Dirty Little Secret (12 page)

Cailin jerked backward, away from his touch. The distracted look on her face told him it was mostly reflex, probably left over from the past month, but it burned all the same. She chose that moment to look up, to focus on him. Lord knew what she read in his eyes, but she reached out and took his hand in hers, settling them both on her knee.

“So, you’re not…together.” Raised eyebrows made clear what Cailin meant.

Sara Beth’s pert nose wrinkled. “Ew! No. That would be like going to bed with my brother.”

“But it’s obvious you love each other.”

“We do,” Alex assured her. “We’ve been best friends since we met as teenagers. But we aren’t in love.” He squeezed her hand hard. “There’s no fire. Not anything like it is with
us
.”

A pretty pink blush stained her cheeks, a more natural hue than the hot flush her crying jag had left behind.

“Besides,” Sara Beth interjected, “Sam wouldn’t share.”

“Sam?” Cailin blinked. “Oh. Sam.”

Sara Beth took her turn blushing. “It’s easier to have my ‘female friend’ sleep over than it is for Alex to have an overnight guest.”

“Which is why I haven’t. Ever,” Alex assured Cailin. “Even while we were engaged. But that night at Thrice, when I saw you…” The impossibility of putting the feeling into words drove him to silence. Cailin nodded, either because she understood or because she’d felt the same way.

Sara Beth punched him lightly in the arm. “Not for lack of trying. I’m not a selfish bitch.”

“No, you’re a woman who stands to lose everything if her father caught even a hint of scandal,” Alex reminded her.

Sara Beth’s mouth tightened. “You can’t go on like this forever, Alex. As much as I love you, it’s not fair for you to be alone.”

Cailin added her other hand to the pile on her knee. “He’s not.”

Her words sparked something in his chest he couldn’t identify. Ignoring it, he frowned at her. “You don’t know what you’re agreeing to. Living in secrecy wears on you. It doesn’t get easier; it just gets harder.”

Cailin opened her mouth to speak, paused, glanced at Sara Beth, then seemed to come to a decision. “Alex, I want you. I…care about you.”

Shock kept him silent for a long moment. “You what?”

She firmed her shoulders. “I care, Alex. This month has been…”

“Hell.”

“Yes.”

Fire shot through his veins. Alex leaned forward and took her face between his hands. The kiss was hot and carnal and everything he really wanted it to be. It didn’t end until Sara Beth cleared her throat, then finally gave a loud, laughing, “Hey!” to break them apart. Being able to see Cailin’s bemused smile made the interruption worth it.

“I want you too, Cailin.” Alex spoke from his heart, and his voice cracked with emotion by the end of those five little words.

“And that sounds like my cue to get outta here,” Sara Beth teased. She stood and looked down at them both. Then she brushed Alex’s cheek with a sweet kiss. “Congrats, Alex.”

Questions remained—a lot of them—but for tonight, he let them go. Instead he smiled. “Thanks.”

Cailin stood from the love seat. She stepped tentatively toward Sara Beth, then enveloped the other woman in a fervent hug, turned her face into Sara Beth’s neck, and whispered fiercely, “Thank you. Your secret is safe with me.”

Sara Beth gripped her tight and whispered something Alex couldn’t hear in her ear. Cailin stepped back with a laugh and brushed stray tears from her cheeks.

Sara Beth headed for the door. “Don’t worry about tonight. Ian has enough presence for all of us put together. Take the night off.”

As if he’d planned on anything else. Alex raised a brow at Cailin. “You heard the lady. Go get your stuff. We’re going home.”

“We are?”

“Absolutely.” He leaned close, her scent surrounding him, and breathed against her ear, “I’ve waited a long time to have you again. You’ve got five minutes. Then you’re mine.”

Chapter Nine

For some reason, Cailin had expected Alex to jump her the minute the door closed on her tiny house. The frantic groping in the bathroom had shown evidence of desperate need, a need she more than shared. But Alex seemed to have other ideas.

Leaning back against the closed door, he drank her in. Cailin dropped her bags, for once not anxious or nervous or afraid. Instead she waited, confident that the man standing in front of her wanted her, needed her with an aching urgency that matched her own. Even if she hadn’t been, the words that escaped his mouth would have convinced her.

“God, sweetheart. I just keep waiting to wake up and find out this is a dream.”

It wasn’t an admission of love—she wasn’t even sure she wanted one. Their situation was too complex, too rife with the possibility for heartache. But they were exactly what she needed to hear.

Tears gathered, but she shook them away. This was no time for tears. That time had passed. Now was the time for her and Alex. Holding her arms out from her sides, she said, “I’m right here. Touch me if you don’t believe it.”

Molten heat flashed across his face. He tensed, lifting his body away from the door, and began a slow stalk across the room. Cailin backed away on weak legs, stumbling blindly down the hall, dragging her hands along the walls to help guide her in the dark. But Alex she saw clearly. Fire blazed in his eyes, so hot she felt beads of sweat gathering between her breasts.

“The shirt.” His voice rumbled, vibrating along her spine. The buttons resisted her trembling efforts and concentrating as she walked backward didn’t help, but finally her shirt slid down her arms, leaving mostly bare skin to Alex’s sight. He purred his pleasure, then commanded, “Bra.”

The smile she struggled to hold back stretched her mouth wide. She couldn’t contain it, couldn’t contain the joy bursting inside. She reached behind her back, undid the clasp, and slowly shrugged her bra off, allowing the cool air access to her overwarm skin. She bumped into the hall wall.

Alex grinned too, but his smile was all teeth. “Skirt.”

One step. Two. The button gave, then the zipper. The stretchy material clung to her legs, hindering her next step, the little shimmy she gave to free it setting her breasts jiggling in a way that caused Alex to stumble. Femininity and freedom filled her as the cloth finally slid the rest of the way to her feet. Oh yes, she liked this.

The doorway to her bedroom loomed behind her. Cailin caught one edge, using it for leverage as she lifted a leg to unhook the blue shoes she still wore. Alex growled and shook his head. “Uh-uh.”

Tilting her head at his gruff command, she allowed her hand to meander its way back up her leg, drawing attention to hills, caressing valleys, beckoning the man who watched to trace the same path all the way to the vee of her thighs. Bold as brass, she stroked the strip of lace that made up the thong she wore. Moisture wet the delicate fabric.

“Touch it,” Alex said.

A single digit responded to his command. She dipped her chin to look down and sent her finger swirling in slow, titillating circles around the swollen nub of her clit, barely brushing the sensitive tip, sending her desire soaring. The act’s effect on Alex was equally explosive. He hurtled down the hallway, tackling her as he reached the doorway and carrying her across the room to land on the bed in five seconds flat. Cailin laughed as she flopped onto her back. Alex’s momentum carried him right over her; his grip on her hips pulled her into a sitting position on top of his firm lower belly.

Cailin rested her forearms on Alex’s chest, leaned down to bring them together, and kissed him. Firm lips met soft, and both parted, tongues dueling in a drugging tussle where neither needed to win. The contact was enough. Cailin put all she could into the touch, conveying her need with every thrust, her lingering pain with every nip, and, overriding it all, the elation her skin simply couldn’t contain.

“Alex.” The word hitched against his lips.

“Cailin,” he teased. A soft smile pulled his mouth away from hers. “Sit up.”

“You are overdressed,” she pointed out as she lifted her torso. Dragging her hands down his body sent a thrill up her arms as the heavy beat of his heart and the quickening of his breath were revealed. And beneath her, the heavy push of his erection nudged her backside. She wanted that solid shaft inside her, filling her up. She needed it. Now.

“So do something about it.”

Lifting up to her knees, she went to scoot backward. Alex’s hands gripped her arms.

“Oh no you don’t.”

“But—”

A long, rough finger settled against her lips. “Improvise.”

Rolling her eyes, she grabbed the waistband of his dress pants. A sharp
pop
startled her before heat flashed through her butt. “Alex! You spanked me, you…” The rest trailed off as that heat settled between her legs and cream responded in abundance.

“And there’s more where that came from,” he assured her as he rubbed the hot spot he’d smacked. “Now get a move on—without the sass.” His grin was downright wicked.

So that was the way he wanted to play it, huh? Ignoring his clothes for a moment, Cailin reached behind her, allowing the escaping tendrils of her hair to slowly filter through her fingers. One by one, she dug out the pins holding the heavy pile in place. Alex stared, his thumbs rubbing absently along her inner thighs as her mass of curls did a leisurely slide down to her shoulders. Tendrils settled over the tops of her breasts. When she tipped her head forward, long bangs hid what she was sure was a sneaky smile. Alex growled, the sound rising to a soft whine as she leaned down and took the tab of his zipper in her teeth. His shaft jumped, bumping her chin as she carefully, deliberately opened his pants.

“Cailin,” he moaned.

Fragrant heat hit her nose as the placket parted. Dipping farther, she nuzzled his shaft, his tangy, masculine scent overpowering her senses like a drug. Her core clenched. On instinct, she grabbed the tails of his dress shirt and pulled. Buttons pinged across the room. Alex arched, his fingers digging deep into her thighs. “God, yes!”

Satisfaction settled like fizz in her chest. It must have bubbled up to her expression as well, because when Alex’s gaze focused once more, he quirked a dark brow at her. “Happy?”

She feasted on the sight of his muscled chest, the trail of dark hair marching from his navel to the heavy thatch surrounding his sex, and her mouth watered. “Absolutely.”

Alex slid his hands up to grip her hips and lifted her. “Good. Hold me,” he directed. Cailin grasped his firm length in her hand, lingering, beginning a soft pump before Alex lowered her onto him. He dropped her, letting gravity pull her down until the head of his erection hit the end of her channel, and Cailin felt truly taken, deep down to her soul.

Head thrown back, all she could do was clench around him. Her body stretched and pulsed, unwillingly accommodating, enveloping him in a way that made them both groan.

When she would have started a slow ride, Alex forced her to stillness. “No. It’s my turn.”

Refusing to let her move, Alex took his time, his hands playing across her skin until she was certain she would go insane. The need to move, to rub her aching clit against him and bring herself to orgasm, rode her hard, but Alex was having none of it. He traced her veins, seeming enthralled with the blue lines underneath her skin. When those veins intersected at her nipples, he sampled the textures along her areolae. A delicate pinch to one nipple caused a spasm in her pelvis, and they both gasped at the sensation.

Then the game got serious. For every zing of sensation from Alex’s touch, Cailin would clench around him. The back-and-forth became a race to see which of them would give in and fall over the edge first. Cailin managed to hold a steady lead until Alex lowered a thumb to his mouth, wet it, and zeroed in on her clit. The sensitive nub was hard and pulsing, the slow circling of his finger creating a ring of fire that burned everything else away until all Cailin could feel was the need to explode. The tightening of her body around his must have had a similar effect on Alex, because soon he was thrusting, pounding up into her, hitting her clit with every stroke, until both of them detonated, obliterating everything but the surge of pleasure in their veins that linked them until they became one.

* * * *

It took a shower and another round of loving before either he or Cailin could relax, as if their bodies were driven by a hunger only the other’s touch could truly satisfy. Even then, Cailin lay in his arms, her pulse quiet but fingers unsteady as they trailed through the hair sprinkled across his chest. Could she feel the thump of his heartbeat, the fear that had his chest aching and his breath shallow long after his climax had receded? He tried hard to hide it, to hide the emotion surging under his skin like a tidal wave, an emotion he wouldn’t, couldn’t acknowledge without sentencing her to what could be years of pain and frustration.

Stroking the bare, supple skin of her ass, he burrowed his nose into the crook of her neck and shoulder. The words welling up escaped in a soft whisper against her throat. “You deserve so much better than me.”

Her heartbeat thumped against him. “No, I deserve you. No matter where this takes us, what happens in the future”—she palmed one firm pec, his nipple pebbling at her touch—“you’re a gift, Alex. My gift.”

And if he allowed things to progress any further, allowed his need for her to become any stronger, he might become her curse. They hadn’t given their relationship or their emotions a name. What would happen when they couldn’t avoid it any longer? He shook his head. “I can’t give you all of me, not as things stand. That’s not fair to you.”

Cailin slid her arms around his shoulders, hugging him to her. “Would you have done it differently? If you could have looked into the future and seen me, or someone like me, and known the day would come that you would…need someone this way, would you have refused to help Sara Beth?”

Turning his head, he settled against one mounded breast, drawing on her warmth. Would he have refused? No, absolutely not. Sara Beth was his to care for—she was his best friend, the only real family he still had. Marrying her had been the only solution to their immediate problem, getting Sara Beth into a position where she could prove herself, something they could never have accomplished without Alex’s promotion after their engagement. John had owned their lives then, still did to a certain extent. But as much as Alex knew he’d done the right thing, he couldn’t shake the feeling that Cailin was his to care for as well, and sometime in the very near future, he would end up failing her. Big-time.