Ditched (14 page)

She was right.
Some people are better off as friends than roommates. Same old, same old with those two. In a way, it was comforting.

“What’s going on with you?” I asked.

“I,” she said brazenly, “am spectacular. Dustin came back to town.
Without
that witch he was dating.”

“And…?” I prompted with a smile.

“Use your imagination,” she suggested.

I let out a laugh. “I’d rather not.”

We discussed mindless things for a bit and just as we were getting ready to end the call, she said, “You sound better than just okay. You actually sound happy. I’m glad. I didn’t think you’d sound this happy so soon.”

“Do I?” I asked, surprised.

“Yes. Tell Max I said ‘hi’.”

I told her I would and we disconnected. I wasn’t sure what to make of her assumption, or accusation or whatever her ideas about
Collin had been. I didn’t want to dwell on them, either, because they would just ruin my day.

***

“What are you looking at?” I asked Max as I trudged out to the kitchen. It was a Saturday and while he normally wouldn’t have to work Saturdays, there was a wedding reception at Villette Vineyards later in the afternoon. His grandma thought it would be a good idea for him to help oversee the evening. She thought it would be a good learning experience.

I’d offered to help. I wasn’t sure what I could do. Maybe just straighten chairs or help with clean-up. Max had nixed the offer before I’d even been able to complete it.

He
still had a few minutes before he had to leave. He was sitting at the breakfast bar, checking out something on his laptop.

I’d had an idea for a new necklace. It was a bit on the complicated side, which was just what I needed.
It was something that would preoccupy my mind.

Jewelry making was my hobby. It was one of the few things I was actually pretty good at.
By some tiny flake of good luck, I’d thought to grab the tote that I stored everything in. My hobby had been keeping me busy while Max was at work. Although, to be honest, I probably spent more time gazing out at the view, lost in my thoughts, than I actually spent working on my jewelry. As it was, I’d overtaken the entire kitchen table.

Max never complained. We often ate in the living room balancing our
plates in our laps, at the breakfast bar or more often than not, outside on the deck. So it didn’t seem to matter that I’d taken over the kitchen table and turned it into my work area.

He glanced up at me as I
crossed the kitchen.

He tried to cover the screen but I shoved him playfully away
.

I turned to him
in confusion. “You’re researching seahorses?”

“I just…I don’t know…I thought about getting you a pair.” He
looked at the screen again. “Do you have any idea what goes into taking care of them? Seriously Holly, they’re so high maintenance they almost need their own nanny.”

“How would I ever get them home?” I asked.

He frowned and then shut his laptop. “It was just a thought. One I obviously didn’t spend a lot of time thinking through.”

Whether it was well thought out or not, I appreciated the time he’d take
n to look into it.

“What’s bothering you?”

“Nothing,
” I said as I lifted my eyes from the floor.

He grabbed my hand. I was rubbing my wrist again.
I really needed to stop doing that.

“That’s not true,” he said.

Max had been so good to me. If he wanted to know what was going on, I owed it to him to tell him. I told him that Collin had called. I also told him what Lanna said.

I had been offended at first but maybe she had been right. Maybe I’d just loved the idea of being in love. Or maybe it was because it had all come so easy. A nice, neat
future handed to us. Was it possible that Collin had, without realizing it, felt that way too?

We’d been teased since we were tiny. Told we’d marry each other one day. And while I knew enough to know that it was teasing, had a little grain of that stuck telling us it’s what we should do? Even if it wasn’t what either of us really wanted? Had either of us really had a chance to think that through for ourselves?

I just didn’t know.

I admitted all of this to Max. I had thought for sure he’d want no part of my girly admission. Bu
t he just sat back and listened while I, yet again, dumped my heart out all over him. He handled it like he always did. He listened patiently.

Then he teased me.

“Is she right?”

I hadn’t thought so, but after we ended the call, I’
d tossed myself on my bed, stared at my ceiling and waited impatiently for the world to make sense.

I shrugged. “I know there’s a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. I’m just, at the moment, having a h
ard time deciding what that difference is.” I was quite possibly having a hard time understanding it because for the last few years, maybe I’d been misinterpreting it.

He leaned forward resting on his elbows, apparently giving me a little more time to think things through.

“I mean, what did she mean by spark?!” I demanded. Of course I felt
good
when I was with Collin….Good, happy, safe, and comfortable. Like everything was right.

“Well,” Max said, and the teasing began…“
Did he make your palms all sweaty? Did he make you feel all fizzy inside? Did he make your heart thrash around? Did just being in the same room with him ever make it hurt to even breathe?”

I raised my eyebrows. “You mean aside from the night I walked in on him?”

“I mean did that stuff ever happen in a good way?”
He shook his head at me and looked aggravated. “And when you think about not ever being able to be with him, does it ache so bad you can barely see straight?”

“That’s love?” I asked with a laugh. I cut the laugh short when I saw the serious expression on
his face. Maybe he hadn’t been entirely teasing after all. His idea of love, it didn’t sound all that appealing. “I don’t know,” I finally muttered.

“If you have to think about it,” Max carefully said, “then maybe you already have your answer.”

“The way you describe it, it kind of sounds like it sucks.”

“Yeah,” he said. “It kind of can.
When it doesn’t work out, kind of feels like someone’s taken a cheese grater to your heart.” He got up and headed down the hallway.

I didn’t let him get too far. I scampered up behind him. “Hey Max?”

He turned to me and sighed. “Yeah?”

“Who were you in love with?” He couldn’t be in love with anyone right now. I was fairly sure of that. Because if his feelings for someone were that strong, I didn’t think he could hide it. I didn’t
want
to think that I was such a bad friend I could miss it.

He shook his head. “No one. Never mind. I was just rambling.”

“No you weren’t.” My mind was spinning trying to conjure up an answer. “Was it Tori? And you couldn’t be with her because she was so far away?” Had he had feelings for her all of these years? Since he was thirteen?

“Holly, just…don’t. Okay?”

“Because you’re here now. And she’s here now and even though she’s leaving, you have the summer.” I watched as annoyance flickered across his face. Max had
never
liked to talk about girls with me. But that was okay. He didn’t have to talk. He could just listen. “If you’re both here and you’re both available…what’s stopping you?”

“Nothing,” he insisted. “I’ll call her. I’ve just been busy. You know that.”

I nodded. He had been busy. With work, and also with
me.

        I followed him into his room where he peeled his t
-shirt off and pulled on a navy blue polo with the winery’s logo on the left side of his chest. He was already wearing khaki pants, his usual work attire. He glanced at the clock. “I should get going.”

“Are you sure I can’t do anything to help?” I asked again. I wanted to help. But I was also bored a
nd feeling like a bit of a bum. Tagging along would help me on multiple levels.

He shook his head. “Tonight is fully staffed. But thanks.”

After he left, I sat at the table and worked on my necklace for awhile. I couldn’t concentrate and quickly lost interest. I decided to go for a walk. It was one of my favorite ways to pass the time
.
After a lazy loop that haphazardly covered several blocks, I found myself in front of the café. As always, that meant some sort of ice-cream was in order. I walked in, cringed at the annoying little bell that jingled over my head, and made my way to the front. The place was busy with the dinner rush but I was the only one in front of the ice-cream display.

I scanned over the flavors, even though I had them almost memorized.

“Hi,” Tori said as she scooted up to the counter in front of me. “Holly, right?”

I nodded. “Hi, Tori. How are you?”

“Good,” she said. “I didn’t realize you were still in town. I haven’t seen you guys around.”

“Still here,”
I affirmed. “We’ve been in a few times. Max started working so it’s been in the evenings.”

“Oh,” she said. “That would explain it. I work the day shift, except on weekends
. Then I just come in whenever they need me. So, um, what’s Max been up to? Just working?”

“Yeah, it’s keeping him pretty busy. And of course I’
m here so I’m probably taking up more of his time than I should.” I scrunched up my face, feeling apologetic.

She smiled but it looked a little forced. “I figured he was busy. I mean, since I haven’t heard from him.”

I bit my lip and nodded. I knew I was monopolizing Max’s time. It just hadn’t registered exactly how much.

She drummed her fingers on the countertop and cocked her head to the side. “Just exactly how long did you say you were staying?”

“I didn’t say because I don’t really know,” I admitted.

She raised her e
yebrows at me and the smile slipped from her face. I felt a bit bad for her. If I was gone, Max probably would’ve called her by now. I needed to find a way to fix this somehow.

“You don’t know?” she repeated.

“I like it here more than I thought I would. And there are some things going on back home that…” I shrugged and let the sentence trail off. She didn’t need a detailed explanation because what I had going on wasn’t important.

“So you’ll pro
bably be keeping Max busy for awhile?” There was no trace of her faux-smile now, she was treating me to a frown and she didn’t seem to care.

An idea struck and I smil
ed. “Not if I can help it. I’d like a double scoop of the Totally Tropic ice-cream,” I said. “And I have a feeling you’ll be seeing Max real soon.”

Chapter 11

As it turned out, it took me a week
. Max had assured me he would call Tori once I was gone. I’d told him he didn’t have to wait. The truth was, I wasn’t ready to go home. But I didn’t want to overstay my welcome, either. I thought the best way to make sure that didn’t happen was to be sure that I
stopped
monopolizing Max’s time.

We had a trip to the Redwoods planned. I happened to have noticed that the
Sapphire Bay Café boasted picnic lunches to go. When I called to place the order, Tori answered the phone. I conversationally mentioned that I’d be bringing Max in with me. I practically
heard
her turn into a mushy puddle on the other end of the line. As disconcerting as that was, I pushed ahead with my plan.

Half an hour later, Max and I walked in. I politely excused myself to take an unneeded trip to the restroom. After pacing a minute or two,
and washing my hands just because I felt like I should, I reemerged.

Apparently brunch wasn’t a busy time. There weren’t too many patrons. The one table that seemed to need assistance was being tended to by an older lady. Tori was leaning forward, her elbows on the counter.
She was in full flirt mode. Max was standing back a few feet, his arms firmly planted across his chest.

“I don’t know if the music will be good or not,” she said. “But the festival is supposed to be a lot of fun.”
She shrugged. “It’s just, you know, something to do.”

Max glanced at me
as I edged closer to them. I grinned at Tori. She blinked at me and hesitantly smiled back.