Double Trouble (10 page)

Chapter 18.

I lost track of time during our embrace. Eventually, we had to surface for air and our lips reluctantly parted. I rested my arms midway on her shoulders and smiled into her glowing face. “A penny for your thoughts,” I quipped.

“A penny is way too
cheap
to pay for my thoughts right now,” she informed me. “They’re worth at least a
million
dollars.”

“Very well, then,” I told her. “A million
dollars
for your thoughts, then. I’ll pay you at the rate of a dollar a week.”

“That’s a
million
weeks,” she gasped, laughing. “How
long
do you think I’ll be alive?”

“Hey, we valets aren’t
made
of money, you know,” I kidded. “Our wages are fairly
poor
by industrial standards.”

Maureen laughed again and her fingers reached out to tenderly touch my face.

“Kim, sweetheart,” she confessed, “you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and you could have
anyone
you wanted in the whole world. I’m
stupid
to think that I’d have a chance with you. I’m just plain old Maureen, with
no
attributes worth speaking about. What am I doing even
touching
you? I apologise for forcing you into doing all these stunts. I was thinking only of my own selfish desires but I wanted so much to just hold you and to feel you holding me, even if I had to
trick
you into it. And I’m sorry for humiliating you with the striptease thing. That was simply a lecherous compulsion on my part to
ogle
you without your clothes. I won’t blame you in the
slightest
if you never want to see me again. You can let
go
of me now.”

“And why would I
want
to do that?” I murmured softly.

Maureen eyes filled with tears of self-reproach. “Because I don’t
deserve
to be with you like this,” she admitted in repentance. “Everything I’ve done so far has been only to satisfy my
own
desires. I haven’t even been a good
friend
. How can you even stand to be in the same
room
with me?”

“Because you’re sweet and desirable and exciting,” I replied. “I
want
to be with you, sweetie. I think we should see what happens if we stay together for awhile. Would you
like
that? I’m game if
you
are. But no more self-flagellation. You’re a marvellous person and you’re fine just the way you are.”

I never found out if Maureen was going to accept my offer or not because Stephanie’s voice sounded through the door at that stage. “Hey, you two in there,” she bellowed. “What the
devil
are you doing? It’s been
ages
! How
long
does one bath take, for heaven’s sake? Janice’s dinner is getting
cold
.”

Maureen and I looked at each other and laughed. She briefly rubbed at my front with the towel and I quickly dressed. We emerged to Stephanie’s amused glance and Janice’s frown - an interesting balance.

“About time,” Stephanie announced, with a knowing smirk. “Kim must be the
cleanest
object in the whole universe by now. Anyway, dinner awaits.”

We were led into the dining room and sat down to a wonderfully prepared meal. Janice had excelled herself. After the meal, we retired to the living room to try and puzzle out the note. Stephanie read it to us again.

Sorry, but I am becoming frustrated. I have you so near but am unable to touch. Look back to ancient times and popularity that never dies. Terror and love united. Calcification turns to stone and lives again for all to see. This is the second last step. The fourth semicircle of the end one is what you seek.

“The first sentence is strange,” Stephanie said, tapping the paper with her finger.

“The whole
thing
is strange,” grumbled Janice.

“Yes, but the first bit is
extra
strange,” Stephanie smiled. “The writer is saying that the person is
near
but can’t be touched. If they’re near,
surely
they can be touched, even if it’s accidently. I find that very odd.”

“Maybe it’s meant to be symbolic,” Maureen volunteered. “Like on a
spiritual
plane, maybe.”

“Perhaps,” mused Stephanie. “But we’ll worry about that later. How about the ancient times and the popularity? Just
how
ancient? Are we talking the Dark Ages, Medieval times or Stone Age? Any ideas anyone?”

No one could come up with anything until Janice, our decipher expert, made a suggestion.

“I think we’re going about this the wrong way,” she suggested.

“Go for it, Jan,” Stephanie told her. “You seem to be able to tune into the writer’s thought patterns. What should we be doing?”

“Instead of trying to work it out bit by bit, I believe we’d do better to look at the thing as a whole.”

“How do you mean?” Maureen asked.

“Okay, we have ancient times, popularity, terror, calcification, stone and living again. They seem to be the main descriptions of whatever it is. So, what is presently popular that combines
all
of those. It has to be something that no longer exists and is made of stone.”

“How do you know it no longer exists?” I asked, curiously.

“The note says that it lives
again
,” Janice replied. “If it lives again, it must have been
dead
in the first place.”

“Clever,” I said admiringly. “Jan, you’re so
good
at this.”

“It’s nothing,” she replied, brushing aside my praise.

“But if it no longer exists,” Maureen announced puzzled, “how can it be made of
stone
? And if it’s made of stone, it
must
be existing right now.”

“Ah, it had to have been something alive at
some
stage,” Stephanie supplied. “The word ‘lives’ gives it away. We’re after something that
lived
in ancient times. Hey, ‘lives’ and ‘gives’! Another rhyme, by the way.”

“Congratulations,” Janice said, sourly. “Stef, try to
concentrate
, will you?”

“Pardon me for
breathing
,” Stephanie sulked. “Okay, what have we got? Something alive that roamed around in ancient times; something spreading terror that is now popular and turned to stone for all to see……”

Almost instantaneously we all came up with the same answer. “
Dinosaurs
!” we shouted in unison.

“The
museum
!” Janice declared. “The next clue is on a dinosaur skeleton in the museum.”

“Well
done
everyone,” Stephanie congratulated, “especially Jan. I think we’ve solved most of it. Now, exactly whereabouts is it? The note says it’s on the
fourth
semicircle of the end one. Hmmm…fourth semicircle?
What
semicircle?”

That caused a cessation of our merriment. It wasn’t much use to solve the majority of the puzzle but not know the precise place to look.

Once again, Janice came to our rescue. “What on a dinosaur is a semicircle?” she said thoughtfully. Then she snapped her fingers. “Of course, what
else
could it be?’

“Jan, honey,” Stephanie complained, “we all know you’re
brilliant
at these puzzles, but please explain your reasoning to the rest of us mere mortals.”

Janice grinned at us. “Sorry, guys,” she apologised. “But it’s so
simple
once you picture a dinosaur in your mind. The only semicircular part of one is the
ribs
. Haven’t you ever seen one? The ribs curve around, just like a semicircle. The note will be on one of them.”

Stephanie bowed her head. “Jan, I salute you. How do you do it?”

Janice blushed slightly. “I don’t know. I just do,” she replied.

“Never mind then,” Stephanie continued, “we’re almost home. Now, what dinosaur and which rib?”

“Read that bit out again,” Maureen asked.

Stephanie obliged. “It’s the fourth semicircle, so that means the fourth rib, of the end one. I presume that means the end dinosaur. Are they in a row?”

Everyone shrugged. “I haven’t been to the museum in ages,” Maureen admitted. “Something that big would have to be in some sort of row, I presume. When do we go?”

“Right now,” Stephanie commanded. “And there’s something else too. This is the second last note, according to our admirer. So, whatever it is, we’re getting
close
to the end.”

“I can hardly
wait
,” Janice announced, sarcastically.

Chapter 19.

We headed out for the museum and trooped inside, looking for the end dinosaur in the exhibit hall. It turned out to be a fully grown stegosaurus skeleton.

“Hardly something to induce
terror
,” sniffed Janice. “I was expecting a
tyrannosaurus
at the very least.”

“I think it’d induce terror if it was thundering
towards
you,” remarked Stephanie. “It’d squash you flat and wouldn’t even
notice
. Now, Maureen, go and act as the watcher. Let us know if anyone comes. The rest of us will look around the fourth rib.”

Stephanie, Janice and I scrambled onto the platform that housed the skeleton and commenced searching. As usual, it was
Janice
who found the note. It was taped to the fourth rib, near the spine.

“We’ll decipher it at home,” Stephanie declared, taking the piece of paper from Janice. “Let’s get out of here. There may be security cameras.”

We set up camp at Stephanie’s place and perused the note:

This is the last,

The die is cast.

Flames burn lower,

Breath is slower.

Not man-made,

Time delayed.

Capture flight,

Without a fight.

Look within,

Sparrow’s kin.

High enough,

Yellow bluff.

“Ye gods and little fishes,” breathed Maureen. “What a
ripsnorter
! This is close to impossible.”

“It certainly is a brain rattler,” agreed Stephanie. “I vote we leave it for now and let our subconscious dream up a few ideas.”

“I second that,” I added.

And so, our group broke up and headed for their respective domiciles, except Stephanie, of course.

- Well,
duh
!

- Quiet! Otherwise, I’ll call in the
pest
exterminators.

- Are you saying that I’m an annoying insect?

-
You
said it, I didn’t.

- But you
implied
it. Under the law, that’s as good as
saying
it.

-
Poppycock
!

- Poppycock? What the hell does
that
mean?

- Beats me, but it
sounds
rude.

-
Typical
! When you know you’re going to lose, you revert to vulgarity.

- I do
not
! If I resorted to vulgarity, I’d be saying something like…..

- Don’t you
dare
!

- Chicken!

- That’s not very rude at all.

-
Idiot
!

- Nor is that.

- Shut up.

-
That
is.

- Quiet! Let me continue the story.

We met at Maureen’s place the next morning to decide what to do next. Nobody had an epiphany during the night, so Stephanie decided to leave the note for now and to do the daily ritual of paying our dues to Queen Maureen.

“What are your wishes for today?” Stephanie asked.

“Gee, I don’t know,” Maureen dithered. “I haven’t thought about it.”

“This is
wasted
on you, Maureen,” Stephanie complained. “Now, if
I’d
won, I’d be making you lot do all
sorts
of interesting things.”

“Which is why it’s best that
Maureen
won,” Janice slyly suggested.

“
Humph
!” Stephanie snorted. “I would have been a
true
queen, ruling over you slaves with a rod of iron.”

“
More
proof that Maureen was the best choice,” I added.

“
Ingrates
!” Stephanie commented, forcibly.

“Lucky ingrates, I’d say,” Janice remarked. “But shhh! The Queen is ready to speak.”

“Hear me, for I have decided,” Maureen began. “Lady Stephanie is to go forth and scour the land for an enormous box of
chocolates
to celebrate our victories so far. Can you do this thing, my lady?”

Stephanie curtsied prettily and replied, “
Verily
, my Queen, I’ll try my very best. Dark or milk chocolate?”

“Milk, I think,” Maureen answered, regally.

Janice turned to Stephanie and remarked, “You see, this is why we prefer to have Queen Maureen instead of Queen Stef ruling us. God knows what
you’d
have us doing.”

“Just wait until
next
time,” Stephanie vowed. “It’ll be the royal
dungeons
for you, Jan.”

“And for the Duchess Janice……I think she would be well suited to fight her way through the ravenous crowds of buyers to obtain, at no little risk, a flagon of the finest
wine
, perchance.”

“A command I’ll be
happy
to obey,” Janice said, sweeping her arms wide in a flowery bow.

“And the Princess Kim has to….has to…..
Damn
! I
always
have this trouble.”

“She has to
bed
you?” suggested Stephanie.

“
Stef
!” Maureen exclaimed, shocked, her face flaming.

“Come on, ladies,” Stephanie observed. “It’s an open secret how you two feel about each other, especially
you
, Maureen. I’m just trying to hurry things along a little. This whole thing is better than a soap opera. I don’t mind your liaison. In fact, I think it’s
cute
. You both need a relationship, I’m thinking, although Jan will probably disagree, won’t you, dear?”

We all turned to Janice who stared back at us. “Why would I disagree?” she wanted to know. “In fact, I wouldn’t mind
joining
in.”

Of all the answers Janice could have given,
that
one was the most startling. Maureen was open-mouthed and I shook my head, not believing my ears. Stephanie slapped her forehead in disbelief and said, “
What
did you just say, Jan? Did you just say that you wanted to
join
Maureen and Kim in bed? Surely I was
hearing
things?”

“What’s the big deal?” Janice asked. “
Three
in a bed is better than just two, surely? Much more scope for variety there, don’t you think? Hell, Stef, you can come
too
. Four would be the best of all. We could have a good old fashioned
orgy
. Come on, guys, I know you want to.”

“Jan, are you
feeling
okay?” Stephanie demanded. “This isn’t like you at all. What’s going on?”

“
Nothing’s
going on,” Janice replied, briskly. “I’m
always
like this. You know me, always ready for a bit of
action
. The wilder, the better.”

“No, sweetie,” Stephanie told her, “this is exactly the
opposite
of you. You’re generally so……
conservative
. I think you’d better lie down or something.”

“I’m fine, I tell you,” Janice objected. “Here, I’ll
show
you!” She took a step forwards, grabbed an astonished Stephanie around the waist, pulled her close and kissed her comprehensively.

Maureen and I stood frozen to the spot. If Janice’s previous statement about joining us in bed had been incredible to hear, her latest
action
topped that by a long way. I shook my head in wonderment. This scenario made amazing viewing. Janice and Stephanie were still locking lips, even though I could see Stephanie struggling to escape.

“Jan, what the
hell
are you doing?” demanded a stunned Maureen.

Janice finally released a panting Stephanie, who staggered weakly away.

“I’m just doing what I always do,” Janice replied. “I’m having a bit of fun.” She turned back to Stephanie and asked, “You
enjoyed
that, didn’t you, Stef?”

“No, I bloody well
didn’t
!” Stephanie objected angrily. “Seriously, Jan, you should lie down. There’s something seriously
wrong
with you.”

“
Bah
!” Janice retorted. “I’m going for the wine.” She winked at Maureen. “Enjoy yourself, you kinky little devil. I’d love to stay and join you, but I’d better do my duty first. See you all later.”