Diary of a Nerd King #2: The Complete 2nd Season - Episodes 1 to 8 (18 page)

So anyways, I had an epiphany in GLEE club today (see… I used it again.  Too bad Mrs. Fizzerwinch will never see it!). 

I was pretty nervous as it got closer to my time to sing since we were all practising solos today.  When it came time for me to sing, I figured I was probably going to just imagine myself as a girl again, and sing wicked awesome like I did last time.

I mean, don’t get me wrong.  I didn’t really want to imagine myself as a girl, but I also didn’t want to embarrass myself singing in front of everybody, and the whole imagining myself singing as a girl worked pretty well last time, so I just figured that’s what I’d do. 

Really, it wasn’t like I consciously did it on purpose last time.  I didn’t say to myself, “Max, you’re going to imagine you’re a girl that sings awesome like the one in your dream,” and then poof, I could magically sing awesome. 

It wasn’t like that at all.  It just happened, out of the blue, all of a sudden, out of nowhere.  One minute I was terrified of singing, and the next I was singing wicked awesome by picturing myself as the girl version of me from my dream.

Today was MUCH better though.  Maybe my subconscious had been working on the whole girl thing so that I didn’t have to feel embarrassed about it.  I don’t know for sure, but when it came time for me to sing today, I didn’t picture myself as the girl version of me from my dream, and I still sang wicked awesome!

I was Justin Bieber! 

I don’t know if it’s because of the whole Justin Bieber half-brother thing, or what, but it happened pretty much the same way as the girl thing did.

One minute I was nervous about having to sing, then it was my turn, and all of a sudden I was Justin Bieber, singing wicked awesome, and blowing everybody in GLEE club away! 

I have to say, it felt much better singing as Justin Bieber than it did singing as a girl.  I mean, it would still be a little embarrassing if people found out I was imagining I was Justin Bieber when I sang, but NOWHERE near as embarrassing as it would be if they found out I was imagining I was a girl!!!

And there was an added bonus too.  It seemed like Jordan was even more impressed with my singing than she was before!

I think I’m going to have to practice this whole singing thing, and I’m going to work on doing it as Justin Bieber, not as the girl version of me.  It’s totally way more cool to be Justin than it is to be a girl. 

Who knows?  Maybe I’ll even become a famous singer like the Biebs!

P.S.  Here’s a couple jokes we’re thinking about using in our next YouTube video.  I’m writing them down here so I don’t forget them.

Why did Tigger look inside the toilet?  He was looking for Pooh!

What did Obi-Wan say to Luke at dinner time?  May the forks be with you!

Why was the nose sad?  Because he did not get picked!

“Rat Milk, Uranus, and The Snake Dudes”

Season 2 – Episode 208

Written and Illustrated by

Matt Ballard

© Copyright Matt Ballard 2012

All rights reserved.

http://www.diaryofanerdking.com

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Friday

At lunch today, the milk I got with my hot dog and french fries tasted really funny.  Not funny ha ha, but funny as in makes-your-stomach-do-flip-flops.

I only took one drink of it, but unfortunately it was a big long swig.  I was really thirsty, so the first thing I did when Boogie and I sat down at our table, was to open my milk and take a big, long pull on it. 

I know what you’re thinking.  Why would I take a huge drink if it tasted funny? 

Well, you know how it is when you’re thirsty, you grab a drink, and start gulping it down to quench your thirst.  You’re drinking so fast, and you’re just concentrating on relieving your thirst. 

You don’t really taste it until you’re practically finished the drink, which is exactly what happened to me.

Of course, by that time, I was already feeling like the milk was going to come back up, and I was starting to look around to see what was the safest direction to release an atomic size spray of regurgitated, funny tasting milk. 

Luckily, I didn’t throw up after all, because there really wasn’t any safe directions available.  I would’ve either had to launch my funny tasting milk attack in Boogie’s direction, or to the right which would’ve hit a table full of girls, who just happened to be fairly popular girls, which would’ve made soaking them in thrown up milk even more disastrous than if they were just regular girls. 

Behind me wasn’t an option either.  That would’ve meant soaking a  whole table full of jocks and sports guys, which would’ve basically meant the end of my life about 20 seconds after they realized who’d done it.

(The jocks should all just wear T-shirts with the Skull and Crossbones on them because, basically, if you mess with them, you’re dead!)

It was a pretty full cafeteria, and there really weren’t any safe directions to be releasing a shower of thrown-up milk in.  Like I said, I was lucky I didn’t end up throwing up after all.

Once I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to throw up, I sat there feeling a little queasy, uncertain of what to do next.