Divided (Unguarded #2) (16 page)

“Hey. It’s me again. Mason told me about the drug test. I’m sorry, Ali. I should have believed you.”

“Hey. Just calling in the hope that one day you might pick up the phone and talk to me.”

“Ali. Call me. Please.”

“Ali. You need to call me. Something’s happened.”

“I’ll see you in twenty.”

Roamyn’s voice filters through my room as I lay on my bed, staring at the roof I’m sure so many others have. One month has passed and in here a month resembled something more like ten. Noise travels through the open door across the room and I sit up, preparing for one of the on-duty nurses to wander into my room any minute. Roamyn will be here, and while just the thought sends my heart into a frenzied beat, I’m not ready for it. I’m not ready for him to see me still in a state of disarray.

I brush a hand through my long knotty hair and squint as the afternoon brightness of day shines through my window. Every bone in my body creaks. Today hadn’t been a good day after a terrible night. This isn’t how I want Roamyn to see me. I want him to see me rested, getting better and happy. I need him to see me surviving without him. It’s the only way for him to regain trust in me. And the only way for me to move forward. I can’t rely on him like I have and my messy hair, dark-ringed eyes and pajamas from last night are a testament to that. The nightmares are worse when he’s not curled around me, staying with me most nights until the sun comes up, whispering calming words in my ear. These past few nights were nothing short of horrific. I’d woken up screaming, crying, and calling out his name. My subconscious still needs him as much as my heart still wants him. It’s exactly why I can’t have him.

A light tap comes from the door followed by Linda’s voice, “Sweetie. Detective Tate is here to see you. Should I bring him through?”

I grimace at one of my regular nurses and without saying a thing, she nods. “It’s okay. I’ll let him know you’re not up for it today.”

The staff are aware of what happened the night at the bar, and right now I’m thankful for the embarrassment the night cost me because I saw understanding in Linda’s eyes. I need understanding. I need someone to agree with me that this is the best thing to do so I keep believing it myself. That keeping Roam at a distance, trying to do this thing on my own is the only way I’ll make a full recovery from the addiction. I can’t depend on him. I can’t transfer one addiction to another.

I shift on my feet and glance around. Waiting anxiously. I don’t want to wait for the nurse to come back and say I can’t go in. I need to see her. I need to tell her that her best friend’s missing for some unexplainable reason. The nurse wanders out, sullen expression lining her face, everything I don’t want to see.

“I’m sorry, Detective. She’s not really up for visitors today.”

I nod, reluctantly. “Okay.”

Sadness falls through despair and I ask, “How’s she doing?”

A sigh falls from her followed by a sad smile. “She’s going be to be okay.”

I nod. “That’s all I need to know.”

“For what it’s worth, I know she misses you.”

Blow to my heart.

I force a smile. “Thanks.”

I trudge back to my room after a group therapy session, smiling and waving goodbye to a few of the other residents that I’ve sort of become friends with. I get to my door and find someone else I’ve found friendship in.

“Hey you.”

Cassidy’s head turns around at my greeting and when she smiles at me, her eyes do too. There’s something about her. She’s the kind of person who lights up a room just being her. She’s beautiful, smart—everything I’m not. But I think it’s why we click.

“Hey. Can I come in?”

I jut out a hand. “After you.”

I shut the door behind us and Cass takes a seat on the edge of my bed.

She eyes me up and down before bringing her gaze back to mine. “You look good today. How are you feeling?”

This is what I like about her. With Cassidy, there’s no judgment. Ever. She came to visit me a few weeks after the dreadful night I bared my soul to Roamyn. She walked on in. She asked me how I was doing and she invited herself to stay for a while. She listened to me whine. She listened to me cry. She just listened. We’ve been friends ever since.

I flop down beside her. “I’m good. How are you?”

She doesn’t reply straight away. I turn my head to find her lips pressed together, eyes downcast.

Concern rocks through me. “What’s wrong?”

“Ali, I have to tell you something. It’s the same thing Roam came to tell you yesterday when you wouldn’t see him.”

She crosses and uncrosses her legs, refusing to look at me. My heart pounds.

“What is it, Cass?”

Finally, she turns my way, pain etching through the crinkles around her eyes where her skin is bunching. “I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but Adriana Marino was reported missing yesterday.”

“What?” I stutter. “Why?”

My mind races for reasoning.

Cass holds up her hands. “I’m sorry, but we don’t know.”

Unease tickles my back.

“Could you tell me even if you did know?”

She grimaces her head tilting. “Probably not. But if I find anything out I’ll let you know, okay? And if you hear from her can you give me a call?”

I nod. “Yeah, of course.”

She stands from my bed and squeezes my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Ali. I have to get back to work. Roamyn just wanted to make sure you knew right away.”

My chest tightens. Of course, he did. Always looking out for me. Why does the man have to be so damn hard to avoid?

“Thanks, Cass.”

Four Months Later

I pull my clothes out of my suitcase and transfer them to the drawer in the dresser. Over the top of the radio playing lowly in the background, I hear Lindsey’s voice followed by the door to the loft slamming closed.

“My God, did the clinic have to rent out a second room just for your stuff? Where did all this shit come from? You didn’t have it before.” I hear her yell, and I can’t help the smile pulling at my lips. I breathe in. Carefree. The Marino men are in prison. I’m safe. I’m now home from rehab and I’m reunited with my sister. A sense of calm warms inside of me like it never has before. There’s no chaos. No crazy. No drugs. Not even Roamyn. Just me, being me, being enough. I’ve gained control over my nightmares and anxiety thanks to therapy, and slowly I’m making tracks on a path to recovery. It’s amazing, despite the hole in my heart I can’t seem to fill with any amount of positive thinking or inspirational muse. I miss him every day.

I poke my head out around the corner to answer Lindsey. “If you’ve never seen it before, it’s probably Cassidy’s or Adriana’s. Cass lent me stuff while I was in rehab and Adriana’s, well she hasn’t ever come to get any of it back.”

Thoughts of the other two girls closest to me overwhelms me with a swirl of mixed emotions. Cassidy is becoming a great friend. After she started visiting me, I realized the kind of people Roamyn surrounds himself with. They’re good people. Loyal, caring and willing to go to any lengths to protect the ones they love. Their compassion is admirable, inspiring, and now I know where Roamyn gets it from. I’d witnessed it with Mason and his growing love for Lindsey. I’d heard it in Cassidy’s voice as she talked about Elias and their family. I’d felt every bit of Roamyn deep in my bones. But what I’ve missed terribly is the kindness one girl showed me when were in grade school on a day when I came with no lunch or money. She didn’t just share her food with me, she ended up sharing—her room, her clothes, her make-up, her school work, her life. We shared everything and she’s still missing. Worry tightens inside of me.
Or so the police say.
Four months she’s gone, now presumed dead, but she isn’t. She can’t be. Adriana’s smart, fast. She’s a Marino. Even if someone had kidnapped her, she’d get away. My heart refuses to let me believe she’s dead.

Lindsey grabs some clothes out of my case and hangs them up alongside me. “So have you heard from Adriana yet or still nothing?”

Sighing, the hurt of not hearing from my best friend a reminder of just how much I’ve lost over the past few months. I shift over to my dresser, aligning accessories and make-up on the top. “That would be a no. I’ve tried calling, emailing, messaging her on Facebook. She’s completely MIA. It’s like she’s fallen off the face of the planet.”

My hands fall to my side. Regret punches me in the stomach. I never wanted any of this to affect us. It was naïve of me think she wouldn’t blame me for her father and brother going to prison—but missing? Who would want to kidnap the princess of the Marino crime family? It’s one sure way to end up in an early grave. My worry subsides the smallest amount knowing Mason is still looking for her. Which means Roamyn, Cass and Elias are too.

Lindsey frowns, her lips pursing. “That’s kind of weird, isn’t it?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Yeah. At first, I didn’t expect to hear from her anyway because I knew she was mad at me. But after a while, I started to worry. Honestly, Linds, she can’t be missing like the police say she is. This has Marino written all over it. It’s them we’re talking about. I’ve lost count of the number of times they’ve shipped her off for a week here and a weekend away there because things were, ‘too dangerous.’ It wouldn’t surprise me if they’ve done the same thing now.” 

“Yeah, maybe. I’m kind of glad she’s not around anyway. I always liked Adriana but now, God, if they get close to us or get hold of you—”

I cut Lindsey off and reassure her with same crap I keep trying to convince myself with. I don’t believe it. I’m scared to death every single day. But Lindsey and Oliver are my protection. Physically and mentally. Rehab also taught me a lot. Including not letting the past rule my life.

“They won’t. It’s been months. You heard the police. If they were going to try something, I’m sure they would have already. I’m not saying I don’t worry about it all the time because I do, but there has to come a point where we stop letting it rule our lives, right? Now, no more talk about things we can’t fix. We need to talk about you, because even though I know you’re happy to see me and have me home, you still look really sad.”

Lindsey tenses up her shoulders, acting dumb about her moping around after her relationship with Mason ended around the same time our crazy ex-stepfather, Jeremy yet another horrible man from our childhood, came back for revenge on Lindsey because we helped send him to prison a long time ago. He shot Lindsey and Charlotte, Mason’s daughter. I don’t really know what happened from there, all I know is Mason and Lindsey aren’t together now. “What? I’m fine.”

I roll my eyes at her and fold my arms across myself, popping a hip out at the same time. “You’re miserable, Lindsey. Maybe not so much on the outside, but you are on the inside. I can tell. Call it sister intuition. All you do is sit and read freakin’ books all night and watch sappy movies.”

She put my hand up in front of me pointing my forefinger to the roof. “Hey, hold up. One, those stories are for work. And two, you haven’t been here for months. How do you even know what I do at night?”

She screws her face up and I tilt my head. The answer could not be more obvious. I might have been in rehab but not in another world. I’d called Olly and made him promise to keep checking in on her after her and Mason broke up. “Take a guess?”

It takes all but a second for her to realize, and at the same time, we both say, “Oliver.”

She narrows her stare at me and I groan.

“Come on, sis, it’s Saturday night. We need to forget about the men in our lives and have some girly fun. What do you say?” I shuffle through the stuff on my bed for my phone. Feeling it, I grab it up. “I’ll call Cassidy.”

“Ali, your idea of fun and mine are drastically different.” Lindsey grimaces. Had this been five months ago I would have agreed with her.

“Oh, come on. Things are different now. I’ll call Cass. She can come join us and we’ll watch
Magic Mike
. We’re stocked up on chocolate and tea so we’re good to go.” I beam at her, eyebrows raised high, hands clasping my phone to my chest in a praying position as I give Linds big, round puppy eyes I know she can’t resist. She needs this. I need this. We both do. It beats the hell out of sitting here thinking about the men we love but don’t have.

She rakes her fingers through her hair. “All right.” She sighs. “I guess we’re past due for some sisterly bonding time anyway.”

“Yay, okay. I’ll go call Cass.”

After I call for girl comfort, I yell down to Lindsey, who’s somewhere in the loft. “She’ll be here soon, okay?”

“All right, I’ll be out soon I’m gonna take a shower and freshen up.”

I reply back with a muffled, “Yep.” My mouth already exploding with chocolate goodness.

My hips move and I hum to the radio as I make tea and open some snacks. The only kind of food Lindsey has because she’s just as bad a cook as I am. I pop my hip out to shut the fridge with it as a knock bangs on the heavy steel door of the loft. My brows squish together as I wander to the door.

I pull it open. “Damn, Cass you got here qui—”

Terror winds me, cutting off my voice. My legs weaken and I back away.

“No…” my voice dwindles to nothing. I gasp for air. A hand clamps down over my mouth, concealing the scream screeching from my throat. I claw at my cheeks. I kick. I pinch. I pull at my attacker until the unmistakable hardness of a gun, strokes my temple. I freeze dead still and meet the center of my own personal hell. A man with dark eyes as black as his soul.

The prince of darkness.

Lucio.

My breathing spouts in loud and heavy bursts through my nose while I wait for something, anything from Lucio. He can’t kill me. Surely there’s a part of him still in there. I continue to wait, the quiet giving me a moment to race a million questions through my mind, which does nothing to subside the terror already trembling through me.

What’s he doing here?

How is he here?

He’s supposed to be in prison.

Coldness prickles ice over my skin as Lucio spears me with frosty, dead eyes. There’s no remorse. No anguish. The boy I once knew is dead. Lucio moves around, searching for something and panic grips my heart when I realize he’s looking for Lindsey. Silent tears begin flowing down my cheeks.

I shake my head furiously, my pleading and begging to leave Lindsey alone, muffled under the hand still covering my mouth. Lucio beckons his men, all three of them, down the hall and I’m pushed forward by the one holding me despite fighting against him with as much strength as I have. They drag me into the room just as Lindsey walks out of her bathroom, towel drying her hair, oblivious to everything going on.

“Ali, did you—”

Her body stiffens and the towel drops to the floor the second she sees us. Her eyes bulge and for the first time since we walked into our mom’s bedroom and found her dead, Lindsey can’t mask the horror splitting on her face. Her anguish causes more tears to my eyes and my hair begins to stick to my hot face. My cheeks puff beneath the hand suffocating me as I lock eyes with Lindsey. The struggle to breathe, cutting off more energy by the second. But when she gives me round sad eyes, full of resignation, I stop breathing altogether. This is it. This is our goodbye. This is the end. My body begins to fall captive to the darkness. It draws out my soul. Sucks me dry.

The last thing I hear from my sister’s lips is, “I love you.”