Don't Tell the Groom (28 page)

I can't help wondering what would have happened if Violet had picked Ted instead of Geoffrey, and how if that had happened I wouldn't be marrying my lovely Mark. If I wasn't
feeling so awful that Violet knew my secret I'd be thinking deeply about fate and what life throws at you.

‘You see, Penelope, I could see something in your eyes. It was the look I had when I was married to Geoffrey,' says Violet.

‘But I can't tell Mark; it would crush him.'

‘Is it still going on?'

‘No, it stopped ages ago. It really did. Mark means too much for me to lose him. Please, Violet, don't tell Mark. I love him more than anything in the world and I know now, more than ever, that I never want to do anything to hurt him.'

‘It's a bit late for that.'

Oh my God. She's going to tell Mark and then he'll know my deep, dark secret. There is absolutely no way on this earth that he will marry me if he finds out what I've done. I've dug myself a massive pit of lies and I can't explain my way out of it.

‘Please, Violet, please don't tell him.'

I'm so far off the edge of the couch that I'm practically on the floor begging her not to tell Mark.

‘It's not my place to tell him, dear. But if you want to learn from my mistakes then you'll tell him yourself. You may be surprised with Mark. He has a big heart.'

‘No, he'll never forgive me,' I say, shaking my head.

‘Well, I'll leave it up to you, dear. But know this, when you
get him down the aisle it won't change things. That secret will eat away at you. You mark my words.'

I put my cup of tea down on the coffee table. It is suddenly making me feel really sick.

‘I should be going,' I say. I know I've barely been here half an hour but I just need to get some fresh air.

‘Penelope, look, I'm not going to tell Mark. You don't have to tell him either. If you say it is in the past then I believe you. I can see that you sincerely regret it.'

‘I do, I do,' I say, agreeing with her.

Maybe she understands after all. Maybe she won't make me tell Mark.

‘You know, you're putting me in a difficult position, Mark being my grandson. I only want what's best for him.'

‘And so do I, Violet.
So do I
. I may have made a mistake, but I want to move forward with my life, with Mark by my side.'

‘I really hoped that by telling you my story you'd confess to Mark, but I'm not going to force you. If I've learnt anything from living as many years as I have it's that everything works out for the best in the end.'

I'm not entirely sure what Nanny Violet is trying to say, but all I know is I have to get out of here as soon as possible, before I faint.

‘I'll see you at the wedding,' I say to Violet as I dash out of the living room and towards the front door.

‘I'll be there,' she says after me.

Far from giving me the fresh air I need, the warm air hits me as I leave the bungalow.

I know that Violet doesn't agree with me not telling Mark, but this is completely different from her situation. She fell for her husband's best friend. It's not like I'm having an affair or anything.

I'm sure once the wedding is over the guilt will fade and the wedding will just be one of many magically memorable days for us. That's just as long as Violet is true to her word and doesn't tell Mark.

This time next week I'll be waking up a picture of peace and tranquillity as I glide through my preparations as the calmest bride ever on a wedding day. Or more likely, I'll wake up in a blind panic wondering how I'm possibly going to be ready on time for my big day with the biggest spot you've ever seen which, knowing my skin, will have popped up overnight on my nose. That is how my life works out.

It has been almost a week since Nanny Violet revealed she knew my secret. Despite being on tenterhooks for the first few days when Mark got back from his stag do, I'm now convinced that she is as good as her word. The bonds of sisterhood seem to be tighter than those of blood at the moment.

Coming to the museum today feels odd. I'm suddenly not sure how I'm supposed to act around Ted. Now that I know
his secret and I know that at one point he wanted to marry Violet, it is all too much to take in.

I know that Ted did get married, as his wife died a couple of years ago. That's why he volunteers here, so that he gets out and about and mixes with other people. It's weird to think that he could have been married to Violet; their lives could have been so drastically different.

Looking at my watch I realise I've only got half an hour left before Lou picks me up for the hen do. I can't wait.

I know that I'm going to have much more fun on the hen do than Mark did on his stag do. From the little snippets I've found out about, it seemed like the stag do was a form of cruel and unusual punishment.

I also hope with Lou being pregnant that I don't come back looking as rough as Mark did. Although unfairly he's bounced back quickly; I'm not sure I'd do the same.

Today at the museum we're supposed to be making tunic bags, but there has been a bit of a halt in the production line as we've run out of Velcro. Lilian and Betty have gone off for a cup of tea in the tea rooms and Nina seems to have passed out in the corner. She looks how I imagine I will tomorrow morning, like she's had no sleep and has been dragged through a hedge backwards
and
forwards.

I decide to pass the time by texting Mark, who should be just back from his Saturday golf.

PENNY

Are you missing me already? x

He's clearly assumed the position for watching sport and is tucked up in his armchair as he texts back almost instantly.

MARK

No more than normal. You've only been gone two hours. x

That might be true but Mark obviously failed the first test there. He's supposed to say of course he misses me, and that he always misses me when we're apart.

PENNY

What are your plans for the day? Lots of sport? x

MARK

I was thinking of tidying the spare room. Don't forget my cousin Liz is going to stay there the night of the wedding
.

I
had
forgotten that. She is a student and she can't afford to stay in the hotel where we are all staying. Mark's mum thought it was a good idea to have someone in the house. Something about wedding announcements in the paper and wedding gifts in the house.

I make a mental note to make sure we have enough clean sheets as my mum will be staying the night before to keep me company, and then I make a mental note to get Mum to change the sheets after she gets up. It's not like I can do it. I'll have far more important things to do as the bride.

Once I've made all the mental notes a slight sweat breaks out across my forehead as I realise the enormity of the situation. Mark is going to clean out the spare room. The spare room where I keep my secret shoe supply. Surely he'll twig that I bought them in secret if he sees all the boxes and the shoes?

PENNY

Don't bother with that. She's a student, she's used to mess
.

Stereotyping students? Me? Never.

MARK

Well, it will need to be done at some point soon as I'm sure we'll be looking at stage six after the wedding
.

My stomach does a tiny somersault as it always does when Mark hints about babies. There is something so sexy about it. I can just imagine Mark with a baby resting on his shoulder,
topless and suddenly in black and white. Oh, whoops! I've put Mark into an Athena poster of the late eighties. Ah, my first real love.

PENNY

Just leave it. We'll have plenty of time to worry about that after the wedding x x

I put an extra kiss on that text to make him realise that I didn't mean to be harsh. I just wish he wouldn't do sorting out stuff when I'm not there to supervise. And by supervise, I mean hide all the stuff I don't want him to see.

MARK

Don't worry, I know about your secret shoe stash. I've always known. I don't have that bad a memory, you know, Miss ‘These are old, I've had them years'
.

Oh bugger; I'm busted. I can't believe he's known all this time. For years I've been buying shoes and trotting round the patio in them before he gets home from work, just to scuff the bottoms up a bit. And he's known all along. I can't believe he didn't say.

PENNY

Oh, in that case bring on the cleaning spree! x x

I can now relax once more and my shoulders are no longer rubbing the bottom of my earlobes. My phone buzzes into life. Lou is calling; she must be early.

‘Hello.'

‘Hey, I'm here at reception!'

‘Be up in a second.'

It's not like anyone is going to miss me with the Velcro drama that has unfolded.

‘Nina, can you tell Cathy I've gone?'

Nina doesn't answer me back. I'm about to lift her head to see if she is still breathing when her fingers scrunch together and she forms a thumbs -p motion.

I grab my bag and run upstairs. As I've been volunteering here for three months I've learned there is a sneaky way to reception that avoids the maze of corridors. It does involve me appearing out of the back of a Home Guard tableau and getting quite intimate with one of the mannequins. But Captain Mainuring, as the mannequin is known, has never complained. You just have to make sure there are no visitors in the vicinity or else they think the mannequins have come to life and you scare them off.

When I get into reception the small area is full of pink helium balloons.

‘What the …?' I mutter before I see underneath all the pink foil is Lou.

‘Happy hen night!' she says, thrusting three helium balloons into my hand. Each balloon is bright pink and has a different cheesy last-night-of-freedom type motto.

Before I know it, Lou has dressed me up in the tackiest of outfits. I'm still in my jeans and jumper, but I now have a tiara, a veil and LED-flashing L-plates.

Lilian and Ted are standing there and I give them a look that says ‘Please help me'. But they take it to mean I'm fine and they give me a little wave before bundling me and the balloons out through the revolving doors. I'm sure that the flashing L-plates aren't good for the low levels of lighting needed at the museum.

‘So where are we going then? Or do I not want to know?'

‘Relax, relax,' says Lou. ‘Here.'

She passes me a blindfold as we get into the car.

‘No way. I'm not being blindfolded. I know what your driving is like. I want to be able to see.'

‘Really? I would have thought you'd find it preferable to the eye-scrunching you usually do.'

The woman has a point. I take the blindfold and put it on over the veil. Please, dear Lord, do not let us break down.

By the time we reach our destination I feel thoroughly sick. It turns out wearing a blindfold while in the car with Lou is a lot like seasickness. Speaking of seasickness, is that the sea I can smell?

‘Here we are,' says Lou.

From what I can tell from the blindfold she is now at the passenger side door. I can feel her leaning over me and then I hear the pop before my seatbelt pings undone.

‘Can I take the blindfold off yet?' I ask.

‘OK, then.'

Ripping off the blindfold I suddenly have to cover my eyes as for once the sun is shining. Of course the sun is shining today. This means that it will be raining next week on my wedding day, as we all know that you can't have two nice weekends in a row with British weather.

‘Where are we?'

I look up to see we're parked next to a static caravan. A caravan? For my hen do? Really? Mark gets to stay in a hunting lodge and I get a caravan?

I look at Lou for some explanation for this.

‘Don't kill me. This is your sister's idea, but they're apparently luxury caravans and there's a spa on site.'

I'm trying not to project my sceptical feelings on to my face. I'm reminding myself that people are here for my enjoyment and I should stop being such a princess.

‘Great. Let's get in there then. I could do with a glass of water,' I say.

‘Glass of water? I may not be drinking, but there will be none of that.'

I walk into the caravan and I hear a champagne cork pop.

‘Surprise,' shouts my sister Becky.

The caravan is a lot roomier than it looked from the outside; it is positively a Tardis. Instead of having the makeshift seats and the annoyingly restrictive fixed tables that I remember of caravanning when I was a child, there is a giant L-shaped leather sofa and a kitchen that is actually big enough to cook in.

‘Wow, this place is great.'

I go over and give my sister a hug before taking a glass of champagne and saying my hellos to the rest of the crew that are here.

‘This is suddenly very exciting,' I say, sipping on my champagne. ‘What are we going to do?'

‘We figured we'd chill out in the hot tub for a bit before we get ready for our night out tonight,' says Becky.

‘Hot tub?' I ask. Did I really hear that right?

‘Out the back,' says Becky, as she opens up the patio doors.

I poke my head outside to see the wooden veranda with a hot tub on one side and patio furniture on the other. Caravanning has suddenly gone up in my estimation.