Don't Tell the Teacher (3 page)
Read Don't Tell the Teacher Online
Authors: Gervase Phinn
The great green shiny monster stands still,
Buffed and burnished,
A cold exhibit in a vast museum.
Never again will it rattle down the rails,
Hissing steam, belching smoke,
Clacking and clattering on the track,
Its whistle shrieking.
But there is still the far-off smell of oil and coke â
A slight reminder of when the monster hved and breathed.
âCome along, day dreamer,' says my teacher,
âYour worksheet's incomplete.'
And so I count the rivets on the engine
And estimate the length of a carriage.
I'm a daydreamer, a daydreamer,
Head in the clouds all day.
I'm a daydreamer, a daydreamer,
Dreaming my life away.
My brother's in a pop group,
My mum's a movie star,
My uncle's a world champion
And drives a racing car.
My sister is a model
And my dad's a millionaire,
And we all live in this castle â
And I do not have a care.
I'm a daydreamer, a daydreamer,
Head in the clouds all day.
I'm a daydreamer, a daydreamer,
Dreaming my life away.
My brother's in no pop group,
In fact, he hasn't a guitar.
My uncle's not world champion,
He doesn't own a car.
My sister's not a model,
Nor my dad a millionaire,
But I do live in a castle â
It's a castle in the air.
I'm a daydreamer, a daydreamer,
Head in the clouds all day.
I'm a daydreamer, a daydreamer,
 Dreaming my life away.
For when I dream, I leave behind
A mum who doesn't care,
A brother who's a bully,
And a dad who's never there.
For when I dream, I leave behind
A life that's bleak and bare,
And I live inside my castle â
My casde in the air.
I'm a daydreamer, a daydreamer,
Head in the clouds all day.
I'm a daydreamer, a daydreamer,
Dreaming my life away.
Please, don't bring me back to the zoo,
No, don't bring me back to the zoo.
The trumpeting elephant looks really mad,
The old hippopotamus dreadfully sad,
As I said to my mum and I said to my dad,
Please, don't bring me back to the zoo.
Please, don't bring me back to the zoo,
No, don't bring me back to the zoo.
The bored-looking tiger gnaws on a bone,
The poor old gorilla sits all on his own,
As I said to my parents, oh, can I go home?
Please, don't bring me back to the zoo.
Please, don't bring me back to the zoo,
No, don't bring me back to the zoo.
The chimps in their cages look terribly glum,
The wolves in their pens have nowhere to run,
As I said to my dad and I said to my mum,
Please, don't bring me back to the zoo.
To the boy with his head
Stuck through the railings in the park,
The Optimist said: | Don't worry, son, we'll soon have you out. |
The Psychiatrist said: | How do you feel? |
The Photographer said: | Smile please! |
The Counsellor said: | Would you care to talk about it? |
The Pessimist said: | You might never get out. |
The Blacksmith said: | Nice piece of ironwork. |
The Traffic Warden said: | You can't stay there. |
The Sympathizer said: | I know just how you feel. |
The Stoic said: | Just grin and bear it. |
The Clairvoyant said: | I thought this might happen. |
The Newspaper Reporter said: | HEADLINE â BOY IN PARK RAILING ORDEAL! |
The Philosopher said: | It's merely a state of mind. |
The Job's Comforter said: | You've probably damaged your neck. |
The Joker said: | Don't go away. |
The Realist said: | You've got your head stuck. |
But the boy with his head
Stuck through the railings in the park said simply:
     GET ME OUT!
Dear Granny and Grandpa,
Mother's come out in a rash,
Father's got the mumps,
Richard's got a tummy ache,
Dominic's got lumps.
Matthew's got German measles,
But there's nothing wrong with me,
And I cannot wait for Sunday,
When you're coming round for tea.
Anne's grandpa wears glasses,
Bimla's grandpa's deaf,
Colin's has a walking stick and gets really out of breath,
Donna's grandpa's small and thin,
Eric's has got a cat,
Freddie's grandpa wears big boots and a shapeless woollen hat,
Guy's grandpa wears yellow socks,
Harry's, he wears red,
Ian's gramp's called Sidney and likes to stay in bed,
Jay's grandpa likes bingo,
Kir it's likes the telly,
Leroy's, he wears aftershave that's really really smelly,
Malika's grandpa's wrinkled,
Nuala's smokes cigars,
Olive's wears a ginger wig and likes to drive fast cars,
Paul's grandpa does crosswords,
Quentin's rides a bike,
Ronnie's sits in the park all day and smokes a massive pipe,
Sammy's grandpa's very old,
Tamsin's grandpa's young,
Una's, he goes fishing and he's only got one lung,
Veronica's grandpa's grumpy,
William's laughs a lot,
Xavier's is really rich and owns a giant yacht.
Yvonne's grandfather's just retired, he used to drive a train,
Zoe never sees her gramps, because he lives in Spain.
But my grandpa, he is different,
He's not like any other.
He's not like my dad's dad at all,
He's more like my big brother.
He wears designer trainers,
And all the latest clothes,
And he's dyed his hair bright yellow,
And has five studs in his nose.
He goes to all the discos,
And dances until morn,
But then is out there jogging,
At the very crack of dawn.
He has tattoos along his arms,
And a ring though both his ears,
And if you say, âGood morning,'
He always answers, âCheers!'
He makes my mother angry,
My dad fly in a rage,
You see, my grandpa's seventy-five â
But he doesn't act his age!
There's a new kid
In our class,
Fast as lightning,
Bold as brass,
Cool as a cucumber,
Fierce as a lion,
Strong as a horse,
Hard as iron,
Fit as a fiddle,
Tall as a tree,
Broad as a barn door,
Rough as can be.
I hope that she'll be friends with me.
