Disclosure of the Heart (The Heart Series) (11 page)

Instead, I contemplated what it might be like to kiss him again. Would it be the same? I could see my old friend Rachel laughing and saying, “Like Adam Kincaid forgot how to kiss? If anything, it’s going to be even better.” That got my mind in even more trouble.

After a day like we’d had together, I had the urge to say goodbye like when he used to drop me off. I wanted to climb into his lap, kiss him long and hard, and rub myself against his dick for so long we’d both be panting with want. At that moment, it seemed like such a good bad idea, and when he gave me that sly look, I was pretty sure he’d welcome whatever I did.

Then I remembered Juan Carlos, and a punch of guilt caused my prepared words to finally rush out of me. “Thanks so much for letting me crash your day with Sylvia, and thank you for dinner and the ride home.”

“Well, you have to thank Sylvia for dinner, but the rest has been fun. I’m happy we got to spend some time together.”

“I am, too,” I said in a confessional whisper.

Our eyes locked, a little too long and a little too intensely, causing my thoughts to stray again. I had to stop wondering what it would be like to kiss him. There was no way I could be friends with the guy when my every instinct was to throw myself at him.

A smile slowly formed on Adam’s face, and he said, “Now go on up. We’ve got a big week ahead, you especially.”

I nodded. “The president’s first international trip.”

“Indeed.”

After I made it inside the apartment, I peeked in the living room. Lisa had clearly spent the day sacked out on the couch. Huddled under a quilt, she had everything she needed within hand’s reach—her phone, the remote, Diet Coke, takeout, and a glass of wine.

“Where have you been all day, stranger?”

“Out.” I coyly studied the fringe on a throw pillow before I smiled. “With Sylvia and Adam. We had dinner at Adam’s place together. Sylvia cooked.”

“Ah ha.” Her expression was full of judgment, but she said nothing else.

“I’m not hiding anything. Juan Carlos knows.” Thank God I’d told him. Otherwise I would’ve backed down from her stare.

“Yeah…” After a second, she must’ve decided to keep her analysis of my private life to herself. She smirked. “I also sort of spent the day with the Kincaid family.”

“What do you mean?”

“The cousin called me…more than once.”

“I don’t believe he’s technically a Kincaid,” I said with a giggle. “His mother is Adam’s aunt.”

“That’s what he keeps telling me. He says his side of the family is much more down to earth than the Kincaids.”

“How did he get your number?”

“Adam found it for him. The bastard.” She smiled.

“Wow. He’s persistent.”

“Very.”

“Would you go out with him?”

“I don’t know…” she said. Her eyes narrowed at me. “Would you go out with Adam?”

The fringe on the pillow became fascinating to me as I mulled it over. If Juan Carlos weren’t in the picture and I was honest with myself, the answer would be yes. At a minimum, I wanted to tear his clothes off and have my way with him one more time. I tried to find a genuine middle ground. “I was out with him today, but it wasn’t a date. I think there’s a difference.” With more confidence, I added, “I have a professional stake in this, too.”

Lisa pursed her lips in what had to be another round of judgment, but eventually she allowed a smile to creep through. “Well, I’d go out with David if it wasn’t a date, so we’re even.”

Chapter Six

A
IR
F
ORCE
O
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A G
IDDY
P
LACE
the evening the plane took off for Berlin. Everyone, from the reporters to the staff to the president himself, was excited about the first international trip. Not that the groups really interacted much. The president had spacious private quarters, where he could do everything from work out to sleep to watch TV on a big flat screen, and then a large office upstairs. In the far back of the plane, the White House Press Corps traveled like they were in coach on any American airline. The president’s staff was quartered in somewhat better accommodations toward the plane’s front, and with a full office for us to work in.

My job had me making the rounds everywhere. As Matt walked alongside me, he yawned before giving me the job he didn’t want to do. “Just tell them we’ll give them extra time with the president later in the trip.”

“Okay, but they’re going to complain…”

“They’re the press. All they do is bitch and moan.” He waved his hand. “The quicker you tell them, the quicker you can catch some sleep.”

As I walked down the stairs to the media, I heard a ruckus over the airplane engines. Rowdy reporters. It was a good thing they weren’t near Logan. He was a light sleeper and mean as a bear when you woke him up.

When I walked through the curtains, I saw what caused so much noise. Reporters were grouped in clusters, gossiping and chatting. Some played cards while another group drank beer and wine and occasionally erupted in fits of laughter and squeals. I spotted Adam on the outskirts, where a few stragglers read or tried to catch some sleep. His
The Economist
magazine was in his hand, but his Bose headphones hung around his neck like he’d just taken them off. The crowd must’ve been bothering him. I gave him a small wave, just as I had every day since our Sunday together. The wave was easier than talking, but still friendly enough.

When I approached the loudest group, I first saw Lydia Mixon in the center of it. She was the perky correspondent from CBS News, and she had to have been a cheerleader in high school, the kind Adam had once dated. If we were in high school, Lydia wouldn’t have given me, the geeky outsider, the time of day. Now roles were reversed, and I was the one in power.

She caught my eye and grinned. “Hi, Nicole. It’s good to see you. Are we being too loud?”

“No. No one has complained.” I smiled at the group. “But you do seem to be having a good time? What’s going on?”

“Just a little impromptu party.” Lydia gestured to Dan Roark, who stood hunched over the back of a seat, holding a glass of beer. “Dan has us playing games that are making us laugh.”

“Drinking games?” I asked Dan.

“Nah. More like truth or dare, but without the dare.”

“Oh dear,” I said in a playful tone.

Lydia sidled up to me and said, “Well, it’s a little silly, but we’re having fun.”

“Dare I ask what ‘truth’ everyone is revealing?”

“We’ve been sharing where we lost our virginity and to whom,” she said. “It’s harmless.”

I froze my smile.
Holy shit.

Leaning closer to me, Dan asked, “Wanna play, Nicole?”

“Nah, I don’t think so.” I played it cool, hoping I could end it all sooner that way.

“I’ll tell you mine,” he said. “My high school girlfriend, Charlotte Clark, in my Mustang. How’s that? Now your turn.”

“Uh-uh.” I shook my head.

“C’mon.” Dan took a step toward me and pointed to Adam. “Even Kincaid played. Right, Kincaid?”

I turned to see Adam’s response. I could’ve played the game for him. I knew whom he’d lost his virginity to and where. It wasn’t me but his old girlfriend—the girl he’d cheated on me with. Adam’s eyes met mine for a brief second, but they were blank. He silently waved his hand as if brushing it all aside.

Dan rolled his eyes. “So now he won’t play. Whatever, Kincaid.” He then turned to me. “Kincaid’s girl was named Kate. They did it in his childhood bed. Now you tell us, Nicole.”

I knew Adam and Dan didn’t like each other. If Dan’s reporter sixth sense had picked up on something in Adam’s past to exploit, I was sure the comment had been a dig at Adam, not me. But now I was the collateral damage, and it was worse than a blow to the gut. It was a rapid-fire machine gun, leaving multiple and increasingly severe wounds.

“Kincaid’s girl”—a girl other than me. “Kate”—the name I’d hated for years. “They did it”—yes, they had, many times. And finally, the worst part—“in his childhood bed”—their history and family connection was part of what had driven Adam to her after I’d rejected him.

As nauseated as I was at hearing about Kate and Adam having sex and then my name being thrown in, I was sure Adam was even less comfortable at that moment. In the end, he’d been hurt just as much as me, both today and back then. I even felt a little sorry for him.

I heard Lydia say, “Please, Nicole. It’s not like we know the guy. It’s just for fun.”

I bet Adam was truly mortified by that one, and it actually made me crack a smile. I decided to give them a tidbit. “At the beach,” I said curtly.

“How sweet,” said Lydia. Other female reporters chimed in with “sexy” and “romantic.”

But the tidbit wasn’t enough for Dan. It only egged him on. “So how was it? Were you in high school? Was it any good?”

“No more information.”

“Come on, Johnson,” he said. “‘At the beach’ tells us almost nothing. We’re reporters. You know you’ve got to give us something more than that.”

I shook my head, mainly at myself. I shouldn’t have ever opened up the topic; it was my own fault. “Fine,” I said, crossing my arms. “I was seventeen. It was Valentine’s Day. That’s all—”

“Were you in love?” asked Lydia.

I could’ve balked at the question, but I didn’t. Answering it felt as easy as saying the sky was blue. “Yes.” In my next breath, I went back to my job. “Now that I’ve disclosed that bit of personal information, maybe you won’t be too upset when I tell you the president won’t take formal questions from the media until the joint press conference tomorrow.”

The reporters around me groaned and griped, but I continued smiling. “Don’t worry. You’ll have more opportunities. Thanks, y’all,” I said, retreating to my seat that was far away, but not far enough. I wanted to retreat from the world.

When I walked by Matt, he called out, “Get some sleep, okay, Nicole? You’re going to need it.”

I nodded.
Gladly
. Following orders, I grabbed my sleep mask from my bag. I’d look like Holly Golightly, but it was worth it for the darkness.

As I bedded down in my seat with a blanket and pillow, the mask gave me a sense of privacy. I nestled into my pillow, and that day at the beach came back to me. No matter what, I always felt blessed I had been in love with my first…

Adam rolled on his back, and after a few seconds of silence, he talked to the sky. “I want to be with you, Nicki. I want to be your first. I know it’s silly and stupid, but it would mean so much to me.”

When I didn’t immediately respond, he looked over at me. “But I understand if you don’t. If you want to wait…for someone who will be sticking around.”

Sticking around? Why would I want to wait for that guy—if that guy even ever came around? I only wanted Adam. I smiled to put him at ease. “I want it to be you. Now.”

“Now?”

“Now.”

He looked back and forth at our open surroundings. “But we’re outside, and you’ll get cold.”

“I don’t care, and no one is around. We’re in the middle of nowhere.”

Making sure he had his wallet, he guiltily remarked, “I have something…”

I got excited to tell him my surprise. “We don’t need it. I’m on the pill.”

“You are?”

“Yeah, for a while now.”

The prospect of condomless sex must’ve startled him. “I’ve never…done that before.”

“Well, then you’ll have a first, too.”