Divided (Unguarded #2) (26 page)

Anguish. It falls upon our shoulders with a weight I struggle to carry.

“Your mother was my greatest passion and my biggest weakness, Roamyn. And Giuseppe Marino knew it.”

“So he killed her,” I whisper. Everything falls into place.

Cannon nods. “Yeah, he did. Thank God you hid or he would have killed you too. I’d already lost Catherine and my baby girl she was carrying. I wasn’t going to lose you too. I sent you and your grandma away so he wouldn’t find you. The man wasn’t an idiot. He would have worked out you were mine if he hadn’t already. And we wanted revenge. I wasn’t going to have you around for the aftermath. I thought I was doing the right thing.”

He stares off, his expression pained. Digging up the past looks as brutal for him as it fucking feels having it laid out for me.

Regret etches into his voice. “But I’ve questioned that decision every day since Beth left with you.”

I choke back the strange emotion laying in my throat and get to the question I’m sure he’s waiting for me to ask. “What did you do?”

His eyes harden. “You asking as a son who lost his mother or as a cop?”

“I have no intention of bringing you down for defending her honor, Cannon. I just want to know what happened, so I can finally settle the questions in my head. I’ve been living too long in the past. Marino’s dead now, it’s time to move on.”

He waits a moment before answering. “We killed his lying bitch of a sister. Shot her. Called Marino. He met us at the warehouse where we had his sister’s body. And beside her were the four men who did actually rape her. They were alive. Well, they were until Giuseppe was done with them. He had fucked up and he knew it. My man had fucked up ever getting involved with Marino pussy. I’d be forever chasing revenge on Marino. But we couldn’t keep going the way we were. It was a blood bath every day. It was a war neither of us would win. So we settled the score. For then. Until the day, I got to kill him.”

I fold my arms across my chest. One hand rubs against the shadow on my jaw
.
“That’s why you’ve always helped us. It never made sense. Not really.”

“Well, I wasn’t doing it for the fuckin’ fun of it. In case you hadn’t noticed, Cole really isn’t one of my favorite fuckin’people. Bu
t
I had a plan, Roamyn. From the very beginning, I was always going to make that man pay for what he did to Catherine. I’d sent you away because it was the safest and right thing to do. You deserved everything your mother couldn’t have because she got involved with me. I wanted better for you. But that meant losing you, too. This life isn’t for everyone. And back then it was fuck of a lot worse than it is now. I was lucky if I made it through the day without getting shot at and you can bet your ass I slept with one eye open
.
I’d lost everything I loved most in this fucked up place. I had the rest of my life for retributio
n
and he deserved nothing short of a decade of torture. Over the years I made shit happen. It was subtle. He never suspected the random fuck-ups and set backs were the club’s doing, which was what I needed when I had more kids come along unexpectedly.”

My fists clench at my sides. My fingernails dig into the palms of my hand.
Marino.
I want to bring him back to life and kill him myself.

“Were you ever going to tell me who I was to you?”

Cannon lets out a heavy sigh. “Son, I didn’t know it was you for sure until I found out you were a cop. The moment I met you when you were on the streets I had my suspicions. But you went by King. Too much didn’t fit and I couldn’t be sure. I tried to find out. Used my people over in Cali to find out what they could, but all they could tell me was the date and why your grandma died and that you left California right after. If you were my kid. It was a long shot and confronting you was a risk for my club I just wasn’t willing to take. Not until I knew more. I’m sorry I hadn’t said anything once I did realize. But to be honest, I wasn’t sure you’d want to know.”

My heart slices open, because while he’s not right, I’m not entirely sure he’s wrong.

“I’ve spent most of my life asking myself questions I never thought I’d get the answers too. I have them now thanks to you. For that I’m grateful. Did I think my father would be the president of the Misery’s Angels Motorcycle Club? Fuck no. But don’t think for a second that I wouldn’t want to know you because of our different lifestyles. It’s messy and complicated. But it is what it is.”

What was supposed to come out kind comes out harsh. But it doesn’t matter. Resignation crosses Cannon’s face. Understanding fills the air without any need for words.

We’ll see where it goes.

I walk to the door and as I grab the brass door handle I turn around to him, hoping he can sense the sincerity in what I’m about to say. “Thank you.”

Thank you for loving my mother.

Thank you for making her happy.

Thank you for keeping me alive.

Thank you for helping kill the son of a bitch who took her from me.

A smile tugs at his lips. One so much like my own. “I’ll see you around then?”

“Yeah. Think you will.”

I shut the door behind me.

The darkness of the loft mirrors the mood I can’t shake. What a night. I trudge down the hall with soft steps in a half-assed attempt to not wake Ali. My mind’s elsewhere, stuck somewhere between learning the truth about my mother’s death and processing the idea of having an actual relationship with my father. Yeah, the MC President. Because that’s gonna work out awesome. I blow out a breath and run a hand through my hair. The closer I get to Ali’s room the louder the sound of the shower running becomes. My cloudy head clears and my brows furrow. Not because it’s got to be close to one a.m. but because I know what I’m in for when I step through the door. Regret lodges inside of me ready to strike my heart the second I see her. In the few hours I was gone she must have had another nightmare. Ali showering at all hours of the day and night isn’t something unusual. But it worries the fuck out of me on the bad nights. The nights of inconsolable crying, the gut wrenching screams when she’s asleep. The nights where she barely speaks and can’t handle me touching her. They happen, not to that extent every time but when they do it’s damn near unbearable to watch. And the worst part? I can’t always bring her back from it. Only she can. Most nights my arms around her is all it takes to calm her down. She tells me they guard her from her own thoughts. But tonight I left without telling her where I was going. I left her unguarded. I shrug off my shoes and clothes, eager to get to her. The steam from the shower greets me first. Ali’s soft curves peek through the glass and I can see her leaning against the wall, her head downcast. My hand reaches for the handle and I welcome the heat that follows. My cock stands half-mast as I take in her wet, naked body. Curling around her, I wrap an arm around her ribs. My thumbs caress the swell of her tits and my dick hits her back as she leans into me. She rests her head against my chest and a sigh escapes her lips.

Hot water pelts down on both of us.

Ali tilts her head up to meet my eyes. “You went to see him didn’t you?”

I nod, staring back at the woman who knows me so well. For the past month she’s known something was wrong, but she never pushed for me to talk about it. Right up until I did tell her. And tonight, whenever she woke up she’d guessed where I was gone. She never called to stop me, to tell me to come home, even if going there by myself was a terrible idea. She gets it. Some things you have to do alone. Sometimes you have to conquer the demons in your head on your own before you can let anyone else in to share the pain. I had to process a whole fucking life I never envisioned.

I nod. “Yeah. I did. I’m sorry I left without telling you.”

Her tired eyes close as she murmurs, “It’s okay. But can you just stay with me now? Please?”

Vulnerability slips through the cracks in her voice.

My hand tightens around her as I vow to never let her go. “Always.”

The wet green grass squelches beneath my shoes. It’s so vibrant green. Healthy. Alive. Which seems ridiculous when it’s surrounded by death. The umbrella digs into my palm as I hold it tight. The rain pelts down on us, heavy and loud. Ali’s small hand squeezes my arm and gives me a tight smile before stepping away from my mother’s and sister’s graves. After last night, I had to come. I needed to be with them when I let go. When I let go of the past twenty-nine years of anger. Obsession. The questions haunting me—all of it. Even the parts I may never remember again. She’s gone. A little girl I never got to meet is gone. Marino is dead. It’s time to move on. I bend down and balance on my knees. I kiss two fingers and rest them on my sister’s name. A name my father must have given her.

Lilly Tate.

Nausea spirals through me. I move over to my mother and inhale a deep breath. My lungs constrict with grief. My fingers sweep over the cold letters on her grave and goosebumps surface in their wake.

Catherine Lilly Tate.

“You can rest now, Mom. We all can. I love you,” I whisper.

Pain cuts into my throat. Holding back the water building in my eyes, I stand up and my feet whisk me away. I scoop Ali into my arms, bury my face in her neck and hold her tight. The past will always be painful. But it led me down a road that will always take me home. It led me to be right here, in this moment, where I hold my future in my arms—where Ali will stay, where our baby will stay, because this love it can never get lost.

Bottles clink in the door of the mini bar in our hotel room. I zip up the back of my dress and scan behind me in the mirror to find Lindsey pouring two champagnes, and by the looks of it, an orange juice for me.

Sipping on her drink, she sinks into one of the beds with matching bedding. “Ali you’re rocking the baby bump in that dress.”

I check myself out in the mirror, worrying over my growing stomach in this tight black dress. It fits well, comes to my knees. It isn’t completely terrible, but it’s not my usual style. “You think Roamyn will like it?”

Cass wanders out of the bathroom, joining in on our conversation. “Honey you could be wearing a sack and that man would only picture you one way.”

I force myself to leave the mirror for the beautiful view of Las Vegas fifty floors up. “Yeah, and how is that?”

I turn around as Lindsey and Cass share a look. They flick back to me like the answer’s obvious.

“Naked,” they both reply at the same time before breaking laughter.

I flop down on the other bed in the room, which sits beside Lindsey’s, trying not to pout because they look gorgeous in their outfits without a bump in sight. I love my bump. I love having this little person inside of me. But he or she does not make it easy to feel sexy.

“Yeah. That’s true. And speaking of naked, Cass, where is the rest of your dress?”

I raise a brow at her low cut backless dress that barely covers her ass and she gives me back innocent wide eyes.

“This is it. What? Don’t look at me like that, Ali. This might be a girls’ night out, crashed by the boys, but you two are getting laid tonight guaranteed. You…” she picks up her glass and points it at Lindsey, “…you and Mason won’t even make it back to one of the rooms. He’ll probably jump you in the elevator. And the second Roamyn decides he’s had enough he’ll just swing Ali over his shoulder and let the whole room know exactly what he’s about to do.”

She chugs down the entire glass of champagne before setting it down. I scrunch my nose up, muttering, “I’m not quite sure the swinging over the shoulder thing will work with the belly and all.”

Lindsey answers at the same time as I do, our voices meshing together. “Mason would probably do that.”

Cass pulls her lipstick out of her purse from the nightstand. “Yeah, yeah, so my point is made ladies. I’d like to get some action too.”

She reapplies it in the mirror with a gorgeous gold frame, much like everything else in this hotel. Mason and Lindsey spared no expense for the weekend, we’re living it up in luxury in one of the finest hotels in Vegas. Now if I can just get through the next twenty-four hours without feeling nauseous, it will be perfect.

“So Trey won’t be getting lucky tonight?” I ask, Cassidy stops applying the shade of pink to her lips and her face contorts like I’ve suggested something foul.

“Not with me he isn’t.”

Lindsey comes up beside Cass, fluffing up her long loose hair before walking over to the door. “You’re hard on the guy you know. He likes you, Cassidy.”

Yeah, he really does. He might flirt with everyone—men, women, hell it doesn’t matter—but when Cassidy’s in the room, he only has eyes for her. Neither of them will admit what the whole lot of us already see. I slip on heels I know I’m going to regret wearing in about two hours.

Cass tucks her lipstick away. “I’m sorry, have you two met Trey? The man screws anything with a vagina and the only person Trey likes… is Trey.”

A laugh rumbles up my throat. “Yeah, that’s not completely untrue.”

Within a few minutes we’re grabbing the keycard for later and on our way to meet the guys.

Cheers rip through the bar as everyone watches the fight on the television, the excitement amplifying the vibes amongst the crowd. Everyone’s smiling, happy and ready to let loose. Mason, Elias, Trey, Oliver and I sit around one of the round tables in the back. A half-dressed waitress smiles as she sets down our drinks. Trey and Elias flirt with her when Trey hands her some cash for the drinks. Oliver, on the other hand, takes no notice of her and Mason’s too busy watching the entrance for the girls.

I put my drink up to the guys. “Cheers, boys. To Mason’s last nights as a free man.”

Our glasses clink together, the boys’ holler, their deep voices echoing around us.

I throw my arm around Mason’s neck. “Two more nights, brother. Two nights until you’re an old married man.”

I let go of Mase and we all fall back into our seats.

He smiles. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Trey groans. “Dude. Enough with the sappy shit, Lindsey isn’t even here. And I’m not certain on this, but I’m pretty sure that’s not her thing. She’s kinda scary sometimes. All quiet and shit with her perfect smile, while secretly plotting my death when I make fun of her cooking.”

Oliver’s head tilts back as he laughs. “Oh man, you have no idea.”

Mason raises his voice over the growing loudness of the crowd. “She’s the most stubborn and challenging woman I’ve ever met in my life. Her attitude gets my dick harder than stone and now I get to marry her and have her in bed for the rest of my life. When you meet the woman that does that for you, Trey, you’ll get it.”

My heart burns and I think of Ali. He’s right. When it happens, you’ll get it. It happened to me when I least expected it. I didn’t recognize it or accept it because Ali in my mind was too young for me. It couldn’t have been love. I was wrong and I spent too damn long hard up for a woman twelve years younger than me. The day I finally got her under me I knew I’d never let her go.

Elias tucks his hands behind his head and relaxes back. “Well, while you love birds are getting married and producing mini-mes, I’m gonna sit here and enjoy the view.”

We laugh until his smile turns sour, his eyebrows draw in and he mutters under his breath, “Or maybe not.”

Our heads follow Eli’s eyes. My eyes bulge. Mason curses and Trey chokes on his drink until he slams it down on the table when Ali, Lindsey, and Cassidy sashay to our table.

“Oh fuck, no,” Trey says, standing from his seat as he glares at a scantily clad Cassidy. He points to where the girls came in from. “Turn your ass around and go put on some clothes.”

“Bite me, Trey,” she hisses.

He grins. “With pleasure, sweetheart.”

Yeah, she walked into that one.

Mason murmurs from beside me as we all watch the showdown. “He’s got no idea has he?”

I take another pull of my beer. “Not a fucking clue.”

The chair scrapes the floor as I stand and push it back. Mason follows suit and we greet our women.

“Hey, gorgeous.” I kiss Ali on the lips and she leans into it, deepening the kiss. I slide a hand down her to her ass and bunch the back of her dress in my hands. My back stiffens as I realize she’s not wearing any panties. I groan. What I wouldn’t do to rip the fucking dress off her right now and take her in front of the whole bar.

She breaks our kiss and stares up at me, desire swirling behind those blue eyes of hers. “Hey.”

My cock presses painfully against my pants, and as everyone at our table starts taking shots and dancing, I’m reminded why we’re here and how long it’s going to be before I can be balls deep in my woman. My eyes flicker around the bar, no one’s taking any notice of us, so I let go of Ali’s dress and bring a hand to her neck. I finger down her bare chest until I get to the material of her dress and graze my hand over one side, teasing her nipple. I dip my lips to her neck and nip her lightly while palming her breast. She lets out a small moan only I can hear and I slide my mouth to her ear. “That’s for teasing me with no panties and making me sit through the next few hours rock fucking hard.”

She gasps and when I pull away she holds me still. “Then I guess I shouldn’t tell you how wet I already am?”

She grins and sits down at the table like she didn’t just fill my head with enough mental images to drive me wild.

The next few hours pass surprisingly fast with drinks flowing, music blaring and good conversation. Except for when Ali slides a hand up my leg and tries to taunt me under the table, the little sexual deviant. Pregnancy hormones—some days they scare the shit out of me and other times, like tonight, they’re fucking awesome. My phone vibrates in my pocket and when I pull it out, I frown at the caller ID. I excuse myself from the table but my eyes boring holes into my phone mustn’t get past Mason because he follows me out.

I put the phone to my ear. “Hello.”

My father’s deep voice resonates worry through my system. “Roam. Cole with you?”

I glance at Mason. “Yeah, he is. I’ll put you on speaker.”

I click the loudspeaker option and put the phone out for Mason and I to hear. “What is it?”

“We got a new lead on Marino. We’re going to check it out now. If he’s there, we’ll bring him back and tie the fucker up until you get back from Vegas. Just wanted to let you know. If he ain’t there I’ll call back.”

Mason hammers out a million questions, fast and sharp, diving straight into cop mode and I can’t say I blame him. It’s been radio silence on the Marino front for a while now.

“Cole. Calm the fuck down. It’s your last hours of freedom before you’re tied to a bitch forever. We’ve got it covered back here.”

Mason narrows his eyes at my phone and as he goes to reply, I cut him off.

“You sure you got this, Cannon?”

“Yeah. I am.”

I stare at Mase as his unspoken question hangs between us.

Do I trust Cannon?