Dragon Apocalypse (The Berserker and the Pedant Book 2) (6 page)

Gurken raised the sword to skewer her when he was struck on the head from behind.
 
Pellonia dropped a rock and used her handkerchief to remove the sword from Gurken’s unconscious body.
 
She retrieved the sheath from Gurken and slid the sword inside.
 
She removed her cloak and wrapped the sword inside of it, fastening it together with Gurken’s belt.

“Well that was exciting,” Pellonia said.
 
“Well done, Maximina.”

“Well done?
 
He nearly had me!
 
The spiked shields have got to go.”

Back in the cave, Pellonia, Maximina, and Gurken sat at a table enjoying a cup of tea.
 
The unicorn stood off to the side next to Ohm, whose body filled most of the rest of the cavern.

“I wish to apologize once more for my actions, Ohm,” Gurken said.
 
“The maidens had requested my aid in slaying you to free them, and how could I not oblige them?”

“Seems quite easy to not oblige them to me,” mumbled the unicorn.

“He’s rather cordial for a templerager,” said Maximina. “Where’s the rage?
 
Where’s the angst?”

“Yes,” said Pellonia. “He’s been like this ever since he befriended the goblins and the elves left.”

“Befriended the goblins?” Maximina sat up, suddenly paying much closer attention.
 
“I could use some goblin friends.”
 
She leaned against the table on one arm and tapped at her lip with a forefinger.

“Yes, I’m afraid I haven’t been much use since then.
 
Can’t get a good rage up.”

“Nonsense, Gurken,” Pellonia said.
 
“You’ve performed admirably, you just need more practice fighting without going into a rage.
 
With Maximina along, I’m sure there will be plenty of opportunities.”
 
The unicorn snorted.

“Well, what do we do now?” Maximina asked.
 
“Return to the village?”

“I’m afraid not,” Gurken said.
 
“We can’t just leave Ohm here, killing knights and abducting maidens from the village.”

“Why are you doing that, anyway?” Pellonia asked.
 
“You seem like such a nice dragon.”

Ohm sat up, her immense neck uncoiling as she moved her head directly beside them, looking at them with one eye.
 
“Kill I did not, but to save.”

Ohm shifted her body out of the way, revealing a large circular door.
 
She reached down one claw, caught the latch, and opened it.
 
Pellonia, Maximina, and Gurken stood and walked over to the door.
 
Inside was a pile of gold and jewels.
 
Sitting on top of the pile of wealth was a golden egg the size of Gurken’s head.

“I will not leave until it hatches, and I cannot move it to take with me.
 
The knights kept attacking me, so I arranged to take some maidens captive.”

“It was my idea, really,” the unicorn said.

“Aren’t unicorns supposed to be pure and nice?” Maximina asked.

“Aren’t drow supposed to be creepy and evil?” the unicorn retorted.

Maximina’s eyebrows furled, her eyes glowing green.
 
“What did you call me?”

“I-uh, creepy and evil? I see you’re terribly offended.
 
I do apologize.”

“A DROW,” Maximina said.
 
“How dare you call me a drow?
 
I should kill you where you stand.
 
It’s unicorn steaks for dinner tonight!”

Pellonia stuck out her tongue in disgust and Gurken curled his top lip and said, “Yuck.”
 
Ohm licked her lips without thinking about it, then noticed and quickly sucked her tongue back in her mouth and glowered at Maximina.

The unicorn sat down on its hindquarters and cocked its head to one side.
 
“What should I call you?”

“I am an Under Elf, and you would do well to remember that.”

A large cracking sound came from inside the room with the egg, interjecting what was sure to be a momentous battle.
 
Everyone peeked their heads around the edges of the doorway and looked inside.
 
A small dragon’s head popped out of a hole in the egg.
 
The creature reached its hands through the opening, stretched and pulled itself out.
 
It was no bigger than a gerbil.

“Rrrrrooooowwwwwwh,” the young dragon said, stretching its arms and legs.
 
It looked around at the gold and gems and let loose an enormous gout of flame at them.
 
Some of the gold melted and the dragon began to lick up the golden slag.
 

“Awwww,” said Ohm.

“The gold!” exclaimed Maximina.
 
Everyone looked at Maximina, then back at the newborn dragon.
 
The dragon continued to melt the gold and lap it up.
 
As it ate, it increased in size.
 
After it was done consuming the gold, it began swallowing the precious gems.

“The gems!” Maximina proclaimed, but everyone ignored her.
 
As the dragon ate the gems, its eyes and claws took on a gemlike quality, shimmering with reflected light.

When it finished, the dragon was the size of a large cat.
 
It crawled over to the doorway and looked up at its mother.
 
It crouched like a cat ready to pounce onto its prey and jumped, spreading its wings and gliding onto its mother’s snout.
 
It crawled up and onto her back and curled up for a nap.

“Let’s call it Kitty!” Pellonia said.

The dragon gave her a look conveying the monumental stupidity of that suggestion, and said, “His name is Apocalypse. He is the harbinger of the end times.
 
His hatching heralds a time of reckoning, when the world’s fate shall be decided for all time.”

Pellonia gulped.
 
“I like Kitty better.”

“Me too,” Maximina and Gurken agreed together, nodding.

“Has anyone seen my axe?”
 
Gurken asked.
 
“I’m sure I had it on me earlier, but I can’t find it.”

“Did you check your other armor?” Pellonia asked.

“I did, it’s not there.”

“Maybe Kitty moved it?” Pellonia suggested.

“His name is Apocalypse.”
 
The dragon sniffed.
 
“And he would’ve eaten it.”

“Where do you last remember having it?” Maximina asked.
 
“That always helps me find things.”

“Let’s see.
 
I had it when I went in to see the maidens.”

“Did you have it with you when you attacked the dragon?” the unicorn asked.

“No,” Pellonia said.
 
“He had the cursed sword with him then.
 
No axe.”

“I must have left it in the maidens’ room when I was changing into the plate mail armor,” Gurken said.
 
“But I checked, it’s not there now.”

“The maidens must have taken it,” Pellonia said.

Gurken glared.
 
“Davina Bloodhammer,” he growled.
 
“We have to follow them to Arendal to get it back.”

The dragon cleared its throat.
 
“Pardon me, but can I go with you?”

“You want to go with us?” Pellonia asked.

“Apocalypse has hatched; he needs to spread his wings and get out.
 
And so do I, to be honest.
 
I’ve been cooped up in a cave for too long waiting on the little guy, and besides, the town is fresh out of maidens.
 
There’ll be more knights coming for sure.”

“I really don’t see how that worked,” Pellonia said.

“What worked?” Ohm asked.

“Wouldn’t kidnapping the maidens make more knights come, not less? You know, in order to rescue them?”

The dragon and the unicorn looked at each other.

“I, uh, suppose so,” said the unicorn.

“I guess that’s why they never stopped coming,” said the dragon, shrugging.
 
“In any event, I’m quite ready to leave now.”

“I think you’ll make quite an impression in the city,” Maximina said.
 
“Won’t they just attack you?”

“Oh, I’ll be going incognito,” Ohm said.
 
Ohm closed her enormous eyes and concentrated.
 
A scale fell off of her snout and clattered to the floor, followed by another and another.
 
Then all at once, every scale on her body fell to the ground.
 
The golden scales fell into an enormous pile of gold, flowing into an overwhelming tide, sweeping them along.
 
They came to a rest, buried in gold up to their shoulders.

Maximina’s eyes grew as big as the dragon’s hoard to be and her mouth dropped open.
 
“The dragon’s treasure!” she gasped.
 
“I knew it had to be around here somewhere.”

Standing with the pile of gold up to his waist was a shirtless well-toned man.
 
His auburn hair was kissed with a golden sheen.
 
A day’s worth of stubble caressed his cheeks.
 
His bronzed flesh glistened with the light sweat of a moderate exertion and his chest heaved as he took in breath.
 
He held a lute in his hand, raised into the air.

“Behold!” he said, “Ohm the Bard!”

Pellonia and Maximina stared at Ohm.
 
Maximina bit her bottom lip and Pellonia’s mouth opened.

“I thought you were a girl,” Gurken wondered aloud.

Ohm shook his head, a mischievous grin on his face.
 
“Mortals have such a queer fascination with gender.”

C
HAPTER
S
IX

The Berserker and the Bard

“I THOUGHT HE was a girl,” Gurken said.
 
Gurken, Pellonia, and Maximina were walking north towards the floating city of Arendal.
 
Ohm followed, riding the unicorn while playing his lute, the baby dragon Apocalypse resting on his shoulder.
 
As they had travelled north, the weather turned.
 
It grew cold, and the ground was covered in snow.
 
A light snowfall drifted continuously to the ground.

“I mean, she did have an egg,” Gurken continued.
 
“Right?
 
We all saw it.”

“I like him much better as a man. I mean bard,” Maximina said, biting her lip and glancing back at Ohm.
 
Ohm strummed his lute.
 
If he noticed them at all, he gave no indication.

“Ohm can change form,” said Pellonia.
 
“I guess that means changing genders too.”

Maximina’s lips turned up in a wicked grin.
 
“Sounds fun.”

“I guess.”
 
Pellonia shrugged.

“No, thanks,” Gurken said.
 
“I’m quite happy being a man, thank you very much.”

Maximina rolled her eyes.
 
“Of course you are.”