Dirty Little Secrets (Dirty Little Secrets #1) (17 page)

I’m going to see just how far I can push him tonight.
 

“What are you doing?” he asks, voice tight.
 

“You know what I’m doing,” I say. I’m making a concerted effort to touch him everywhere but the place he wants it most.
 

“You’re teasing me, that’s what.”
 

I laugh as I grip his hard length, sliding my hand up and down. He lets out a sigh of relief when he feels my touch, and he lifts his hips, looking for friction, needing more than just my short, slow strokes.

“Mia,” he says. It’s like he’s pleading and growling all at once. “Put your mouth on my cock.”
 

I love it when he’s vocal about what he wants, and when he’s a little bit bossy about it. I do what he says, as I lean down and lick a long strip along the underside of his shaft, then swirl my tongue around the head. Caleb lifts his head so he can watch, and his eyelids are heavy with lust. He reaches down and threads his fingers through my hair. He’d never force my head down, but I know he wants me to take him into my mouth.
 

So, I do. I swirl my tongue around him, alternating sucking and licking. I grip his base with my hand, alternating the movement of my hand and my mouth. He’s making these short, low grunts with every move I make, and his breath is coming in quick, hard pants. I keep eye contact with him as I lick and tease more noises out of him. It’s almost like a game with myself, wondering what kind of noises my mouth will coax out of him.
 

“I love your mouth,” he says, and I show him just how skilled my mouth is. “Fuck.
Deeper
.”
 

I take him in as deep as I can, then swallow around the tip of his cock as I give his balls a gentle tug. He’s propped up on one elbow now, his head thrown back, Adam’s apple bobbing as strangled sounds escape his mouth. The bed sheet is twisted between his fingers, and he’s trembling with the sheer force of will it takes not to thrust up into my mouth.

I sit back for a moment, needing to catch my breath from the sheer intensity of it all, and in one quick motion, Caleb lifts me up so that I’m draped across his chest. Our mouths crash together, and he kisses me slowly, all desperate and deep.
 

“Get up on your knees,” he says, his lips moving against mine. “Get up on your knees and hold onto the headboard.”
 

It’s obvious that Caleb knows that I get turned on when he tells me what to do in bed, and I always respond enthusiastically. He rustles around behind me, probably putting on a condom, and the mattress dips as he situates himself behind me. His thighs bracket mine, and his skin is so incredibly warm. One of his hands slides up my side, until he’s cupping my right breast, and he rubs my nipple between his index finger and thumb. With his free hand, he gathers my hair and lays it over my left shoulder, then latches onto my neck as he thrusts up inside of me.
 

I arch my back, pulling him in deeper. “Oh god,” I say, letting my head fall back against his shoulder.
 

“Relax into me,” he says, wrapping his arms around my chest and middle. “I’ve got you.” Caleb keeps moving his hips relentlessly, and he reaches down to rub at my clit. The spot he’s hitting inside of me is
amazing.

“Do you feel how perfect this is?” he asks. “Me inside of you?”
 

I can’t seem to manage any words, so I just nod. Yes, it’s perfect.
 

“We were made for each other,” he says, his voice low and deep as he nips at my earlobe.
 

“Harder,” I beg. “Please.”
 

I don’t have to ask Caleb twice. He trusts into me harder, faster, to the point where our skin slaps together with every move he makes. Again, and again, and again, never slowing, driving me further and further into pleasure until I’m falling apart, clenching around him. He holds onto me tight, then he falls after me, faltering as he rides out his orgasm, saying my name.
 

We both ride out the aftershocks together, moving a little, rocking against each other. Caleb kisses his way across my back, and his lips feel good against my sweat-slicked skin.
 

“I’m falling in love with you,” he whispers, nuzzling his nose into my hair.
 

It’s the kind of thing someone says in the hazy aftermath of a great orgasm; maybe it’s the truth, and maybe it isn’t. Either way, I’m not going to hold him to it.
 

But the thing is…I’m falling in love with him, too.
 

The smell of freshly brewed coffee drags me out of what was an incredibly restful slumber. When I open my eyes, the lack of Caleb’s body snuggling up to mine alerts me that I’m alone in the bed. I slide my arm out, touching Caleb’s side, and the sheets are still warm. After I slide out of bed, I pad over to the dresser, and pull out one of Caleb’s shirts. I know he likes to see me in them, and it’s a lazy Sunday morning. Chances are, he won’t even turn on his laptop to do a little work until later this afternoon.
 

I’m hoping for a repeat performance of last night, and walking out to greet Caleb dressed like this is a sure-fire way to get things going in that direction.
 

I follow the scent of the coffee, and make my way out into the kitchen. Caleb is standing at the kitchen island, a pair of sweatpants slung low on his hips, and his hair is all tousled from sleep. He’s shirtless, just the way I like him, and he’s skimming through the Business section of the newspaper. It’s nice, waking up to a warm cup of coffee poured by someone like Caleb. It’s more than I deserve, but I’m going to appreciate every moment of it while I can.
 

He looks up, as if he can sense that I’m looking at him.
 

“Hey,” he says sleepily, smiling at me.
 

I can see the moment he recognizes what I’m wearing, and the happiness in his eyes melts away into something more carnal.
 

He slides a cup across the island; it’s still so hot that it’s steaming.
 

“Hey,” I reply, making my way over to where that liquid gold is waiting for me. It’s got cream and a teaspoon of sugar in it, just the way I like it, and a strong rush of affection for this man hits me square in the chest. “Thank you for this.”
 

Caleb reaches across the island, and takes hold of the mug’s handle. “If you want more, you’re gonna have to come and get it.”
 

I do want more, so I go and get it. Caleb warps his arm around my waist, and pulls me close, giving me a soft kiss. “Good morning.”
 

“Good morning,” I reply.
 

Caleb hands me my coffee, and I take a long sip, letting out an appreciative noise when I swallow.
 

“Your laptop was going off a few minutes ago,” he says casually.

I narrow my eyes at him. “Going off?”
 

“Yeah,” he says, turning a page of the paper. “Beeping. I hope you don’t mind, but I muted it. I went to wake you up, but you looked so peaceful in bed.”

A cold chill runs down my spine, and my grip just…gives out. The coffee cup I’m holding falls to the floor, splashing hot coffee all over my legs. I’m too stunned and panicked to even care about the pain.
 

“Jesus, Mia,” Caleb says, sounding worried.
 

I vaguely register him moving in my peripheral vision, and then he’s kneeling in front of me, wiping the coffee off of my legs with a hand towel.
 

“Are you okay?” he asks. “Mia?”
 

The panic in his voice is increasing with the panic in my chest. I turn, and walk over to where my laptop is sitting on the dining room table. Sure enough, my tracking program is up, only instead of alerts for Privya’s name or whereabouts, I see my own name. Multiple times. I had set up a search for myself, just in case, and it started going off really early this morning. When I click on one of the alerts, the link takes me to the website for a gossip rag. There’s a picture posted of me and Caleb from last night.
 

How did anyone at that site find out my name? Was I on a guest list somewhere? Did Caleb, or Felicity, or maybe Ben tell someone? Why did I even tell them my real name? I checked in to the hotels with aliases. Why…why did I let them in? Does any of this even matter now? My name is out there. My face is out there, and I’ve just given someone who knows where to look a map that leads straight to me.
 

It also leads straight to Caleb.
 

Fuck
.

“Is everything okay?” Caleb asks cautiously from the doorway. He’s looking at me like I’m a wild animal that he’s scared to spook.

Before I answer him that no, everything might not be okay, I need to know how not okay things are. I check the alerts that I have set up on Privya, and there aren’t any. Not yet. Either he’s not on the move, or he’s been using cash, like me. Or he’s traveling in some other kind of way that I’m unable to trace. Regardless, nothing that I have access to gives me any indication that he’s left Chicago.
 

So, I’ve got that going for me, I guess.
 

“Everything’s okay,” I tell Caleb. My voice is shaky, though, and I know he’ll catch the lie. Sometimes the man can read me like a book.
 

He walks up behind me, and I jump when he touches my shoulder. “Mia?”
 

“It’s noth-”

“Don’t tell me this is nothing,” he says. The panic in his voice earlier is being overtaken by anger. It’s burning around the edges, just waiting to catch fire. “Tell me the truth.”
 

I walk over to the floor-to-ceiling windows, and look out at the park. For so long, being in this apartment let me forget about the outside world. Right now, I’d love to be out in it. I’d love to be anywhere but here. This is the moment that I let myself believe would never come.
 

This is the moment that proves I’m a fool.
 

“God damn it, Mia,” Caleb says, walking up behind me. “Your computer’s going off like crazy, you dropped your coffee all over yourself and barely even noticed it. You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Tell me what the fuck is going on. Now.”
 

Caleb’s patience has run out, and I don’t blame him for not wanting to wait anymore. Honestly, I don’t want to keep this secret anymore. So, here goes.
 

“It’s true what I told you, that I left Chicago because I needed a new start. But needing a new start, it wasn’t a voluntary thing,” I say, turning my head to the side. I can’t bear to look at him, settling instead for seeing him out of the corner of my eye. “I was running away from something there.”
 

“Running away from what?” He walks closer, and I turn my head to look out the window again. Talking is easier this way, because I don’t have to see the anger and disappointment on his face. “What are you hiding from me?”
 

I swallow, not quite sure how I’m going to phrase the next part of the story.
 

“Look at me,” Caleb says roughly.
 

I do as he asks, I at least owe him that. When my eyes finally meet his, there’s anger there, yes…but there’s also fear.
 

“I’ve been patient, and I never want to push you, Mia. But if there was ever a time to push, it seems like it’s now. I’ve opened my home to you, and helped you when you didn’t have anyone, and you owe me the goddamn truth.”
 

“I know,” I say, feeling my eyes water. “I know I do. I wanted to tell you sooner-”

“Bullshit,” he says. “If you wanted to tell me sooner, you would’ve told me sooner.”
 

“I was scared,” I admit. My voice sounds smaller than it ever has before, and something in it makes Caleb’s expression soften.
 

He takes a step toward me. “You don’t have to be scared with me.”
 

“I do,” I say, nodding. The tears are flowing freely now, and I’m not even going to try to stop them. “Once I tell you, you’re not going to look at me the way that you do, and I didn’t want to lose that. You make me…you make me forget all of this shit, and…”
 

“I can help you,” he says. “But I can’t do that if you won’t tell me what’s wrong.”
 

“You can’t help me with this.”
 

Caleb runs his fingers through his hair frustratedly. “You can at least let me try!”

“Can we sit down?”
 

“I’m fine where I am. Stop trying to stall, Mia.”
 

“Can we please sit down? I’d feel better if we were sitting down.”
 

Caleb lets out a long, shaky breath, and makes his way over to the couch, and sits down. His legs are wide open, his elbows resting on his knees. His foot bounces up and down nervously, like he just can’t sit still. He looks as on edge as I feel.
 

I take a seat on the coffee table across from him. I figure it’ll be good to keep some distance between us. I’d feel better if I was wearing something other than Caleb’s shirt to have this conversation, but there’s no turning back now.
 

“I don’t know where to start,” I admit. Do I start by telling him about the money I stole? Do I start at the point when I left Chicago? How far back should I go?

“What were you running away from?” Caleb asks.
 

“It’s complicated.”
 

He sighs, and shrugs his shoulders. “I’ve got all day, Mia.”
 

I take a deep breath. Here goes.
 

“I told you the other night about the woman—Amelia—who treated me like one of her own after my mom died.”
 

Caleb nods, acknowledging that he remembers.
 

“After my mom died, my dad, he was really depressed. He did the best that he could with me, but he didn’t really know how to be a single father at first. I guess most people don’t, when it comes unexpectedly like that. He was out of work for a while…well, a long while, and we didn’t really have that much money to begin with. We had been renting this house in the suburbs—white picket fence and all that—but he couldn’t bare to live there anymore with my mom gone, and we couldn’t afford the rent, anyway.