Dorothy Garlock - [Tucker Family] (22 page)

“Don’t tell me
that
was nothing,” he said.

Christina shook her head carefully.

“It might be a concussion,” Dr. Barlow said. “Given what happened tonight, I don’t think she should be alone. Someone should keep an eye on her in case things take a turn for the worse. I’ll call Callie and see if—”

“She can stay with me,” Tyler said firmly.

“It might be best if Callie were to care for her. After all, she’s had some training. If things were to worsen…”

Tyler shook his head. “If there’s a change, I’ll call you immediately,” he said. “I’ll make certain that someone stays by her bed at all times. I’ll do it myself if I have to.”

Dr. Barlow sighed; Christina could see he understood arguing it further would be pointless. “I’d best call Clara so that she knows what to expect,” he said before leaving the room, closing the door behind him.

Now that she was alone with Tyler, Christina was surprised to find that she felt worse. After Annette’s attack had ended, all Christina had wanted was the safety of his arms, but now she was reminded of what had happened between her and Holden and how she’d run from Tyler earlier in the day.

“I’m…I’m so thankful…that you were there…,” she mumbled, her eyes moist with tears of both gratitude and shame.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he explained. “After this afternoon, I lay in bed wondering what it was I’d done wrong. I suppose I should’ve waited until morning, but I reckon both of us are glad I didn’t.”

“You deserve an answer.”

“Not now,” Tyler whispered, patting her hand. “Whatever it was can wait. You need to rest and get your feet back under you. Until then, it doesn’t matter.”

But Christina knew he was wrong; it
did
matter, maybe now more than ever. If Tyler knew she’d betrayed him, would he still be willing to spend the night watching over her? In her heart, Christina knew she couldn’t allow him to make such an offer without knowing the truth.

But just as she was about to say something, he leaned down toward her and she knew he wanted to kiss her; it wouldn’t have been as passionate as what they’d shared under the stars, probably nothing more than a tender kiss on her cheek, but she turned away and started crying.

“Are you all right?” Tyler worriedly asked. “Should I go get my uncle?”

“Stop!” Christina sobbed. “Just stop!”

Though it seemed even harder than struggling with Annette, Christina pushed herself to be honest, even if the consequences broke both their hearts.

“I know that you…you only want to help,” she struggled to say, “but there’s something you need to know…”

“What?” he asked.

Looking Tyler straight in the eye, Christina said, “I…I kissed Holden…”

S
ITTING IN THE SMALL,
enclosed space of the examination room, Christina listened intently to the few sounds that reached her. There was the steady, rhythmic ticking of the clock hanging on the wall, the faint sound of Dr. Barlow’s voice as he spoke on the phone with his sister, and the frenzied pounding of her own heart. But it was the noise she
didn’t
hear that truly unnerved her, the silence of the man standing before her.

Tyler stared at her uncertainly, as if he couldn’t believe what he’d heard, as if she’d spoken to him in a foreign language.

“What…what did you say…?” he finally managed, his voice a growl.

Christina swallowed hard; it’d been hard enough for her to say such words the first time, but she knew that now that the cork was out of the bottle, it would be impossible to put it back again.

“I…I kissed your brother…”

This time, she knew that he had heard her; the effect of her words was noticeable. Tyler stiffened and then wobbled, as if he’d been punched in the gut. His lips pursed in a tight grimace as his breathing became ragged, his shoulders heaving in time to his chest. He’d been looking straight into Christina’s eyes but now immediately looked away.

“What…w-w-hat in the hell are you t-t-alking about?” he stammered.

“I didn’t mean for anything to happen,” she argued pleadingly. “I swear that I didn’t! Holden came to my apartment in the middle of the night. He asked me to go for a walk with him, and after what had just happened I thought I would be providing encouragement.”

“By kissing him,” Tyler spat angrily.

“That’s not what I mean! When I came to your mother’s house for dinner, he explained what had happened to him during the war. He told me about the cause of his tremors! I thought that he was making another step of progress by finally leaving his room, so I went with him. Everything was fine until…” But then she faltered, recalling that fateful night.

“Until what?” Tyler prompted, demanding an answer.

Christina took a deep breath, steeling herself. “We were standing in front of the school,” she began, already ashamed for what she was about to say. “Holden explained how disappointed he was that he was never going to be a teacher. All of a sudden, he started having a seizure. We were both panicked, but somehow we managed to calm him until it passed, but then…”

“Then what? You decided to kiss him in celebration?!” Tyler snapped dismissively, throwing his hands into the air. His voice was so loud that Christina was certain that Dr. Barlow would’ve heard every word.

“No! That’s not what happened!
He
kissed
me
! I didn’t want him to, but he leaned forward and kissed me!”

Tyler hesitated. “Did he force himself on you?” he asked, his question full of accusation. “Did he
make
you do something you didn’t want?”

Christina blanched, remembering how she had met Holden’s passion, allowing him to pull her close, letting herself go, and rejoicing in his touch. “No…no, he didn’t…but I…I wasn’t expecting him to…well, I…,” she struggled, trying to say something that would make sense, but her words were even more jumbled than her spinning head.

“Which one is it?” he demanded. “Did you want him to kiss you or not?”

Christina had no idea how she should answer. Whatever she tried to say sounded more like she was making an excuse, rather than the explanation she intended. Each attempt to tell the truth only seemed to make things worse. Tyler had every right to be furious with her. She had betrayed the trust between them, plain and simple. But that didn’t mean their relationship was over.

I just have to figure out how to fix it.

“What happened between Holden and me was a mistake, regardless of how it started,” she said slowly, calmly, but firmly, trying to erase the tension that threatened to overwhelm them. “It only lasted for a moment, one that I’d change if I could.”

“You regret kissing Holden?”

“I
do
,” she insisted.

“Then how about what we shared in the car?” he huffed. “I suppose you wish that hadn’t happened, either.”

“Oh, Tyler, no!” Christina cried. “Don’t ever say such a thing! I would
never
regret what happened between us!”

Suddenly panicked that things were slipping away, she reached out to take his hand in her own, but he quickly pulled away, disgusted by the thought of her touch. Without question, she had hurt him, but now that pain was being mercilessly revisited on her tenfold.

“Then why did you do it?” Tyler asked. “I deserve to know why.”

This was the question that Christina had been dreading. Not only could she not answer Tyler, but she couldn’t explain it to
herself
, either.

But how can I say that to him…?

Before she could offer another apology, none of which seemed to appease him, Tyler asked, “This is why you were so upset this afternoon, isn’t it?”

Christina nodded.

“You should’ve told me.” He frowned. “You should have come and told me immediately after it happened.”

“Maybe you’re right,” she agreed, “but ever since that night, I’ve struggled to come to grips with what I did. I can’t give you the answer you want to hear, but whatever else you might think about me, I need for you to understand that my feelings for you haven’t changed, not one bit.” This time, when she reached out to him Tyler didn’t pull away; simply feeling the warmth of his skin gave her a glimmer of hope that this wound might eventually be healed.

“I just can’t believe this happened,” he said. “My brother…”

“I’m so sorry,” Christina replied tearfully.

“I’m…I’m going to need time to think about all of this…,” Tyler explained, letting go of her hand and slowly making his way toward the door. “But regardless of what I finally decide, after what happened to you tonight I’m still convinced that you need someone to watch over you.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

Tyler smiled wistfully. “I’m not going to,” he said. “I can’t stay under the same roof as the two of you, not now, but my mother can care for you.”

Tears began to run freely down Christina’s cheeks as she watched him open the door to the hall. Light spilled over him; in that instant, she found him more handsome than ever, a thought that made her feel even worse. Just as he was about to close the door between them without a word, she spoke up.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you all night,” she said, choking back a sob.

“What’s that?”

“Thank you for rescuing me. I don’t even want to think about what might’ve happened if you hadn’t been there.”

“Maybe it’s a good thing you didn’t tell me the truth this afternoon,” he said with a humorless chuckle.

Christina smiled wistfully as she wiped away tears.

“I’m sorry that she hurt you,” Tyler said with genuine concern.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“But it’s because of me that Annette attacked you.”

“You couldn’t have known it would happen.”

Tyler nodded. “She was always a bit odd, but I never would’ve thought her capable of something like
this
.”

“I’ll be all right.”

“Don’t try to do too much and you will be,” he agreed. “When you’re better, we’ll talk again.” With a click, Tyler shut the door behind him.

Christina would have never thought it possible, but telling Tyler about what had happened between her and Holden hurt far worse than Annette’s assault.

For the next couple of days, Christina stayed in the spare bedroom of the Sutters’ home. The bruises on her arms and around her knee ached painfully, all blossoming into deep purples and blues. Occasionally, she would grow light-headed, nearly faint, and needed to lie down. She slept often. Clara Sutter waited on her every need, bringing her meals, sitting down to talk, although certainly not about the strange triangle Christina found herself in with the woman’s sons. Dr. Barlow stopped each day to check on Christina, examining her wounds and declaring that, while she was better, she still needed her rest. She tried to read, but looking at the pages made her head swim. Mostly, she thought about her predicament.

Neither Tyler nor Holden came to visit her.

Christina gazed out the window, watching the soft pitter-patter of raindrops against the glass, as the wind blew the treetops first one way and then the other. She wondered if the weather inside her head would forever match what was outside, overcast and miserable. Every day, from morning to midnight, she beat herself up over all that had happened. She had come to Longstock full of excitement, convinced that she would create a life in which she could take pride. But nothing had worked out as she’d hoped.

In her worst moments, she considered returning to Minnesota.

Lost deep in her melancholy, Christina jumped at the sound of a knock on her door. Glancing over at the old clock sitting on her dresser, she frowned, confused; it was still an hour before Clara usually brought lunch. A tremor of fear fluttered through Christina; after what had happened with Annette, the thought of answering a visitor at her door was much more frightening. Still, Christina knew that she was safe now.

“Come in,” she said, her voice shaking more than she would have liked.

The knob turned, the door creaking slightly on its hinges when it opened. Holden stood out in the hallway. When his eyes met hers, he gave her a gentle smile that made her heart beat faster. She was relieved as well to see that Holden was unhurt. In the aftermath of her confession to Tyler, she’d been worried he might physically assault his brother in a rage of jealousy. Clearly, he’d since been ignoring his brother as much as he’d ignored her.

“I thought that you might like a little company,” Holden said.

“That would be nice,” she replied.

Stepping inside the room, Holden shut the door behind him, an act that made Christina a bit nervous. Just as she had done in his room, he sat on the corner of her bed and looked at her expectantly. Outside, the squall seemed to grow in intensity.

“How are you feeling?” Holden asked.

“Better,” Christina replied. “Your uncle says that I just need a couple more days of rest and I should be as good as new.”

“When my mother told me what happened, I couldn’t believe it. I’ve known Annette and her family for as long as I can remember. Even though she’s been in love with Tyler since we were children, I never would’ve thought her capable of doing something like that.”

“Tyler said the same thing.”

“None of us would have known,” Holden explained. “I’m just glad that you weren’t hurt any worse than you were.” He paused a moment before adding, “I can’t imagine what I would do if something happened to you.”

Christina didn’t know what to say. There was no use in denying that Holden possessed romantic feelings for her, not after what had happened in front of the school. But that didn’t mean that she knew how to deal with them. In the end, she concluded that it was best to say nothing.

For an awkward moment, both of them were silent, staring out the window as the early summer rain was blown this way and that. Christina was upset to discover that instead of the respite she had sought, the quiet set her thoughts reeling over the things she
knew
she had to discuss with Holden.

In the days she had spent sleeping under the same roof as he was, Christina had realized that she’d never said a word to Holden about her relationship with Tyler. As far as Holden was concerned, there was nothing untoward about his pursuing her. Would he behave any differently if he knew he was competing with his
brother
? Or would Holden reject her just as firmly as Tyler had, disgusted by the fact that she’d withheld the truth?

But before she could raise the subject, Holden spoke. “I had a tremor last night,” he said matter-of-factly.

Guilt raced through Christina; she’d been so worried about her own situation that she hadn’t imagined he might have another reason for coming to see her. “What happened?” she asked.

“It was late, well after midnight, and I was downstairs in the living room going through some of my father’s old books,” he explained. “It started like they always do, sort of out of nowhere. One minute I’m fine and the next my arm starts twitching. When the book I was holding fell to the floor, I was petrified. My heart started pounding. I felt sick to my stomach. It was like everything around me suddenly turned upside down. All that I could think about was that nothing had changed…it was the same as always…”

“I’m so sorry, Holden,” Christina said sympathetically. Disappointment filled her listening to his story; she’d had such hope that things were slowly but surely improving for him that she had been in denial that there could be a setback. But as rotten as she felt about it, she could only imagine Holden’s frustration.

Holden sighed and then turned to look at her, smiling, and said, “But then I thought about the night we stood in front of the school. I remembered everything you demanded of me, every word. I tried to relax, to slow things down and breathe. I kept staring at my hand,” he explained, holding his left hand up to the light filtering through the window, showing it to her, “and I just kept willing it to stop moving. By the time it finally cooperated, I was covered in sweat and a bit exhausted, but I did it.”

“And you did it by yourself.” Christina beamed.

“I did,” he agreed, “but I never would have known
how
if it weren’t for you. Before you entered my life, I thought that I’d always be like this, too frightened to step outside my door, never quite the man I was before Vinnie’s death, but now…now I see that I might not have to stay this way forever.”

“What are you thinking about doing?”

“Right now, I want to be able to walk down the center of Main Street, waving at everyone I know and telling them I’m still alive.” He laughed, the sound so infectious that Christina joined in. “But seriously, I’d like to try carving and painting again. I used to get so much enjoyment out of creating scenes, making little people.” Christina remembered the first time she’d stepped inside Holden’s room and seen the figurines on display. They were beautiful, the work of a true craftsman. “Right now, anything seems possible.”