Down 'N' Derby (27 page)

Chapter 35

Storey

If I had to break through his walls over and over, starting from the top and working my way down jus
t to have him construct them again; it would be work worth doing. 

             
I went with him to Einer and Rex’s apartment.  He didn’t speak the entire way.  I couldn’t figure out if he was upset because it was his father or because he felt guilty since we were away when it happened.  But what I did know—he was beating the hell out of himself for it. 

             
“Mad, I…”  He just shook his head ‘no’ at me.  I would have to wait him out until he was ready to talk.  We got there about one in the morning.  He drilled Rex over and over again about the details of what happened.  Rex finally threw his hands in the air and told Mad there was nothing else he could say. I sat on the dingy couch beside him and put my hand on his back.  He moved away and shrugged my hand off of him.  I nodded to myself and walked outside for some air.  

             
For a moment, a split second rather, I questioned this whole situation.  I’d only known him for a month.  Was I really willing to invest this much, emotionally into something so new?  He was everything I promised I’d look for after Simon—Simon’s opposite. He defended women, opened doors, made sure I was warm, and kept me safe, even from his own father, even from himself.  And that’s what he was doing here.  He was keeping me safe from his inner turmoil.  But he couldn’t hide from me anymore.

             
After letting the ocean air cool me down and clear my head, I went back inside.  I sat on a chair in the corner and hugged my knees to my chest.  I would wait him out.  About an hour later he opened the door to the apartment and nodded his head at me.  I followed him but I couldn’t deny the twinge of resentment I felt.  After everything we’d been through in such a short span of time—how dare he shut me out. 

             
When we got back, he resumed his couch sitting, this time on my couch.  I sat next to him and he moved to the chair—second time.  I let out all my aggravation in one breath.   This went on for three days before I gave up.  He and Rex had their father cremated.  But there was no other family or friends, so a memorial service wasn’t held.  He left to go see Einer before the cremation, or what was left of him and didn’t even ask me to go.  I promised myself I would try one more time to reach him and then I was calling in reinforcements.  Then I changed my mind.  I wouldn’t let it go that far.  He obviously needed something that I couldn’t give him.  I got his phone from the dresser.  He left it on purpose so I couldn’t call him—another way to cut me off.  I dialed Falcon.  I didn’t really know what to say but from what Mad had told me of him, he would know what to do without me asking. 

             
“Hey Mad, how’s it goin’?”

             
“Falcon, it’s Storey.  I’m Mad’s…”

             
“Yeah, of course, we all know who you are Storey.  He talks about you non-stop.”

             
“Oh, ok, well that’s kinda ironic since he’s barely speaking to me.  Did he tell you Einer died?”

             
Someone picked up on another line and I heard a female voice say, “Hello?”

             
“Hi Reed.”  I’d only talked to her twice but knew her mouse-like voice.

             
“Storey, is he ok?”  Jeez, this woman knows him better than I do.

             
“Not really, actually.  Einer was killed in a car accident over the weekend.  He’s gone back to not touching anyone and he won’t talk to me. I’ve tried several times and I just don’t think I’m enough to help him this time.” 

             
Reed gasped over the phone, “So he got over it.  He didn’t flinch when he touched you.  I knew it!  But shit, he’s back to it now.”

             
Falcon had stayed quiet on his end and then muttered one sentence, commanding and gentle at once.  “Storey, text me your address.  Reed and I are gonna pack some bags and then we’ll be on a plane.  We’ll call you when we get there.”

             
I got off of the phone feeling relieved.  This was his family, they could help him.  And then a rush of nausea flowed over me.  It was an unwelcomed blast from my past, the feeling of not being enough, never being enough for Simon.  I could never keep his attention, never could keep him from straying.  The only thing I had left to pack up was my kitchen and so I dove into that task head first, needing something to take out my hurt on. 

             
A few hours and ten boxes later, I was done and filthy.  I slumped into the bathtub and hard as I fought against them, tears pummeled through my eyelids, needing to break free.  I shaved and washed my hair all with rivers trailing down my cheeks.  The sound of the door startled me and I knew he was home.  I wanted to call out to him, but there was no point. 

             
A knock at the bathroom door caused me to sit up, splashing my precious hot water over the edges and onto the floor

             
“Come in,” I said, knowing it was Mad.

             
He came in, eyes squeezed to tightly shut. “Mad, I’m mostly covered, you’re gonna hurt yourself.”

             
He opened his eyes but never looked at me, he barely looked in the direction of the bathtub.  He knelt next to the bathtub and knocked his forehead on the edge of it.  As he began to speak, he kept his head there. 

             
“Storey, I’m so sorry.  I cut myself off from you.  I pushed you away.  Instead of letting you in, I alienated you.”

             
I pulled my knees in so all my parts would be covered.

             
“Mad, look at me, all the important parts are covered.”

             
He slowly lifted his head, making sure of my modesty before opening his eyes all the way.  I rested my left cheek on my knees, waiting for him to continue.

             
“I just felt alone again, isolated.  But then I really looked at Rex, really looked at his life.  I’ve been so stupid.  I’m not isolated, or alone at all.  And if I am, it’s my own fault.  Rex has no one.  Well, he does now.  I asked him and he said he wanted to come back to Louisiana with me.”

             
“I knew you would.  I had faith in you.”

             
He half smiled and looked me directly in the eyes.  His green one was darker today and his brown one was verging on black. 

             
“Well, that makes one of us.  So, can you forgive me?”

             
I didn’t want this to become the way we handled things in the future.  I couldn’t take him pushing me away every time something happened.  If we were gonna clear that up, it would have to be now.

             
“I will always forgive you Mad.  But you can’t do that to me again.  Next time something happens run
to
me.  Let me help you.  And even if I can’t help you, at least let me hold your hand while you fix it.  Agree to that or else we’re over.”

             
That got his attention, he sat up and looked shocked.  But shock was what I needed.  I wouldn’t go through this again.

             
“I won’t.  I missed you so much and I knew I was hurting you but I was trapped in a cell I made myself.  You won’t be able to get rid of me anymore.”

             
“Ok.  Now I need to finish up and put some clothes on.”

             
“That’s my cue.” He opened the bathroom door again and stopped before closing the door behind him all the way, “Storey, sweetheart, would you mind hurrying up?”

             
My eyebrows furrowed, “Why?”

             
He looked down, ashamed and flexing his fingers like they hurt, “Because I’ve been a complete bastard for three or four days now.  And when I realized it this morning, my whole body reminded me of how much I miss you.  How I miss your hair curled around my fingers, the feel of your tiny hands on my stomach, the way mine mold to your hips, your lips that taste like vanilla.  Honey, I ache for you.  I deserve for you to torture me for a long time but I just can’t take much more.”

             
With that he closed the door and I’ve never finished a bath so quickly.  I got dressed and barely ran a comb through my hair and a brush over my teeth before seeking him out.  He sat on the bed, mentally taking inventory of all my boxes. 

             
“You’re gonna need a U-haul for all this.  Rex can drive the Rover.  I will drive the U-Haul and you can drive the Jeep.  But I was looking forward to spending that time on the road with you.”  He pushed his lower lip out, causing his dimple to crevice. 

             
“Or…Falcon and Reed can drive the Jeep while you and I drive the U-Haul.” I cringed after I said it.  I didn’t know if he’d be pissed or not.

             
“It was that bad, huh?” He reached out a hand to me.

             
“I,” My voice caught in my throat, “I thought maybe it was me.  Maybe I wasn’t enough to help you.  And I know how much you love your family, so I thought they could snap you out of it. So I called them, they’ll be here tomorrow.”

             
“Come here, please.” He ordered, despite a clenched jaw. 

             
I stood in front of him for all of six seconds before he hoisted me onto the bed next to him on my back, wet hair sticking to my face.

             
He crawled towards me and when he was face to face with me, he let his body relax on top of mine. The weight of him on me made me feel safe, and his warmth pressed at the doors on my heart.  He took his time plucking wet strands of hair from my face and then looked at me like I was a child who needed to be taught a lesson.

             
“You are more than enough to heal me of all my wounds.  Do you hear me?” I nodded. “And yes, I love my family, but my love for them will never compare to the love I have for you.  It’s completely different kind of love, stronger and deeper than anything I’ve ever felt.”

             
I couldn’t fight crying, it was futile.  “I love you Maddox.”

             
“I love you more and more every day. I can’t ever tell you how sorry I am.”

             
I giggled, “Well, you’ve got a long time to prove it.”

             
His lips were on my neck before I could finish the sentence.  They moved over my ear, “Storey, you are everything to me.” 

Chapter 36

Maddox

It’s funny how much one summer can change you.

             
She got a call from Falcon about nine o’clock the next morning.  He said they’d connected through Denver and would be in town within the next two hours.  Storey went into full panic mode.  She pulled out three dresses from the clothes she didn’t box up and showed them to me.

             
“Which one?”

             
“The white one.” She ran to the bathroom and I yelled out after her, “There aren’t any hearts on your ass, are there?”

             
She opened the door a crack and gave me an incredulous look, “That’s only on shorts, jeans and bikinis, jeez Maddox.”

             
I got dressed while she was in the bathroom.  She was talking to herself in the bathroom about how to fix her hair and what sandals to wear.  It was almost as cute as when she talked in her sleep, which she did, a lot.  Last night she talked to someone about being nervous meeting my parents.  But she had nothing to be nervous about.  My parents were amazing, and I owed the big apologies. 

             
She came out running, throwing on heart laden sandals that zipped halfway up her calf.  Then she ran back in the bathroom and I heard her dump clanky things in the sink—her make-up.  An hour later she emerged looking every bit Missy Hellcat.

             
“You know my brother is married, right,” I asked her.

             
“I’m just trying to make a good first impression Mad.  He’s your brother and she’s your best friend.”

             
I hugged her to me, “They’re gonna love you, just like I do.  And if they don’t, I’ll slug ‘em.”

             
“You will
not.
” She scoffed.

             
“No, but if they don’t’, they will just have to get over it.”

             
We left for the airport and got there just in time to pick them up.  Reed saw me, dropped everything she had in her hands and ran to me.  She jumped in my arms and wrapped her legs around me, screaming the whole time.

             
“I missed your guts!” She screamed.  She finally detangled from me and looked me in the eye.  “No, twitchy?” she said with the brightest smile I’d ever seen. “No twitchy,” I answered and that made her jump me again just because she could.