Double-Sided Witch (Covencraft Book 3) (26 page)

Paris pushed more magic at her, and again she pushed back, her power different from Jade’s. He sniffed the air, smelling grapefruit and cinnamon. Not the floral and clove scent of Jade’s power.

He took one more step closer and she leaned backward. She blinked several times and then cracked her neck, her eyes changing from green back to grey. She frowned at him, seeming wary at finding him so close.

“What are you doing?”

“Jade?” he asked.

“Yes.” Jade looked from Paris to Dr. Gellar and back again. She paused, looking away for a moment, and Paris had this sense that she was searching her brain for something. “She was here. She was just here.” Jade looked up at him. “Wasn’t she? You saw her.”

“Yes.”

“Oh my God, she really is back.”

CHAPTER
TWELVE

Jade
pulled the electrodes off her head, not caring that they were taking some hair with them as she did. She was tired. Tired and feeling soft and vulnerable, like the underbelly of a small forest creature, fallen from its perch and baring its underside to the sky.

“Are you all right, Jade? I’d like to run some more tests, but they can wait if you’re not feeling up to it.”

“I just want to go home.”

Gellar pursed her lips. “I’d like it if you stayed, overnight if possible.”

“I really want to go home.” Jade looked up at Paris, expecting him to protest, but he stayed silent, watching her.

Gellar tapped a finger against her leg. “Will you at least stay for an IV and a nap?” Gellar bargained. “You had quite an incident out there at the lake and again in here. I don’t know what’s going on and while part of it seems magical, there’s definitely a physical component.”

Jade did still feel a little shaky. She nodded slowly. “Okay.”

Gellar excused herself to get the necessary supplies and Jade chanced a sideways look at Paris.

He was going to want to talk about Lily. Of course he was. If Jade were in his shoes, she’d want to talk about it too. She’d be riddled with curiosity. All Jade could hope was that Paris gave her some time until he started bombarding her with questions. He probably wanted to know how Jade felt. That was a good question. One that Jade wanted the answer to as well.

Lily was back. Jade had felt her. Jade had seen through her eyes, like it had been before. They were never truly separate although they did switch control - each of them having turns at being ‘outside.’ But unlike the way people described dissociative identities, Jade and Lily were always aware of one another. There were no missing memories, no things they didn’t know of happening, no surprises between them. When Lily was in control, Jade could watch, from behind, like being in the backseat of a car. Or she could sleep, going far away in their head and be totally unaware for the moment. But when Jade came ‘back,’ it was always easy enough to find out what had happened while she was gone. It was like watching a movie and leaving the room - when you came back, you could rewind and replay the parts you missed. Jade and Lily jokingly called it ‘refreshing their cache,’ - going through each other’s memories so that there was no uneven bits or blips.

It meant there were no secrets between them. Never. Every horrid thought, every embarrassing problem, every shameful thing they ever did or said, every joy or happiness they felt, everything was shared. Everything.

Having Lily back was exactly what Jade had wanted ever since she left. She thought she’d be happy, relieved, complete. Instead she was confused and conflicted. She pushed herself out of the chair, intending to head for the bed. Paris came beside her immediately and she didn’t wave him off when he offered some help. His hand on her elbow was strong and warm. She should probably give him back his coat. If he asked for it, she would.

He didn’t ask and she didn’t say anything. She got into bed with it still on. The silence was starting to grate. She fidgeted with the blankets.

“Look, I know you probably have a million questions -“ she began.

“I do,” he said easily. “But they can wait until you’ve gotten some rest.”

She relaxed further back into the bed. “Thanks. Don’t let me sleep more than a couple hours. I don’t want to spend the night here.”

A sharp sound at the door had Paris frowning.

“Sounds like Bruce,” Jade mumbled, her eyes already starting to close.

Sure enough, as soon as Paris cracked the door, Bruce nosed his way in, slipping underneath the medical bed. “He must know I’m having a nap here. Didn’t want to miss out.”

“Yes, he does look like he’s settling in for the long haul,” she heard Paris say. Her eyes were already closed and she could feel herself falling away. In that final moment before she fell asleep, she had one more thing to say and she knew it sounded crazy, but she had to say it.

“If Lily comes back, be nice. She’s been gone a long time.”

Jade must have dozed off quickly, because the next thing she knew, she felt a hand on her shoulder and heard Paris’ voice calling her name.

“Jade, it’s late afternoon.”

She managed some kind of grumbling sound and blinked herself awake. She looked down at her arm, noting the bandage where an IV must have already come and gone. No dreams either - of the Preserve or the closet. She took a deep breath, waking up.

“How do you feel?” Paris asked.

“Groggy.”

Paris went and got Dr. Gellar, who again iterated that she wished Jade would stay the night. Jade looked at Paris, almost challenging him, wondering if he would try to make her stay. Paris gave Jade a quick look and said that if both of them were amenable, he could take Jade home and stay with her in case anything arose.

Jade could tell Gellar wasn’t happy with the answer, but she nodded anyway. Jade grabbed her shoes from under the chair. They were the only things that hadn’t been taken away for cleaning, and probably the only things that didn’t get ruined by blood. Bruce flicked his tongue at her quickly, almost like he just wanted to touch her to make sure she was still there.

“When we were getting here, it was like people in the hallway didn’t see us,” Jade said as she stuffed her feet into her shoes.

“Yes, I cast a quick glamor. I was nearly carrying you at that point and I wanted to avoid gossip and questions.”

“Could you do it again on the way out?” Jade asked slowly, eyes darting up to him and then back down. “I just… don’t feel like talking to anyone.”

“Of course.”

“It’ll work for Bruce too?”

“Yes, although he’ll have to stay close.”

“You hear that, buddy?” Jade asked. Bruce slithered out from underneath the bed and stood as close as possible to Jade.

Paris’ lips quirked in a smile. “That’ll do, Bruce.”

It was weird walking through the Coven without anyone seeing them. Jade dug her hands deep into the pockets of Paris’ jacket, fiddling with the items he had in there. A few coins, an old receipt, a few wrapped pieces of fresh gum. He also had a small satchel and when she pulled it out and sniffed it, it smelled like wool, laundry and something else. Something faint.

“What’s this?”

Paris’ lips quirked. “An old gris-gris. My mother went through a phase where she was into Vodoun. Voodoo,” he added at Jade’s confused look. “Most witches don’t practice it. It’s not taboo, not like demon magic, but it is specialized.”

“Is it like learning another language?” Jade asked, fingering the soft, worn cloth.

“Just so. She made that for me when I was younger. I’ve always kept it and it turns up in my things. Part of the magic of it, I suppose, although it’s probably mostly worn out.”

Jade squeezed it in her hand, feeling something grind together inside the small bag. “I dunno. It feels heavy.” She sniffed it again. “Smells like…” she trailed off thinking. “Black licorice.”

He turned to her sharply. “I never noticed that.”

She shrugged, popping it back in the pocket of the coat. “You probably don’t take your stuff out and sniff it. I’m like a squirrel in the forest, rooting around in your things.” She hunched her shoulders. “Speaking of, do you want your coat back?”

“No, you can keep it for now.”

No one so much as glanced their way as they walked through the Coven and Jade wondered how the spell worked. Did people notice the front door of the Coven swinging open as they left and think it odd, or was part of the glamor? Maybe the door appeared to stay shut. She thought about asking, but she didn’t have it in her at the moment. She felt some kind of magical burst from Paris as they got in the car and figured he must have done something, maybe released the spell, as they drove off so that he didn’t have to charm the entire car, or have people wonder why a car was driving itself.

Or maybe shit like that happened at the Coven. Jade had been taking public transit for so long, she had no idea what happened on the road.

Bruce stretched out in the back seat and Jade envied his relaxed pose, until she saw his scaly patch, more red and sore than before. She slouched down in the passenger seat and crossed her arms over her chest, warding off the chill. She closed her eyes on the drive home, focusing in on the rock and sway of the car as Paris drove. They were back at her cottage soon enough and as they walked up to her cottage, she missed the security of her demon locks. She had liked the way they whirred and rolled as she came home, letting her know that her place was secure. Sure the front door was still bolted, but that didn’t mean anything to her anymore. It wasn’t like the knowledge of ‘safe’ she got from her demon locks.

“I’m going to go take a shower. Do you mind putting on some coffee?” she asked, already heading up the stairs. Paris nodded and made his way to the kitchen. Bruce loped up the stairs behind her, his tail thumping a few times. Once in her room, Jade paused just to take a breath. Home. This was home now and things would be fine.

She took Paris’ coat off and tossed it on her bed and then took off the medlab scrubs and threw them in the direction of her laundry pile. At least that was something different - she wasn’t going to have to do laundry any time soon. She had all her stuff from the apartment now. No need to do laundry every three days.

All
their
stuff, she corrected herself. Her stuff and Lily’s stuff. Jade wasn’t by herself anymore.

Bruce dived under the bed immediately and started scratching at the wooden planks of the floor.

“Hey, stop that!” Jade hissed, getting on her hands and knees and peering under the bed. “What are you doing?”

Bruce scratched at the floor again, like he was trying to dig a hole out or something.

“Get out here.”

He gave her a look and spat on the ground.

“Ugh, Bruce, c’mon, buddy. Don’t be like this. I just got out of medlab and I’m gross and I just really want to take a shower.”

Bruce blinked twice at her, and then the floor again, pawing at it.

“Please, Bruce.”

He huffed and wiggled out from under the bed, popping on top of it and starting to nose at Paris’ coat.

“Yes, have at it. Just don’t eat it. I’m sure it’s a very expensive wool coat and it will cost me a lot to replace. Other than that, go forth and do lizard things.” Bruce shimmied down into Paris’ coat like he was planning on a nap.

The shower was fantastic. She’d been grimy from the hike and being sick plus being medlab always felt like it left a layer on her. When she came back out, Bruce was still lying on top of Paris’ coat on Jade’s bed, his snout buried in the pocket. She shooed him away before getting dressed. Once presentable, hair wet and in a ponytail dripping down her back, she picked up the coat, intending to take it downstairs.

“We’re not going to tell him you used this like a nap blanket,” she said, folding it over her arm. Bruce flicked his tongue out at her. Jade hesitated. She didn’t suppose she could stay upstairs for the rest of the day. Paris was bound to come up and check on her. She was going to have to answer questions. Eventually. May as well be now. He’d seen Lily, had seen Jade change into her and back. It had always been her biggest secret and now, it was out there. Paris and Gellar had watched it happen.

It was sort of like falling. Liberating and terrifying. There was no going back now.

Jade inhaled the scent of brewing coffee and something else as she went downstairs. She hung his coat up by the door and then headed to the kitchen.

“Either you’re making toast or we need to go back to medlab because I’m about to have a seizure,” she joked.

Paris set a mug of coffee down on the table followed by a plate of toast.

Jade sat down in front of them and sighed happily. “What is it about toast when you don’t feel good. It’s… a happy-making food. Instant comfort.”

“I’m glad you think so. I wasn’t sure if you’d be up for eating.”

A sip of her coffee informed her that Paris had made it to her liking and she smiled. “Thanks.”

He had a mug for himself and a slice of toast as well.

“So, interrogation time?” she asked, taking a big bite of buttery toast.

“I hope not. I don’t want to grill you. I’d hoped you’d feel comfortable talking to me.”

Well, shit. Now she felt like a jerk. “No, I do, I mean, as much as I ever do. But that’s more me than you. I guess I just don’t know how or where to begin. It’s like asking me how I feel about being a woman. I’ve always been a woman. I don’t know how to explain it.”

Paris chewed his toast thoughtfully for a moment. “Do you think you have a mental disorder?”

“Wow, okay, let’s start with the big questions. No need to ease in.”

“It is the elephant in the room.”

“Yeah,” she said, taking a sip of her coffee. “Yeah. I never thought of me, of us, as being a dissociative identity. I mean, I’ve read a lot about it, obviously, because what else should I research? But I don’t feel like either one of us is an alter. And we have knowledge of each other. I know everything that happens when Lily’s in control and she knows everything that happens when I’m in control. We’re not unaware of each other.”