Doubting Thomas (Tarnished Saints Series) (22 page)

He leaned forward and gently brushed his lips against hers. She could smell the tangy scent of aftershave and feel the soft skin of his newly shaven face against her cheek. She moaned in anticipation.

“There’ll be no distractions this time,” he promised her. “Tonight is just for us.”

He swept her off her feet and carried her to the bed, and Angel squealed with delight. She laughed giddily as he put her down on the mattress. Then he stared into her eyes, drinking her in, and all but whispered, “Do you want me, Angie?”

“I do,” came her quick reply, once again sealing their vow of marriage.

That was all he needed to hear. His hands reached down to his waist and in one quick motion he removed his briefs.

Angel couldn’t help herself. Her gaze swept down his chest and settled at his nether region. She gasped at his full arousal.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, kneeling on the bed and moving toward her. The feel of the new satin sheets below her was soft and slippery, and when she tried to sit up, he moved atop her and she slipped back down.

“I guess I’m just nervous, Thomas. It’s been such a long time.”

“You’re telling me.”

His mouth was upon hers again, and his hands caressed her shoulders. She surrendered to the moment, closing her eyes, enjoying the kiss and also the taste of Thomas on her lips. Her body warmed when he nibbled at her collar bone, and when his fingers swept past her strap and he pulled her negligee away, baring one breast, anticipation peaked.

“I’ve waited a long time for this, sweetheart. You’ve been driving me crazy, and I just have to have you.”

His mouth came down on her breast and she moaned in pleasure. Then he repeated the action on her twin side, making her squirm beneath him.

“I want you, too, Thomas. We never got to share our wedding bed and I felt slighted.”

“Well, I promise to make up for all that tonight.” His hands caressed her hips and in one motion he’d pulled down her panties and crawled between her legs. He used his hand to ready her, and she didn’t need much coaxing.

She arched her back, pushing against his hand feeling her body crying out for him, trying to draw him in. Then he slid his hands up her body followed by his mouth as he kissed her skin, making his way back to her breasts which he pushed together and ran his tongue across, flicking it and bringing her to peaks. She moaned in elation as he suckled her like a babe trying to get milk from its mother.

She grabbed his long hair in her hands and pushed his face into her bosom, loving the intimacy between them. Then he raised his face, just inches from her and she saw a need in his eyes. A need that went far beyond that of finding a sexual release.

“Accept me, Angie. For who I am.”

He mounted her then, and the feeling of having him so near made her swell with desire. She cried out in passion when he thrust inside her. She raised her hips to meet him over and over again as they both found their way to a satisfied completion.

He wasn’t much for foreplay, but she hadn’t needed it. She had been just as ready for this as him. And it was so worth the wait.

“Oh, God, this is wonderful,” he mumbled into her ear, panting to catch his breath, and at the same time holding himself up on his elbows so he wouldn’t smash her.

“I love you, Thomas,” she said, true to her heart, not considering he may not return the compliment. He looked in her eyes, kissed her on the mouth and then rolled over to the side.

“You truly were the answer to my prayers . . . Angel.”

Angel sat up quickly, not sure she’d heard him right. He’d called her by her name, not his nickname for her, and it took her by surprise.

“You called me Angel,” she said with a smile.

“That’s because you are an angel, sweetheart.” He reached out and brushed a lock of hair away from her face.

“I didn’t think you’d ever call me that.”

“I can and I will, if that’s what you want. But I rather liked calling you Angie.”

She thought for a moment, and the sound of Angie rang out, giving it intimacy she’d never known. He’d been the only one to ever call her that, and she’d grown fond of his little endearment. It was something special between them. Something no one would call her, but him.

“Angie is nice,” she said. “And special. You can call me that.”

“And you can call me Tom if you want, although I’ve grown accustomed to Thomas.”

“Then Thomas it’ll be.”

He reached out for her, the look in his eyes telling her he wanted to make love again, but Angel stopped him.

“We have all night for this,” she told him with a smile. “I’m not sure dinner will keep, and I’m starved.”

“Then let’s have dinner,” he said, getting up totally naked and walking to the bedroom door.

“But you’re naked,” she said with a laugh.

“The curtains are drawn and the kids gone for the night. No one will see us.” He came back, reached over and removed her negligee over her head. “Come on, Angie, let’s eat naked. When will we ever have the chance to do this again?”

“Okay,” she said, totally amazing herself by her answer. “Let’s go.”

After a quick stop in the bathroom to clean up, they made their way to the kitchen. Once in the kitchen, he brought a large pot over from the stove and lifted the top. In it sat a whole dinner.

“Duck a la orange, wild rice and asparagus,” he announced.

“Mmmm,” she said, taking in a whiff. “Smells delicious. But I thought you couldn’t cook.”

“Who said that?”

“The kids.”

“The kids just don’t know good food when they see it. Of course, I can’t say we’ve had a lot of good food lately. I may have burned a few meals or overcooked a piece of meat, but that doesn’t make me a bad cook. I’ve even baked tonight in the new oven, and damn it felt good. Apple pie with cinnamon and raisins for dessert.”

“I thought we already had dessert,” she said in a husky voice. He held up a piece of asparagus and it flopped over. “I guess it went limp,” she said with a giggle.

“Well, I know something that isn’t.” He put down the food and leaned over to kiss her, running his hands down her shoulders and over her breasts in the process, his fingertips grazing her nipples and making them go taut. “Are you sure you’re hungry for food and not something else?” he spoke lowly into her ear, letting his tongue flick at her lobe.

“The food can wait,” she said, looking up and putting her hands around his shoulders.

He swept her right out of the chair and up into his arms. He carried her to the living room in front of the fireplace and laid her on a soft pile of blankets she hadn’t even noticed were there.

“What’s this?” she asked. “You’re not taking me to the bedroom?”

“Haven’t you ever made love anywhere but a bed, Angie?”

“I can’t say I have.”

“Then it’s time to change all that.” He lay her back on the blankets and she felt the heat of the fire from the hearth.

“I’ve never heard of having a fire in the middle of summer.”

“It’s called romance,” he told her kissing her face, her neck, and then letting his kisses trail down her collar bone.

“It’s called crazy.”

“Welcome to my world, Mrs. Taylor.”

Angel’s heart beat faster at the sound of his words. She’d never even thought of herself as Mrs. Taylor before. But that was now her title. She was now his wife. His kisses trailed lower and lower on her body and when he surprised her with his tongue between her legs, she gasped in surprise.

“Oh, Mr. Taylor,” she said with a moan. “I do think I’m going to enjoy being your wife.”

Chapter 20

Angel woke the next morning to the sound of pounding at the front door. She sat up with a start, and noticed Thomas was already out of bed and half dressed.

“Who could that be?” she asked, squinting at the mantle clock. “I thought the kids weren’t coming back until noon.”

“I don’t know,” he said, irritation showing in his voice. “But whoever it is, they had better have a damn good reason for disturbing my honeymoon.”

Thomas stormed from the room and Angel jumped out of bed, throwing her robe over her naked body. She had hoped to wake up slowly in Thomas’s arms and make love at least once more before having to start her day. Last night had been so wonderful, she didn’t want any of this to end. She’d seen a soft, gentle side of Thomas. A side he’d kept hidden from most everyone, including himself.

When she got to the other room, Thomas already had the door wide open, buttoning his shirt as he spoke. She could see it was Gus who had disturbed them. The scant hair he had on his head was tossed and his clothes looked rumpled as if he’d put them on in a hurry.

“What the hell do you want, Gus? I’m on my honeymoon.”

“Why don’t ya get a dang phone then, Thomas? Then the nursing home could have called you instead of me.”

“What?” Thomas looked up, his actions stilling. “Is something the matter with Ma?”

“She died this morning. That’s what I’m trying to tell ya. The nursing home said they didn’t know how to reach you, and you gave them my number for emergencies.”

“Ma’s dead?” He held onto the doorframe for support and Angel thought she saw him waver. She heard the shock and the disappointment in Thomas’s voice, their intimate time together now ending in tragedy. She bit her lip and waited, wanting to run to comfort him, but knowing he needed a minute to digest the horrible news.

“You need to get down there right away,” Gus told him.

“All right, I will. Thanks, Gus.”

Thomas closed the door, not turning, but laying his head against it instead. Angel walked up behind him and put her arms around his waist in a hug.

“I’m so sorry, Thomas.”

He turned to face her and took her in his arms. He hugged her tightly, and she could feel his need for comfort.

“I don’t know why I’m so rattled,” he told her. “It’s not like it was a surprise. I knew it would happen sooner or later. God, I wish I could have visited her one more time before she went.”

“You were close to your mother, weren’t you?”

“I was,” he admitted. “But more so before she forgot who I was. I used to take the kids every Sunday to see her. But then they stopped wanting to go. She didn’t know them anymore, and often was mean and angry. I didn’t think it was a good atmosphere for the little ones. I went alone to see her for the past few years. But then this whole damn thing with Fawn blew up in my face. The caregivers at the home started whispering behind my back and looking at me when they thought I didn’t notice. So I stopped going to see her. I felt odd sitting there talking to a woman who no longer knew me. But in a way I loved her more for that. Because, you see, she couldn’t judge me like the rest. Then again, even if she had her memory, she still wouldn’t have judged me. Ma was fair. She loved every one of her sons more than a fish loves water.”

“She sounds like she was a special woman. Let me come with you today.”

“No.” He pushed away. “This is something I have to do myself. Besides, I need you here for the kids. Can you tell them what happened for me?”

“I will,” she nodded. “What did your mother die from?”

“Gus didn’t say. But it could have been anything as her health hasn’t been stable for some time now.”

He hurriedly grabbed his shoes from the bedroom, tying them on, and then running a brush through his hair.

“I’m sorry this has to ruin our honeymoon,” he told her.

“It’s not your fault,” she answered, kissing him lightly on the lips. “Besides, it’s not really our honeymoon. Just the wedding night, that’s all.”

“Angie,” he told her, taking her by the shoulders and looking into her eyes. “I don’t know how I’d ever afford to take you on a honeymoon. God knows I’d like to take you somewhere special, just the two of us, and treat you the way an angel should be treated.”

Her heart went out to him. She could see the love in his eyes, though he hadn’t been able to tell her, and also the sincerity of his words.

“It’s all right, Thomas. I don’t need a honeymoon, as long as I’ve got you.”

* * *

Angel watched Thomas speed away in the truck, then closed the door and walked into the kitchen. She took in the sweet smell of the roses, and reached out gingerly to touch one of the soft petals. That’s when she spied the card from the flowers. It was on the table where she’d left it. She picked it up and read it once again, and smiled. Thomas had gone to a lot of trouble trying make it a romantic night. And she was sure he had used up the last of his money to do it. This card was special to her, but she didn’t want the kids to find it. It would embarrass both of them if they did.

“I know where to hide it,” she said aloud, putting a few dishes in the sink. Then, taking the card with her, she headed out to the pole barn. Thomas always kept the top drawer of his desk locked with a key. This was where he kept his special things, his private things. Things he didn’t want anyone else to touch. Like the gun that disappeared. She decided she’d put it in there and surprise him the next time he looked inside.

She got to the desk and was about to slip the card into the crack at the top of the drawer, when curiosity overcame her. She had seen Thomas looking at something the other day that he had put back into this drawer when she entered. Something he didn’t want her to see.

She wondered what it could be. It was an envelope of some kind. She smiled, suddenly wondering if he’d been planning another surprise for her. Maybe somehow he had gotten tickets to somewhere for a honeymoon, and just wanted to keep it a surprise. If that was the case, she wanted to know so she could surprise him in return.

“I can’t stand it anymore,” she said deviously, going through the pencil holder on the desk, finding a paper clip. Just what she needed. She opened it long ways and stuck it into the lock on the drawer. She’d used this trick when she was a child and her foster parents had locked away her toys inside their old desk drawer as a punishment. Little did they know she sneaked in there every night and removed them, taking them to her bed to play with before secretly returning them in the morning. It was a child’s prerogative to snoop where they shouldn’t be. Every kid knew this. Temptation was just too overbearing at the sweet age of five or six.

But she was an adult, not a child. She knew she shouldn’t be doing this, but something inside just drove her forward. She wanted to know Thomas better, and if he had a hard time communicating with her, then she’d have to find other ways to understand her husband on her own.

She pushed the paperclip into the drawer and wiggled it around. To her amazement, the trick still worked. The lock sprang open and she slowly pulled the drawer outward. Inside the desk sat several things. A photo of Thomas with an auburn-haired woman. A woman who could only be the boys’ mother. Zeke resembled this woman more than the rest with his red hair and face of freckles and bright green eyes.

“She was beautiful,” Angel whispered, putting down the photo and spying a box at the back of the drawer. It was a small velvet box and her heart thumped, thinking he may have gotten her a ring - a real ring after all. She looked at his earring on her finger and kissed it, then slowly reached out for the box.

She flipped it open, and inside saw something that surprised her. It wasn’t a woman’s ring, but a man’s. A man’s worn gold band that could only be his from his first marriage to Brianne. And when she went to touch it, she realized that his dead wife’s ring was there as well, pushed down into the velvet so far that she’d almost missed it.

She realized that this woman still held a place in his heart. She couldn’t blame him. After all, she was the mother of five of his children. But now she knew why Thomas had not been able to return her endearment when she’d told him she loved him. He was still in love with his deceased wife.

She snapped the ring box shut, now wishing she had never broken into his drawer. She was about to close it, when she remembered about the envelope. She picked it up slowly, reading the return address on it, realizing it was from a life insurance company. Why had Thomas been hiding this?

She pulled out the contents, and in it sat a check for one hundred thousand dollars. She gasped. Thomas had money after all, yet he was pretending to be poor. She just didn’t understand. She pulled out the letter and read it, seeing that this was the insurance money from Fawn’s death. Six months ago this had been issued, and Thomas had never cashed it.

Why? she wondered. Why hadn’t he used the money to raise the kids properly instead of risking the fact they might be taken away? None of this made any sense.

“Angie? What are you doing?”

She spun around so fast, the check went flying from her hand and landed at her feet. There stood Thomas, hurt in his eyes, and she felt like such a traitor for betraying his trust. How could she ever explain this to him?

“Thomas! I thought you’d gone to the nursing home.”

“I left in such a hurry I forgot my wallet, and had to come back.”

He walked forward, bent down and scooped up the check. His eyes were dark and angry, his face set firm with his mouth in a straight line as he noticed the open desk drawer and the paperclip stuck in the lock.

“You broke into my desk?” he asked, the shock and disappointment dripping from his words.

“It’s not what you think,” she tried to explain. “I just . . . I just . . .” What else could he think? She had broken into his desk and now the reason didn’t matter. She’d worked so hard to gain his trust after having done him wrong in the beginning, and now with one stupid action, she’d severed the thread of hope between them holding together their hasty marriage.

“You’re still spying on me, aren’t you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I no longer work for Child Services. I married you so you could keep your kids. You know that.”

“Do I?” His fist closed tightly, the check inside crumbling to a ball.

“Why didn’t you ever cash the insurance check, Thomas? I don’t understand. You had the means to help the kids all along and yet you chose to ignore it.”

“That’s considered negligence in a court case, isn’t it?” asked Thomas. “Why don’t you run to your friends at Child Services and tell them? Go on, Angie. Or just tell the sheriff. I’m sure good ol’ Bert would love to hear all about it.”

“I’m sure you have your reason for not cashing it.”

“I do, but what would he care? He won’t believe I never cashed the check because I didn’t want anything from Fawn. Not after he’d had her, as well as almost every patron at Burley’s. I have my pride, Angie. I won’t take money from a whore to raise my kids. Not from a woman who made me look like the biggest fool in the state of Michigan, even if she is dead.”

“That’s why you didn’t cash it?” she asked in surprise.

“Why else?” he asked.

“Well, I just thought . . . I don’t know.”

“You thought maybe I killed Fawn and felt too guilty to use the money, didn’t you?”

“No.”

“Or maybe you thought I just wasn’t sure if I’d done it, and wanted to wait until they found the murder weapon to clear my aching conscious first?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t need to. And that’s what everyone will think once they find out. They’ll think I never cashed this godforsaken check because I’m guilty. But that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense now, does it? If I had killed her for the money, I would have cashed it and ran long ago. By not cashing this check, it proves I’m innocent. But the sheriff and the townsfolk won’t see it that way. To them I’m already the bad guy. An outsider, though I’ve lived here my entire life. And in little towns, outsiders aren’t accepted easily.”

“Then what does it matter? Why don’t you cash it?” she asked boldly. “Lord knows you and the kids could use the money.”

“Money can’t buy back a man’s dignity and pride! It can’t buy back the people you loved and trusted. It can’t make a man happy. I think perhaps a man is much better off without it.”

He pulled out a book of matches from the desk drawer and lit one.

“Thomas, what are you doing?” she asked frantically. “That’s the future of your boys.”

“No, Angie. It’s not their future, it’s my past. A past I should have rid myself of long ago.” He put the match to the check and it caught afire.

“That’s a hundred thousand dollars you’re burning! Are you crazy?”

She reached out for it, but he held the burning check away. The flame consumed it quickly, and he stamped out the embers on the ground. She squeezed her eyes closed for a moment, knowing he had done something he would someday regret.

“It’s gone now,” he told her with a clenched jaw. “And with it are gone the demons of my past. Gone is the farce of a marriage to Fawn that never should have been in the first place.”