Discipline (16 page)

"Let me start a shower for you," Noah said, turning to head for the bathroom. He had a couple of thumb-size bruises on his ass that Tobias didn't recall making, and he seemed to have a light hitch in his
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step. "I'd like to ride, I need the air. Really, I'm fine."

"You're hurt!" Tobias walked after him and crowded Noah into a corner. "What did I do to you?"

Noah blinked at him, grinning. "You fucked me, sir, and quite well. I'm not hurt, I'm sore. A little achy is all; I'm fine."

"Really?" Tobias asked. He knew he'd taken Noah hard, knew he'd needed to, but he hadn't quite expected Noah to be so... happy about it. He felt a little swell of pride rear up and squashed it firmly, or tried to. It was kind of nice to know he could still do that, though. "You're okay?" he asked again, this time more to distract himself than from any real worry.

Noah leaned up and kissed him. "Promise. Now, please, sir, may I start a shower for you? You stink."

Tobias looked down at himself and grimaced. "God, yes. Thankyou." He really needed a shower. He didn't waste time in it, however, and within fifteen minutes he and Noah were dressed and on their way to the stables.

The morning chores went quickly with two sets of hands. They fed everyone first and then spent some time cleaning out stalls other and barn chores. By the time they had Crispin and Dianna groomed and tacked up, the horses had had plenty of time to digest.

Dianna, Tobias noted, wasn't as ornery around Noah as she used to be. Whether that was because of his presence or because of some understanding the two had finally come to, Tobias couldn't be sure, but he was glad of it all the same. They rode out into a bright, sunny, still morning. Noah took Crispin into the ring to warm up and appeared to be fairly sure of his seat despite his aches.

It was a good morning. Tobias felt better, as if the shock was wearing off around the edges. He supposed that being so physical helped the psychology of it -- fucking Noah, riding, raking stalls, moving so much -- it all served to remind him on every level that he was alive, that he had work to do.

Missing Mrs. Miller was something he had a lifetime for, and he knew he'd use it. Dealing with the loss in the immediate timeframe was his goal.

They rode out into the fields for a while, the biting February wind keeping the outing shorter than he would have liked, but he also didn't know when Bradford and Phan were going to arrive, or if others were going to stop by. Mrs. Miller had been popular, and her home would serve as a stopping point, even if her son and daughter-in-law lived down the road.

Tobias expected it to be a busy few days.

"Let's head back," he said to Noah, considering just that. "Get some lunch on for people."

Noah turned Crispin around and brought him up alongside Dianna. "Right... visitors," he said with a nod.

"Race you back?"

Tobias considered Noah's challenge a moment and then gave Dianna a squeeze with his thighs. Off she leapt, like the big-hearted, long-legged lady he knew her to be, racing him back toward the barn over hard ground and through the frigid air. He could hear Noah behind them, shouting something about his start not being fair, and he grinned, sitting deeper into the saddle and giving Dianna her head.

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By the time they'd reached the barn, both horses needed a bit of a walk and Tobias and Noah were both breathless. But they were warm, Tobias noted, so there was something to be said for the workout.

"You cheated!" Noah said in an accusing manner, walking Crispin around the yard to cool him down.

"Oh, sorry," Tobias said mildly. "Had a little trouble catching up, did you? Next time I'll be sure to give you a count of three and a warning."

"Crispin has shorter legs. You hurt his feelings," Noah said petulantly, but he was grinning. "She goes beautifully, that mare of yours, I must say."

"She's a cranky bitch," Tobias said with a smile and a nod, "but she knows how to move. She's a bit like me."

"No kidding."

They walked their mounts out a bit longer and then led them back into the barn. Noah took their tack while Tobias groomed them again and wrapped them up in their blankets, and then the two men headed back up to the house.

"I think we should get a soup on," Tobias said, pulling his boots off. "Which means you get a soup on; use the biggest pot you can find. Showers first, and I'll get some quick bread started. God knows how many people are going to wander through here or how long Bradford and Phan will stay."

The showers were fast. Noah seemed a bit worse for wear after the ride, but he still wasn't complaining.

Tobias watched as Noah limped his way down the stairs in his blue jeans and yet another too-big borrowed sweater. At least this one had a nice V-neck so Noah's collar gleamed for all visitors to see.

Noah had a rich tomato and vegetable stock going in record time and began adding everything but the kitchen sink to it. As it turned out, their haste was warranted, because before long a black car pulled into the driveway, and the smartly dressed driver opened the door to let Phan and Bradford out.

Tobias waited on the front porch, watching Phan's face as the two men walked to him. Phantom had dark circles under his eyes but seemed okay otherwise, if a little pale. Bradford offered his hand as he climbed the stairs, and Tobias shook it solemnly before opening his arms to Phan, unsurprised when the boy flew to him, burying his face in Tobias' chest.

"How was he last night?" he asked Bradford, rubbing Phan's back.

Bradford sighed. "He was very upset, of course; he loved her. He cried on and off all night. I let him sleep with me... he needed comfort." Bradford looked at Tobias critically. "How are you?"

"Better than I was yesterday," Tobias said. "Not as good as I will be." He rubbed Phan's back again.

"Come on in, both of you. Noah's got soup on, and we can be warm."

Against him, Phan nodded, but he didn't let go. Tobias rolled his eyes at Bradford and eased the boy into the house, finally giving up and calling for Noah. "Can you... um, take him for a moment? Just so I can check the bread and get Bradford a drink."

Noah nodded. "Yes, sir." He slid a hand between Tobias and Phan and drew Phan over to the couch.

"It's okay, Phan."

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Tobias watched Phan go to Noah, easily transferring the clinging hold he'd had. With a rueful smile he inclined his head to Bradford and gestured for him to follow into the kitchen.

"Tea, coffee, or something stronger?" he asked, peering into the oven.

"Coffee." Bradford pulled a chair out from the kitchen table and sat. "He's exhausting."

Tobias snorted and reached for the grinder. "Tell me about it." Measuring beans into the grinder, he took a closer look at Bradford. "How are you coping? With Phan in general, I mean."

"In general just fine, I suppose. It's not what I'm accustomed to, and poor Nikki is feeling a bit put out, I'm afraid; but as far as Phan goes, it's helping, I think. He makes enough mistakes that he has something to think about constantly. Did he always have trouble retaining things? I mean, is that just in his personality, or might that be a symptom of his therapy?"

Tobias thought about that as he ground the beans and got the coffee maker set up. "Well, I'm not sure,"

he said. "At the start it was like training a raw sub, which I hadn't expected because he'd been on the scene a while. But by the time we signed the slavery contract he was doing fine, rarely made any mistakes at all unless he was acting up on purpose. As a slave it was the same thing... a rough start. So maybe it's his pattern? Do you talk to Dr. Brewer at all?"

"She and I touch base every week. She says he's frustrated with what he perceives as 'too many rules'

but that he's interested and genuinely trying, so I suppose things are fine on his end." Bradford crossed his legs. "Could just be his pattern; he is improving quickly."

"Hmm. Anything in particular he's having trouble with? Maybe Nikki could help?"

"I am a creature of habit. I like my routines. Maybe I'm fussy and eccentric, that's not out of the realm of possibility." Bradford said in a self-deprecating tone. He shook his head. "He hasn't picked up on the routine quite yet; it's difficult for him to remember and anticipate me. It's not really his fault. In a perfect world I would set him up with someone that suits his style better; we're a little like a round peg and a square hole, but we manage."

Tobias sighed. He'd never had trouble fitting with Phan, not until things started to fall apart. He flipped the switch on the coffee maker and fetched the mugs, letting his hands do the busy work of getting the tray together. He paused, looking at the sugar bowl, and smiled.

"He gave this to her," he said softly. "The first Christmas he was here. He'd broken one the week before, and he dragged me all over the city to find the perfect one to replace it. This bowl cost me almost eighty dollars, the brat."

"Which brat? Phan? He's sweet. He really is. He has a huge heart and has no earthly idea what to do with it."

"I know," Tobias agreed. "She knew that, too, and just sort of... took him under her wing. It was amazing to watch. She didn't spend nearly as much time with Noah, and I kind of got the impression that she knew he didn't need her the same way. She was like... Phan's grandmother, really. She taught him to cook, and she scolded him, and she wouldn't put up with any backtalk. They adored each other."

"Noah is completely different," Bradford agreed. "Night and day, really. He's earnest, wears his heart on
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his sleeve, but he knows what he wants and insists on getting it."

"Oh, he does that," Tobias agreed. He finished getting the tray ready and added, "He's damn pushy sometimes. God, I love him."

Bradford grinned. "He's a better balance for you than Phan was." He stood and made his way over to lean on the counter. "I didn't know her that well, but you know you have my deepest sympathy, Tobias, as a friend. As more than a friend. I know this must have affected you deeply, and I am here if you need to blow off some steam, all right?"

Tobias nodded. "Thankyou. For the sympathy and the offer. This is... well, frankly, it's pretty horrible.

Mrs. Miller took care of me for thirty-six years -- I had her longer than my parents."

Bradford nodded and touched Tobias' shoulder. "I know. Was it quiet for her? Gentle at least?"

"Very," Tobias said softly. And he thanked God for it. "She just... didn't wake up in the morning. The poor twins who come to dust knew something was wrong when they got here and the doors were still locked. They called Peter down from the barn, and he went in. Said she just looked like she was sleeping." He lifted his hand to wipe at his cheek, unsurprised that it was damp again. He cleared his throat. "Robert told me that she didn't have any pain at all. Really, it was the best any of us can hope for."

"We should all be so lucky. She deserved it to be that way, Tobias, be happy for her." Bradford gave Tobias' shoulder a squeeze and backed off a bit, giving Tobias more air. "If I make it to eighty I will consider myself a very lucky man."

"If you make it to eighty we'll all be considered lucky, Bradford."

"Let's hope we get there together, then. We can be dirty old perverts and sit around drinking port and watching the young men strut around my club." Bradford winked. "Is that coffee ready? I haven't warmed up yet. It's cold outside the city."

Tobias grinned and poured the coffee into a carafe. "You're a pervert; I'm a deviant," he corrected, picking up the tray. "Shall we go find the pets?"

Bradford laughed. "Semantics. Yes, let's go."

"Ah, it's an important distinction," Tobias said, leading the way into the living room. "It's also a good comeback with a mouthy sub." He glanced at the boys on the couch and smiled. "Which neither of them is at the moment, seeing as how they're asleep."

Noah had Phan mostly in his lap, with Phan's head resting on his chest as they leaned back into the couch. One of them had pulled a blanket over their legs and one of Noah's arms, and it looked like they'd made themselves a nice little nest.

"Are we going to let them sleep?" Bradford asked, amused.

"Phan probably needs it. And Noah's body could use the rest." He set the tray down on the coffee table and looked at the boys, smiling.

"Kept him up late, did you?" Bradford grinned.

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"Not late so much as..." Tobias shrugged one shoulder. "Well. Let's just say that my subconscious made an effort to prove I was alive. I was a little surprised he was fit to ride a horse this morning." He poured the coffee carefully and handed a mug to Bradford. "I feel a little guilty about it, actually."

"Don't," Bradford said decisively. "You're his Master, you had a need, and he fulfilled it for you. That's his responsibility, and I'm sure it made him happy to be able to do it." Bradford took the coffee and took a long sip. "You wouldn't feel guilty if you'd felt the need to flog him."

"No, I suppose not," Tobias said. He wouldn't have. He thought about it for a moment, deciding that Noah's smug attitude in the aftermath meant he really and honestly didn't have anything to be guilty about.

"Maybe I'll do that later, as a reward," he added with a smile.

"Good man." Bradford winked. "He's really come a long way with you, Tobias. I'm very impressed, you know. I'm thinking of holding some workshops over the summer, and I hope you'll accept an invitation to be one of my instructors."

Tobias raised an eyebrow and tried not to smirk. "That sounds interesting." He glanced and Noah and his smirk grew. "And what shall I instruct on?"

Bradford laughed. "I'm sure you'll think of something -- or someone." He let silence fall while he took another sip of his coffee. "So, you'll be thinking about contract renewal soon?"