Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission (63 page)

Read Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission Online

Authors: Gloria G. Brame,William D. Brame,Jon Jacobs

Tags: #Education & Reference, #Health; Fitness & Dieting, #Psychology & Counseling, #Sexuality, #Reference, #Self-Help, #Relationships, #Love & Romance, #Sex

BOOK: Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission
6.13Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

As with male infibulation,
female infibulation
was a type of adhesion used to enforce chastity. It was practiced in East Africa among the Somali and the Galla, as well as among some Arab tribes. In some cases the labia were sewn together and then were incised upon marriage to restore the opening. These practices survive among some Africans and Asians.

Clitoris:
This is perhaps the rarest and most difficult erotic piercing because the clitoris contains so many nerve endings. A small stud or ring through the clitoris separates the labia, slightly exposing the organ. The pain of a clitoral piercing and the vastly heightened sensitivity which results make it attractive to women who enjoy very intense stimulation.

Usually when I mention that to a woman, she crosses her legs and says, “Ooooh! That hurts!” Well, yes and no. It is very sensitive but also very sensual. Some clients were very excited, especially by the play of the ring
.

—L
OGGER
V.

Clitoral Hood:
The clitoral hood (also known as a
nun’s hood
) is the tag of protective flesh immediately above the clitoris. This piercing is gaining popularity, particularly in the lesbian community. It is both decorative and erotic.

[The] ring [is usually] a half inch in diameter with a little ball at the bottom. When the ring falls, [the ball drops] and hits the clitoris. I have [been told by] women that it is marvelous when they walk
.

—L
OGGER
V.

S
CARIFICATION
, C
UTTING, AND
B
RANDING

Scarification
(making cuts or scars, usually with a knife) and
cutting
are ancient practices with both aesthetic and ritualistic meaning. Across Africa and in Oceania, cutting was used to create ornamental patterns of keloid tissue (distinct, raised scars). In some African tribes scarring was part of a rite of passage or denoted a woman’s social or marital status. Among the Bala of Zaire, men often refused intercourse with women who lacked decorative cicatrices.

Contemporary women are more likely than men to opt for these primitivistic modifications.

Branding and cutting arc popular among young women. From years of research, I know that in other cultures women were initiated more by cuttings and scarification and branding than men were. Piercing rituals seem to be usually more male-oriented rites of passage
.

—F
AKIR
M
USAFAR

Cutting is gaining currency among lesbian D&Sers both for its erotic potential and for its ritual aspects.

Scarification techniques range from superficial scratches to deeper cuts made with a sterile scalpel. Many enthusiasts appreciate the tactile nature of scars and enjoy feeling the pattern in the dark. Some also elect to have tattoo ink rubbed into the wounds, particularly Caucasians, who are less likely to form keloid tissue than are darker-skinned peoples.

I have a cutting on my back. It’s a double outline of a heart, and inside of it is a rose. That was done with a surgical scalpel—they just cut the first couple of layers of your skin. They don’t go deep at all. Mine didn’t scar
.

—J
EAN
L.

The process of getting (and giving) a cutting requires tremendous focus and endurance.

I love the power of sitting still in a relaxed state. Your body can’t be tense when you’re getting a cutting, because if your muscle is tense, it’s easy to cut deep [or] to make a ragged cut. The flesh has to be relaxed. So the discipline of sitting still and being absolutely relaxed while pain is happening, while someone is cutting you is arousing
.

—L
AURA
A
NTONIO

Branding
is a form of cautery and was once a symbol of criminality or enslavement. Some African-American Greek fraternities and sororities have adopted the practice as a rite of passage.

Traditionally, the black brothers get their first brands on their left bicep because that’s the one closest to their hearts, but it’s not uncommon for members to get five or six brands on different parts of their bodies, including the buttocks, legs, and chest.… Even a few sororities branded women as part of the [hazing] ritual, sometimes on the inner thigh
.

—H
ANK
N
UWER
4

Branding is now gaining popularity among young people of all races. The scar is highly tactile and the designs used are often unique and personally symbolic. Body modifiers use a thin piece of metal which is heated and quickly and precisely pressed to the recipient’s skin. The sensation is extremely intense, and the ritual requires profound concentration.

Since the brand, when healed, normally expands to two or three times its initial size, expert branders use a very narrow branding iron; repeated strikes are used to shape creative patterns. Perhaps the most famous fictional account of branding occurs in
Story of O
when the heroine is branded to symbolize her ownership by the sadistic Sir Stephen.

Scarification and branding are controversial activities within the D&S communities. Even when properly done, they are profoundly painful, traumatic shocks to the body. Unwanted injury, unexpected scarring, and infection may result from either.

E
XTREMELY
E
XTREME
M
ODIFICATIONS

Thousands of extreme body modifications have been documented worldwide. One extremely rare but still practiced self-mutilation was recorded by Magnus Hirschfeld: A shepherd made repeated incisions to his glans, succeeding in bifurcating his penis.
5
This practice—known as
subincision
—was once found uniquely among peoples who lived in proximity to marsupials, which naturally possess forked penises. Australian Aborigines allegedly practiced subincision in hopes of gaining the kangaroo’s enviable sexual stamina.

Variations on the theme of self-mutilation are virtually endless. Although self-inflicted mutilations, and even the fairly well-known fantasy of male castration, are clinically classified as masochism, most consensual D&Sers consider these practices to violate the tenets of safe and sane activity.

I
NTERVIEWS

F
AKIR
M
USAFAR

The kinds and variety of body piercings have become prolific. I did commercial piercings in a well-known piercing establishment for a year here. I would ask people: Why are you getting your nipple pierced? Or, why are you getting your genitals pierced? Or, why are you getting your navel pierced? I [usually] got answers that were extremely clear and well thought-out, with very powerful emotional and psychic reasons. Very often the piercing represented a personal rite of passage. It meant that they had left one phase of life or that they had intentions of starting life over. In some other cultures there are tales of piercing the body to let things out or to let things in. You’re making an opening in the physical body but also in the psychic body that coexists with the physical body, so one must be very careful. It should be done with great care and understanding and great respect for the spirit that lives in the body.

[There] has [also] been renewed [interest in] cutting. This is making magic symbols, patterns, or meaningful marks on the body by cutting the [skin] with a sharp object, like a scalpel. We have some people who are very good at this, very shamanic about the way they do this, so that some kind of ritual magic is performed by cutting.

I’ve been doing a
lot
of branding this year. I have been doing brands with multiple strikes. I make complex designs and symbols—which are not easy to do with a brand—by using repeated burns of different-sized pieces. We’ve made endless chains to represent continuity in life and a continuity that’s lacking in life, as part of a ritual. I’ve made large snakes that had as many as 24 to 36 different burns that took 30 to 50 minutes to put in. When done, the pattern is much more subtle than [a tattoo]. It is not as dark [or] as distinct; if done properly, it has the same characteristics of cutting or scarification. A well-made branding will be raised and three-dimensional. It will be something that you can see in the dark. It will be tactile as well as visual.

In my 40 years of experience [in] piercing myself and other people, remarkable things [have] happened. Some people have had transformations, both personal and extending out wider into tribe and family affairs.

L
OGGER
V
.

One important thing [is] the concept of belonging. We all need to belong somehow. Through piercing, through S&M, we belong. We lose race, color,
gender. There is nothing there except what we want and what we want to do, and in that sense, we belong. That’s important to me, and I think it’s important to a lot of people. We don’t have heterosexual [or] gay: We [all] belong to one group of people who enjoy being who they want to be. There are no limits. We are all in the same family.

I’m a gay Puerto Rican male. I don’t like to use the term
top
, but [I] play top and get into a bondage, fatherly scene. I don’t consider myself handsome; other people do. But we always look at ourselves differently. A lot of people, especially in the gay community, have heard from others [that] I’m “a hot daddy to get pierced by.”

Piercing is something that has to come from the heart, not from the brain, not because someone told you [to do it], or just because everyone else has it. I developed fantasies in my 30s when I began to see that other people had fantasies. My fantasy was to help them fulfill theirs. But as a child, I [had no] fantasies. I guess that has to do with my own situation as a child—[I was] molested sexually. I always was afraid of certain things. As a matter of fact, I find it sometimes very awkward to get tied down or be submissive. When I
do
allow myself to do it, I enjoy it very much. But I have to allow myself to do it.

I pierce anything and everything! I kid [that] if I ever started a shop, I would call it From Clits to Tits. I have done just about every piercing there is: eyebrows, clits, clit hoods; men and women; gay and straight. Having been married, having had children, and having gone from being a straight male to a gay male, it’s just never bothered me.

I do a prescreening, which is
very
important to me and to the [clients]. I never lie to anyone and say that it’s not going to hurt. I ask what kind of piercings they’ve had before [and] if they’ve had any problems. I ask what they’re interested in and what jewelry they want. I show them pictures or talk to them about what they would like and give them some ideas. Jewelry is very personal. I never force people to use a certain kind of jewelry.

I always ask people if they are over 21. I want to make sure that the person knows exactly what he’s doing. There’s a statement I [always] read: “Do you understand that no piercing will be done if you are under the influence of alcohol or drugs?” This is something that I hold very dear. I don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs. I don’t care if other people do, but when you come here for a piercing, I want you to
know
what you’re doing.

I need to know that the person has no [physical] problems. I always ask if they have epilepsy or diabetes. I have to know if they have hepatitis or HIV or AIDS, and if they’re on any medication. I am very careful. All my tools are sterilized. I have two autoclaves. Sterile conditions are very important. With a piercing, cleanliness is more important than anything. If you don’t
keep it clean, I always guarantee a problem. I always give [people] a sheet of paper that lists everything they should know and do.

I also have a disclaimer that I ask everyone to sign, [stating] that this is done willingly and that I will not be held responsible for anything that goes wrong afterwards. I guarantee their safety when they’re here, but once they’re gone, all I offer is help and assistance. I recommend a warm saltwater solution for cleaning, the old-fashioned remedy. I ask everyone to call me before doing anything drastic, like removing a body piercing. I [also] ask if the area to be pierced is under extreme punishment and activity. Some people laugh at that question, especially if they want a Prince Albert. They say, “No, not enough!” And I say, “Oh you poor baby!” In one woman’s case, I asked, “Is [the clitoris] under a lot of activity?” and she answered, “Not usually.”

Other books

The Woman by David Bishop
Temple of the Jaguar by James, Aiden, Rain, J.R.
Mine Is the Night by Liz Curtis Higgs
Home to Big Stone Gap by Adriana Trigiani
The Sportswriter by Ford, Richard
The Best for Last by Maria Geraci
While My Pretty One Sleeps by Mary Higgins Clark
Anything Can Happen by Roger Rosenblatt