Disclosure of the Heart (The Heart Series) (15 page)

“Well now, you wouldn’t actually be talking to the president about this, would you?” Taking the seat beside me, he said, “You’d talk with Matthew. He’s your boss, right? What would he say?”

“Oh yes, I would talk to Logan. I’d tell Matthew, too, but I’d go directly to Logan first. I owe him that. He’s like my dad—not to mention friends with him. Logan would ask a lot of questions, and I’m not sure how it would go from there. I’d be a little political liability that needed to be fixed. They’d probably tell me to quit, or they’d reassign me to some crap job.”

I shook my head. “But then, say, six months later, things end between you and me…for whatever reason. I can’t go back to my old job—not to mention it would be a while before I get another decent one as a press secretary. I’d have a reputation for sleeping with the press. That would be horrible.”

“Sleeping with the press—like me?” He gave me a sexy grin. “That would definitely be
horrible
.”

“Horrible.” I giggled. “It would be
absolutely
horrible.” Then I reached over and swatted him on the head. “You know what I meant.”

“I know what you meant.” His smiled slowly vanished as he asked, “But what if we lasted more than six months? What if we lasted…years?”

I thought of how much pain I’d gone through with Adam when we were young. I had relived it so often over the years, the wounds had hardly had chance to heal. And here I was, potentially setting myself up for more.

Matching his more serious tone, I could say nothing other than what I’d always held true. “It would be worth losing everything…it would be more than worth it.”

“It would be.” His stare made me wobbly inside, and I was relieved when he looked down at his hands for a moment. He soon met my eyes again, though. “You know, Nicki, I don’t have to stay in my job. I don’t really even have to bloody work.”

“I would never ask you to do that. Besides, your quitting really doesn’t fix the appearances issue. I don’t want to be a distraction in any way for Logan.”

He rubbed his forehead, like I’d taken away his only good idea. “So what do you want to do?” he asked.

“Be your friend. See how that goes.” Not that I really liked that idea.

“I can play that game, but…”

“But what?”

“Well, you said yourself we were never just friends.”

“Yeah, but you were the one who said that we should try. Shouldn’t we see if there’s something lasting between us first—before we make a mess of things?”

“I get the logic, but I now see that it’s harder than I thought.”

“What do you mean?”

He laughed and shook his head. “For one thing, I feel like a seventeen-year-old boy again around you.”

“Well, I certainly don’t feel my age around you. I’m not an anxious person normally. I’m fairly self-confident. I don’t wander around in a state of confusion, but now that you’re here, it’s like I’m a day-dreaming teenager with a hopeless crush on the most popular boy.” I scowled at him. “And it’s really fucking annoying—especially at work.”

“It’s harder for me.”

“How so?”

“Seeing you…every day…looking so lovely. I just want to touch you all the time.”

So he wanted to have sex with me? Well, I couldn’t deny I wanted that with him, but it wasn’t very romantic.

As if he read my mind, he slowly moved his hand over my cheekbone and rubbed his thumb over my brow. It was so kind I rested my cheek in his hand. His eyes were fixed on mine as he declared, “I loved you, Nicki. And to my eyes, you’re still the fairest of them all.”

My eyes widened. What was there to say to that? “Adam…” I whispered.

“But now you’re also this fascinating woman. I want to touch you, but I want more. I want to hear your stories. I want to listen to your opinions on things. I want to get to know you again.”

“I loved you, too,” I said, placing my hand on his for a moment. Simply acknowledging our past felt like such a relief. I smiled. “I also want to get to know you again.”

“Actually, that’s not my preference.”

“Really?”

He slid his hand from my cheek, down my neck, and onto my shoulder. His expression became sly. “My preference would be to take you to my bed, shut the fucking door, and let no one see us for days. The rest of the world be damned.”

“That sounds…fun,” I said with a giggle, but I soon shook my head. “But the world is still out there, Adam. We can’t do that.”

Then Lisa called from inside, “Nicki? Adam? We’re gonna watch a movie. Do you want to come inside?”

There was still so much more to say, but I needed a break. “I think we should go in. Is that okay?”

“That’s fine. Though I hope she didn’t let David choose the film. He has terrible taste.”

“I’m so surprised to hear that.” I grinned and called inside, “Yeah, Lisa. We’re coming in.”

When we walked into the living room, David was already changing channels. “I found something.
The Pineapple Express
. I like the sound of it.”

“It sounds awful,” Lisa said as she dimmed the lights.

“We don’t have to pay attention, love,” said David.

“Ha,” she said.

Lisa and David sat on one sofa, with enough room between them that I could’ve joined them. Instead, I followed Adam to the other sofa. I kicked off my shoes and curled up safely into a corner, while Adam sat closer to the middle.

After only a few minutes, I heard Lisa mutter, “This is unwatchable. It’s so bad.”

Without saying anything else, she headed for the balcony, and David was right behind her. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him touch her arm and nod toward the hallway leading to the bedrooms. Lisa answered sternly, “No way.” She then said something I couldn’t hear, and the two went out on the balcony.

I looked over and saw Adam watching them, too. I smiled, realizing we were alone on a sofa in a dark room. I wasn’t ready for that in so many ways. But all my life I’d fallen asleep during movies, and at that moment, a nap seemed like the safest thing I could do. I closed my eyes and avoided everything—until I woke up an hour later.

As I got my bearings, I realized I was cozied right next to Adam. Damn subconscious.

He smiled at me. “Did you have a nice nap?”

“I can’t believe I did that. I’m sorry.” I sat up to move myself back to the corner.

“Don’t worry about it. You were tired.”

“No, really. I shouldn’t have.”

He pointed to the wet spot on the throw pillow.

“Oh God. I drooled.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m so embarrassed. I—”

“Nicki, it’s okay.” He chuckled. “It’s just me.”

I cocked my head for a moment. It
was
him. It was Adam. After all these years and all those tears, Adam was beside me. Acting on instinct and certainly not reason, I leaned closer to him without thought of any consequences. I just knew what I wanted, and I wanted it now.

It started as a quick kiss, but I didn’t want to let go. It had been too long. With my lips never leaving his, I straddled him and, sitting on his lap, cupped his cheeks with my hands. His mouth opened at once. Our tongues found each other, and what had started as a sweet kiss of remembrance turned into a ravishing. His hands were in my hair, his tongue teasing mine. Having spent a good part of my junior year of high school making out with Adam, kissing was something we did very well together. Only now, there was no youthful hesitancy or awkwardness. It was all fire and want—though controlled. Knowing that Lisa was somewhere nearby, I knew things couldn’t get out of hand.

Yet they did when Adam grabbed my ass, pulling me toward him. As he gave me tender kisses all along my neck, he positioned me astride his bulging erection, and I gladly pressed against him. Even with the damn clothes between us, I loved feeling him, but when he started to thrust, I froze in shock. What was I doing? Of course, my body wanted to have sex right then and there, but that wasn’t the right thing to do for anyone.

I placed my forehead on his and found my breath. “I…I’m sorry, Adam. I shouldn’t have let this happen. It’s not right.”

“Not right? Are you sure?”

“No…I’m not sure about anything.” I pulled away and looked at him dead on. His brown eyes drooped a little. I couldn’t have that. Even though he’d put me smack-dab in the middle of a personal and professional quagmire, I was too happy for him to ever be sad. He had to know. “Wait. That’s not true. I’m sure about one thing.”

“And what’s that?” He was such a sourpuss.

“That I want to spend more time with you.” I ran my hand through his thick hair. “
That
I know for sure.”

“Well, get some control, woman,” he grumbled with a smile. “Get off me before you kiss me again.”

I giggled and tousled his hair again. He’d switched channels to a replay of a UK soccer game—Chelsea versus Tottenham. Off-handedly, I mentioned a guy I had dated in college who was a Chelsea fan.

“I hate him,” Adam said with a sneer.

“Why?”

“Because he dated you when I couldn’t and he’s a fan of the most God-awful annoying team in the Premier League.”

“Juan Carlos likes soccer, too. I can’t remember who he likes in the UK. I get the names confused. Maybe Arsenal?”

“Even worse! Why did you tell me that? Now I really hate the short-arse!”

“Short?” Is that really what Adam thought of him? Someone had once made a short joke about Juan Carlos to me, and it was all I could do not to tell him that Juan Carlos was anything but short where it really counted. That wasn’t the right thing to say to Adam, though. “Come on. Not every guy towers over the world like you.”

“Why are we talking about him?”

“I don’t know.”

“Let’s change the subject.”

“Yes, let’s.” I poked his arm. “You know, I still have that Liverpool scarf you gave me.”

“You do? I’d forgotten about that.”

The way he’d said it made me think he was lying. There was no way he’d forgotten giving me that. The man was obsessed with Liverpool.

David and Lisa then walked back in the room, and David soon spotted the TV. “Football? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I should’ve,” said Adam. “Nicki’s a Liverpool fan.”

I jabbed him in the ribs while David praised me. Lisa kept rubbing her neck like she needed a break, so I suggested we call it a night. Everyone agreed. When David walked her over to the foyer, I could tell he wanted to talk to her again.

Adam winked at me, and I pointed to the hallway where our friends were and whispered, “I want to listen.”

He nodded, and we could hear Lisa say, “We have absolutely nothing in common.”

“After that kiss, I’m pretty sure we’ll have the most important thing in common,” said David.

I looked up at Adam and dropped my mouth open in surprise. He gave a nod like he was impressed with his cousin.

“Whatever,” Lisa said. “You can’t base a relationship on that.”

“Are you kidding, princess?” said David. “It’s the key to any successful relationship.”

“Well, he’s right,” Adam said into my ear.

“I suppose so.” I giggled, turning my attention away from them.

Adam touched my hair and said, “I should leave before you attack me again.”

“I think I can control myself.” What a silly girl I was. Our eyes met for a second, and my hormones kicked in. I leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Now get outta here.”

Chapter Nine

T
HE
F
OLLOWING
N
IGHT
, I still had the phone to my ear when my line went dead. Juan Carlos had all but hung up on me. Tossing the phone to my side, I rose from the sofa and then headed to Lisa’s room. She sat in the middle of her bed with an array of scientific journals around her.

“How was it?” she asked, removing her glasses.

“Awful,” I said as I moved a journal aside so I could sit. The title was the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s
Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report
. It was fitting for my mood.

“What did he say?”

“That I was too career driven.”

“Huh?” She wrinkled her brow. “I thought you told him about Adam.”

“Sort of.”

“Oh God. Why didn’t you tell him everything?”

“I’m not ready to. It doesn’t feel right. I still love him, and I have no idea what’s going to happen with Adam.” I opened up the mortality report as if it had my life’s answers. “He brought up Adam, though.”

“Start at the beginning, please.” She took a sip of the tea on her nightstand and leaned on her pillow. “This doesn’t make sense.”

“It will.” I sighed. “When I told him I didn’t think it was right to move in together because we spent so little time in the same city, he got a little annoyed like I was blaming him because he travels so much. I told him I loved him, that I’ve been traveling just as much, and he knows even when we’re in town, I still have a shitty schedule.”