Down 'N' Derby (22 page)

             
He answered right away,
Of course.  What time?

             
I’ll be there at six.  We’re going to Big Bear. 

             
He took a minute to reply. 
Big Bear?  I’ll be ready.

             
I thought about it and texted him one more thing.

             
Bring a change of clothes, just in case.

             
He didn’t answer but I was sure he got the message.  I sat there until the water got cold again and even though I didn’t want to, I got out.  Liza knocked on the door a little later and we said some shallow goodbyes and never to be realized ‘see you laters’.  I packed up my things for the next day and an extra overnight bag in case we decided to stay or I needed to change. 

             
I laid in bed and replayed the night.  I couldn’t believe he’d carried that burden for so long.  It didn’t even make sense.  But sometimes when you carry a theory that long, especially a negative one about yourself, it takes a miracle to let it go.  And I was grateful I was his miracle. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

             
As we drove up to Big Bear, Maddox was like a new person.  He was funny and sarcastic.  He told me story after story about his family.  He told one story about his Dad, Chase, and some parrot named Paco.  He said the whole family loved Paco but one day he flew into the ceiling fan.  He said Owen threw such a fit that Chase actually tried to perform CPR on the bird, mouth to mouth and everything.  He said he pumped the bird’s chest with two fingers and tried to resuscitate him.  By the time he finished telling the story, I was laughing so hard I had to pull over on the side of the road.  I never could compose myself enough to drive.  Maddox had to drive the rest of the way. 

             
We got on set and Louise was there.  She pretty much ignored me, which was fine.  Maddox helped me bring my things into the dressing room and I hugged him before turning to get dressed.  I heard him say, ‘let me know if you need some inspiration’ and then he slapped my behind.  I turned around, absolutely shocked and completely inspired. 

             
“I think that was enough inspiration for the day Black.”

             
“Just trying to help,” he shrugged.  He left and I started the stage by stage routine of making myself pretty. 

             
I stepped out in a black halter dress, the middle was a corset with a leopard print.  My peep toe stilettos were black with leopard print roses over the toes.  The hairdresser had pinned my hair up in victory rolls and the rest of my hair was tied up in a black snood.  I loved the outfit and intended to buy it from the costume designer if they let me.  The cement outside the dressing room was filled with cracks and holes and I nearly killed myself halfway to my destination.  Strong arms caught me before I my knees touched the ground. 

             
“This road is shot to Hell.   Let me help you.”  I thought he would let me hold his arm or his hand—I was wrong.  He picked me up, honeymoon threshold style and carried me to the car.  He looked down at my shoes, turning my feet this way and that.

             
“Looks like you got the shoes right today, too bad.”

             
“What has gotten into you,” I asked him my voice sounding like I learned how to whisper in a saw mill. 

             
“You.” He smirked and then took a spot behind everyone else, folded his arms and watched me.  It was one of the longest shoots I’d ever been on.  By the time I was finished I’d posed with seven cars and changed outfits over twenty times.  I was completely exhausted.  And Maddox had been there the whole time, carrying me back and forth from changing to the car and back again.  He never complained or said anything except asking me if I was okay. 

             
There were some guys off to the side and I signed autographs after I was done.  Without the fans, I wouldn’t ever have made a dime and I knew it.  I looked over several times assuming I’d see jealousy or annoyance but there was none.  I walked out of the shoot with all twenty outfits and tons and tons of shoes.  He let me carry the bag of shoes, only because he carried everything else and he couldn’t manage one more bag. 

             
We both heaved out a breath of relief after getting everything in the car and were ready to leave. 

             
“Let’s stay here,” I said with only a shred of self-confidence.  I didn’t want him to read anything into it.  I just really didn’t feel like making the trip home. 

             
“That’s fine.  You haven’t eaten all day and you got sunburned a little right here,” he touched the bridge of my nose and the apples of my cheeks.  I didn’t even realize they had begun to burn. 

             
“Ok, let’s go find a hotel and order dinner in.”  He nodded and I used the app on my phone to find a swanky hotel.  I called and booked a room and within fifteen minutes we were checking in and dragging bags into the room.  It was a spacious, beautiful suite with a living room, a huge King sized bed that could be seen from the living area and the view of the mountains was like nothing I’d ever seen.  I perused the accommodations, room by room.  Maddox handed me a couple of pain pills and a bottled water. 

             
“Take those before tomorrow so your sunburn doesn’t start hurting.”  I complied and plopped down on the L-shaped suede couch.  I thumped my shoes one by one onto the floor and threw my feet onto the couch beside me.  Maddox sat at my feet and rubbed them one by one until I almost fell asleep.  He covered me with a blanket he retrieved from the bedroom.

             
“I’m not asleep.  I’m starving.”  I mumbled, so close to sleep it wasn’t funny.

             
“Let me order some food.  Just stay put.” He told me and damn him, I was too tired to argue.  My phone rang while he was ordering food and I had to wrestle with the junk in my purse to get to it.  I answered and it was Renee. 

             
“Hi Renee.” I sang to her.

             
“What’s up girl?  I haven’t heard from you in weeks.  What gives?”

             
“Um, I’ve been working and I’ve been seeing someone.” I could barely speak to her.  Maddox had gotten off of the phone and was leaned back against the kitchen area counter grinning ear to ear at me. 

             
“What, is he hot?  Tell me everything.”  Renee obviously didn’t realize I was right here with him. 

             
I felt the blush start before I could even get a sentence begun. “Hell yeah he’s hot. And he’s also right in front of me.  Can I call you later?”

             
“Oh shit, yeah, call me later.”

             
I pushed the red button to end the call and met his eyes again.  He came to sit in front of me on the coffee table.  I scrunched my eyes shut, embarrassed by my previous admittance. 

             
“So you think I’m hot?”  Ugh, I knew he wouldn’t let it go.

             
“Come on, you know you’re hot.”

             
He chuckled, “Yeah, but it doesn’t count unless
you
think I’m hot.”

             
I rolled my eyes at him.  But I loved this new Maddox.  He was liberated and happy.  I thought about just biting the bullet and kissing him because I almost couldn’t think of anything else since last night.  We sat there in a trance.  I knew we were both thinking about the same thing.  I could see the telltale look in his eyes.  There was a knock on the door and he leaned forward as I bowed my head in aggravation and he kissed my head where my hair met my forehead.  It wasn’t what I truly wanted but it would suffice for the time being. 

             
He brought in bags and bags of Chinese food.  He’d remembered what I liked and ordered Bourbon chicken for himself.  We sat at the table and ate without talking, both starving. I was dead on my feet and fantasized about a hot bath but just couldn’t bring myself to get up from the table.  Maddox got up and picked up the Chinese cartons and got rid of the trash. And I just sat there, a lump of lazy.

             
He went to the restroom and returned.  I could smell the cinnamon from his toothpaste as he passed by me.  He clapped his hands together and looked at me.

             
“Ok, so you have two choices,” He smiled. “One, a hot bath with tons and tons of bubbles, so much that you will look like a bubble monster.  And the second choice, movies in that big bed with me—Pick.”

             
I squinted my eyes at him.  Both were tempting at this point.  “Both,” I answered. 

             
“Ha!  That’s my girl.  I’m going to turn on the hottest water Big Bear can give and then I’m coming after you.”

             
I waited until he left the room before kicking my legs and doing a little silent dance at the phrase ‘my girl’.  I couldn’t help it.  He made me feel like I was in love for the first time.  A shadow of regret overtook me as I heard the water turn on in the bathroom.  I regretted Simon.  I regretted those years I’d given to him.  I regretted everything I’d given to him. Maddox wasn’t the only one finding something for the first time.  I had found my first love in him.

             
I wandered into the bedroom and propped myself up against the door jamb.  Maddox was bent over the tub testing the water temperature.  One day when I met his mom and dad I would have to thank them for raising him to be this incredible man—and I had only known him a few weeks. 

             
He turned around and looked at me, almost smiling, his dimple in full force.

             
“Why are you like this,” I asked him.

             
“Like what?” He looked down at himself as if I spoke of how he dressed or how impossibly handsome he was. 

             
“You treat me like…I don’t know.” And I really didn’t know how to explain it. 

             
He walked over to me and moved a slip of my hair behind my shoulder and touched the skin that flowed from my neck to my shoulder.  “I treat you like what?  Just say it.”

             
How could I say it?  When I said the words to Simon it was robotic and cold and I never meant a single syllable.  “You treat me like you love me.”

             
He nodded and then moved towards the door.  “Relax, take as long as you want. I’ll be out here waiting for you.”

             
As he shut the door I retaliated, “That’s not the way to get me to take my time.”  I heard him chuckle before the door clicked.

             
The bathtub was a huge garden tub in the center of the room.  I stripped down putting all of my clothes on the vanity.  I took a look in the mirror and could see the outlines the sun had drawn on me.  My cheeks were red on the apples and the bridge of my nose looked angry.  I shrugged and got into the bathtub and if Maddox weren’t waiting for me on the other side of the door, I would’ve stayed there all night.

Chapter 32

Mad

It was all I could do not to maul her so-called fans earlier.  They looked at her like she was a lamb to the slaughter and they’d just sharpened their cleavers.

             
I stood and stared out the window the whole time she was in the bath.  I had to affix my attention on something other than the fact that she was completely naked and the only thing that separated us was a four inch thick door.  Every time I heard the water splash I lost a little bit of sanity.  I finally made myself go into the other room and sat on the couch.  I found a movie on and it somewhat distracted me from the object of my desire.

             
She’d been absolutely spot on earlier.  I did treat her like I loved her—there was no doubt that I did.  Something had changed the night before.  She changed me.  She was completely right.  I wasn’t nine year old Maddox anymore, holding onto scars and nitpicking memories.  The touching thing was him; it was that Maddox defending himself.  It made no sense.  I didn’t kill my mother—a disease did.  I felt like an idiot for spending so many years of my life in defense.  She flicked a light on in my life.  I sat there for hours berating myself for the years I’d spent on pins and needles.

             
I heard the bathroom door open and I stood in recognition.  Her face was stuck between the door and the jamb looking at me. 

             
“What’s wrong?” I asked her.

             
“Um, can you hand me my robe?  It’s on top in my bag.” She made a cringe face after she finished.  I didn’t mind at all.

             
I got the flimsy thing from her bag and it slipped through the fraction of open door easily.  I scrubbed my face as I realized she was about to come out of that bathroom in nothing but that robe.