Double Trouble (12 page)

Chapter 22.

We demolished the aforementioned chocolates and wine in an indecently speedy fashion and decided to finish the note puzzles once and for all by going to the hill that Maureen had mentioned.

“What about
Jan
?” I whispered to Stephanie, when I knew Janice couldn’t overhear.

“We can’t do anything right now,” Stephanie whispered back. “We don’t even know what’s
wrong
with her. It’s best if she comes with us so we can keep an
eye
on her.”

Two hours later found us on a windy wind-swept cliff, looking eagerly around for an eagle’s nest. The outer side of the cliff was, indeed yellow, due to the clay strata, so we believed we had arrived at the correct location, but there wasn’t a nest to be seen.

“Could we have interpreted it incorrectly?” Maureen wanted to know. “I was so
sure
we had it right.”

“I thought so too,” I agreed, putting my arm around Maureen’s waist. She snuggled up against me, because the air was rather chilly on the exposed cliffs.

“What do we do now?” I asked Stephanie. She started to reply but was interrupted by a shout from Janice.

“I’ve
found
it!” Janice cried.

“I’ll just
bet
you have,” Stephanie murmured, a knowing look in her eye.

I looked at her strangely. “You know something
about
all of this, don’t you?” I whispered.

“I’m beginning to form an hypothesis about Jan’s behaviour, yes,” she replied. “She knows far more than she
thinks
she knows.”

“What do you mean by
that
cryptic remark?” Maureen asked.

“
Shh
! I’ll tell you later,” Stephanie answered. “Here she comes.”

Janice returned, clutching a piece of paper encased in a plastic bag. “It’s the note,” she exclaimed gaily. “The nest was in a small cave over there.” She waved her hand vaguely behind her.

“And
how
did you know the nest would be where it was?” Stephanie asked, looking at Janice closely.

“Why, I just
knew
,” Janice replied, a little confusedly. “The image simply popped into my mind all of a sudden.”

“Very good, Jan,” Stephanie said, gently. “May I have the note, please?”

“Of course,” Janice said, handing over the plastic wrapper but shaking her head in negation at the same time.

“Thank you, Jan,” Stephanie said softly, watching Janice carefully. “I think that matters are finally coming to a head. Let me read out what the note says.”

This is the end, where all is revealed. At last I can come out of the background and take over. Stephanie, I love you. Why have you always ignored me? No longer! I have come to claim what is mine.

“Stef,” I exclaimed, “it was
you
all along? But who wrote the notes?”

“
Jan
did,” Stephanie answered calmly, “but
not
the Jan we know.”

“So, you worked it all
out
, did you, Miss Clever Britches?” Janice retorted. “I should have
known
you would.”

“Could you explain what the hell is going on, Stef?” Maureen begged. “What’s Jan going on about? What’s happening?”

“It’s a case of
dual
personalities,” Stephanie replied. “The
original
Jan, the one
we
know, couldn’t reconcile her attraction to me with her strict upbringing and so, to handle the stress, and to prevent a major breakdown, she unknowingly developed
another
personality, Jan
Two
. Jan One knows nothing about Jan Two who is almost the complete
opposite
of Jan One. Jan Two can do all the things Jan One would
like
to do but can’t, due to her rigid morals.”

“Very observant,” sneered Janice. “I congratulate you, but this isn’t solving why I brought you here. Allow me to
demonstrate
.” With that, she leapt to Stephanie’s side and grabbed her around her middle with one hand while drawing a knife from a pocket with the other and holding it against Stephanie’s throat.

“Don’t do anything
foolish
, ladies, especially
you
, Kim,” Janice said grimly. “If I can’t have Stef, then
nobody
can. Don’t
doubt
me on this.”

“You’d
hurt
the one you claim to love?” Maureen criticised.

“She won’t
let
me love her!” wailed Janice. “What else
can
I do?”

“To be fair, honey,” Stephanie said, calmly, “I didn’t even know you even
existed
until a little while ago.”

“Always ready with a
clever
remark, aren’t you?” snarled Janice, jerking the knife closer to Stephanie’s throat.

“But it’s true,” Maureen protested. “
None
of us knew about you.
Please
don’t hurt Stef! She only wants to help you. We
all
do.”

“So you say,” Janice scowled. “It’s fine for
you
, Maureen. You and Kim Pretty Face over there are knocking boots together, aren’t you? You wouldn’t let me join in. Oh no, you think you’re much too
good
for me, don’t you? Well, it’s too late now.
I’m
in charge of Janice and I’ll never be pushed into background
ever
again! Stef
will
love me and we’ll all live together. All happy. Forever. Do you
hear
me!”

“We hear you, Jan,” Stephanie said. “Calm down. Don’t get
excited
. It’s not good for you.”

“More good
advice
, Stef?” Janice shouted. “That’s all you ever do,
isn’t
it? You’re always
full
of advice. You always know what’s best for
everyone
, don’t you? You think you’re so smart. But you’re not clever enough to see
love
when it’s staring you in the face. Why
don’t
you love me, Stef?
Why
?” Janice began to cry. The knife in her hand wavered and I saw my chance. I scooped a small stone off the ground near my feet and flicked it at her. It hit her knife hand and she dropped the weapon with a curse. Stephanie dived and rolled away from Janice, who simply stood there, looking bewildered.

“What are you lot
doing
?” she demanded, “and why is
Stef
playing in the dirt?”

“It’s a long story, Jan,” Stephanie answered, getting to her feet and brushing herself down. “Anyway,
welcome
back.”

“I’ve been
somewhere
?” Janice remarked, in confusion. “I don’t remember anything about it.”

“It was a strange journey,” Stephanie said, linking arms with Janice and steering her back down the path. “It all started when you developed a little crush on someone.”

“I
did
?” Janice asked. “Really? Who was it? I can’t recall being involved with anyone. I’m so
confused
right now. My mind seems to be all
over
the place for some reason.”

“You couldn’t let Jan Two actually
hurt
me in the end,” Stephanie concluded. “It was too drastic a step for your sense of morality and so you came back to take control.”

“Jan
Two
?” Janice echoed. “Stef, you’re babbling. Could you please explain what’s going on here?”

“For sure, sweetie,” Stephanie answered, putting her arm around Janice’s waist and pulling her closer.

“Stef, what are you
doing
?” Janice asked, blushing a little.

“Just giving you a little moral support, honey,” Stephanie replied. “It’s something you’ve badly
needed
recently.”

“Oh,” said Janice. “If you say so. I have to say that it
does
feel nice.”

“Of course it does,” Stephanie told her. “
Everyone
needs a little companionship now and again.” She turned around and asked Maureen, who was walking behind her, holding my hand, “Am I
right
, guys?”

“Right as rain,” Maureen agreed, a satisfied smile on her face, glancing affectionately at me. “Everyone needs loving, even
you
, Stef.”

Chapter 23.

And that’s where the adventure of the puzzle notes came to a conclusion. But not quite, really. We took Janice back to Stephanie’s place where Stephanie tried her best to convince Janice of the existence of Jan Two. Janice refused to believe there
was
such a person, and it took the combined testimony of all
three
of us, swearing on a stack of bibles, before we could convince her. She reluctantly agreed to seek treatment for her condition and Stephanie, moved by Janice’s plight, vowed to be with her every step of the way. During Janice’s recovery, they became closer and closer to each other and, although they couldn’t be classified as ‘lovers’, I could tell that it wouldn’t be long before it turned
out
that way. I was delighted for the both of them.

Meanwhile, Maureen and I went from strength to strength. She retained her delightful endearing innocence and childlike wonder and I grew to love her more every day. For the first time in ages, I considered myself to be truly happy, until……...

END

- Hey, is that any way to
end
a story?

- What do you mean?

- ‘Until……’ What do you call
that
?

- I call it ‘leaving the readers in
suspense
until the next time’.
Every
writer does it.

- No, they
don’t
. It’s
weird
.

- Well, excuse
me
for trying something different.

- But they’ll start to imagine all
sorts
of endings.

- I know. That’s what I want. I want them to think for
themselves
; to exercise their
imaginations
.

- You’ll get
complaints
.

- What do I care? The
real
readers, the
sophisticated
ones, those who are truly enlightened, will appreciate it.

- You hope.

- I
know
. I happen to be one
myself
, and I’ll think it’s a
great
way to end a story.

-
You’re
a sophisticated reader?
You
?

- Of
course
, me. Don’t be so sarcastic.

- I’m
sorry
, your highness, I don’t know what I was thinking. Your striptease act
does
certainly add to your aura of sophistication, doesn’t it? I mean, it’s so
glamorous
, isn’t it?

- Don’t be
mean
. The whole act was extremely classy. Ask anyone who was there.

- Why not? Perhaps I’ll ask
Maureen
, who wanted only to see you without your clothes. Or, maybe
Janice
, who was suffering a split personality and was sending herself notes without knowing. Or, how about Stephanie, who
fibbed
about everything concerning herself. Which one of those impartial witnesses should I ask, eh? Go on,
pick
one.

- Watch yourself! These women are some of my best friends and I won’t hear a bad word against them.

- Suit yourself. Well, that filled up another half page. Is that what you wanted?

- Close enough. It’ll do.

END

Sample Chapters from ‘Multiples’

Chapter 1

This adventure started like
all
of our adventures do, with
me
being entirely clueless and totally unaware until we were in the thick of it and, by then, of course, it was too late to back out or to do anything about it. I hate when that happens. It all began, once upon a time, when the world was young and innocent, and my sister received an official letter….

- And just
what
are you babbling about?

- I was going for the ‘fairy tale beginning’ look.

- Well,
stop
it! It’s
silly
.

- That’s just
your
opinion. I like it.

- So what?
Who’s
in charge around here?

- Actually, I am.

- Oh. Are you
sure
?

- Positive.

- That’s not how I remember it at
all
.

- It’s not
my
fault if you have a defective memory.

As I was saying, Kim received an official looking letter in the mail. I
knew
it was official because it had the word ‘Official’ stamped across the front of it.

-Well, that’s just….

-
Don’t
say it.

“What’s
that
?” I asked.

“Haven’t a clue,” she said.

“You might
get
one if you opened it up,” I advised.

“Gee, I never would have
thought
of that,” she snorted, sarcastically. “Lucky for me
you’re
here to tell me these things.”

“
Open
it, already,” I commanded, “and stop trying to be funny. You don’t
do
funny very well.”

“Neither do
you
,” she answered.

“I do it
better
than you,” I replied. “
Open
the letter.”

“Okay,
okay
,” she said, slitting the envelope open with a knife. “Keep your hair on. What a
grouch
!” She commenced to read the letter, making little ‘Well, what do you
know
?’ and ‘Isn’t that a
shame
?’ comments under her breath.

“What does it
say
?” I asked, impatiently.

“
Hmmm
?” Kim replied, still engrossed in reading.

“The letter…. What does it say?” I repeated.

“Nothing much,” she answered, maddeningly, folding the letter and putting it in her pocket.

I took a deep, steadying breath.
Honestly
, there were times when I could have
strangled
her. “What’s – in – the – letter?” I said in a calm, deliberate voice, fully emphasising each syllable.

She grinned at my flushed face. “I
win
,” she gloated. “That’s sixty five to
me
and thirty one to you.”

“You’ve been keeping
score
of the times you drive me crazy?” I asked in astonishment.

“Sure,” she said offhandedly. “It helps to pass the time.”

“I don’t believe you for a
second
,” I announced. “No one is
that
crazy.”

“I know,” she said. “I was just kidding, but I made you think there for a bit,
didn’t
I?”

“The
letter
?” I asked, pointedly.

“Oh yeah,” she answered, drawing it back out from her pocket. “It seems that I’ve been invited to be present at a gala affair at
some
place next week to celebrate
something
or other.”

“You’re just a
library
of information, aren’t you?” I told her, snatching the letter from her hand and scanning the typed words.

“I try,” she answered. “I’ll leave all the tedious details to you.”

“You’re so
kind
to me,” I murmured, still reading. “Who’s Lord Bentley?”

“I went to school with his
daughter
, remember?” she informed me. “She was such a
snob
! Always going on about how her father was an aristocrat and all that. I didn’t like her very much. She was quite clever though, academically speaking, and always in the top three of the class. And that’s
another
reason we never got together. I was consistently in the
bottom
three. I wasn’t a good student in those days.”

“Then why are you getting this invitation?” I wanted to know.

“I can’t imagine,” I answered, truthfully. “Maybe it’s some sort of school class get together, or something.”

“
I’m
not going, am I?” I asked hopefully. “Those sorts of social occasions set my teeth on edge.”

Kim grabbed back the letter. “Of course you are,” she commanded. “It says I can invite a guest.
You’re
the guest. I’m certainly not going there by
myself
.”

“Take one of your
friends
,” I pleaded. “They’d probably
jump
at the chance of meeting an aristocrat.”

“I need a
male
escort for this,” she said firmly. “And since there’s
none
around, I guess that you’ll just have to do the best you can.”

“Oh, you’re
so
funny,” I commented. “Funny in the ‘
peculiar’
sense, that is. Not in the ‘humour’ aspect of the word.”

Kim grinned at me. “I try my best to be humorous,” she said, “but I can only work with the material I have to
hand
. You, that is. Maybe
that’s
why I’m not very funny.”

“Better,” I conceded. “Keep practicing and one day, in the
far
distant future, you may be able to make someone laugh.”

“Shut up,” she said, thus concluding the conversation.