Bronglais, I'd have welcomed it.
Understood?'
She nodded faintly, hot tears pricking at her eyelids. 'I'm sorry,' she
managed.
'So you keep saying.' He turned away with an impatient shrug. 'Let's
take all the apologies as read, shall we? It would be much less
complicated.'
'I suppose it would.' Her tone sounded ragged, and she hoped he
had not noticed. She walked over to the bed and sank down on the
edge, reaching for the beaker of milk. She took the aspirin he
passed her without argument, wishing only that they could numb the
ache in her heart as efficiently as they would disperse the throb in
her arm. She wanted oblivion, yet everywhere she looked, he
seemed to be. When she had drunk the milk, he took the beaker and
replaced it on the tray, then squatted down in front of her looking
up into her face.
'I suggest,' he said quietly, 'that you'll be more comfortable out of
your sweater and jeans. I also suggest that you'll find it well-nigh
impossible to get out of them unaided at first. If you want, I'll call
Mrs Evans back, or I could help you myself. Which is it to be?'
She hesitated painfully, aware of an odd wistfulness deep inside
her. Then she said almost inaudibly, 'Help me— please.'
He was very gentle as he eased the sleeve of her sweater over the
plaster. She could almost have said tender, but such a word had no
place in their relationship. His attitude was reassuringly
matter-of-fact as he tugged the garment over her head and tossed it
on to the bed. Then he undid the button on her jeans and lowered
the zip, guiding the fabric over her hips.
'Step out,' he ordered briefly, and her jeans went to join the sweater.
He reached behind her and turned back the bedcovers. 'We'll leave
it at that, I think. From what I remember, you're not in the habit of
sleeping nude.'
'No,' she said, cursing inwardly at the faint colour that rose in her
face.
He rearranged the pillows slightly. 'That's better. The doctor said
you ought to keep your arm raised slightly for tonight at least. Get
in.'
Davina compiled, wriggling until she could find a position in which
she might be able to get some rest. The cast on her arm wasn't
particularly heavy, but it felt incredibly bulky and obtrusive as she
tried to get comfortable. She did not look at him, but she could hear
the rustle of his clothes as he removed them, and then the bed
beside her creaked under his weight.
'Gethyn,' she said, her throat suddenly tight.
'I'm sorry, Davina.' His own tone was flat. 'But not even for you am
I prepared to spend a cold night in that travesty of a fireside chair. I
won't touch you, I give you my word, no matter what I may have
implied earlier today. Now, go to sleep.' He switched off the
bedside light, plunging the room into darkness.
She lay very still. It was better this way, she told herself blankly.
Far better that he should think that she had been registering an
instinctive protest about his unwanted presence in her bed than that
he should guess the shameful truth. For the fact was that she had
welcomed his unfamiliar weight and warmth beside her. And more
than welcomed. Wanted to feel him not just beside her but against
her, pressing her down into 'the softness of the mattress—his
mouth, his hands exploring, uncovering ...
She turned away almost convulsively towards the edge of the bed.
'Davina.' His voice came softly through the darkness, and she
tensed. 'I just wanted you to know if it's any comfort to you that I
agree to the divorce. When we get back to Plas Gwyn, I'll sign
anything you want. You don't have to worry any more.'
She felt him turn away from her, towards his edge of the bed. She
didn't move, but her brain was teeming. It was totally ludicrous, she
thought. For him to say that, at this of all moments! As she lay here
barely two feet away from him, longing for him, hungering for him
as if the past had been wiped out. But why was that so impossible
anyway? she asked herself. If you loved someone, surely the love
went on no matter how deep the hurt, or how long the parting. And
she did love him. There was no more room for doubt. Loved him
and wanted him too, until her teeth ached with it.
But he didn't want her. Oh, he might have taken her in a spirit of
revenge, but it would have been on a strictly temporary basis. His
anger against her had died now, stifled by pity for her weakness
maybe, and all that remained in its ashes was indifference. That was
why he had vetoed apologies and explanations. Because he had
been looking ahead to their ultimate parting, and wanted to make it
as simple as possible. A clean break.
She caught the edging on the pillowslip between her teeth and
gripped it tightly to prevent herself from moaning. How hard she
had fought all this time to conceal the truth, most of all from herself.
And how hard she was going to have to fight still if she was to get
out of this situation with even the remnants of her pride left intact.
She shut her eyes so tightly that brightly coloured specks danced
and jigged behind her eyelids, imagining what it would have been
like, what she would have felt if she had offered herself to him, and
he had refused.
Somehow she would have to get back to London and proceed with
the divorce, and hope that eventually she would be able to exorcise
him from her mind, her heart, the innermost recesses of her soul.
Perhaps, she thought, that was all she had ever been afraid of—the
knowledge of the depth of her commitment to him. It was true that
she had been spoiled all her life in material things, but real love,
real caring had for the most part been strangers to her. Mrs Greer's
main concern was that Davina should be a credit to her. When she
was being a submissive daughter, then she was treated amiably.
Uncle Philip, she knew, had genuine affection for her, but his prime
concern was with his own family and she would not have had it
otherwise. No wonder she had been overwhelmed by what Gethyn
could so effortlessly make her feel! But once again she had been
cheated. He had only the hollowness of passion to offer her, not the
warm reassurance of loving that she needed.
Forgetting that she was not alone, she gave a long deep sigh, and
started as he spoke.
'Can't you sleep? Is your arm paining you?'
'A little.' It was only half a lie, she placated her conscience. She had
to stifle a little cry as his hand touched her bare arm.
'No wonder you can't sleep,' he said roughly. 'You're half frozen.
Why didn't you take that hot water bottle she offered you?'
'I think I must still be suffering from shock.' Her voice shook a little.
'I—I can't seem to get warm.'
She heard him give a muffled groan, then the bedsprings creaked as
he moved. His arm went round her and she was drawn back against
him, folded tightly into the curve of his body, absorbing his warmth.
'Better?' he asked drily.
'Yes.' She could barely manage the whispered monosyllable. His
closeness, the knowledge that unlike herself he had no hang-ups
about sleeping nude, were playing havoc with her senses.
Gethyn sighed and muttered something she could not catch, but she
did not dare ask him to repeat it. She made herself lie like a stone,
forced her breathing to become deep and regular, wanting to
deceive him that she had fallen asleep. And gradually, in spite of
herself, fiction became fact, and she slipped almost without
realising it over the edge of drowsiness into slumber.
She woke with a start. It was still early, but daylight was edging
into the room through the curtains. She found they had changed
their positions in the night. Gethyn now was lying on his back, and