Double Fudge (15 page)

"And just in time, dearie ..." Mrs. Osterman said. "Just in time."

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When the elevator door opened, a handsome firefighter escorted Mrs. Osterman out, with Fudge and Mini following right behind. "Make room for Mrs. O," Henry called and the crowd parted.

"Well ..." she said, "I see I didn't miss the party after all. The party seems to be right here in the lobby!"

As soon as she said it, you knew it was going to happen. Within minutes the neighbors were carrying food and drinks to the lobby. The trick-or-treaters followed. Mr. Reilly brought down his keyboard. The Natural Beauties ran upstairs and returned with their tap shoes.

Mr. Willard proposed a toast. "To our heroes Olivia, Fudge, and Mini ..."

"You mean
Aivilo, Egduf, and Yelraf?"
Fudge asked.

"Yes," Mr. Willard said. "That's exactly who I mean."

Mr. Reese said, "Here's to their resourcefulness ..."

Mrs. Perez said, "And to their sense of humor ..."

"Three cheers for Egduf, Yelraf, and Aivilo!"

While we were cheering, the lobby door opened, and the Tubmans came in from outside. They were dressed as the Three Bears. "What's going on?" Sheila asked. "Did I miss something?"

"Candy," Mini said. "Yum!"

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Mom and Mrs. Tubman put together a box for them. Sweaters and jackets for the kids, and winter maternity clothes for Eudora. She was growing now. You could definitely tell she was pregnant.

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Fudge loved putting his hands on her belly. "There's really a baby inside?"

"Yes," Eudora said.

"Just like a panda."

"Not quite like a panda," Eudora said. "Panda babies are only as big as a stick of butter when they're born. My baby will be at least six or seven pounds. You remember Tootsie when she was born, don't you?"

"I didn't like her," Fudge said.

"But you like her now," Eudora said.

"Not as much as I'd like a panda."

"Pan-da," Tootsie said.

"That's right," Eudora said. "You're getting to be quite a talker."

And she wasn't the only one. "I can talk, too," Mini announced to the Natural Beauties.

"We know you can," Flora said.

"But you don't have to ..." Fauna said.

"Because you have us," Flora said.

"No!" Mini shouted.

"What do you mean?" Fauna asked him.

"I think he means ..." Flora began.

"Stop!" Mini said.

"Stop?" Fauna asked.

"I can talk myself!"

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"Is he saying he doesn't want us to talk for him anymore?" Flora asked.

"Is that what you're saying, Mini?" Fauna asked.

"Yes."

"I guess he's growing up," Flora said.

"I guess he's not our
baby
brother anymore," Fauna agreed, sounding sad.

"Cheer up," Fudge told them. "Soon you'll have another baby in the family. It might even be a panda baby."

"A panda baby?" The Natural Beauties laughed.

"You never know," Fudge told them. "Mrs. Little had a mouse. She named him Stuart."

Fudge has his first loose tooth. Bottom front. He's planning on collecting big-time from the tooth fairy. He's been wiggling his loose tooth for weeks. He was still wiggling it at our farewell dinner with the Howies. Mom invited Olivia Osterman, too, so the three heroes could have a reunion. But Mini was more interested in Uncle Feather than a reunion. He took off for Fudge's room right away. I was glad to see Cousin Howie follow him.

Once the Natural Beauties found out Olivia Osterman had been a Broadway star, they wanted to hear everything about her life on stage. "New York is a

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magical place," she told them. "It's a city where your dreams can come true. Where a girl can become a star overnight."

That was enough for the Natural Beauties. "Please ... please ... please ..." they begged Eudora. "Can we
please
stay in New York? You and Daddy can go south, and we'll come down to visit."

"That's out of the question," Eudora told them. "You belong with your family."

The Natural Beauties looked at Mom.

"Please, Cousin Anne," Fauna begged. "We wouldn't be any ..."

"Trouble," Flora said.

"No no no!" Eudora said. "That's not what I meant."

But the Natural Beauties had their own ideas. "We'd help out with ..."

"Tootsie," Fauna said.

"What about me?" Fudge asked. "Don't you want to help out with me?"

"Sure," Flora said. "With you, too."

"Girls ..." Eudora told the Natural Beauties, "that's enough!"

"Enough of what?" Howie asked, returning with Mini.

"Never mind," Eudora said.

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Mom thanked the Natural Beauties for their kind offer. "Wasn't that a kind offer, Warren?"

Dad nodded but he looked worried until Mom said, "Unfortunately girls, this isn't the right time for us to take on any more responsibilities."

"Well, of course it isn't," Eudora said.

"Besides," Dad said, "winter is long and hard, and you're not used to it."

"But we'd love to see snow," the Natural Beauties said at the same time.

"What are we talking about here?" Cousin Howie asked.

"About college," Dad said, thinking fast. "Maybe when Flora and Fauna are older, they can come to New York to study."

"And live in a dorm," I added.

"Yes," Mom said, "they wouldn't want to miss out on dorm life."

I bowed my head and silently gave thanks that Mom and Dad are smarter than I thought.

"Dorm life?" Cousin Howie said. "I don't know about that. I've read they have coed dorms these days."

"Well, we don't have to worry about that yet, do we?" Eudora said.

A minute later Mom announced that dinner was ready, and we took our seats at the table.

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"Let's all join hands and give thanks," Cousin Howie said.

I wasn't about to tell him I already had.

We went around the table, taking turns. Cousin Howie gave thanks for finding his long-lost family.

Mrs. Osterman gave thanks for an interesting life.

The Natural Beauties gave thanks for New York.

Mini gave thanks for Egduf, then leaned over and licked Fudge's arm. Fudge inched away and pulled down his sleeves.

Then it was Fudge's turn. "I give thanks for money," he said.

Dad sighed. "Can you think of anything else, Fudge?"

"Toys?" Fudge said.

"I'll bet there are other things you're thankful for," Dad said.

"Oh,
those
things," Fudge said, and he started listing all of them. "I give thanks that Uncle Feather can talk again, and that his wing is better, and that I'm smart, and Mom and Dad love me best." He looked right at me. "Ha ha, Pete!"

"Ha ha," I said.

But he still wasn't finished. "Aaannndd ... I give thanks for monster spray and for my teacher, William, and Grandma and Buzzy and Richie Potter ... and ... and ... and ..."

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He went on and on, but I tuned him out and thought about all the things I'm thankful for. Not that I'd say any of them out loud in front of the Howies, or anyone else. Not everything has to be announced to the world. Some things are private. I guess Fudge hasn't learned that yet because he was still going strong, giving thanks for his favorite books, his favorite foods, even his favorite smells.

Finally, Dad said, "Thank you, Fudge. I think we can eat now."

While we were eating, Cousin Howie waved his fork around and explained to Mrs. Osterman that they'd be heading for the Florida Everglades in a few days.

"Everblades?" Fudge perked up. I've told him a million times it's
glades
not
blades,
but he still doesn't get it. He has the idea that the Howies are going to a place where nobody walks, bikes, or drives. They just blade. "Is that near Disney World?" he asked. "Because I really want to go to Disney World. I'm thinking of buying it."

Cousin Howie laid down his fork and wiped his mouth with his napkin. "Tubby, you've got to bring your family down to visit. You've got to let me show them the
real
Florida, the one nature created, not Mr. Disney. We'll do a canoe trip through the Everglades. They'll see alligators and crocodiles." Cousin Howie

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turned to Fudge. "Did you know, little fella, it's the only place in the world where alligators and crocodiles live together?"

"And all kinds of birds," Fauna added.

"We have birds in New York," Fudge said. "We have pigeons."

"No offense, Fudge ... but we're not talking about pigeons," Cousin Howie said. "We're talking about flamingos and herons and spoonbills." Cousin Howie turned to Dad. "So what do you say, Tub ... how does Christmas in the Everglades sound?"

"Not Christmas," I said, quickly. "We always have Christmas in New York."

"Then February," Cousin Howie suggested.

"Not February," I said. "I can't leave town in February. Jimmy Fargo's father is getting married on Valentine's Day, and I promised I'd be there."

"Never say
can't,
Peter," Cousin Howie told me. "Where there's a will, there's a way. I'll bet you've heard that before."

"I've heard it!" Fudge sang. "From Grandma."

"Good," Cousin Howie said. "Then it's settled. A family reunion in the Everglades sometime this winter. Some week when you want to get away from the ice and snow ... the howling winds and the gray skies."

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"Well," Mom said. "That's a very kind invitation, and we certainly appreciate it."

"It may not be
this
winter," Dad said, "but you can be sure it will be
some
winter."

Yeah,
I thought.
Like in fifty years.

For dessert we had brownies with ice cream. Fudge bit into a brownie, then got this funny look on his face. He reached into his mouth and pulled something out. "Look everybody ..." he said, holding it up. "A chocolate-covered tooth!"

"Put it under your pillow tonight and the tooth fairy will come," Mrs. Osterman said. "But wash it off first."

When dinner was over and Dad was clearing the dessert plates, Fudge looked around and said, "Where's my tooth? I put it right here on the table and now it's gone. Did you take it, Dad?"

"No," Dad said.

"Did you take it, Pete?"

"No," I said. "Why would I take your tooth?"

"Then where is it?" Fudge asked.

I almost said,
With your missing shoe and your green marble,
but I didn't. We still haven't found his green marble. And for all we know, his missing shoe is still riding some subway train.

"Maybe your tooth fell onto the floor," Mom said.

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Fudge got out of his seat and searched for it. But no luck. "It was next to my milk glass. Mini saw it, didn't you, Mini?"

Mini nodded.

"Mini," Flora said, "do you know where Fudge's tooth is?"

Mini nodded again.

"Tell him where it is," Fauna said.

"Gone," Mini said.

"Gone where?" I asked. Mini patted his stomach.

Cousin Howie laughed. "He's making a joke. Isn't that right, Farley?"

"No," Mini said.

"I want my tooth," Fudge told him. "I want it now!"

Mini laughed and patted his stomach again.

"What are you trying to say, Mini?" Fauna asked.

"Egduf's tooth."

"What about Egduf's tooth?" Flora said.

Mini climbed out of his chair and raced around the table, singing, "Yummy, yummy, yummy ... tummy, tummy, tummy ..."

Fudge let out a wail. "Noooo!"

Eudora jumped up from the table. "You didn't really swallow Fudge's tooth, did you, Farley?"

Mini kept on running around the table. "It tasted like chocolate."

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"Mom ... Dad ..." Fudge yelled. "Do something!"

This was beginning to sound familiar.
Way too familiar.

Cousin Howie was out of his seat in a flash. He caught Mini and turned him upside down.

"Howie," Eudora warned, "he just finished dinner."

But Cousin Howie whacked him on his back anyway. No tooth came out and, lucky for us, neither did anything else.

"Now the tooth fairy won't come!" Fudge cried. He might have torn Mini apart to get his tooth back, but the Howies were out of the apartment so fast you'd have thought the place was on fire.

The second they were gone, Fudge cried, "I hate Mini! First my bird and now my tooth. He's a disaster."

"Now you know how I felt," I said.

"What do you mean, Pete?"

"When you swallowed Dribble, my turtle."

Fudge thought about that. "Did you hate me, Pete?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Was I a disaster?"

"Yeah, you were."

From the other room we could hear Uncle Feather calling,
"Disaster ... disaster
..."

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"But I'm not anymore, right?" Fudge asked.

I didn't say anything.

"You're really glad I'm your little brother now. I'm the best little brother you could ever have, right?"

I still didn't say anything.

"If you say
yes,
I'll show you my secret."

I snorted. I knew he'd show me his secret no matter what I said.

Later, when he went to bed, Fudge tucked a note to the tooth fairy under his pillow. Mom and Dad helped him write it, explaining the situation.

"Psst, Pete ..." he called as I was passing his room.

"What?"

He motioned for me to come in and sit on his bed.

"Look what I found." He pulled a small box out from under his pillow.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Open it and you'll see my secret."

I opened the box. It was full of tiny teeth. "Where'd you get this?"

"I found it in Mom's room."

"These must be
my
teeth," I said.

"But the tooth fairy won't know, will she?"

"Yeah, she will," I told him. "And she'll never trust you again."

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I grabbed the box and took it to my room. I lay down on my bed, trying to remember how it felt to be Fudge's age. I touched the tiny teeth. Then I slipped the box under my pillow--because, hey, you never know.

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