Ditched (5 page)

They didn’t trust me to be alone with her
. They clearly thought there was a very good chance I would bolt.

“Come on!” Lanna said as the last of the pictures ended. She grabbed my hand and tugged me away from Collin. I glanced over my shoulder as we hurried down the aisle, towa
rd the door that would lead out of the sanctuary.

Felicia was leadin
g Mom toward the front of the church. She was pointing at one of the floral arrangements by the altar. Dani was standing in front of Gwen, fidgeting with her corsage. My guess was that the corsage was just fine. My friends were simply accomplices in the distraction Lanna had planned.

She ushered me to a quiet room, closing the door behind us. Her pale blue bridesmaid dress swirled around her as she spun to face me again.

“So, this is it,” she said. The concern on her face was so pronounced it was almost painful.

I blew out a breath.

“I know.” I was feeling ill. But wasn’t that normal? Weren’t jitters just something a bride had to deal with, even under the best of circumstances?

“Are you—”

“I’m sure,” I said, cutting her off. My mind was made up. It just made more sense to marry Collin than it did to
not
marry him. I was sure he’d been sincere. He’d made a terrible mistake. He regretted it. He would never let it happen again. I couldn’t just throw away our lifelong history. I just
couldn’t
. That didn’t mean I forgave him exactly because I was nowhere near that point yet. But I agreed with our parents, if we tried, we could work through it.

Couldn’t we?

“Can I just ask you one thing?” Lanna demanded.

“Do I have a choice?” I wondered.

“If this had happened two months before the wedding, not two days, not now when there hasn’t been time to think things through, would you still be standing here?”

“Holly?” my mother called from the other side of the door. She turned the knob but
of course it didn’t budge.

“Mrs.
Hannigan!” Felicia called. “Can you come look at—”

“Holly? Are you in
there?” my mother called again, clearly ignoring whatever it was Felicia had to say. “Open the door sweetheart! We should really retouch your make-up! Holly?!” Her tone had become shrill.

Lanna rolled her eyes.

“Holly, sweetheart? Let me in,” Gwen said, her voice was far too chipper. “Come on, open the door,” she coaxed.

“Maybe they’re not in there!” Dani said
as she joined the group outside of the door. Her voice was too loud to pass as natural.

“We should check on the pew bows,” Felicia suggested.

“Holly!” my mother and Gwen both cried again.

Despite the interruptions, I tossed the question around in my head.
If the weight of timing hadn’t been bearing down on me, would I be here? I didn’t know. I didn’t have time to ponder it either, because right then, the door swung open.

Gwen had gingerly settled onto her knees. Her shimmery lavender dress pooled around her. She still managed to look flawless. Her hair was still coiffed to perfection. She held a bobby pin in her hand, clearly having just picked the lock.

My mother rushed in,
Gwen bounced to her feet and followed.

“Oh you poor girl,” Lanna said as she pulled me into a hug. “You never stood a chance
against those two.”

Chapter 4

I couldn’t get Lanna’s question out of my head. She was right, I knew she was. If I’d had more time to think things through, I would’ve likely made a different decision. With the pressure from our parents compounded by the pressure of
not wanting to inconvenience hundreds of guests, I’d given in far too easily.

This was what I was thinking about as my dad walked me down the aisle. He handed me off to Collin. I tried to force a smile but I realized Collin didn’t look relieved.
His brow was glistening with sweat.

My eyes quickly darted away. With a blinding clarity, I finally came to my senses.

And it was all because of the boots.

Those damn boots.

I stood there staring at the white cowboy boots. They were worn buy a girl seated next to Gwen in the very first row. My gaze crept up her tan legs, over her short white dress—because someone tacky enough to wear cowboy boots to a wedding certainly wouldn’t think twice about wearing white. Apparently they also wouldn’t think twice about sleeping with the groom-to-be. I froze, completely. The eyes staring back at me quickly darted away as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

I heard
Lanna say my name. I was supposed to hand her my bouquet but the flowers tumbled from my hand.

I realized then the pastor had been speaking to me too.

“Holly?” Collin said my name in a warning tone.

I didn’t bother to look his way. I didn’t bother to look past the front row, into the pews where people were starting to
murmur and shift around uncomfortably.

“Holly,”
Lanna said again. I felt her hand wrap around my elbow. I glanced back, met her gaze and then pointed. “Check out the boots.” My voice sounded hollow. The words echoed through my head.

That was all I needed to say.

My heart took a long, painful tumble in my chest. It bounced along the jagged edges of my fractured soul, landing finally in the shattered remains of my dignity.

“
Tonya?” Lanna said in disbelief. She sidestepped me to get closer to Collin. She smacked him across the chest with her own bouquet. “You slept with Tonya?!” she cried.

He looked at us in horror. I had a feeling he wasn’t horrified that we’d figured it out. But that Lanna had blurted it out. Loudly. Loud enough for everyone gathered to hear.

I heard Felicia’s sharp intake of breath and Dani’s inappropriate string of cusswords. I glanced over my shoulder at them. Felicia looked ready to cry. Dani looked ready to tear Collin to pieces on my behalf.

“Wait…
What
?!” I didn’t have to look at Dexter to know that the booming words came from him. He was Collin’s brother. His best man. He’d come back to town for the wedding. He was standing right by his side. I’d known him as long as I’d known Collin. I’d recognize his voice anywhere. Even though I’d only met her twice, I’d recognize his long-time girlfriend anywhere…As long as I saw her face.

I hadn’t asked Collin who the girl was. I didn’t want to know. I thought it would be easier that way. But now that I knew and I knew
it was Tonya, something in me broke. The dam I’d built up around my emotions had taken a hit that it wasn’t going to recover from. Not only had Collin betrayed
me
but his own brother.

What kind of person would do that?

The only answer I had to that question was…The kind of person I did not want to marry.

The kind that I was
not
going to marry.

I didn’t
stick around to hear if Collin answered Dex’s question. I lifted my skirt, ready to retreat down the aisle. I paused long enough to undo the clasp of my bracelet. I tossed it roughly in the direction of Collin’s feet. Fortunately for me, my ring was in Dex’s pocket. It was one less thing to return.

I took off,
only vaguely aware that the murmuring had erupted into full blown chatter. Gasps of disbelief ensued. It was all drowned out by the buzzing in my ears. I kept my eyes on the back door. Max leapt from his spot in the pew as I was hurrying by.

He didn’t try to stop me.
In fact, he opened the door for me and led the way.

“It was
Tonya
?”

I choked on a sob, unable to keep it down.

“
His brother’s girlfriend
?” he asked.

I wasn’t sure why he felt the need to clarify.
It seemed apparent to me that it was.

I hurried across the narthex
out the door and down the sidewalk. I could feel Max’s presence right behind me. Earlier the skies had been a bright, shiny gray. Now they were dark and dumping down rain.

“Holly,” Max said as he trudged along after me, into
the downpour.

“I can’t—I can’t,” I stammered, trying one more time. “
I can’t
—”

After each start the word got stopped in my throat. I can’t…
talk
,
breath
e,
think
. That’s what I wanted to say. I held my hand against my chest. I couldn’t decide if I was getting too much air or not enough.

Max
’s arm slid around me pulling me to him.

“Y
ou don’t have to,” he said as he answered all of my unspoken words. I let him guide me across the parking lot. I should’ve known we were heading to his car.

“
Wait!” Lanna’s voice flew across the street.

Max swung us around.
Lanna was hobbling along as fast as she could in her heels as she crossed the rain-slicked pavement. Her light blue dress was spotted with large raindrops.

“It’s total chaos in there!”

“I figured,” Max said. “That’s why I’m trying to get her out of here.”

Lanna
grabbed both of my hands when she reached us. “Holly,” her worried gaze scoured over me. “I’ve been thinking about this, hoping it would happen. You not going through with the wedding, I mean. Not the rest of it.”

I bit my lip, trying to keep my sobs inside as I squinted at her through the rain.

“You know this isn’t just going to blow over.” I nodded and she pushed ahead. “So like I said, I’ve been thinking. You need to get out of here.”

“
Like I said, that’s what I’m trying to do,” Max pointed out. “I’m trying to get her out of here.”

She shook her head
and put both of her hands on my shoulders. Apparently she wanted my full attention when she looked me in the eye. “I mean like, out of town. Out of the
state
. You should go with Max.”

“What?” I asked.

“
What
?” Max repeated.

She shrugged. “Thi
nk about it. If you stay here, it’s just going to be a constant replay of the last few days. They’ll just push and push until you cave. This would be good for you. You’ve never been on your own, Holly.” I opened my mouth to protest but she shushed me. “Living in the dorms seven miles from your parents and going home every Sunday for dinner does not count. I hate to say it, but you must know you’ve lived a totally sheltered life. What you really need is to get away for awhile.
Far
away, where you’re not under their influence.”

She shared a look with Max and I knew they were thinking
that’s what happened yesterday. I wanted to argue but they were right. Deep down, I hadn’t wanted to go through with the wedding even then. But I’d been too afraid, too overwhelmed and too numb to do anything different.

“You know I’m right,” she said to Max.
“She needs to get out of here. This is the perfect solution.”

I glanced at them both. F
irst one, then the other. She raised her eyebrows and he cocked his head. Then he opened his mouth as if to protest and she gave her head a subtle shake. It seemed as though they were carrying on a conversation in a language all their own. One I wasn’t able to translate.

“
Excuse me,
right here
!” I said, pointing to myself.

“Of course you are,”
Lanna said as she brought her attention back to me.

“I can’t just…
leave
,” I argued.

Her hands fell from my shoulders to
her hips. She gave me her no-nonsense look. “Why the hell not?  What’s keeping you here? Nothing! It would be good for you! It would be good to get out of this town, away from this place, away from these…these people.” She grimaced and I knew by people she meant Collin and our families. None of whom she was pleased with at the moment.

I shook my head. “I…just…”

“
Can
. You just can,” she said decisively. “Go for a week. A week is not that long. Clear your head. Let everyone calm down. You know, that kind of thing.”