Distrust (Smirnov Bratva Book 1) (17 page)

I jump straight into the car. Elina gives me directions to her doctor and phones through that we are coming. When he pulls up, a man with a wheelchair comes out, and we pull Maso out of the car. She goes to follow him, but I grab her arm pulling her back. A single tear leaves her face, I wipe it away and lean in placing my lips on hers, savoring every taste, everything that is her. Because I know she won’t escape me now. I won’t allow her to. No matter how hard she tries, she’s stuck with me. She’s never to escape again. Especially to those monsters she calls family.

I’m the biggest, meanest, monster out of the lot of them, but I also protect what’s mine.

Chapter 28

Elina

His lips slam into mine, his body pulls me close. We stay connected mirroring each other, body to body, lips to lips, tongue to tongue. He grabs me tight, his hands squeezing through my jeans, which he seems to like me wearing. Who would have guessed that? Not me, that’s for sure. I don’t push him away, I don’t even stop the kiss. I kiss him back because no matter what, he would choose me every time and that says a lot because I’ve never been chosen first, not by anyone.

Yet, here is a man who’s bound to be my soul’s enemy, protecting me from those that should have. Here before me is a man that should have killed me the minute he found out who I was just because of my name. Yet, he couldn’t, even if he knew he should have. He didn’t care about anyone else in that restaurant. When he saw that knife to my throat, then those hands on me, I noticed the look that crossed over his face, it was pure darkness. He didn’t observe anything else, all he saw was me, even in a deathly situation. And he was going to do anything to rectify that situation as soon as possible.

He even got Maso out of that restaurant. A man I know he detests, a man I know he would like to kill. All because I asked him to because he knows that neither one of us would be standing here if it wasn’t for my brother. He went against his family—his father—just for me. And I’m betting he would do it all again to have this outcome. Though is it right? Is it something that we both can live with? Always wondering who’s in line to kill us because of who we are, what our families are. I don’t think he cares. He’s the most powerful man in our city. Yet, he’s also human, and it wouldn’t be hard to kill him. The human body is beautiful, yet oh so fragile in its makeup. A single bullet, a small slit with a knife, and a person’s very existence can be eliminated in a blink of an eye.

I pull away first because I need to visit the family doctor that is with Maso now. His grip tightens, his lips lift, and he just breathes me in before he lets me pull away. Taking hold of my hand, he squeezes it then releases. I walk away, and as I reach the door of the doctor’s residence I turn around and he’s standing there, in the same position, just watching me.

Maso is on the table when I enter, the doctor stitching him up. Maso’s drinking copious amounts of alcohol to ease the pain. He smirks when he notices me standing there.

“You’re in so much shit.” He laughs. He’s drunk. Always been a shit drinker. Never could hold his liquor.

“So are you,” I snap back at him. He laughs again knowing how very accurate that statement is.

“You had to fall in love with a Smirnov, didn’t you? You couldn’t have loved, perhaps… another dangerous man?”

The doctor places a bandage over his stitches, and he sits up almost falling off the table as he does.

“You didn’t have to defend me.”

His head shakes. “Like I could watch as he hurt you. I may be a monster, but to you I could never be.” I know he’d never hurt me. Plus, he knows I would give it right back. He’s shown me his loyalty and love, time and time again, and for this I’m truly grateful. “You will have to see him soon, though.”

“I know, but not tonight.” I walk over, lean up and kiss his cheek. He doesn’t say anything else as I walk out the door. I immediately notice Kazier standing in the same position as I left him, waiting for me. When I walk up to him, I leave just enough distance between us so we’re not connected in any way—we don’t think correctly when we are.

“Where to now?” he asks, his fingers tapping on his leg.

“Yours?” I ask, and he smiles. I’m sure I can see his soul through that smile. All my walls disintegrate, and it’s like love is winking at me. I adore him for that smile alone. It’s not often that it happens, but when it does, it brings joy to my heart. He takes the remaining steps and closes in on me, then grabs my hand, his fingers wrapping around mine. He leans in and kisses me softly before he pulls away and opens the car door for me.

“You would have let them kill everyone, wouldn’t you? Just to get to me,” I ask as soon as he starts driving. I know the answer, I don’t know why I’m asking, I think I want the confirmation. That he would have killed everyone in that restaurant, starting with the man that held a knife to my throat.

He doesn’t hesitate when he answers me. “All of them.” His hand grips the wheel harder as he pulls out onto the street.

We drive for a while and then he stops the car pulling into his driveway. Basically, he runs around to my side of the car, opens the door and drags me out then picks me up and carries up the stairs. The urgency in his movements makes me laugh, I can’t help it. I’ve never seen him so excited, so happy, considering everything we’ve just been through.

He takes me straight to his bedroom, lays me back on the bed and stands there watching me. He begins to undo the buttons on his shirt, revealing his abs. I see the glint of red where he has my name inked on him, and I know within the second, I would choose him every time, the same way he would choose me.

I stand to copy his actions, removing my shirt, pulling it up and over my head, then undoing my pants buttons and letting them drop to the floor. Soon we’re both standing there completely naked, me with scars and all. His hand lifts slowly to the one on my belly, his fingers brush over it, then he leans down and kisses it. But he doesn’t stop there he continues his path, a small whisper leaving his mouth each time he passes a scar. “Sorry,” then he continues, and I stand as still as a statue, unsure of what to do. We’re both usually so in the moment, tearing clothes, breaking buttons, then fucking hard. Not this time, this time he’s touching me, really touching me with those calloused hands, sliding them all over my body.

“I don’t know what I should be doing,” I say as he comes up, now standing in front of me.

He grabs my hand and places it on his heart. “Nothing, you don’t need to do anything, just be in here.” I nod my head because I am in there.

I don’t want to take charge, that’s not how this story goes. I don’t want to disconnect by going fast just so I can forget all the things that are running through my head. I want to stay in the here and now.

My hands start to slide up and down his body, his lips kissing my neck, pulling our naked bodies as close as humanly possible. When I know I can’t contain myself anymore, I push him to the bed and climb on top of him. His smug grin looks up at me because he knows exactly who I am, even if I’m not entirely sure myself. All my life I’ve been molded to be this woman, a woman who does exactly as she’s told, a woman who has no self-worth. This man has shown me differently. He’s slowly pulling down those walls I’ve built, and revealed a completely different me.

Our hands and bodies don’t sync, we’re too rushed, the need too high. It isn’t what making love is all about, it’s all about feeling each other’s needs as much as possible. He fucks me hard, I push him just as hard, and before I know it we’re on the floor, and he’s gripping the end of the bedding as I sit on him and ride him like I’ve never done before. My knees hurt with each rock, my body trembles with each push. I scream and collapse straight onto him, except he isn’t finished. He starts to lift me up and down, rocking himself into me to finish himself off, and then he grips my ass hard, leaving a mark on me for sure.

We lay still, unable to move.

“You can’t leave me now. It’s too late for that,” he says after a few deep breathes. I don’t argue with him because I could never leave even if I wanted to, my heart wouldn’t allow it. He starts to trace my body with his fingers, slowly over my ass, then up my back. I almost fall asleep before he picks me up and places us both on the bed.

“I do,” I say, answering his question regarding the text message he sent me earlier, about if I loved him.

“I already knew it.” I feel his breathing beneath me, he doesn’t want to move, so I stay glued to him. “You’ll be here when I wake,” he states, not giving me a choice.

I laugh. “But it’s so much fun the other way,” I tease him.

“No, it’s not.”

I grip onto him tightly before my eyes start to close. Maybe it will be nicer to wake up with him by my side, instead of leaving before he wakes? He’s a deep sleeper, even though I would kiss his cheek every time I left, he never knew. I wished several times he would catch me, and make me stay. But I knew it would be better if I left. For the both of us. Not tonight, though, tonight I have no intention to leave at all. Tonight I stay all night.

Chapter 29

Kazier

I’ve woken up with her asleep next to me for the last two nights. We haven’t been able to leave the house, at all. Glued to each other’s side. I’ve learned her favorite movies, and I know every tickle spot on her body.

She calls her brother daily, and her father phones every day as well, but she never answers. Every time she sees his name, her mood instantly changes to sad. I kiss her until she forgets, and all she can think of is me.

I look down at her now. She’s lying on the floor in nothing but a button up shirt of mine, her back on the wooden floorboards, her legs up on the couch as she tells me a story about her friend Pollie, who I’ve learned is her only friend. She has no one else, just her. She smiles every time she says her name speaking about how beautifully she plays, and how loving she is. She says she’s never met another soul as beautiful as hers.

“I have.” I reach out and stop her rubbing her feet on the couch, she kicks away and sits up to look at me.

“Who?”

“My mother,” I tell her honestly. My mother’s caring and calming nature were unlike anyone I’d ever met.

She jumps up fast, her legs wrap around my waist and she kisses me, removing my pain, the same way I remove hers. Just as I slip my hands up her shirt, the doorbell rings and she pulls back. I ignore whoever’s at the door because I couldn’t care less.

“Kazier,” she says pulling away.

I hold onto her tightly effectively stopping her from moving and pick her up to carry her with me. I cannot bear to be without her. When I reach the door, she’s trying to pull back when I bite her chin, but she just giggles at me like it’s nothing. Pulling the door open, her back is to four people who are staring at her backside.

“
Damn,
” Anton says looking straight at her ass. She pulls her hands away from me, knowing I’ll hold her up as she tries to pull down the shirt.

“What are you clowns doing here?”

Anton hip and shoulders me out of the way as he makes his way into the house. I step back and they all follow him inside. Freya stares hard at Elina as she walks past. Elina’s head is tucked into my shoulder, her hands at the back of her top holding it down. I walk straight past them and into my room, she jumps down and starts to pull on her jeans. I grin while watching her, excited to take them off again once I kick them out.

“We can’t be hermits forever,” she says smiling. “Plus, I haven’t met your friends properly.” She grabs my hand as she pulls me to start walking. They stop talking as we step out, all eyes trained on us. Elina lets go of my hand and walks to Death offering her hand. I notice everyone trying to contain their laughter because we all know that he isn’t going to shake her hand. Instead, he actually looks at it like it’s poison and he needs to immediately rid it from his system. She stands there for a few seconds with her hand held awkwardly in mid-air. Anton pushes Death away and takes her hand, kissing the top.

“Anton… you probably know all about me,” he says stepping back.

I can tell she doesn’t know what to say, so she laughs instead. Anton introduces her to Viktor and Death, then lastly Freya, who still looks at her like she’s some kind of stain.

“You’re the one who clocked me when I was tied up,” Elina says to her.

Freya crosses her arms over her chest and snickers. “It felt good,” is all the spitfire says back.

“I wouldn’t attempt it again. One is all you get.” Freya nods her head and Elina steps back into my arms.

“Why are you all here?”

“We’re going all out tonight. So you
will
actually have to leave the house. Can you believe it? We have someone to find. Plus, I want to see Freya drunk,” Anton says putting his arm around her. She nudges him hard, making him remove his hand and turns her lips up in a semi-smirk come grimace.

“No,” I answer shaking my head.

Elina turns in my arms and nods her head. I don’t want to come out from our bubble just yet, I like it here, but I concede. “Fine.”

****

The last time I walked into this place, I took Elina and kidnapped her. Now I walk in with her on my arm. She’s dressed the same as one of the first nights I saw her—a dress that wraps around her body which I could expose with just one pull. My hand is around her waist, my fingers playing with the bow that holds it together.