Dominique (29 page)

     
I looked down at my hands and fingered the handkerchief.
 
“N-No, Sir.
 
This girl doesn’t know what else to say.
 
She is sorry, Sir.
 
She has been careless and displeasing and her focus has wavered.
 
She knows she acted poorly and she knows she can do better.
 
Please, Sir.
 
She ... She’ll do anything!” I pleaded, looking up at him.
 
“She’ll accept anything!
 
Please let her prove herself to you, Sir.
 
She knows she should be punished.
 
Please punish her, Sir.
 
Make it all go away,
please
...”
 
My tears returned in a rush, and for a moment I felt cold and alone.
 
Kate was right.
 
I
was
a cry-baby.

     
“You are going to be taught a lesson.”

     
Falling at his feet and kissing his shoes, I whispered, “Thank you, Sir.
 
Thank you.
 
Thank you.”
 
Joy and relief seemed to merge.
 
I can do this.
 
I WILL do this.

     
“I want you to trust me today.
 
Let go
.
 
Understood?”

     
Gazing up at him, the look on his face was one I would never forget.
 
His eyes bored into me with a determination that seethed.
 
And the strangest thing was, I
loved
it.
 
Without saying a word, he spoke to my centre.
 
This is what you deserve.
 
I nodded, whispering, “Yes.
 
Anything.”

     
His hand appeared before my eyes and I held it and he lifted me back to my knees.
 
“Trust me to make decisions regarding your limits, Dominique.
 
Accept my will.
 
Find freedom in letting go.
 
Let me decide what is right and what is wrong, and what is important and what is not.
 
Confess without fear.
 
The truth can only bring us together.”

     
I dropped my gaze to the ground and nodded again.
 
Taking another deep breath, I asked softly, “May this girl speak, Sir?”

     
“Only if she addresses me by my rightful name.”

     
I glanced up again.
 
Was that a smile?
 
Biting my lip, I whispering, “Thank you, M-Master.
 
I ...”
 
Paul and Kate seemed to fade into the background as I spoke.
 
“I feel humbled, Master.
 
Humbled that you care enough to help me become the submissive you desire, and the submissive I want to be.
 
I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve the chance to earn your forgiveness, but thank you for that chance.”
 
I swallowed, resolving to do anything for this man.
 
Andrew.
 
My Master.
 
“I want nothing more than to please you.
 
My heart, mind and body are yours.
 
Master, I know I have let you down.
 
And I’m sorry beyond my ability to describe.
 
I’ll do better, Master.
 
I’m
determined
to make you proud of me again.”

As I listened to Dominique’s thoughtful words, I was touched by her simple honesty.
 
She knew what was expected of her and she knew she should not have defied me.
 
Even taking everything else into consideration, there would be a price to pay for that.
 
Gazing down on her, I set my jaw.
 
“Go to your room and strip.
 
Get your collar.
 
Do
not
put it on.
 
You don’t deserve it.
 
Proceed to my study and kneel in the middle of the room facing away from the door.
 
I do
not
want your face to be the first thing I see when I walk through that door.
 
Place your collar on the floor behind you.
 
I want it out of your sight.”
 
I threw the key to the ground in front of her.
 
“Now,
GO!”
 
Picking it up and scrambling to her feet, she excused herself and hurried past us up to the house.
 
When she was out of earshot, I turned to Paul.
 
“I don’t know what came over her.”

     
“They all have their setbacks,” Paul offered kindly.

     
“Yes, yes.
 
I know you’re right.”

     
“Would you like us to leave?” he asked.

     
“No, I’d like you both to stay.
 
I’m going to need your help with what I have in mind.”

     
“Hmmm.
 
Well, I’m sure Kate won’t mind a change in plans.
 
Her dominance needs work anyway,” he added, chuckling.
 
Kate pouted then giggled, and I couldn’t help but smile.
 
Paul was a good friend, and though he was
humouring
me, I could see the concern in his face.
 
Hindsight was a wonderful thing.

     
“I tend to agree with you,” I said, and we all laughed.
 
“What about you Kate?
 
Do you have anything you’d like to add to this conversation?” I asked.

     
“I would be pleased to play any part you would like me to play, Sirs,” she replied eagerly.
 
“But, may I just say something?”

     
“Go ahead.”

     
“Well I um ... I just think you are both very lucky, Sir.
 
Dominique is adorable and you make a wonderful couple.”

     
Paul concurred.
 
“She’s right, you know.”

     
“Yeah, I know.
 
And thanks.
 
All right.
 
I’ll explain how I want this to pan out, and then we’ll go on up.
 
No rush.
 
We’ll let her sweat for a bit.”

     
“Sounds like a plan, my friend,” Paul said, giving me a wink.

     
“Okay.
 
I want it to go like this ...”

Oh my God!
 
Oh my God!
 
Oh my God!
 
I thought I was going to be sick.
 
Quickly pulling off my clothes, I stood naked in front of the mirror.
 
My mascara had run and I looked like a sad clown.
 
As I breathed deeply, I held my hand in front of my eyes and my fingers shook like leaves in the breeze.
 
Determined to make a good impression, I ran into the bathroom and washed my face.

     
His words echoed in my mind, haunting me.
 
‘Is there something else, Dominique?
 
Something deeper?’

     
When Andrew said that, I hesitated and I thought I knew why.

     
Sometimes I felt like two women.
 
One of them completely accepted and relished her submission.
 
She delighted in bringing pleasure to the one she loved.
 
She had never felt as happy and as content as she did when she submitted.
 
Everything made sense to her.
 
She accepted the fact that very few people were like her.
 
She was sexually secure.
 
Satisfied.
 
Balanced.

     
Then there was the other woman.
 
She was hurt.
 
Hurt by her own rejection of the norms of the society in which she was raised.
 
She wondered why the man she loved didn’t treat her like a princess.
 
She thought she should be worshipped and spoilt.
 
She was still in there.
 
She was my vanilla conscience.

     
As I dried my face with the bath towel, I tried to convince her that what she didn’t or couldn’t understand was that she
was
being worshipped and spoilt.
 
She had
never
been listened to as intently as Andrew listened to her.
 
Her desires and her fears had
never
been given as much attention as Andrew gave them.
 
She had
never
been treated as respectfully as Andrew treated her.

     
After running a comb through my hair, I ran over to the window.
 
I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Kate pouring fresh drinks for them.
 
Still, I wanted to be ready.
 
Walking quickly over to the bedside table, I retrieved my collar.
 
God, I was so nervous.
 
I steeled myself.
 
This is what he wants.
 
This is what I deserve.

     
I headed for his study.

In time we finished our drinks and ambled up to the house.
 
I’d given Dominique plenty of time, and the three of us knew our roles.
 
Paul thought I was absolutely right, and Kate made the point that I shouldn’t back off now, not when it was clear that Dominique was expecting something ‘special’.
 
I thanked them for their input as we pushed open the back door and soon stood at the threshold of my study.

     
Kate murmured, “Wow.”
 
Paul admonished her, but it was okay.
 
I had the urge to say the same thing.
 
Only the low lamp next to the toy box on the side table had been turned on.
 
It lit up the wall with the mounted playthings.

     
Dominique’s skin flickered golden in the sixty or seventy candles she had hastily lit.
 
Kneeling in the classic style with her back to us as ordered, she was naked and her skin glistened as she breathed.
 
She was oiled from head to toe, black hair shimmering.
 
The silver locket of her collar glinted from the floor behind her.

     
I surveyed the room for any other surprises.
 
A bowl of dip and crackers sat on the coffee table, flanked by a jug of iced water and three glasses.
 
I was pleased there weren’t four.
 
For a submissive in trouble she was working hard at putting things right.

     
“Dominique ... do not speak ...”
 
It was so quiet I could hear her breathing.
 
“Put your hands behind your head and lace your fingers together.”
 
She did so without hesitating.
 
I motioned for Paul and Kate to move to the lounge area and observe.
 
Moving in the opposite direction, I said, “Do not move Dominique.
 
Do not look at me or anyone until I say you may.”

     
Taking my crop from its mount, I clipped it to my belt and opened the toy box, retrieving a coil of silk rope.
 
I walked up behind Dominique.
 
“Arms straight up over your head, hands clasped together.”
 
She did so.
 
I wound the silk rope up her wrists, binding them together with a nod to the
shibari
style Paul likes so much.
 
I looked over to him and he nodded and smiled.
 
Kate was watching intently.
 
I turned back to Dominique and said, “Keep your hands straight up over your head.”
 
I leaned down and picked up her collar from the floor behind her.

     
Dangling it in front of her face, I hissed, “Do not speak.”
 
She nodded almost imperceptibly.
 
“This is your collar.
 
“ I dropped it to the floor in front of her and continued.
 
“It is a symbol Dominique.”
 
I unclipped my crop.
 
“Thirteen months ago we began this journey together.
 
The collar I placed around your neck signified the beginning of ‘us’.
 
You were to respect
it
by respecting
me
.”
 
I punctuated each point with a slap of the crop against my calf.
 
“The collar tells you that you are
different
.”
 
Slap
.
 
“It tells you that you are
mine
.”
 
Slap
.
 
“And it tells you that you are
owned
.”
 
Slap
.