Dirty Little Secrets (18 page)

“So you have never had a proper girlfriend?”

He shook his dark head. “Never had and never will.”

“I have. A boyfriend I mean, not a girlfriend. In Mississippi I had a couple steady boyfriends. In my defence there was not a lot to do in Tally, Mississippi.”

“You realise you just told me your home town?” James’ brow arched in question.

Megan unfolded a white paper napkin that had come with the pizza and dabbed the corners of her mouth. “Yep I do. The way I figure it, if you’re going to fuck me over, nothing I do or say is going to stop you so I may as well stop trying to cover my tracks. It takes far too much energy. And you know what, it feels good to be able to be honest with someone.”

James smiled. “Nice to meet you, Megan from Tally, Mississippi. I am James from Sydney, Australia. Ever been?”

Megan shook her head. “To Australia? No. I just applied for my passport this month. I never needed one before but after the election I will need it when I travel with Ben.”

A dark shadow crept across James’ face. “Why did you marry Ben? You could do much better.”

She shook her head. “No I couldn’t really. You said it yourself. No man is going to put up with my bullshit for very long.”

“I’m sure if a man loved you enough, he would learn to deal with it.”

“I doubt it. But it doesn’t matter. I can’t do relationships. I tried and they were all sorts of fucked up. I’m not even sure I would know a functional relationship if it bit me in the ass. I’m not even sure functional relationships exist.”

“I don’t think I have ever met a woman more cynical than me.”

Megan smiled as if she had been complimented. “I am also better educated and a better runner, if we are keeping score. I like this game.”

“Being more cynical is not a good thing.”

“Says who? You sound like a sore loser.”

James held up his hands in exasperation. He went to the freezer and came back with a carton of mint chip ice cream. Megan had not had ice cream in months. She had put some in her cart on her last shopping trip but Ben reminded her that the camera added 10lbs and she had promptly put it back.

“None for me. Thanks.”

“If you tell me you are watching your weight, I’ll lose all respect for you,” James said as he took out two bowls and laid them on the counter, the counter where they had first had sex.

“And if I told you I was trying to be healthy?”

“I would call you on your bullshit. You ran seven miles today. You’re healthy, woman. You have a lovely big ass I like to grab onto, but you are as healthy as they come. Two scoops or three?” He did not wait for her to respond before he started dishing out ice cream.

“I can’t believe you just said I had a fat ass.” She felt simultaneously insulted and complimented.

James finished serving up one bowl and then started on the next. “And I can’t believe your take away from that comment is that I think you have a fat ass. I think it perfect; high and soft and round. Every time I see it I want to get you on all fours so I can hold onto it as I ride you. This morning the reason it took me so long to catch up with you was that it’s surprisingly difficult to run with an erection. But you heard ‘fat ass’. Women…” he sighed as he sat the bowl in front of her.

A hot flush crept over her. “Are you forgetting I read the papers? Your usual type is emaciated bottle blondes.”

“Another thing you have taught me, Megan. Turns out I prefer mouthy DA’s with nice big asses. Who knew? Want chocolate sauce?”

She nodded. Her mouth was suddenly dry. What she really wanted was for James to lift her up and take her on the counter again.

James smiled wickedly as he squeezed sauce onto her ice cream. It was like he was reading her mind again. “I’m going to let you in on a secret. Real men don’t care about cellulite or wobbly bits or any of the other bullshit women seem to think we care about. When a woman is naked under a man, the only thing he cares about is fucking her hard. So enjoy your ice cream.”

Her gaze flew to the counter, mere feet away.

James smiled as he realised what she was thinking. “Not tonight. You’re one of the few women whose company I enjoy as much outside the bedroom as in so I’m not going to fuck it up. Just give me one night of chat and then tomorrow I’ll fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk properly. Deal?”

Megan laughed. A real laugh. She hated to admit it, but she enjoyed his company too. “Deal. But first I need to call Ben and ask him to record
Jeopardy
. It’s my thing, don’t judge me. I never miss it, or any court drama. I like watching and shouting objection at the screen every time one of the characters does something preposterous.”

“
Jeopardy
, huh? I’ve never seen it.”

Megan shook her head. “How can you not have seen
Jeopardy
? It’s only the best game show in the history of television. It’s my happy place. Well, the bottom of a bottle of red wine is number one but number two is definitely
Jeopardy
.”

“You’re very cute when you’re animated. Must be some show.” The way James looked at her, told her he was telling the truth. His gaze was all over her, marking her, a testament to how desirable he found her.

Megan’s flesh warmed at his words. Her breath hitched in her throat. “I thought you said I was cute when I am shocked.”

James leaned into her. Inches from her he whispered, “Turns out you’re cute a lot of the time.” His lips were nearly on hers. The faint scent of mint and chocolate clung to him. She breathed in deeply, inviting him to kiss her. Her eyes closed.

But his lips never found her. “Watch it here.”

Megan’s eyes flew open as he reached past her and then righted himself suddenly as he presented her with a remote control.

Megan managed to suppress the disappointed groan she felt forming deep within. “I didn’t know you had a television. I didn’t see it.”

A wicked smile formed on his full mouth. “I have one in here.” He pointed to a small TV on the counter. “And one in my bedroom. I think it speaks volumes to my abilities that you didn’t notice.”

The heat continued to spread over her body, pooling at her core with a throbbing intensity. He did not know how right he was. When he was close to her, the world was blocked out; all she could focus on was the magnetic pull between them. The force was enough for her to forget herself, who she was and who she was supposed to be.

The rest of the evening was spent chatting and laughing and beating James thoroughly at
Jeopardy
. In his defence he was not accustomed to the practice of phrasing the answer as a question, so he lost points even when he knew the answer.

Megan could not remember laughing or smiling so much in her life. Her cheeks ached from it. James told her stories about his childhood in Australia and asked her about herself. He never asked her anything about her childhood; instead he asked her her opinion on everything from international politics to celebrity gossip.

Several times during the night she had to resist the urge to kiss him. There were few things in life she wanted more but tonight wasn’t about sex. She had no idea what it was about but she was enjoying it. She was enjoying just being with James.

Sometime around eleven they went to bed. Neither of them wanted to go to sleep, both realising that the night was special and not likely to happen again.

“Left side or right?” James asked as they stood at the foot of the bed.

Megan shrugged her shoulders. She had never shared a bed with anyone other than Ben on occasion. “Which one do you usually take?”

“The middle.”

Megan eyed him dubiously. The bed was large but not nearly large enough to accommodate 6’4” of well-muscled man in the middle and still leave room for her. “What about when you have a guest?”

“The middle, but with her under me.” He smiled.

Megan gave his midsection a soft swipe as she returned his smile. “I don’t need tales of your exploits, man-whore. I’ll take the left.” She picked the side closest to the bathroom. She was usually up once a night.

“Do you have a shirt I can borrow to sleep in?” she asked.

James opened a drawer and tossed her a soft cotton shirt. She took off her clothes and slipped it over her head before she sat down on the side of the bed to take off her socks.

“Do you mind if I sleep naked? I could keep my boxers on if it makes you uncomfortable.”

Megan laughed. “I’ve had your penis in my mouth. I’m past feeling uncomfortable with your body.”

A lecherous look washed over James’ dark features. “In that case, get naked, woman. If we’re doing the whole sleepover thing, I want a proper experience. God only knows when I’ll find another woman I actually want to wake up next to.”

Before she could answer, he was above her, pulling off her shirt. He threw it to the floor and then leaned down. She thought he was going to kiss her but he just pressed his lips against her temple in a chaste peck, something she would reserve for grandmothers.

“Night, Megan. Sleep well, because tomorrow I am going to kick your ass on our run.”

She let out a frustrated sigh.

As if reading her mind again, he added, “And tomorrow night you are going to meet me in my hotel and I am going to fuck you until you scream my name loud enough to make the people in the next room complain.”

She sighed again, eager to get started on that now but he was right, if they had sex she would want to leave. And tonight there was no place she wanted to be more than curled in beside James. “Good night, James.”

“Night, my little wombat.”

James pulled back the duvet and she slid underneath it before he did the same. She lay on her side, James behind her, his body pressed against hers, holding her. She closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. His body was perfect, they fitted together seamlessly. When they were standing, their height difference made it awkward, but lying in bed, they felt like they were made for each other.

A few minutes later Megan said, “I thought sex was off the table.” His cock was pressed hard against her back.

“It is.”

“Your penis didn’t get the memo.”

“Of course my cock is hard. You’re in my bed. I would have to be dead not to have an erection. Go to sleep.”

“What happened to your not wanting to waste an erection policy?” That policy was sounding brilliant at the moment, her self-control melted away the moment she felt his skin on hers. Megan pushed herself up the bed so she could feel his length lower until it was pressed against the bottom of her butt cheek. She hitched her leg up and arched her back until he slid lower still. She heard his breath catch in his throat and his body tense, his cock involuntarily jerking against her. She arched her back further until he was positioned at the entrance of her body.

She was wet and ready for him. It would only take the slightest of movements for him to be inside her.

“Turns out I throw out all the rules with you. Now go to sleep.” James’ voice was a ragged rasp, full of desire and frustration.

“I for one liked that policy. As far as policies go, it was a good one.”

“Didn’t ask your opinion.”

“Really? I could have sworn you did.”

“Good night, Megan. Stop moving or it’ll never go away.”

“One of us better stay up and watch it then. Apparently an erection that lasts more than four hours requires medical attention,” she said in the most serious tone she could muster. She should not be enjoying his obvious discomfort, but she did. And she respected his willpower; she had misplaced hers.

“Only if you have taken something. Good night.”

Megan sighed, her frustration eased by the contentment of being encircled in his powerful arms. “You are a very nice man, James Emerson.”

“Thank you, Megan. That time it didn’t even sound like an insult.”

Chapter Twelve

Megan glanced down at her cell phone. It was after ten; James always texted at ten. Maybe she should not have sent the text that morning. But she had to, the uncertainty was killing her. She wasn’t carefree or spontaneous or any of the many other attributes James seemed to think she embodied. James saw a romanticised version of her. It wasn’t who she was. She needed him to know that before she disappointed him any more.

Somehow over the last month they had fallen into a routine. It had happened so gradually, she could almost pretend she did not notice. But she did. They saw each other five nights a week. Sometimes talking, the other times having the most amazing sex Megan had ever experienced. And every morning he met her at her favourite trail and they ran together along the Potomac. They talked about everything and nothing; the only thing off limits was her past, and he never asked, though sometimes she would tell him bits and pieces of her life before Ben because talking about it was scary and liberating at the same time.

Sometimes she wanted to call him and tell him it was over but then she would hear his voice and he would soothe her without even trying. He had the most perplexing ability to make her feel better when everything about him should do the opposite. If she thought about it too hard, she would run, she didn’t need someone who made her feel good, she did not need anyone who made her feel anything for that matter. The only thing that kept her from ending it was knowing their time was running out anyhow.

And the fact she liked him.

She hated that she did, but she did. That is why she had to be firm about their end date. She needed concrete, limited, real. Whatever she had with James could not last much longer. The person she was with him was an anomaly.

“Ms. McCoy?” Judge Ross asked.

Megan’s heat shot up. She smiled to cover, hoping he had not noticed her lapse in concentration.

“Does the District oppose a continuation?” Judge Ross pressed.

Megan cleared her throat. “No, your honour.”

Megan looked pleadingly at the other ADA at the table. Fiona Wilson mouthed the date the Judge had given and Megan quickly scribbled it down.

“Thanks,” Megan mouthed.

Fiona smiled.

While Fiona took the next case, Megan excused herself to the ladies room. She took a long drink at the fountain before she headed to the restroom. She stared at herself hard in the mirror while she decided what to do next. She took a deep breath; she didn’t play games. Quickly she dialled his number before she could decide it was a bad idea.