Dragon Apocalypse (The Berserker and the Pedant Book 2) (10 page)

Gurken and Pellonia looked at each other again.
 
“A Phage got on the elven ship?” Pellonia said.
 
“That could end in disaster.
 
The other Pellonia, Melody, Leon, they’re all in serious trouble.”

“The other Pellonia?” Maximina asked.

Pellonia nodded.
 
“Before Arthur turned all evil, he tried to make a copy of me so that I could stay here and the copy could go on the Awakening.
 
There was some sort of feedback caused by having so many orbs active and he accidentally made four copies of me.
 
One went to the ship, three were taken by Phage, and I got away.”

Pellonia continued, “The Orb of Skzd can open a portal to anywhere in the world, so if they need longer range they might be trying to open a portal back to the Phage homeworld to send in reinforcements.”

“We’ve got to stop them,” Gurken said.

“I’ll help,” Davina said.
 
“Arthur fooled me into helping him, and I’ve got to make things right.”

“Very well,” said Gurken.

Pellonia put her hands up and furled her brow.
 
“Whatever happened to that berserker rage, Gurken?
 
You’re all forgiveness and diplomacy now.
 
It’s quite unnerving.”

Gurken shrugged.
 
“And my axe? Where’s my axe, Davina?”

“Oooo, as to that…”

“Yes?”

“It was confiscated to pay for our taxes.”

“Of course it was.”

“I have the receipt.”
 
She handed the receipt to Gurken.
 
It read “This receipt entitles the bearers, a/an band of accountants registered as The Iron Maidens, to receive one mystic axe in exchange for the sum of 79,131 pieces of gold within 30 days of the issuance of the receipt.”

“Have you the money to bail out the axe?” Gurken asked.

“I’m afraid not, I was just going to let them keep it.
 
That’s an awful lot of gold.”

“We’ve got to get that sponsor,” Pellonia said.
 
“Davina, can you take us to meet Nevil FitzClarence?”

“I’d be delighted to,” Davina said.

“Halt!” said the gatekeeper to the FitzClarence estate.
 
He stood just beyond the ornately decorated and gilded gate entrance.
 
“What business do you have within?”

“Ulric, you know I work for BAG.
 
You know what I’m here for, let me in,” Davina said.

“Sorry, Davina.
 
It’s my job to ask, it’s the only thing I do.
 
Let me do my job, please,” Ulric whispered. In a louder voice he said, “What business do you have within?”

Davina rolled her eyes and said, “We seek an audience with Nevil FitzClarence to petition him for a writ of expeditious undertaking for these adventurers.
 
You know he loves these things, let us pass.”

“Very well, I will send for the page.”

He turned to the messenger boy and gave a short command and the boy took off at such an expedient pace that Davina was quite impressed.
 
He returned momentarily with the page and everyone was escorted along a path that crossed the lawn and wound around a fountain sculpture depicting a handsome wealthy individual exiting a carriage and braving entrance to a foreboding mine.

There was a sculpture of a hideous troll coming out of the mine, water spurting from his mouth.
 
Statues of a dwarf, a small girl, and a centaur, stood behind the wealthy individual, the water from the troll flowing in an arc over his head and onto the head of the centaur.
 

Pellonia stood with her hands on her hips, glaring at the sculpture. “I don’t recall it happening quite like that.”
 
Gurken watched the water spurting from the trolls mouth and onto the centaur.
 
He smiled and said, “At least the troll isn’t spitting on you.”

Elaborate marble steps led to the entrance of the house and the page stopped in front of the doorman.
 
The doorman shooed him away and said “I apologize that you had to deal with one of the lesser staff.
 
Please enter.”
 
He held the door open and Davina lead the others inside.

As they stepped foot into the home, they encountered the first footman who lead them to the staircase where the housekeeper shooed him away and lead our heroes up the stairs where the second footman apologized for the indignity of having to have spoken to the housekeeper only to have the butler arrive, dismiss the first footman, and apologize for having had to speak to one of such lowly station.

The butler led them to the sitting room, where the house steward interjected and introduced himself after releasing the butler to fetch some refreshments.
 
He invited them to sit in the upper library and await his master, upon which time the secretary arrived and dispatched the house steward to retrieve the master of the house.

Quite exhausted and confused, the adventurers — if we can call those without an adventuring license “adventurers” — were quite relieved when Nevil FitzClarence finally arrived.

“Gurken, Pellonia, it is so good to see you again after our quest.
 
I take it things turned out well?”
 
Nevil said.

“Yes, and no,” Pellonia replied.
 
“We saved the world, in no small part due to your contribution, however, though the battle is won, the war is not.
 
The Phage lurk hidden in this world and seek still to destroy it.”

“Ghastly!” Nevil exclaimed. “How may I be of assistance?”

“They’re seeking a sponsor, your lordship,” Davina said.

 
“Why, yes, you would need a sponsor now that you’re in Arendal.
 
I’d be delighted to sponsor your adventuring party, Pellonia,” Nevil said.

“That’s great, I really appreciate it,” Pellonia said.

“Not at all,” said Lord FitzClarence.
 
“I even have a quest for you!”

“A quest?” said Pellonia. “We’re really looking to—”

“Yes, a quest!
 
It’s really quite important. You see, plant demons have been lurking beneath the city.
 
They’ve scared away the sewer workers and the entire city is beginning to, shall we say, back up.
 
Another questing party, The Lightning Brigade, went off in search of them a week ago, but they’ve not returned and the attacks continue.”

Pellonia wrinkled her nose.
 
“You want us to go down into the sewers?”

“Well, that’s the quest that’s available.
 
You need a sponsor, we need the sewers cleaned out of plant monsters.”

“Fine,” Pellonia said.
 
“But we’ll need enough gold to get our items out and Gurken’s axe.
 
And we’ll need the axe up front.”

“Seems perfectly reasonable to me,” Lord FitzClarence said, clapping his hands.
 
The secretary ran into the room.
 
“Please prepare documentation for the official sponsorship of… what did you say your adventuring party’s name is?”

“The Ice Capaders.”

“Fabulous name,” said Lord FitzClarence.
 
“Please prepare documentation for the official sponsorship of Lord FitzClarence’s Ice Capaders.
 
Initial outlay shall be enough to cover the bail on Gurken’s axe, currently held under the account of Davina Bloodhammer.
 
Second payment shall be made in the form of bail to cover the release of the remaining items on the Ice Capaders’ account.
 
Does that suffice?”

“It does,” said Pellonia.

“Excellent!” said Lord FitzClarence, then you are invited to dine with me at a party in your honor tonight.
 
I shall invite the rest of the nobility; anyone who is anyone shall be there.
 
You should even be able to acquire additional sponsors.
 
The top adventuring parties earn more from noble patrons than they do from adventuring!”

“That sounds like a great deal,” Pellonia said.
 
“However, we really just want to get our stuff back and be on our way.
 
The Phage are trying to get back to this world after we prevented them from destroying it last time.
 
If they get back, it will be disastrous.
 
We don’t really have time to go on sponsored quests.”

“Saving the world!
 
That sounds like a fabulous quest!
 
There will be no shortage of co-sponsors for that.
 
Tell me more about this Phage while Gurken’s axe is retrieved.”

Lord FitzClarence was true to his word. That evening a fabulous feast was thrown in their honor.
 
Before the guests arrived, Davina returned to BAG to fulfill her obligations and The Ice Capaders were thoroughly bathed, rinsed, and groomed by the Lord’s servants.

Pellonia was outfit with the finest clothing in the latest styles a rogue would wear: a soft black suede cloak made from the flesh of unweaned calves, and boots made from the same, a shiny mulberry silk blouse, and black linen trousers. Gurken was outfit with exquisitely engraved ceremonial platinum plate armor, a jewel-encrusted helm, and brown suede boots made from the flesh of unweaned sheep.
 
Maximina donned platinum scale mail and matched it with plum colored silken boots, gloves, scarf, and cloak embroidered with golden thread and a platinum tiara shimmering with diamonds.
 
Ohm was given a brazenly colored silken outfit of the brightest yellows and boldest reds.

The Ice Capaders sat in the seats of honor beside the lord at the head of the grand table, which formed a large ‘W’ shape.
 
Hundreds of nobles sat in order of their station, with those of higher rank seated next to the adventurers and those of the lowest seated at the other end of the long tables.
 
Dozens of servants brought a feast of fowl and beef, with specialty items from the ends of the known world and beyond.

Pellonia engaged in small talk with a rather charming prince of Arendal, Prince Elbert Windsor, who enthralled her with tales of life at court.
 
Gurken outdrank Randall Violet, Duke of Aerilon, a neighboring city, providing Maximina with the occasion to tease the lovely Ilda Violet, Duchess of Aerilon, about her décolletage. The duchess blushed prettily and soon the two, having drunk too much wine, retired to discuss whatever it is that two young ladies retire to discuss on such an occasion.

Ohm was set upon by admiring young ladies of nobility, drawn to his voice and handsome body.
 
Each young lady was more eager than the last to pet his dragon and touch his lute.
 
He ate and drank his fill of food and mead and played late into the night, under the suspicious and watchful eyes of the ladies’ governesses, until all had fallen asleep on the plush couches near the stage.
 
Somehow, he had still not managed to acquire a patron by morning.