I sit first. I don’t want to cause any more trouble. It’s bad enough we have to come back for one of these useless meetings. Amy draws out the suspense and lingers awhile before sitting. She’s such a freaking drama queen.
“So how have things been going in class?”
“Okay,” we both answer.
“And the new seating arrangements?”
“Fine,” we both say.
“Have you talked to each other since our last meeting?”
“No.”
Mrs. Flores leans forward in her chair, “Why not Amy?”
Amy leans forward to, challenging her. “There’s no reason to.”
“What do you think of that, Megan?” she asks me.
“I agree with Amy. We don’t have any reason to talk to each other. We’re not friends.”
“Well you finally agree on something.” Mrs. Flores lets out a slight chuckle.
“Can I ask you a question?” I say to the counselor.
“Sure.”
“Why are we here? We’re not violent. We’re not going to get in a fight. We are just two girls who don’t like each other. So what’s the point of all this? You can’t force everyone at this school to be friends.”
“You are absolutely right. But there was a problem with you two in class. We need to make sure that nothing like that will happen again. Especially since the chances of you two having the same classes together again next year are pretty high.”
Amy stands up. “Well, I guess we’re okay then. Meg and I are not going to fight in class any more. We are going to be good students, so this therapy session is over, right?”
“Sure,” Mrs. Flores says. Amy walks out of the office before she can say anything else. She turns to me. “So is she always like that?”
“That was nothin’. You got off easy.” I smile for the first time in days.
“So how are you, Meg? Your eyes tell me you haven’t been sleeping,” she says. And I think,
Are you sure that’s all they’re telling you
?
“I’m fine. Just dealing with a breakup,” I tell her.
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” She seems sincere. “What happened?”
I go over the gory details about how he thinks he’s too old for me now and he wants me to be a regular high school kid. I think that pretty much sums it up.
“Well, I think he’s being pretty mature about your relationship. And it sounds like he really does care for your well being. He’s definitely not trying to take advantage of you.”
“Yeah, well, I wish that could make me feel better. I really miss him.”
“I’m sure it’s hard. When you go from talking to someone everyday for a long time to not seeing or hearing from them, it can be very lonely.”
“Oh, I still talk to him. I don’t get to see him because he’s up north, but he’s been calling me every day,” I explain.
“Why is he still calling?”
“To torture me.” Here come the water works. I’ve been trying to fight the tears, but I can’t anymore.
“I think that’s an accurate way of putting it.” She passes me a tissue box.
“What do you mean?” I ask, blotting my eyes.
“Well, men are so ridiculous when it comes to breaking up. They want you one day and then the next day they call it quits. But then, when they’re bored or lonely, they call you. They don’t want you to get over them. They want you to keep wanting them. Sure, they don’t want you for themselves, but they don’t want you to want anyone else either. It’s just not fair at all.”
“So tell me how you really feel, Mrs. Flores,” I say. This is standard therapy procedure, right?
“I’m sorry, Megan. I really shouldn’t have said that. But the sooner you know the better.” She leans back in her chair. “Let me ask you a question. Do you really think you guys are going to get back together?”
I want to say yes, but it’s not true. “No. Not now. Maybe when we’re older if we’re both single.”
“Then why is he still calling you and torturing your poor little heart?”
“Because we’re friends. And he wants to just talk as friends.”
“And do you want to be just friends?”
“No.”
“Well I hate to break it to you but you can’t still talk to him every day and expect to get over him. I’m not saying you can’t talk to him at all, but just not on a regular basis. When you are totally and completely over Mr. Alex, you can finally be friends. But until then, I’d limit your conversations. It will be good for him too.”
Wow. I wasn’t expecting to hear that. I should have kept my big mouth shut. Sad thing is, I think she’s right. But it’s easier said than done.
Chapter Thirty One
Is
it summer break yet? I can’t wait for the year to be over. No homework. No evil teachers. Sleeping in. Vegging out in front of the TV. Time to think. Oh no. Back up, maybe I need to take some classes this summer. The only time I’m not thinking about Alex is when I’m doing homework or when I’m in class taking notes. Maybe a summer to myself with plenty of alone time to just sit and think is not such a good idea after all.
I sling my backpack over my shoulder and stagger down the hallway to the kitchen. Instead of hearing the voice of Seacrest though, I hear my dad.
“Maybe I should call Alex and talk to him about getting back together with Meg. Maybe if he knows we're okay with the age difference,” Dad says softly. I'm not supposed to be hearing this.
“Are you crazy? I thought you wanted them to break up,” my mom says back.
“I know. I just thought this whole thing would run its course and they'd break up eventually. But I didn't think she'd be so miserable. She's been roaming around the house with those sad little puppy dog eyes. It's heartbreaking.”
“What did you expect? Alex was her first love. Don't you remember what that was like? She'll be fine. It will take some time but she will be okay.” I'm glad someone feels convinced.
“Maybe I wouldn't feel so bad if he was a total jackass, but he was a good guy. He treated our baby really well.” Sounds like my dad is going to cry too. Hello, he broke up with me, not you. “He was the perfect first boyfriend. But now she needs to act like a regular teenager. He was way too old for her. Maybe when they're older, they will find each other again. Who knows?”
“Well, I hope she gets better soon. I can’t get used to her being so sad. I'd do anything to see her smile again,” Dad says, with a sigh.
I look down at the mess I've become in the past several weeks. Yoga pants, my shirt is wrinkled, and I'm not even sure if I brushed my teeth. What am I doing to myself? What am I doing to my dad? Omigod, I'm not going to be like Bella and cry over the guy who dumped me for months and months and pages and pages until some werewolf comes along and tries to save me.
Snap out of it, Megan.
I march back into my room and throw on a cozy pair of jeans, a black cami, and an aqua printed shirt with rhinestones. I toss up my hair loosely in a clip and pull down a few stands to hang in my face. Just a little bit of powder, some mascara, and I'm off to the bathroom to brush my teeth for what is possibly the first time this morning. I take a glance in the mirror, finish off my look with some lip gloss and sashay down the hall again.
“Good morning,” I sing as I walk into the kitchen.
Dad looks up from his coffee and even Mom acknowledges me even though her morning sweetheart is chatting away in the speakers. They both look a little startled, as they give me the once over and notice I've broken my broken heart fever.
Dad speaks up first, “Good morning, honey. You look nice today.”
“Thanks, Dad,” I say as I go to him for a squeeze.
“You want me to take you to school?” he asks.
“Nah, I'm fine. I'll walk. See ya both later,” I tell them before walking to the front door.
“Bye,” they both shout to me.
My phones rings. I know who it is. I don’t want to answer but I know I have to.
“Hey, Meggie,” Alex says, all cheerful.
“Hi, Alex.”
“Are you on your way to school yet?”
“Yeah, I just left.”
“You walking again?”
“Yup, I’ve been a downer lately so I’ve been trying to spare my friends from my crappy moods.” He doesn’t respond to that. “But things just got better this morning.”
“Really, that sounds good.”
“It’s like someone threw cold water in my face and I finally snapped out of it,” I tell him.
“I’m happy to hear that.”
“There’s one thing though, Alex.”
“What’s that, babe?”
“You can’t call me babe anymore,” I tell him. “In fact, you can’t call me anymore period. Not every single day, I mean. It would be nice to talk to you every once and while, but if I’m ever going to not be miserable because we broke up, then I need to stop hearing your voice all the time. It’s a constant reminder that we’re not together anymore.”
“I’m sorry, Megan. I just don’t want to lose you.”
“But you have. We’re not a couple any more. We can be friends, just not now. Give me some time. You said you wanted me to be a normal high school kid. Well, let me.”
“I…I…I don’t know what to say,” he says.
“Just say goodbye and don’t call me. I’ll call you. When I’m ready.”
“Okay, Megan,” he says softly. “Goodbye.”
“Bye, Alex.”
“Lookin' good Meggie. Lookin' good,” Travis says to me as I take my place at lunch.
“Whatever,” I tell him. I've been hearing this all week. Gosh, I must have looked like shit lately. Who knew a change of clothes and a little makeup would make me feel better. And while I feel happier, I'm not happy enough to fall for Travis's one liners.
“What?” he says. “I'm serious. It's nice to see you're back.”
“I didn't go anywhere,” I argue.
“Yes, you did.”
“Yeah, you did,” Josh agrees.
“Omigosh, you guys, you're killing it. Leave Meg alone.” Steph pats me on the leg, and flashes me her sympathetic smile.
“Thanks, Steph.”
Keesh strolls up and plops herself beside me. I take a quick glance at her and then at Josh. They’re still acting like nothing happened at that party. They're just pretending like everything is normal. Wonder how long that's going to last.
“So you up for another party?” Travis asks.
“You talking to me?” I ask him.
“Who else would I be talking to?”
I look around at our friends.
“They already know about it, and we're all in. You?”
“Yeah, why not. I'm up for some more Jello shots.” I flash him my pearly whites, thinking about my first single night out since last year.
Steph smacks me on the leg this time. “Now you're killing me.”
“Ha, no way, Steph. Now she's talkin'.” Keesh rubs her hands together like an evil little kid planning to get into trouble.
I'd say this party is just like all the others I've been to, but there's one humongous difference. I don't have a boyfriend. I can dance with whoever I want and not feel guilty. I can talk to whoever I want and not feel guilty. I can do whatever the hell I want, and it won't matter. I'm not going to be waiting for any texts. I'm not going to be dying to leave early so I can call someone. I am going to have fun. Lots of fun.
“Got you something special for your birthday and your first night out,” Keesh says, holding up a bottle of coconut rum.
“Aww, I feel so special,” I tell her, swiping the bottle from her hands as we sink into an open couch at the party. One of the senior football players is having this kickback. Dominic hooked us up with an invite. I think we're the youngest people here, but everyone is being chill with us.
Travis slams some shot glasses on the coffee table. “You need these or are you just gonna chug from the bottle?”
“Well, I was thinking of chugging,” I tell him, with a chuckle.
“You guys wanna play a card game?” Dominic asks.
“Uh, I didn't come for a poker tournament,” I say.
“This isn't poker, Meg. I'm talking about a drinking game,” he says.
“You can't drink babe, you're driving,” Steph says.
“Travis is gonna drive,” he tells her.
My gaze darts to Trav. “What? He's not even old enough. He doesn't have a license.”
“Yeah, but I know how to drive,” Travis contends.
“And I taught him, so he's good. He can drive.”
“Whatever babe, it's your car,” Steph says, sighing with disappointment.
“Okay, so let's get started then,” I yell, trying to get the party started.
Josh slips down next to Keesh with a beer in his hand. We're all here so let's go.
Dominic spreads out a deck of cards face down on the table and mixes them up.
“Are we playing fifty two card pick up or what?” Keesh asks.
“No smart ass. Just for that, you go first.” She looks at Dom confused. “Pick a card.” She picks a four of hearts. “Fours, whores.”
“Excuse me,” Keesh says.
The boys chuckle. “It just means that girls have to drink.” Travis spreads out the shot glasses and pours one for each of us girls.
We take our drink, clink glasses, and then toss back our first shot. Well, Keesh and I do. Steph takes a sip.
“Easy ladies,” Josh tells us. “It's a long game.”
“Whatever, I can hang,” I say, trying to sound confident.
Dominic points at me. “The birthday girl.” My turn. I swish around the cards and take one. Three of spades.
Travis says, “Three, me.”
“I thought you were driving,” I scold him.
He laughs at me. “No, not three, me.” He points to himself. “It means three, me, as in you.” He points to me.
Oh goodness. Another already. “Oh. Hit me.” I hold out my glass for a refill, and toss it back.
Steph takes the next card. Six of clubs. She looks at the guys for clarification. Josh and Dom slap hands. “Six, dicks,” Josh says. They lift their bottles and pound their beers for a few seconds. Six, dicks. I'm assuming the guys are the dicks. I like this game.
Josh's turn—seven of hearts. “Seven, heaven,” Dominic shouts. What? Seventh heaven? Seven minutes in heaven? What's he talking about? One by one, fingers shoot up, pointing at the ceiling, and I'm still trying to figure out what's going on. Steph and Keesh point upwards too. Okay, I stick my index finger up.
“Too late, Megpie,” Travis tells me. “You were last. Let me get you one more for your birthday.” He pours me another. Before I have a chance to argue, he explains, “Seven means heaven. You have to point to the sky.”