Devoured: Brides of the Kindred 11 (23 page)

It’s
because of Tess that you have to calm down. Have to control your emotions! If
you let yourself get too angry the dr’gin is going to come out. And then she’ll
die. Stop it…just stop it!

The rage was choking him—threatening to
take over. And if he let it… Garron shook his head. He had to get control!

Desperately, he rolled down the window and
took a deep breath and then another. Pure mountain air filled his lungs and the
scent of leaves and rocks and dirt and somewhere far off, running water, filled
his senses. This world wasn’t all asphalt and fossil fuels and exhaust. There
were good things here too—growing things. He could smell them and the scent
calmed him.

It was an uphill battle but little by
little, his rage began to recede. At last when they finally reached the cabin,
which was in a secluded spot on the side of a mountain, he was able to unclench
his fingers from the steering device and start to relax.

Only then, when they were parked and he
had rolled up the window, did he finally turn to face Tess.

“Tess,” he began and then realized that
she was huddled against the passenger door—as far from him as she could get.
Her fingers were gripping the door handle and her knuckles were white. Most
telling of all, however, was the bitter scent of her fear which filled the cab
of the truck now that the window was back up.

Fresh anger filled him and he had to
swallow it down. Of
course
she was
afraid after that bastard had grabbed her and wouldn’t let go!

“Tess?” he said again, more gently and
reached out to touch her arm.

She flinched away, her eyes wide with
fright.

“Don’t! Please don’t!”

“Don’t what?” Garron looked at her
uncertainly.

“I didn’t
want
him to touch me,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around
herself tightly.
“He
came up to
me.
I never
invited
him. I never saw him before. I wouldn’t…I never…so
please…please don’t punish me.”

“Punish you? What are you—?”

Slowly a horrible realization began to
dawn on Garron. Tess wasn’t frightened because of the drunken male who had
grabbed her in the food store. No, the only one she was frightened of was…

Me.
She’s scared of me!
Scared to fucking death by the look of her.

Garron felt his heart clench at the
thought. He couldn’t bear for her to be frightened of him! Couldn’t stand the
fact that she thought he might harm her in any way.

“Tess,” he said, his voice coming out more
roughly than he’d intended. “Tess, please…I would
never
hurt you.”

“You marked him.” Her voice was tight with
unshed tears. “I saw the prints of your f-fingers on his th-throat.” She
shivered. “I can’t…I don’t…”

“I did it for you.” Garron shook his head.
“No, that’s not true,” he said in a low voice. “I did it for
me.
Because when I saw him touching you
I got so
angry
and all I could think
was ‘
mine.
’ I know that’s not right
but I—”

“
Mine
.
That’s what Pierce used to say.” She was still wrapped in a tense little ball,
her arms around herself, her legs crossed tight as though her entire body
wanted to ward him off. “He used to say I was his—his
property
. To punish or fuck or do whatever he wanted with.”

“I didn’t mean it that way!” Garron
protested. “I meant…”
Go on, what
did
you mean?
whispered a taunting
little voice in his brain.
Did you mean
you wanted to break your vow? Did you mean you wanted to forget about Nella
completely and claim this female as your mate? Or did you mean you wanted to
let your dr’gin out to devour her? Or all three? Well?

“Well?” Tess sat up a little straighter
and threw him a sidelong glance.

“I…I don’t know what I meant,” he said at
last, heavily. “I’m sorry. Sorry if I frightened you.”

He got out of the truck and came around to
open her door. Tess hopped out quickly before he could extend a hand to help
her. She walked quickly to the cabin and fumbled the key into the lock. She
didn’t look back as the two of them entered the cool, dark interior.

“I’m going to take a shower,” she said,
without looking at him. “I think I—”

“Wait.” Garron couldn’t stand for her to
leave like this. “Please, Tess…” He put a hand on her shoulder from behind.

Tess froze at once, her entire body going
rigid as though she had turned to stone under his hand.

“Don’t.” Her voice was soft but her tone
was intense—filled with so much fear and betrayal it made him sick. He couldn’t
see her face but he didn’t need to—he could hear her panic, could smell her
terror. “Don’t…
please.”

Garron let his hand drop to his side.

“I…I’m sorry,” he muttered, taking a step
back. “I shouldn’t have. I…please, Tess, don’t go. Please just stay and talk to
me.”

“I can’t.” A visible shiver went through
her. “I just…I need some time. Let me get a shower and we can…can try again.
Sorry.”

And then she fled, walking quickly down
the hallway in the middle of the cabin and shutting the door behind her.

Chapter
Twenty-three

He’s
not Pierce. He’s not going to hurt you. Not going to punish you for something
that wasn’t your fault,
the voice of reason
insisted.

Tess knew it was right but when she closed
her eyes she kept seeing those fingerprints forming on the drunk’s neck over
and over. And then the image would change to finger-shaped bruises on her own
arms and legs…bruises on her belly…

Stop
it! Stop it—don’t think about that!
she
ordered herself.
What good will it do?
Just take a shower and try to forget.

She stepped into the little bathroom where
dusty towels still hung on the cheap metal towel rack. Taking one off, she beat
out the dust, trying not to choke, and twisted the shower tap to the far left
for hot water. When the clouds of steam started rising, she was grateful that
Di had continued the payments to keep the cabin’s electric bill up to date.
Right now a cold shower just wouldn’t have cut it.

She stripped down and paused for a moment
to look at herself in the oval mirror over the sink. She hadn’t asked Di if her
uncle had ever been married but the mirror seemed like a female touch as did a
lot of other things in the cabin—like the handmade quilt at the foot of the bed
and the scented candles gathering dust on the night table. Whoever the
mysterious woman had been, Tess thanked her for her influence. The cabin, while
dusty and disused, was in much better shape than she had expected it to be.

The girl who stared back at her from the
silver surface of the oval mirror was pale, her eyes big and frightened. Tess
didn’t like seeing herself that way.
You
look like a victim,
whispered a little voice.
You act like one too. Why did you run away when all he wanted to do was
talk?

She lifted her chin and twisted around,
trying to get a good look at her back. It was completely healed—not so much as
a tiny white scar remained from her encounter with Pierce and his belt.

And
that’s because of Garron.
He healed you and he didn’t mean to scare you. He’s not Pierce—you need
to try to get over the past and move on.

Yes, but that advice was easier to give
than it was to take. She could tell herself all day long that the big Kindred
meant her no harm but just seeing him wrap his fingers around that guy’s throat
and squeeze like he wanted to choke the life out of him had driven every
rational thought out of her mind. All that had been left was her innate,
visceral reaction and the fear that she might be next, that her punishment was
on the way…

Have
to get over that,
Tess told herself
sternly as she washed and rinsed her hair with some ancient shampoo that
smelled faintly of the ocean.
And you
have to tell Garron what’s going on. He was trying to defend you. He didn’t
know you would freak out like that—cut the guy a break!

Yes, she would try to. And more than
that—she was going to tell Garron the truth. At least, as far as she was able…

She dried off and made her way to the
single bedroom with its rustic bed. In here, the bachelor pad factor was off
the charts. Despite the dusty candles and the lace curtains in the single
window, the furniture all screamed
boys
club only.
The bedspread was blue and green plaid polyester so cheap it
made her itch just to look at it and the headboard and footboard were made of
interlocking antlers. A deer head mounted on the wall completed the look.

Trying not to look at the poor deer’s
glassy eyes, Tess reached in her duffel and pulled out another pair of loose
yoga pants, a bra and panties, and a t-shirt. It occurred to her, as she
dressed, that most of what she had packed were these kinds of clothes. Sexless,
baggy, not very flattering. But these clothes had been the only “safe” choices
to wear around Pierce. He had even insisted that she buy the scrubs she wore to
work a size too big, because he didn’t want other men looking at her body.

Why am
I still dressing like this? I left him months ago. I should have gone out and
gotten something sexy to wear like Di suggested.

But somehow she had kept hanging on to her
old clothes—the same way she’d been hanging on to her old fears.

Tess looked down at herself.
Will I ever be able to get rid of them?

Well, there was no time like the present to
start. Take a deep breath, she walked out into the living room. Garron was
sitting on the brown and green plaid couch—Di’s uncle had either been Scottish
or
really
into plaid—with his head
down and his elbows resting on his knees.

“Garron?” she said softly. “Can we talk?”

He looked up slowly. His eyes were glowing
a dull blue.

“If you want to.” His deep voice was
quiet.

“I do.” Tess came and sat beside him.
“Look, I’m sorry I freaked out on you back there at the Piggly Wiggly. I
just…that whole scene brought back bad memories.”

“I shouldn’t have done what I did,” he
said in a low voice. “I should have realized it would upset you.”

“You couldn’t know that,” Tess said.
“Because you don’t know my past—what…what Pierce did.”

“I know he hit you.” His face was fierce
for a moment, his eyes glowing more brightly.

“He did. But…it wasn’t just that.”

“What else?” he asked in a low voice.
“Tell me, Tess. Anything that helps me understand. No matter what it is, I want
to know.”

“All right.” Tess pinched the bridge of her
nose. “God, this is hard.” She took a deep breath. “Pierce used to get really
upset and jealous if he even saw another guy
talking
to me. And if the guy actually
touched
me…” She shook her head. “There was this waiter once, when
we went out to eat. I think he was just angling for a bigger tip but he kept
touching my arm. When we got home that night…”

She closed her eyes, trying not to
remember but unable to push the memory back completely.

You
little slut—you little whore! You liked him, didn’t you? Did you let him fuck
you in the lady’s room? Is his cum up inside you right now? Take off your
panties you little whore—let me see!

No,
Pierce, please! I swear—you know I would never…

Lying
bitch!

His thick hand on her arm, right where the
waiter had been touching her all night. Then a blinding pain and a sickening
crack…

“Tess…?” Garron’s voice was worried.

When she opened her eyes, she saw that he
had a hand out to her, as though he wanted to comfort her in some way but he
didn’t quite dare.

“It’s all right,” she said in a voice that
came out hoarse and shaky. She cleared her throat and tried again. “It’s all
right. It’s just hard to talk about. He, uh, broke my arm that night. Here.”
She pointed to her left forearm, right between the wrist and elbow. “It was
just a greenstick fracture—not compound or anything. I had to lie when I went
to get the X-ray. I said I fell down the steps…”

“Here?” His fingers brushed her arm just
where she had pointed. “This is where he hurt you?”

Tess’s heart skipped a beat for some
reason.

“Uh…yes.”

“May I?” He lifted her arm slowly.

“Um…I…I guess.” Now her heart was
pounding. What was he going to do?

But Garron simply pressed his lips
tenderly to the spot where she had been hurt all those years ago. Tess thought
she could almost feel the old break throbbing under his gentle touch. He held
the kiss for a long moment and looked up, meeting her eyes with his own. Tess
gazed into those clear, blue-green depths, unable to look away as her heart
went into overdrive. She could smell his scent again—that rich, masculine spice
that seemed to surround him whenever he was having intense emotions.

At last he pulled away and let her arm go.

“Why…why did you do that?” she whispered.

“I don’t know. I wanted to.” He was still looking
at her intently, his eyes on fire in the dim room.

“Thank you, I…” Tess cleared her throat,
trying to get her scrambled thoughts back in order. “Anyway, that’s why when
you came up and that guy was…was touching my hand, I sort of freaked out,” she went
on, trying to pretend the tender kiss had never happened. “I mean, I know
you’re not Pierce but my first response was—”

“Fear,” Garron finished for her. “And I
didn’t help any by going insane with rage and grabbing him by the neck.”

Tess nodded. “Well, yeah.” She sighed.
“It’s just…all these things—these
fears
—I
thought I was starting to get over them. But then when he grabbed me again and
took me back to his house and…and…” She shook her head. “Well, you know.
Anyway, I guess it just brought everything back.”

“That’s understandable.” He nodded.
“Forgive me for losing control like I did. Such an emotional outburst
is…unpardonable. It’s just…my other…” He shook his head. “My naming day is near
and I fear…”

“What?” Tess asked, when he stopped
speaking and looked away from her. “What do you fear?”

He shook his head. “You’re braver than me.
I can’t even speak my fear aloud. I’m afraid if I do…”

“It might come true.” Tess nodded. “I
think I understand.”

Garron closed his eyes tightly for a
moment, a look of intense pain crossing his face. “It’s getting harder to
control—more difficult to hold back. I don’t know what to do.”

“I…” Tess didn’t know what to say. But
suddenly a snatch of the conversation she’d overheard came back to her
. “She tames it. I don’t know how she does
it but every time she touches me or I touch her—every time her skin comes into
contact with mine—I can feel my dr’gin quieting within me. It’s hard to explain
but it’s almost as if it likes her.”

Garron’s exact words when he spoke to his brother.
And twice he had told her that she calmed the burning in his blood.

Me,
she realized.
I’m
the answer—I can help him.

The question was, did she have the courage
to give him what he needed?

It’s
wrong…dangerous,
whispered the little
voice in her head, the voice of self preservation that had come to live inside
her when she married Pierce.
You
shouldn’t…

But it didn’t have to be sexual, did it?
Couldn’t it just be…calming? She remembered the way he had hugged her on the
Mother Ship. The way he had sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her close,
resting his head on her chest as though asking mutely for comfort. Why couldn’t
it be like that?

“Garron,” she said softly.

“Yes?” He didn’t look up.

“I think…I think I can help you. If…if you
want me to.”

“How?” He looked up at last.

“Like this.” Tess stood and came around to
face him. She stepped between his knees and, heart pounding hard, she reached
for him.

Garron seemed to hold his breath as she
enfolded him, wrapping her arms around his neck and shoulders and pulling him
close. The couch was low so his head came to rest right against her breasts.
Tess pulled him close anyway, pressing against him. The v-neck of her t-shirt
pulled down a little and she felt the scratch of his cheek against the tops of
her breasts as he put his arms around her hips and hugged her back.

“Gods,” he muttered hoarsely. “Oh, Tess…”

“It’s all right.” She ran her fingers
through his thick, black hair and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.
“Everything is going to be all right, Garron. I promise.”

“I hope you’re right. I just…don’t know
how.”

“Like this,” she whispered. “Does it…does
it help?”

“You know it does.” He looked up at her,
his eyes glowing brightly. “Your touch calms the burning…tames the beast
within.”

“But not completely,” Tess said, studying
his face. “You need more, don’t you?”

“I…” He dropped his eyes. “I cannot ask
for more.”

“Yes, you can.” Taking a step back, Tess
took his hand and tugged. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?” he asked, getting
off the couch.

“To…” Tess took a deep breath. “To the
bedroom.”

“But what—?”

“You’ll see.”

Trying to keep her courage up, she lifted
her chin and marched down the short hallway to the bedroom with its ridiculous
antler bed and plaid bedspread. Taking the handmade quilt that was folded at
the foot of the bed, she shook it out and spread it over the garish plaid.
There—much better!

Then she started to undress. Off came the
baggy t-shirt and down came the loose yoga pants.

“Tess, wait…” Garron sounded uncertain.
“What are you doing?”

“Giving you what you need.” She turned to
face him in only her bra and panties. Should she take them off as well? Her
fingers hovered over the front snap of her bra but in the end she lost her
nerve. This would have to do.