Devoured: Brides of the Kindred 11 (26 page)

Garron held his tongue, but with
difficulty. He squeezed her fingers briefly and Tess glanced at him again.

“It wasn’t like that,” she said quickly.
“It wasn’t rough or anything. It was just…one of my duties. My wifely duties.”
She gave that unhappy laugh again. “It didn’t matter how I felt about it—if I
was in the mood or not—if I was sick. None of that made a difference. Every
night it was the same thing—quarter past nine, time to fuck. Time for
Pierce
to fuck, anyway. I was supposed
to lie there and look at the ceiling and not move or make a sound. I was just a
receptacle—just a way for him to get off.”

Garron couldn’t be silent anymore. “But
that’s—”

“Wrong? Selfish? Mean? Yeah, all of the
above.” Tess sighed. “But that’s the way it was with him.”

“But it’s stupid,” Garron growled. “Why
should he be allowed to enjoy the act and not you?”

“Because, according to Pierce, even though
a dutiful wife gives it up for her husband every night, only a slut or a whore
would actually
enjoy
it.” She looked
down at her hands. “Pierce got so
angry
if
I showed any kind of pleasure at all. Not that it was very pleasurable, lying
there getting nailed to the mattress every night but still, I wasn’t allowed to
show any emotion. If I did, he…” She cleared her throat and looked away. “He
‘punished’ me.”

“He hit you,” Garron said flatly. “Beat
you.” It made sense now—the fear he smelled on her whenever she got aroused.
After years of being subject to such abuse, she had doubtless come to associate
any outward display of desire or sexual interest with swift and immediate pain.

Tess nodded briefly. “Right. But anyway,
we’re getting off the subject.”

Garron squeezed her hand again, trying to
keep his face calm though inside he was angry for her—so
angry
. The Kindred believed in worshiping a female’s body—in giving
pleasure, not just taking it. To every Kindred warrior his mate was a
representation of the Goddess—someone to be revered and cherished. And even on
his home planet, where touching and holding were forbidden on a day-to-day
basis, expressions of love were at least permitted during mating.

It sounded to him like Tess had gotten
nothing from her ex-mate—no affection, no pleasure—nothing but pain. Gods, how
he wanted to make that male pay…but Tess was talking again and he didn’t want
to miss anything she had to say.

“Of course, I got pregnant,” she went on in
that same, dry, emotionless voice. “How could I not since he did it to me every
night? He didn’t notice at first and I was afraid to tell him. Eventually,
though, I started to show…”

Her free hand crept unconsciously to her
belly and Garron remembered that had been where she was holding herself when
she first woke up crying from the nightmare. He began to have a terrible
idea…an inkling of what she was going to tell him. He hoped he was wrong but…

“Tess,” he said in a low voice. “If you
don’t want to tell this now…”

“I’m all right.” She looked up at him, her
eyes suspiciously bright. “I’ll go on unless you’d rather I stopped.”

Garron looked into her eyes—large, dark,
pools of pain—and knew she needed to speak. That she had to get it out—no
matter how hard it was for her to tell or for him to hear.

“Go on,” he said gravely. “I wish to hear
whatever you would tell. I won’t interrupt you again.”

“Thank you.” She looked away but squeezed
his fingers tightly. “When I finally told him—told Pierce I was…” She swallowed
hard. “That I was expecting, he went crazy with jealousy. He had this idea that
the baby wasn’t his even though there was no way it couldn’t be. He literally
controlled
every aspect
of my life.
Even if I had wanted to cheat—which I didn’t—there were absolutely
no
opportunities. No way for the baby to
be anyone else’s but his.”

“But he wouldn’t believe you,” Garron said
softly.

She shook her head. “No. He wouldn’t
believe me. He got angrier and angrier and then he…he…” The hand at her belly
curled into a fist. “He punched me.
Here.”

Garron felt his heart thump painfully at
the broken sound in her voice. She couldn’t maintain the distance between
herself and the painful memory—that much was clear. A single tear slipped down
her cheek and she brushed it away with trembling fingers.

“Tess…” he whispered, his voice hoarse
with emotion. His eyes were stinging and his chest felt tight. He longed to
comfort her but he didn’t know if she would let him.

“I lost it, of course. I never…never even
knew if it as a boy or a…a girl,” she whispered. Another tear slipped down her
cheek and this time she let it go.

“Tess,” he murmured again, unable to say
anything else. He couldn’t help himself any longer—he pulled her to him,
pressing his face into her hair to breathe her in. He was afraid she would push
him away but after a moment, she hugged him back. The scent of her grief—bitter
and slightly sweet, like funeral flowers, filled the air. “I’m sorry,” he
whispered against her neck. “So sorry. If only there was something I could do.”

“There’s nothing. It’s over.” She pulled
back from him and blotted her tears on the back of her hand. “At least it gave
me the courage to leave him for good.”

“And then I sent you right back to him.
Sent you back to that son of a bitch. That…” Garron shook his head, unable to
finish. He couldn’t find words strong enough to express his rage against the
male who had hurt her so horribly.

“Garron, honey, please don’t think like
that. I told you I didn’t blame you for anything and anyway, you
healed
me.”

“But I should have been with you before.”
He scrubbed a hand over his face fiercely. “Why wasn’t I? Why didn’t I start
dreaming of you when you needed me? Why couldn’t I save you?”

He tried to keep his face blank, his voice
under control but inside he was seething.
Enraged.
He couldn’t turn back the clock but at least he could avenge her pain—take
vengeance for her loss. He wanted to punish the bastard who had put that broken
look on her face, who had hurt her so badly for so long.

Inside him the
dr’gin,
which had been dozing contentedly after their encounter
earlier, now woke with a roar. It agreed with Garron—vengeance must be had! It
was ready to come out
right now
and
do whatever had to be done.

Careful!
whispered the rational part of his brain
in a voice that was growing fainter by the minute.
Pierce isn’t here for you to punish. If you change now, if you let the
dr’gin out, you’ll only kill the very female you want to avenge.

But the voice of reason was
faint…unimportant. The
dr’gin
roared
within him again, insisting that it
had
to
come out!

No!
No—back! Down!
Garron thought at it
fiercely. He took a deep breath and then another and another, trying to push
back the rage and sorrow Tess’s story stirred in him. Control—he had to regain
control!

Suddenly he felt her small hand stroking
his arm.

“Garron—honey? Are you okay?” Her voice
sounded really worried.

“I am…” The words came out in an
animalistic growl and he had to clear his throat and try again. “I am fine,” he
assured her, though it wasn’t really true.

She frowned. “You sure don’t
look
fine. Your eyes are glowing like
search lights and you’re breathing like you just ran a marathon.”

“Forgive me.” Garron put his head in his
hands and took more deep breaths, his chest heaving. “It’s just…your story made
me so sad and so…so
angry.
The other
inside me—my
dr’gin—
wants to come out
and rip that abusive bastard apart. I’m trying to tell it that he’s not
here—that there’s nothing we can do right now—but it’s not…not listening.”

“I heard you tell your brother this
morning that your
dr’gin
uh, liked
me,” she said in a soft voice.

Garron nodded. “It does seem to—it
certainly feels very protective of you. As do I. But…” He glanced at her
briefly. “But I do not think that would stop it from harming you if I allowed
it to come out. I cannot take that risk.”

“But—”

He stood up abruptly and stepped away from
the bed. “Excuse me. I need to go outside. If I can’t…can’t hold it back, then
I need to be as far from you as possible when I transform.”

“No, wait!” To his surprise, Tess jumped
up and threw her arms around his neck. “Don’t go,” she pleaded. “We backed it
down before—we can do it again!”

“I shouldn’t…shouldn’t take the risk,”
Garron protested. But already he could feel his blood burning a bit less, just
because her arms were around him and she was touching his skin.

“It’s not a risk,” she insisted. “Let me
help you, Garron.
I’m
the one who
made you so upset, so I should be the one to help calm you down.”

Her offer was tempting—damn near
impossible to refuse—but Garron didn’t want to force her into doing anything
she didn’t want to do.

“No,” he said gently, trying to pull her
arms from around his neck. “I can’t ask you to do anything like…what you did
earlier just to appease my other. It’s not your duty to help me or service me
in any way for any reason.” He would be damned if he’d treat her like Pierce
had, even if the alternative meant leaving the cabin to let his
dr’gin
out and possibly never regaining
his other form again.

“I don’t see it like that,” she protested,
refusing to be pushed away. “It’s something I want to do. I want to…to help
you.” Suddenly, she pressed her mouth to his in a kiss so unexpected and so
passionate, it took his breath away.

Garron hardly knew what to do at first but
then he couldn’t help reacting—couldn’t help kissing her back. Her lips were so
soft…so sweet and the body pressed against his was so lush and curvy. He felt
an instant rush of blood to his cock and he couldn’t stop himself from crushing
her to him and running his hands up and down her luscious curves. Gods, she
felt so perfect in his arms…so
right.

Yet even as he kissed her back, he tasted
salt on her lips—the remains of her tears. Slowly, he pulled away.

“I can’t, Tess,” he muttered hoarsely. “I can’t—not
after what you’ve been through tonight. Not after what you told me. I’d want…”
He looked away, unable to meet her eyes. “I’d want more than before. I’d want
to touch…not just be touched. And I don’t want you to fear me.”

“I won’t,” she whispered. “And I can do
this as long… as long as I’m
helping
you. I…” She shook her head. “I can’t explain it any better than that, I’m
sorry. I know it doesn’t make sense.”

It did, though—in a convoluted way.

“I think I understand,” he murmured. “As
long as what we’re doing is necessary—not just for pleasure—”

“Exactly.” She nodded, looking relieved.
“You
do
understand.”

Garron did. She wanted this—wanted it as
much as he did—but she was
afraid
to
want it. Unless she was doing something to help him—fulfilling a duty, as it
were. If that was the case, then she could relax—could tell herself that any
pleasure she got from anything she did, or had done to her, wasn’t her fault.

It was a strange, twisted, round-about way
of thinking but having grown up in a family where abuse was a daily occurrence,
he understood it. He was familiar with the justifications, the inner
monologues, the guilt and secrecy and lying—even to yourself—just to make
getting by a little bit easier. It might have seemed strange to an outsider but
if this was what Tess needed to make physical love between them work for her,
he was more than willing to give it.

Still, he wanted to be absolutely certain.

“Tess,” he murmured softly, cupping her
cheek. “Are you sure? After what you just told me…the pain you just relived…”

“That’s what
makes
me certain.” She brushed away a tear and looked at him
determinedly. “I want to help you, Garron. I
need
to help you. But maybe…maybe you could help me too. Help me
forget. Or at least, put it out of my mind.”

That decided him completely. Tomorrow he
would have to find another way. His name day was coming closer and the danger
was growing. But for tonight, he would let her help him tame his inner beast.

“Tess,” he said softly, searching her
eyes.
“Lin’del…
I need you. Will you
help me?”

“Yes,” she whispered, tilting her face up
towards his. “Yes, please.”

Garron felt a low growl of possession and
need rising in his throat at her willingness. He buried one hand in her hair,
pulled her close, and kissed her again.

Chapter
Twenty-five

He
needs me…he needs my help. I have to help him,
Tess told herself as she gave in to the sweet feeling of
his mouth covering hers. The justification helped. As long as she wasn’t just doing
this for pleasure, she was able to relax and enjoy it. After all, she had to
help Garron control his other—his
dr’gin—
and
if touching and kissing him was the only way to do it, how could she help that?
It wasn’t her fault that it felt good, was it? No, she told herself firmly, it
wasn’t. So it was okay to let go and feel the incredibly intense sensations of
Garron’s big, hard body against her own.

As though he had read her mind, the big
Kindred moved them back to the bed.

“Is this all right?” he murmured as he lay
down beside her.

“More than all right,” Tess assured him.

“I want to hold you again.
Body-to-body…face-to-face,” he murmured. “With nothing between us.”

Tess bit her lip. “I…all right. I’ll
just…” She started to reach for the front clasp of her bra but he stopped her.

“Let me.”

Feeling nervous, Tess lay back and let him
unfasten the front hook of her bra. He peeled it back slowly, revealing her
breasts.

“Gods…” His voice was hoarse. “You’re so
beautiful. I love your full breasts.”

“Th-thank you,” Tess stuttered. He had
seen her before—had healed her by sucking her nipple—but laying there bare and
exposed for that intense, glowing gaze still made her nervous. How much were
they going to do tonight? How far were they going to go? Some of the confidence
she’d been feeling earlier leaked away. Was she ready for this? Would she
ever
be ready for this?

Garron moved down and she was certain he
was going to start kissing and licking her breasts. Instead, he pressed his
cheek to her chest and wrapped his arms around her waist—holding her close.

For a moment she was frozen. Then,
hesitantly, she began to run her hands through his hair. This seemed to be
their special embrace and she liked the way it made her feel cherished and safe
at the same time. If only she could stop wondering exactly what she had let
herself in for, she might even be able to catch her breath and stop being so
nervous.

“I love to hold you like this,” Garron
murmured, his breath hot against the sensitive valley between her breasts. “I like
the sound of your heart in my ear.” He pressed closer and seemed to be
listening for a long moment. Then he looked up at her, frowning. “But it’s
pounding so
hard
. Are you all right,
Tess? Do you still fear me?”

Tess bit her lip. “Not
you
, exactly. I’m just not…sure what
we’re going to do. Um, how far we’re going to go.”

“How far do you want to go?” he asked
gently. “I don’t want to do anything that frightens you.”

“I…” Tess wasn’t sure what to say. How
could she tell him that
everything
seemed
frightening right now?

“You’re still upset from your dream and
from everything you told me,” he murmured, stroking her back. “For tonight, let
me just hold you…and touch you. Let me bring you pleasure the way you brought
me pleasure.” He looked into her eyes. “Would that be all right?”

“And you wouldn’t mind if we didn’t…you
know? Have sex?”

“That isn’t my main objective, Tess,” he
murmured.
“You
are.” He cupped her
breast and placed a soft, hot kiss just to one side of her nipple. The tender
gesture sent a thrill through her.

“Oh, Garron…” She ran her hands through
his hair again and he nuzzled against her.

“I want to suck your breasts again,
lin’del.
Want to take your nipples
between my lips and suck them until I make you moan.”

Tess bit her lip again. “But I can’t…I
don’t, uh, make noises during…when I…”

“You did last night when I healed you,” he
murmured. He kissed her again, this time a hot, open-mouth kiss directly on her
nipple.

“I…I did?” She vaguely remembered making some
soft noises that she had tried desperately to stifle. Pierce would have been
enraged to hear her make any noises of pleasure at all.

“Mmm-hmm. I’ve never heard anything so
lovely. I’d like to hear it again.” Garron sucked her nipple completely into his
mouth and circled it slowly with the hot, wet tip of his tongue.

“Ohhh…” Tess couldn’t help the soft little
moan which fell from between her lips.

Garron looked up at her, his eyes
half-lidded with lust. Slowly, he released her nipple.

“Just like that,
lin’del.
Love to hear your pleasure.”

“I…” Tess felt uncertain. “I just…it’s
hard. After years of trying to always be quiet. To never make a sound…”

“I
want
to hear you moan,” he growled softly. “But maybe I should give you something to
moan about.”

He captured her other nipple between his
lips, sucking hard until electrical tingles of pleasure ran from her tight
peaks straight to the spot between her thighs. Tess moaned again—she couldn’t
help it. But at the same time, she felt his big hand traveling down her rib
cage to her belly. And from there, it came to rest over her pussy mound.

“Garron?” she whispered breathlessly as he
cupped her. His fingers were still on the outside of the pink silk panties she
wore but she could feel their heat clearly through the thin fabric.

“Can I touch you here, Tess?” he murmured,
looking into her eyes. “Can I try to make you moan?”

“I…” Guilt and fear rose in her and she
had to ask. “Do…do you
need
to?”

He nodded slowly, clearly understanding
her hunger for absolution.

“I
need
to. Need to slide my fingers into your panties and feel your soft little cunt
in the center of my palm. Can you let me do that, Tess?”

“I…”
He
needs it! Needs help to control his dr’gin,
she told herself. Finally, she
felt the knot of tension and guilt in the pit of her stomach begin to loosen.

“Yes,” she whispered at last. “Yes,
Garron—please.”

He didn’t answer with words. Instead he
slid his fingers beneath the waistband of her panties and let them trail down
to cover her pussy.

Tess could feel his hand cupped around her
but there was a cushion of air where his palm should have been touching her
flesh. He was keeping his hand there, hovering just about a half an inch above
her. Enough that she could feel the heat of his palm and fingers, but couldn’t
quite feel his touch.

“Garron?” she asked uncertainly, looking
up at him. “What…what are you doing?”

“Waiting,” he murmured, looking into her
eyes. “Waiting until you’re ready.”

Tess wasn’t sure what to say about that.
“Until I’m ready? But how…how will you know?”

“I’ll know,” he murmured. Then he ducked
his head and sucked her nipple into his mouth again, lashing it with the tip of
his tongue until Tess thought she might go insane.

Another soft moan came from between her
lips as he switched nipples and began the sweet, unbearable torture on the
other side as well. God, Pierce had never done anything like this for her! He’d
had zero interest in foreplay, preferring as he said, to get to the “main event.”
At most, he might pinch or twist her nipples if he was feeling especially horny
but the rough way he did it hurt too much to get her in the mood.

Now Garron was sucking and licking her
sensitive peaks as though they were delicious, succulent treasures he couldn’t
get enough of. He growled softly with need as he tended to her, laving her
nipples with his tongue one minute and sucking them as deeply into his hot
mouth as he could the next.

Tess moaned again and, almost without
knowing it, began moving her hips. It was just a few, shallow thrusts as she
pressed her breasts up to his mouth, offering herself to him, but it was much
more than she had ever dared to do with Pierce. She knew she shouldn’t do
it—the little voice inside her whispered that it was dangerous to move,
dangerous to make any sign that she liked this. But again, somehow she just
couldn’t help herself.

Then Garron sucked hard on her right peak
and nipped it very gently, sending an electrical tingle of pleasure all through
her. Tess gasped and her hips bucked up…placing her pussy in direct contact
with his hand at last.

The big Kindred released her nipple and
nestled her pussy mound more firmly into his big, warm palm.

“I told you I’d know when you were ready,”
he murmured in her ear. “So are you, Tess? Are you ready for me to spread your
pussy open and explore your sweet inner folds?”

“I…” She wasn’t sure what to say. She
wanted him to touch her, wanted to give in to the desire that threatened to burn
through her like a wildfire out of control. But it was still a little
frightening.

“I won’t do anything you don’t want me
to,” Garron said softly. He was watching her intently. “We can just lay here if
you want to. It’s enough for me to hold you in my hand.”

“It is?” Tess felt herself relax at his
soothing words.

“It is,” he assured her gently. “You feel
so warm and soft and delicate and your scent is so delicious.”

Tess bit her lip uncertainly. “My scent?
You can smell…but you’ve got your hand over…”

“The scent of your desire still perfumes
the air,” he assured her softly. “It tells me how aroused you are…and how hot
and wet your little pussy is getting.”

Tess felt her stomach flutter nervously at
his hot words.

“I…what makes you think I’m getting, uh,
wet?”

“As I said, your scent.” He kissed her
cheek and murmured, “I’m sure if I was to spread you open now, I’d find your
inner cunt all slippery with honey.”

“You…you would?” The hot, dirty words
whispered in her ear were making her crazy and yet he still did nothing but
talk.

“Mmm-hmm.” He rubbed her gently, still
keeping his hand and fingers on the outside of her pussy. “Are you, Tess? Are
you wet for me?”

“I…I don’t know. I think so,” she
whispered boldly, pressing her hips up to rub harder against his palm.
“Would…would you like to find out?”

“Of course I would,” he murmured, looking
into her eyes. “In fact, I
need
to.
But I need something from you, too.”

“Wh-what?”

“I need you to ask me to do it.”

“I…what?” she looked at him uncertainly.
Was he asking her to talk dirty to him? It hadn’t been hard earlier, while she
was in control. But this—asking to be touched intimately while he was the one
doing the touching—was harder.
Much
harder.

“I’ll get you started,” he said softly,
still looking into her eyes. “Say, ‘Garron, I need you to spread my pussy open
with your fingers.”

“Oh!” Tess bit her lip, uncertain if she
could voice such a raw request.

“Go on,” he murmured encouragingly. “And
look into my eyes when you say it.”

Tess wasn’t sure about this—the idea made
her feel both hot and embarrassed. But he
had
said that he needed it. Maybe voicing out loud what they were doing helped
control his
dr’gin
in some way. For
whatever reason, she decided she would follow along.

“Garron,” she said softly, looking into
the glowing turquoise depths of his eyes. “I…I n-need you to spread my…my pussy
open with…with your fingers.”

“Of course.” Two long fingers opened her
very gently, baring the soft, vulnerable inside of her pussy. Tess gasped,
feeling suddenly exposed but he didn’t do anything else…not yet.

“Garron?” she asked, looking up at him.

He kissed her cheek and then her mouth,
very gently, before answering.

“Yes?”

“Are…are you going to, uh, touch me?”

“Do you want me to?” he asked.

“Do you
need
to?” Tess countered.

Slowly, he nodded. “But I need to hear you
ask for it. Say, ‘Garron, would you please pet the inside of my pussy?”

This time it was a little easier to say
the words.

“Garron,” she whispered, still looking
into his gorgeous, other-worldly eyes. “Would…could you pet the…the inside of
my pussy?”

“Good.” He kissed her again. “Of course I
will,
lin’del.
Nothing would give me
more pleasure. But first I’d like to take off your panties so I have more room
to work. Is that all right?”

Tess bit her lip. Pierce had never asked
her if anything he wanted to do was okay with her—he just did it. It was nice
to be asked. It made her feel safe—safe enough to agree to taking off the last
scrap of clothing that stood between them.

“Yes,” she whispered. “I’ll take them
off.”

“No.” He put a hand on her leg. “I want to
do it. Will you let me?”

“All right.” Tess expected him to just
reach down and push her panties down her legs. Instead, he slowly withdrew his
hand and then knelt beside her. He leaned over and slipped his long fingers
under the waistband of her panties. Slowly, reverently, he drew them down past
her hips, baring her little by little as though he was unveiling a work of art.