Diane Warner's Wedding Question & Answer (21 page)

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Authors: Diane Warner

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Page 155
Chapter 17
The Flowers
Can you give me an idea of what a florist charges for an average-priced wedding?
It depends on where you live. The metropolitan areas of California and the northeastern states are the highest, while the central mountain states are the lowest. The nationwide average is about $750, based on a florist's standard "wedding package," which includes the "basics," such as:
One bridal bouquet.
Four bridal attendants' bouquets.
Six corsages for mothers and grandmothers.
Twelve boutonnieres.
Two altar arrangements.
Flower-girl basket.
You'll probably need a more complete package than this, though, one that includes flowers for the reception and
 
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wedding cake, extra corsages and boutonnieres, plus any special treatments, such as a decorated bird bath or stairway banister. The national average for
all
floral needs is approximately $2,000.
What percentage of the total wedding budget is spent on the flowers?
Usually 8 to 12 percent.
I'd like to talk to several florists before hiring one to do our wedding. Are florists offended by this?
If they are true professionals, they shouldn't be. You should feel free to walk into any florist shop in town and ask to see photographs of floral arrangements and bouquets they have created for other weddings they have done; and they should be willing to offer several written wedding plans that vary in total cost and content. Every florist will give you something new and interesting to consider, as well, especially if they have decorated ceremony or reception sites for other weddings. By the time you make your decision, you should feel very confident about your choice. One word of advice: Don't ever trust a florist who says, "Don't worry about anything, just leave it all up to me."
What are some ways we can cut down on the total cost of the flowers?
You can use fresh flowers and greenery from your own gardens or those of your friends and family; you can use existing decorations, shared from a previous wedding, or already in place because of the season; you can use silk flowers to make up all the corsages, boutonnieres, and bouquets in advance, plus silk ficus and other flowering plants to decorate the ceremony and reception sites; you can order fresh flowers directly from the wholesale market and assemble a
 
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talented crew of volunteers to do magic with them the day before the wedding; you can order your flowers through a supermarket's floral department; you can purchase (at a very low cost) armloads of peach, apple, or cherry blossoms directly from orchard owners; or, finally, you can rent the bulk of the flowers from a wedding supply store. Some brides I know combine several of these ideas, using donated talent and flowers, renting a few showpieces, and then purchasing only the bridal bouquet and the two mothers' corsages from a retail florist.
Is it possible for some of the flowers to serve double-duty at the ceremony and reception?
Yes, there are a number of ways you can tactfully and tastefully reuse your flowers. Here are a few:
Have the ushers quietly carry any floral arrangements, silk or fresh potted plants or trees from the ceremony site to the reception site, using them on the buffet table, cake table, at the corners of the stage, "framing" the bride and groom as they stand under an arch during the reception, or placed randomly around the reception hall.
Design the pew markers so they can double as centerpieces on the tables at the reception.
Transfer any evergreen or floral garlands from the ceremony site to the reception hall to drape over doorways or windows or along the buffet serving table.
Use the bride's and bridesmaids' bouquets to form a mound of flowers along the front of the bride's table or to encircle the wedding cake on the cake table.
 
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What size bouquet should I carry? Is there a rule of thumb?
Yes. If you are tall, carry a cascading bouquet; if you're short, carry a smaller one. Also, take your gown into consideration. If it has a lot going on in the way of busy detail, you'll need a simple bouquet that doesn't "fight" with the dress; on the other hand, if your gown is unadorned, with simple, flowing lines, you'll need a more complicated, busier bouquet.
Unfortunately, we need to decorate a huge sanctuary for the ceremony. Any suggestions?
First of all, if money is a problem, you can use free-cut flowering shrubs to fill large wicker baskets. Lilacs work very well, if your wedding happens to be in the spring. Also, remember that it is smart to use white flowers, especially for an evening wedding; they stand out and look larger and brighter than colored flowers. Be sure to embellish the flowers with yards and yards of wide white ribbon, as well. If the ceiling is high, as I imagine your sanctuary's to be, use tall altar flowerswhite, of course. My only other suggestion is to drape garlands of greenery and wide white ribbon everywhere possible: along the altar, over the doorways and window frames, from column to column and from pew to pew. This will help tie it all together, and for very little money.
What is a "pull-away boutonniere"?
It is a boutonniere that is concealed inside the bride's bouquet. After the bride is given away by her father at the altar, she removes this pull-away boutonniere and pins it to her groom's lapel as a symbol of her love for him. This can be a touching addition to the ceremony.
 
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What determines the cost of the bride's bouquet?
Here are a few of the factors:
The ratio of flowers to fillers; the more flowers, the more expensive.
The price of the flowers you select. If you have your heart set on flowers that are out of season or hothouse grown, the cost will go up.
How the flowers are arranged and whether they are individually wired.
The overall size of the bouquet; the longer and wider, the more expensive.
If you have a talented amateur florist in your family, you can order all the "ingredients" and have your fresh-flower bouquet made up for about 20 percent of the cost of ordering it through a retail florist. Or one popular idea is to make up the bouquet ahead of time with silk flowers at a similar savings; not only will you avoid last-minute anxieties of working with fresh flowers, but you'll have a treasured momento of your wedding that will stay "fresh" for all the years to come.
What are some alternatives to the traditional bridal bouquet?
You can carry a simple tussy mussy bouquet, a hand-tied arm bouquet of loose fresh flowers, a decorated Bible or prayer book, or a lacy white fan decorated with a few silk or fresh flowers.
Lisa Kudrow, one of the stars of the hit television show
Friends
, had a novel idea for her bridal bouquet: She asked her close friends and family members to each bring a different long-stemmed flower hand-selected for her bouquet. The open stems of the eclectic bouquet were tied with a single white satin ribbon, creating a uniquely special, meaningful
 
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loose arm arrangement that not only suited the informality of the wedding itself, but the bride's personality as well.
What about my bridal attendants? Are there some clever alternatives for them?
They can carry decorated heart-shaped wreaths, decorated candy canes (really darling for a Christmas wedding, of course), decorated white rabbit's fur muffs, simple sheaves of wheat tied with single ribbons, single candles in beds of flowers, decorated lace parasols, or single long-stemmed flowers, each tied with a simple ribbon. If this last idea sounds awfully chintzy, you should know that bridesmaids all over Hollywood are going with the single flower idea. When Teresa Blake (star on
All My Children
) married Mike McGuide (the drummer for the country band Shenandoah), her bridesmaids carried a single white long-stemmed lily, tied with a cluster of trailing white satin ribbons, which were outstanding up against the royal blue of their gowns. When Valerie Bertinelli married Eddie Van Halen, Valerie's bridesmaids carried a single red rose, tied with red and white ribbons, which stood out brilliantly against the women's all-white bridesmaids' gowns. And then there was Wayne Newton's wedding to Kathleen McCrone, where I'm sure money was no object, and yet the bridesmaids (dressed in dramatic black, floor-length gowns) carried simple arm bouquets of a half-dozen white lilies. The point I'm trying to make here is that ''less" isn't necessarily synonymous with "cheap." Less can actually be tastefully elegant if it's presented correctly.
Should our mothers' corsages be the same or different according to what they are wearing?
If either mother requests a certain flower or color, be sure to honor her wishes; if the mothers are leaving the
 
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decision up to you, however, be
sure
to order identical corsages to avoid any hard feelings.
How soon do I need to book the florist?
As soon as you become engaged, start shopping for a florist. Once you've made your selection, book him or her for your wedding date. However, your actual choice of corsages, bouquets, boutonnieres and decorative arrangements can be made two or three months before the wedding; this will give the florist plenty of time to place any necessary special orders. Most florists book only one or two weddings per weekend, so it's important to be placed on his or her calendarthe detailed order itself can wait.
What is your best word of advice regarding florists?
Stay away from any florist who says, "We'll do whatever you wantjust tell us what you have in mind." What you want instead is a florist who is also an
artist
one who will give
you
ideas and then work with you.
 
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Chapter 18
The Music
What are some of the traditional selections played during the ceremony?
Here is a list of some of the most popular selections; however, it should be noted that, unless the ceremony site has restrictions, brides are mixing popular selections with the traditional.
The Bridal Chorus
from
Lohengrin
by Wagner ("Here Comes the Bride").
Wedding March
by Mendelssohn (for the recessional).
Ave Maria
by Schubert.
In Thee is Joy
by Bach.
Trumpet VoluntaryPrince of Denmark's March
by Clarke.
Canon in D
by Pachelbel.
 
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Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring
by Bach.
The King of Love My Shepherd Is
by Hinsworth.
Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee
by Beethoven.
Biblical Songs
by Dvorak.
The Lord's Prayer
by Malotte.
Liebestraum
by Liszt.
What are some of the more popular selections to choose from?
Follow Me
by John Denver.
Can You Feel the Love Tonight?
by Elton John and Tim Rice.
We've Only Just Begun
, music by Roger Nichols and lyrics by Paul Williams.
Hawaiian Wedding Song
by Al Hoffman and Dick Manning.
Wind Beneath My Wings
by Jeff Silbar and Larry Henley.
Do You Remember?
by J. Ivanovici.
Morning Has Broken
by Eleanor Farjeon.
If I Didn't Have You in My World
by Vince Gill.
Everyday of My Life
by Aaron Neville.
What I Did for Love
by Marvin Hamlisch.
All I Ask of You
from "The Phantom of the Opera" by Webber, Hart, and Stiltoe.
Sunrise, Sunset
from "Fiddler on the Roof" by Sheldon Harnick and Jerry Bock.

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