Divine Phoenix (16 page)

“This is beautiful.”

Proving her hormones were still on the rampage, a mental image popped into her mind of him gathering her hair in his hands gently tugging on it as he entered her from behind while whispering in her ear. She shuddered lightly when the thought turned her on, but thoughts of her ex-husband ruined the moment. JT had pulled her hair during sex, using it as a leash and yanking roughly on it. She slammed the door on the memory. She still hated her hair, but knowing that Clay and Del both admired it made her hate it a little less.

When she merely nodded, he added, “Let me guess. It was your ex’s idea, wasn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“Men love long hair. I love it, but I don’t blame you if you cut it off.” Adopting a pleading tone, he said, “Just don’t go super short. It’s so pretty long.”

“I’ll bear that in mind, cowboy.”

His tanned, somewhat weather-beaten face broke into a smile. “Cowboy?”

“Sure. If you’re going to be a rancher then I want to call you cowboy.”

“I’m more used to reining in a Humvee. That’s gonna take some getting used to.”

“It’s good to have you home safe. Was it rough in the desert? Mountains? I don’t know where you were.”

“Both. All over.” That was all he offered, and she left it at that, not wanting to pry.

“I’m going to start seeing a counselor tomorrow, about my…stuff.”

Concern for her formed a crease between his eyebrows. “Oh, yeah? PTSD?”

She nodded as he put his arm around her shoulders. “Yes. I haven’t been sleeping well. Nightmares. Panic attacks. I had trouble last night with the storm blowing through.”

“Clay mentioned you couldn’t sleep. Still scared of storms?”

“Yeah. That’s gotten worse. I have a lot of issues I need to sort out. I journal a lot and that helps but doing it on my own hasn’t worked too well. Del, if you ever want to talk, I’m here for you, okay?”

Del smiled down at her warmly and kissed the top of her head. “Thank you, Lily Bell.”

* * * *

Del gently fingered the strands of her hair that fell down her back. Lily was a portrait of contrasts. He could see the girl she had been in the woman she had become, but the fire that had always burned brightly within her was now banked. He noticed it most with the way she considered her words before she spoke. When he knew her years ago, she had rarely ever filtered her thoughts before speaking her mind. The hesitancy was almost poignant for him to see because he’d appreciated her bluntness.

But on the other hand, the softened edges also added to her beauty. Her eyes reflected the soul of a person who had lived beyond her years and borne a lot of trials. The fact that she had not grown bitter was a testament to her strength because he knew how easily that could happen.

Lily placed her warm hand on his forearm. “I won’t pry into personal stuff and I promise I won’t judge you.”

How did she know that was at the core of his fear? His failure to save one innocent woman had haunted him since retiring from Browder-McCormick, a private military company. Even though the failure had been a company-wide failure, he still felt personally responsible. The screams of a guiltless woman as she died by torture powered his nightmares every night and were enough to make him wish he never had to sleep at all.

Del looked into her eyes and saw her sincerity and was about to reply when the waiter returned to their table. “Could I offer you dessert?”

Lily shook her head and was about to refuse when he placed his hand on her thigh. “Do you still have the best peach cobbler in Texas?”

The waiter grinned and nodded. “How about a big slice, a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and two spoons?”

Del grinned at the way she jammed her lips together and replied, “That sounds about perfect but make it just the one spoon.”

“I’ll be right back with it, sir.”

When the waiter was gone, Lily said, “Thanks. The last thing
I
need is dessert.”

He had every intention of her having dessert, but he kept his thoughts to himself as her thigh twitched under his hand. She bit her lip and glanced down at it then looked up at him with a tinge of extra pink in her cheeks, but she didn’t remove it. So he left it right where it was. It felt right.

“I…” Her voice dwindled off, and he watched her swallow and then lick her lips, which he would’ve had to be a dead man not to react to. His cock tingled and lengthened. Her earlier words came to mind, about him and Clay finding a perfect little woman to shack up with, and it surprised the shit out of him when his cock did not go limp but hardened some more.
Did not know that about myself.

“You…what?”

Lily sounded a little flustered when she giggled and said, “I forgot what I was going to say.” She glanced at him, and he could practically feel the heat from her pink cheeks. He liked putting a blush there. The waiter brought the dessert and placed it in front of him. He lifted his hand from her thigh and held the dish while he gathered a bite on the spoon. She looked up in confusion when he held the spoon in front of her mouth.

“What? That’s
your
dessert.”

Gazing into her eyes, he said one expectant word. “Open.”

Her lips parted obediently and he got even harder. He was in the habit of keeping his cock in check because he’d often been in unsafe, combat situations. Letting his libido off the chain wasn’t a good idea because it led to distractions he didn’t need. Now, he was like an eighteen-year-old boy with a “perma-boner.”

He got a brief glimpse of her tongue as she took the bite, and his cock twinged with need. He wasn’t sure what was hotter, her obedience as he fed her another bite or the way her lips closed over the spoon.

Preparing to take a bite for himself, he asked, “Is it good?”

Lily nodded, keeping her eyes locked on his. “Yes. Very.”

“I like that you’ll let me feed you. Does it feel weird to you?”

Lily’s reddish-brown eyebrows furrowed. “No. Should it?” That might be what she said, but her cheeks still flushed and she looked away for a moment, almost as though she felt a little guilty or embarrassed.

“I haven’t seen you in ages. I wanted to share dessert with you like that but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I shouldn’t be eating sweets but otherwise it’s…actually kind of nice. Does it feel okay to you?” Lily rolled her eyes in embarrassment. “Did that sound as insecure to you as it did to me?”

Del chuckled. “I knew what you meant. I’m sure glad to be back and I’m even happier that you came back to us. I mean…came back to Divine.”

Lily giggled when heat crept up into
his
cheeks. “I’m glad I’m not the
only
one that keeps happening to. Welcome home, cowboy.” She wrapped her arms around him and he returned the gesture.

He fed her another bite and said, “I don’t know why you’re worried about a little dessert. You look fantastic.”

“Thank you.” She tucked her hair behind one ear and took the bite he offered. “That’s enough for me. You eat the rest.”

“Silly woman. I’d fatten you up some more if you’d let me.” She gaped speechlessly at him and trembled slightly when he gently ran his hand over her hair down her back. Feeling daring, he said, “Did I ever tell you that you were the first girl I ever kissed?”

Lily giggled. “No. You didn’t but we were what, eleven- or twelve-year-olds? It was a safe assumption. You were my first, too.”

“Followed very closely by your second, as I recall.” His recollection of that moment was clear as a bell.

Clay had climbed up onto the large roots of a cypress tree on the bank of the Divine Creek and had gotten Del’s attention. “Hey, butt-face, I dare you to give Lily a kiss.”

“Shit, are you crazy? She’d kick my ass,” Del had whispered back.

“Don’t be a chickenshit. If you do it, I’ll give you my allowance this week.” Clay had grinned when he knew he had Del’s attention. If Clay gave him his allowance, he’d have had enough to finally buy that new Atari game.

“Okay. But she’s gonna bust my ass.” To be able to play that new game would’ve been worth it though, and Del hadn’t wanted to be called a chickenshit. He’d jumped down from the tree root and approached the big rock she’d been sitting on by the creek bank. Lily seemed distracted and quiet lately and he was able to sneak up on her almost without her realizing it.

When he planted one square on her unsuspecting lips, Lily had gasped and blushed. He’d braced himself for her to sock him in the jaw, but she’d sat there frozen, leaving an opening for Clay to do the same thing. Afterward, they’d both looked at each other over her head while she sat there stunned, then shrugged and jumped into Divine Creek again. Once they both surfaced, Del said, “You kissed her, too, so we’ll call it even.” He’d never felt cheated for having to wait that extra week to buy his copy of Millipede. Nothing had ever been said about it afterward.

“Happy memories like that got me through the last twelve years.” She looked up at him and he glimpsed that old soul in her eyes again. “I often wished I’d done more than sit there like a bump on a log.”

Wishing for a different path in life for her did no good. “We’re here now, huh?” She nodded and he squeezed her tight. This moment felt like the start of a fresh chapter in his life. He was glad she was there for it.

* * * *

Clay checked the clock again as he sat at his workbench. He’d already decided to invite Del over for supper so they could do some more catching up that evening. He looked forward to Lily’s return from lunch and both of them getting home. When he’d lived alone, his habit had been to sculpt until late at night, but now he looked forward to evenings spent with Lily. Even when he was in his studio working, she was a good company, studying while he did his thing. He avoided thinking of how empty his house would be once her house was finished and she was gone.

“Knock, knock. Clay?” At the familiar female voice, Clay turned from his workbench. Grace Warner stood hesitantly in the doorway.

“Oh, hey, Grace! Come on in. What can I do for you? Was Tabitha not out there?”

Grace nodded but didn’t complain. “She was busy with a customer. I’m sorry to drop back in unannounced, I can come back at a better time.”

Clay shook his head. “No, now is fine. What’s on your mind?” He patted Lily’s stool and Grace sat down.

“Well, I was still in the shopping center and decided to come back by. I know Jack invited you to the hog hunt in January, and Lily already told me she would come to the sleepover. But I wanted to include your brother in the invitation. Since he’s more or less new in town, he might enjoy getting to know all the guys.”

Clay smiled at Grace, wondering if she understood the subtle impact she had on the lives of others around her. This is what she did, taking care of people, making sure they were comfortable and felt like they belonged. She’d always done her best to include him, even trying to play matchmaker.

He felt certain Grace was that way because she knew how it felt to be on the outside looking in. He knew that because he understood how it felt to be on the outside. Being a creative, artistic type, even as a small scrawny kid, had gotten him picked on until puberty had hit and he’d bulked up enough to defend himself.

“I think Del would like that.”

“And of course you know that means he’s also invited to the roast and bonfire the weekend afterward.”

Clay nodded and said, “I’ll definitely encourage him to go. He should be settled by then out at the ranch.”

Grace hesitated then said, “Lily seems to be doing well. She’s lost quite a bit of weight.”

Clay nodded. “Yeah. Almost too much. She’s been working out a lot.” He recalled her rubbing her knee earlier and made a mental note to ask her about it.

Grace nodded as though she understood. “It’s tough sometimes. When the opportunity to make changes comes along, it’s easy to lose sight of the actual goal in favor of the action of taking control. Especially when you’ve had no control of your life for a while. Are the two of you doing okay together?”

“Oh yeah.” Because Grace had sensitive radar, Clay changed the subject before she could ask anything else about the two of them. “How is the writing gig? Still spinning sexy fairy tales?” He made eye contact and smiled when he said it so she’d know he wasn’t making fun of her.

Grace leaned against his work table and said, “It’s pretty great actually. It looks like Rose Marie’s college is paid for already. You know it’s funny you should ask because I’d love to visit with you and do some research for a sexy goldsmith I’m writing a story about.”

“Oh, yeah? Does he get the girl?”

Grace laughed and winked. “Actually, he
and
his cousin get the girl.”

Oh, sure. Plant thoughts in my head, Grace.
“Do men ever read your books?”

Grace smiled and sighed as she nodded. “I hear from the brave ones who are grateful because they reap the ‘secondary benefits’ from their wives’ reading. One man told me my books gave his wife a fresh outlook on marriage and sex, when he thought they were in the ‘downhill slide’ years. He snuck his wife’s e-reader on a day off and read one of my books. He realized that every woman wants a fairy tale, but he said where men get it wrong is thinking
they know
what a woman’s fairy tale looks like.”

“Do you answer all your e-mail and letters, and stuff? That must take a lot of time.”

Grace nodded. “If they read my book and took the time to write, then I try to reply to every one of them.”

“Well, you can visit my workroom anytime you want.”

“Thanks. I’ll get out of your hair. By the way, I really like Lily. She fits in well around here. Enjoy the reunion with Del.”

After Grace left, Clay looked around the workroom. Lily had done a lot around the shop. She was responsible for things being tidier without ever having been asked to do so. The showroom seemed more inviting.

The workroom was definitely cleaner because Tabitha had never done any cleaning, beyond running the vacuum cleaner out front, and neither had he. Lily’s workspace was kept neat and organized, and she’d done a fantastic job with the online orders and the bank account was definitely reflecting the improvement.

She made herself indispensable at the shop, but she also made a difference at home, too. He couldn’t lie to himself. He wished she was there permanently.

His gaze landed on the “No Dating” policy on the bulletin board. The no dating rule had provided a buffer for him with Tabitha, but as he looked at it he realized it was no longer necessary. He owned the shop. He made the rule. He could unmake it.

He wanted to remove every hindrance to Lily coming to a place where she could finally commit her heart. Actually, her heart wasn’t the main obstacle. He understood that the tattoo was a big hindrance for her. But the notion that she had to
change
herself for him was his main obstacle now.

He knew remodeling the house was a big dream, but would she still feel the same if she knew how he felt? With regard to the night before, everything had been fine that morning. She hadn’t made a big deal out of his laid-back reaction to her needing to keep things casual.

He got up from his stool and walked to the bulletin board and stood looking at the sign. He heard the doorbell jingle out in the showroom as he pulled the pushpins from the corkboard. He took down the blue printed sign and tore it in half and then in half again.

“Well, it’s about time!”

He turned at Tabitha’s words, just in time to catch her as she threw her buxom body into his arms. “What—”