Discern (14 page)

“There’s an old diner about twenty miles outside of town on highway two eighty-seven,” I suggested.

“Sounds like a quiet, cozy place.”

“It is. I’ve been there several times,” I assured, trying to calm myself.

“A place you and your father go?”

“No. I go there alone sometimes to gather my thoughts.”

“Oh, Haley, you shouldn’t be out there alone.” He flashed a look of concern. “It could be dangerous,” he warned gently.

“I have mace,” I responded confidently.

“I don’t think that guarantees complete safety. Mace may stop one person, but not several,” he advised.

We began our descent down the concrete stairs. I held onto the cold, metal railing, careful not to have a repeat of earlier and go tumbling down the stairs, especially in front of him. He continued to hold the large umbrella over our heads as we walked alongside one another. His skin glowed ever so slightly, leading me to worry once more—not about his golden glow, but about my mind creating such an illusion in order to protect itself.

I was confident that within time, my mind would stop creating these delusions once I truly healed. Braden had nothing to do with healing any longer. Eventually, I would have to face my mother’s death head on, so I could be happy again—truly happy.

He held his passenger side door open for me. I guess I hadn’t really thought about how we were going to travel to the diner, but I figured I would have driven since I knew the way. However he insisted on driving. Nervously, I slid into the seat, feeling the cool, black leather beneath me and exhaled deeply. My door shut, and he slid inside the driver’s seat rather quickly.

“Nice car,” I smiled, as I examined the interior.

“Thanks.”

“I’m assuming you like fast cars?”

“Yes, even this one isn’t fast enough,” he smirked.

“I know a little about cars, since my father owns a dealership, and I’m pretty sure there isn’t a faster car than this one.”

“Jack Helms, right?”

“Yes, that’s my dad. How did you know his first name?”

“I’ve seen his commercials,” he smiled.

“Oh, god,” I moaned.

“He’s quite entertaining.”

“Something like that,” I grumbled.

“It’s too bad he doesn’t sell foreign.”

“Why’s that?”

“I would’ve purchased a car from him.”

“Not big on American cars?”

“They’re all right, I guess. But this has a V-12 engine and lots of power. I can’t find that in an American car,” he grinned widely.

“No, you definitely can’t.”

There was a brief moment of silence as we headed out from the university. The smooth ride of his car could put a person to sleep if they weren’t as exhilarated as I was to be so close to him once again. I frantically racked my brain for topics to fill the time and avoid any awkward silences.

“So did you get a chance to read your book?”

“The reincarnation one?” he clarified.

“Yes.”

“Yeah, but nothing scientific, just speculative jargon and a few alleged experiences.”

“Yeah, it was a little disappointing, but it made for good reading at the time,” I said softly.

He lightly touched my hand with his—my body tingled throughout.

“What other books do you enjoy reading?” he asked curiously.

“I can’t tell you, you’ll laugh,” I blushed.

“I won’t laugh,” he promised.

“Just those silly vampire romance novels.”

“You like vampires?”

“No, but I like the love stories,” I admitted shamefully.

 
“So you still believe in love?”

“Oh, yes, very much so, but just not sure if it’ll ever happen to me.”

“You’re preposterous,” he said lightly. “Love will happen for you. Remember what I said, your heart has to be available in order to receive it,” he reminded.

“That’s exactly what I’m worried about,” I sighed. “What if I never heal from her death?”

“You will,” he said softly. “You will.”

“I hope so.”

“So is it just the love story or something else that you’re fond of in these novels?” he asked, continuing.

“Maybe it’s the danger of their love. He craves not only her love, but also her blood. And still, he denies everything he is to be with her.”

“Is that what you desire?”

“Well, yes, but obviously vampires don’t exist, and I doubt any human male could love so deeply that they would give up everything for the one they loved.”

A weird expression spread across his face, but it was difficult to tell what he might be thinking.

“What about immortality?” he asked uneasily. “Would you choose that?”

“If there was a possibility of immortality, I don’t know. I mean, on one hand, it would be nice to live forever, but what if heaven is real, and I miss the opportunity of seeing my mother again?” I pondered.

“Immortality seems like a curse, but could be bearable if the one you loved was with you for eternity,” he smiled softly as he stared out the windshield.

It was hard not to stare, as his eyes seemed to sparkle even more brilliantly than ever before. I wasn’t sure if it was the illumination from the dashboard or if somehow my delusions were becoming more powerful.

“Is there something wrong?” he asked, interrupting my apparent stare.

“No.” I shook my head. “Why?”

“You keep flashing a suspicious look my way,” he grinned.

He had noticed. “Oh, it’s nothing…just hallucinations, I think.” I bit my lower lip as I anxiously answered.

“I thought you said you were alcohol and drug free,” he smirked, referring back to our conversation at Woody’s.

“I am. I don’t use drugs,” I promised.

“Then what are you hallucinating about?”

“It’s nothing, really,” I said, desperately not wanting him to think I was crazy.

“No, it’s something,” he smiled. “You have been flashing these same, unusual looks since Saturday at the bookstore.”

My stomach knotted. “I-it’s just your eyes.” My voice cracked.

“Oh, that again,” he said.

“Sorry, it’s just me.”

“What do my eyes look like to you?” he asked, continuing to entertain my ridiculous delusions.

“Like sparkling gemstones,” I uttered without thinking.

“Gemstones,” he muttered, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Oh, god, I’m so sorry, uh, I don’t know how to describe it any other way,” I sighed, hitting my head hard against the headrest. This was painfully embarrassing.

“No, it’s fine. I’ve never had anyone tell me my eyes look like gemstones,” he said, wrapping his knuckles tighter around the gear knob.

My crazy thoughts were immediately regretted as I noticed his demeanor change. I wasn’t sure why this surprised me. Obviously, he just realized he was in the presence of a lunatic.

“It’s just me and my defense mechanism. I should’ve never said anything,” I apologized nervously.

My mind must be working overtime. I was truly shocked at this ability to conjure up these hallucinations to avoid moving on with my life. I sighed heavily.

“Don’t apologize. I’d rather you tell me than to keep all of those thoughts bottled up inside,” he said, relaxing his shoulders.

His kindness was not deserved. “I’m not sure speaking of these hallucinations is a good idea.”

“I don’t think you are hallucinating.” His voice was soft and understanding.

“Umm, I am, because no one else can see it, but me,” I disagreed.

“Maybe it’s just how you see my eyes.”

I appreciated his suggestion, but he was obviously trying hard to be nice for some odd reason. The hottest man in
Boulder
, maybe the entire world, was trying to comfort me, the town wreck.

“Maybe,” I agreed, sighing heavily, wishing to end this humiliating conversation.

“Haley, you’re not crazy,” he reassured, smiling.

“No just broken,” I murmured.

“You aren’t broken either. You’re the only one that thinks that—no one else does. Everyone else sees a beautiful woman trying desperately to heal from many wounds,” he explained. “I find you very intriguing.”

“Intriguing is not the appropriate word,” I paused. “More like crazy.” I rolled my eyes.

“You’re ridiculous,” he grinned.

“I’m surprised you haven’t pulled over and thrown me out, but you seem too polite for that.”

“Me, throw you out of the car? Now that is crazy talk,” he teased playfully.

I still noticed his sparkling, emerald eyes as he gazed tenderly back at me. I was truly beginning to believe there was something wrong with me—all this to avoid heartbreak.

The car slowed. I shifted my gaze from his face to the windshield.

“I assume this is the place?” He motioned toward a metal building with white, red and blue stripes painted underneath the large windows and a bright red neon sign with the letter ‘r’ unlit.

“Your assumption is correct,” I smiled.

We pulled into the gravel drive, and I unlocked my seat belt—I noticed he hadn’t been wearing his.

“You should really be more concerned about your safety,” I mentioned, smiling.

“Were you scared by my driving?” he asked amused.

“No, but you weren’t wearing your seat belt.”

“It’s never been a habit of mine.”

“I’d hate for anything bad to happen to you,” I admitted nervously.

“If it makes you feel better, I promise to wear my seat belt in the future.”

“It would.”

The sound of gravel crunching below my feet reminded me of the other night at Woody’s as we strolled across the parking lot. I was hopeful that tonight would end differently than that evening.

He opened the glass door motioning for me to enter first. The scent of fresh baked apple pie filled the restaurant. There were two other cars parked outside besides ours, so I suspected the place would be fairly empty—my suspicion was correct.

Three husky men wearing camouflage overalls were seated near the door. They must have been on an extended hunting trip the way they appeared. I could smell the cigarette smoke and musty odor coming from their muddy clothing. All of their heads turned simultaneously, glaring at us as we passed by.

All three were large, but varied in degree. I shuttered slightly as I remembered back to the other day and the two men at the park trying to get my attention. These men appeared even more menacing.

An older, pale-faced woman with gray hair pulled up in a bun gave us a quick smile, leisurely walking in our direction “Just the two of ya?” she asked while smacking loudly on a piece of gum.

Andrew nodded and we followed her lead. She sat us in a small booth near the back. I slid onto the old, tattered brown vinyl covered seat. She pushed the menu across the table, which landed right smack in front of me. Nothing looked appetizing, but I never came here for the food, just the solitude. It took a while to decide. “I think I figured out what I want,” I smiled.

Andrew waved for the waitress. “What can I get you both?”

Andrew nodded for me to go first, and I ordered. “I’ll take the strawberry pancakes with a side of hash browns and an iced tea with two lemons,” I said, slowly closing my menu and pushing it in her direction.

She turned to Andrew. “I’ll take a water and slice of cherry pie.”

The waitress nodded and left.

“Dessert?”

“Nothing appealed to me.”

“I know, but I didn’t choose this place for the food, just the atmosphere.”

“We should find a better place next time,” he suggested.

I was elated to hear those words. My delusions had not scared him away, and he planned on us being together another time in the future. “I agree,” I smiled.

Andrew was focused on the three large men seated at the front. “Do you know them?” I whispered, leaning in to ensure they didn’t hear me.

“No,” he whispered back still keeping his eyes locked on them.

Before I could take another look, the waitress returned. She slid our drinks and plates in front of us. I slowly drizzled syrup over my pancakes, but Andrew didn’t touch his piece of pie as he continued glaring in the direction of the camouflaged men.

“What’s going on?” I asked nervously. They really didn’t look like the type anyone would want to stare at for too long.

“It’s nothing, but as soon as you get done eating, we should immediately leave,” he replied, running his finger along his glass of water.

His eyes locked with one of men, and they both stared at one another. The other two turned in our direction. Andrew continued to glare.

A feeling of unease spread throughout my body—I watched Andrew’s face tense up. But I was more worried as to why he felt the need to look in their direction. Those men seemed like the type who would take someone out back, shoot them, and come right back in and finish their meal with no remorse. “Is something wrong?” I asked.