Deviations: Submission (13 page)

"Ready?" he asked Mrs. Miller as he opened the door.

"Of course, Doctor," she said, her tone heavily implying that she was always ready for anything.

"Are you ever going to call me 'Tobias' again?"

"No. I earned the degree with you, lad. I like using the proof."

He smiled and shook his head, absurdly pleased he'd finally asked. They went out to the porch just as Noah and 112

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Jorge started up the stairs. "Hello, Noah," he said smoothly.

"Glad you could come."

"Hello, Tobias," Noah smiled cheerfully. He didn't appear to be nervous, so either he was covering it well for Mrs. Miller's benefit or he'd grown more confident since their phone call.

However, Tobias noted with a bit of a frown that his request that Noah leave everything at home had apparently been ignored. Jorge had pulled a rather large duffel bag out of the trunk. "Thank you for the car. Your property is beautiful."

"Thank you." Tobias let his gaze linger on the bag for a moment and then gestured toward Mrs. Miller. "Noah, this is my housekeeper, Mrs. Miller. Mrs. Miller, Noah Dolan." He stepped back and to the side, letting Mrs. Miller bully her way closer as she held out her hand.

"Mrs. Miller." Noah smiled boyishly, taking her hand,

"Tobias has told me such nice things about you, I'm so glad for the opportunity to meet you." He smiled at her and then kissed the back of her hand.

She blinked. Tobias clearly saw her blink, and he bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.

"Well, Mr. Dolan, I wish I could say the same-the doctor has been frustratingly silent about you." She smiled gently at Jorge and allowed him to take her bag as he left Noah's. "You will forgive the state of the place, I hope, and I'm afraid that the meals will be nowhere near the standard I set when given my head."

"Please, call me Noah. And I doubt anyone would be capable of upholding your standards from what I've heard."

He released her hand and stepped out of the way. Tobias 113

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noted that he was making damn sure to make a good impression; he'd even dressed conservatively in his jeans and a soft blue sweater. "I know you'll be missed. I hope you have a lovely weekend."

Tobias smiled to himself when a spark flared in Mrs.

Miller's eyes.

"I doubt if I'll be missed, but thank you." She turned to Tobias and winked. "I'll talk to you on Monday evening, Doctor?"

"Of course." He took her arm to help her on the stairs, earning him the expected snort as she shook him off and strode down.

Jorge, silent as ever, opened the front door for her, and she sank onto the leather seat with a sigh. "Watch him, he's a smooth one," she teased. "Almost had me blushing, the darling."

"He's very smooth," Tobias agreed slyly, just to see the blush actually creep up her cheeks.

"Your mother would be shocked!" she said in a stage whisper.

With a laugh Tobias nodded. "But you're not." He closed her door gently, still thrilled with the quiet snick as the latch caught, and waited as the window slid down, just as quietly.

"No, I'm not," she agreed. "He's ... young." She seemed to want a response.

"I suppose he is." Tobias looked back at the porch where Noah waited. "As much energy as Phan, do you think?"

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"Lord above, I hope not. Mind, if he cleans as well, I'll be happy." And with that she powered her window closed and waved for Jorge to help her make an exit.

He waited until the car was down the drive a bit before turning and going back up the stairs, his boots thumping solidly.

"Come in, Noah," he said, pulling open the door. "We have some things to discuss, I believe, and then I'll show you around. Bring your bag."

Noah shouldered his bag and followed Tobias inside. "She's sweet," he remarked as the screen door slammed behind him.

"Oops. Sorry about that."

"You'll get used to it. And she's scary," Tobias corrected.

"She's been here since I was five ... I don't know what I'd do without her." He turned at the bottom of the stairs and looked at Noah. "Put your bag there, on the bench, and come into the office. What did you bring?"

Noah dropped his bag and followed Tobias into the office, an embarrassed smile on his face. "Just my uniform and boots for work on Monday like you told me. But I didn't know how much she knew so I stuffed a pillow in there so it looked like I had a weekend's worth of stuff." Noah chuckled softly.

"She's pretty progressive for eighty-three."

Tobias nodded. "She knows I'm gay, she thinks you're my lover. She doesn't know about the rest, although it wouldn't surprise me if she's guessed a lot of it."

Noah acknowledged the information with a nod and said,

"Oh, and I brought two other things." He lifted his sweater and took off his belt, attached to which was a shiny black 115

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Berretta in a black nylon holster. He set the gun on the desk, then he reached in his pocket and pulled out a clip, his badge, and tiny black pager, all of which he set beside it. "Since all the terrorist stuff started, we're under orders not to go anywhere without our firearm, and that pager which goes off in the case of an emergency which would require all hands."

He shrugged. "The gun's not loaded. You could lock up in a safe if you have one, or just put it in a drawer. The pager needs to be left somewhere that you can check it a couple of times a day for me. I've never been interrupted by it, but I suppose it could happen. I know it's a hassle, I'm sorry."

Picking up the gun Tobias nodded, feeling the weight of it.

"I'll put it in the wall safe-you'll remind me to get it on Monday morning." He reached for the clip and badge as well and crossed the room to the bookshelf where he swung out the panel that hid the safe. Turning the combination quickly, he asked, "You don't need the pager with you?"

"I don't want it with me," Noah responded, shaking his head. "I look at the pager, I think 'work' and I lose my headspace, you know? If I can trust you to check it a couple of times a day for me then I can forget about it. There will be a series of numbers that come through if it goes off."

Tobias set the weapon and clip in the safe and nodded. "Of course. I won't have my own work pager with me, and as you're here I hardly expect my personal pager will go off. I'll take care of it, check them all once in a while."

"Thank you."

He got a file folder from the safe and went back to the desk, motioning for Noah to sit. "Are you ready to take a look 116

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at the contract? I would like the list I asked for, as well." He kept his voice neutral, but his stomach was already tightening in anticipation; these were heady moments, times at which he felt the weight of his need quite keenly. He wanted and he desired, and he knew it would be a turbulent evening for them both.

He had no doubt that Noah would be his within the hour.

That he would change his mind now and decide to leave was unthinkable.

"Oh. Yes, I brought that, too." Noah tugged a piece of paper folded in quarters out of his back pocket before he sat down. "I should probably have typed that up ages go, but I really hadn't expected I'd need it any time soon." Tobias noted that Noah's nerves were finally beginning to show.

Noah unfolded the list and leaned toward the desk to hand it over. "I hope it's what you were looking for?"

Tobias smiled and took the paper in one hand, sliding the file folder across the desk to Noah with the other. "I'm sure it will be fine."

He leaned back in his chair, waiting until Noah had opened the folder before looking down at the list in his hand and scanning it quickly.

Favorites

Leather Cat o' Nine

Hot Wax

Directed masturbation

Oral sex (giving with hands bound or getting while in bondage)

Cock rings

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Orgasms

He smiled and looked up. "I suspect our favorites will mesh-mine more often than yours, probably, as I fully expect to achieve many more orgasms than I'll allow you."

Noah sighed melodramatically, then grinned at Tobias, blushing slightly. "I expected as much."

"Of course," Tobias chuckled. He turned his attention back to the list, nodding at several of the items and making note of things that could be used for discipline or punishment-withholding a favorite or using a disliked tool could be powerful inducements.

It was with most of his attention, however, that he studied the items Noah had marked as strong dislikes or to be discussed in detail. Interestingly, he hadn't said a flat no to cages; in fact, there wasn't an outright refusal anywhere. He had strong reasons for not wanting to do specific scenes or use implements that could mark him, and in Tobias' opinion the entire list was well thought out, perhaps leaning a little far away from self-preservation.

"Why do you not simply refuse to allow knives or breath play?" he asked curiously.

Noah shook his head thoughtfully. "They're both things I've had positive and negative experience with in the past.

Quite frankly, if my trust in a Dom were unshakeable, they would be both on my favorites list," Noah said calmly. "But I used to live too dangerously and once I made an error in judgment, putting my trust in someone I shouldn't have, and you've seen the result."

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He looked down a moment as if gathering his thoughts and went on. "It's a turn on to walk that line with someone.

Knives, if used well, can be very erotic. And oxygen deprivation heightens everything in a way." He made a vague gesture by his head and then looked at Tobias. "It's risky and dangerous and it's hot as hell. I'm sure you know what I mean."

He was still blushing a bit, but he continued to speak frankly. "I don't want to draw a line when there might be something I can learn there. But I don't want to go down that road until I'm ready, either." Noah rubbed his palms on his knees and looked at the top of the desk. He seemed a little lost in his own thoughts. "I know Brett told you what happened. I'm not drawing a line there either, because I know one day I have to go back to that cage or I won't get past it. Eventually I have to go back, hooded and blind and deaf and trust ... trust that my master won't..." His eyes flicked up and Tobias got a look into Noah's soul. "I hope you can help me understand when that time has come, if it comes. We can discuss it more then."

Tobias wasn't sure if he could form an eloquent reply; Noah was so earnest, so clearly focused on doing everything he could, everything Tobias sensed he was capable of ... it was overwhelming, and he was at once honored to be starting this journey and also worried that Noah would try to direct things, move too quickly to reach his goals.

That, at least, he knew he could control.

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He stood up and set the list on the desk, centering it carefully. "I have no problem with any of this. I'll attach it to the contract once you've had time to make your decision."

Without looking back he left the office, closing the door quietly behind him, and made his way to the kitchen, where he would wait. Moments later Tobias caught movement out of the corner of his eye and looked up to spot Noah meandering slowly past the kitchen window, contract in hand and reading it closely. Tobias wondered if it was a bad sign that Noah wanted some air, though if he knew Noah at all it was more likely that he wanted to look it over in a place that wasn't as dominated by Tobias' presence as his office.

He watched Noah round the side of the house and wander a bit further up the drive where he climbed the horse fence and perched his blue-jean-clad ass on the top rung. He was silhouetted against the red-orange-pink glow of the sunset as he lowered the contract into his lap and looked out over the pasture. He appeared quietly thoughtful from what Tobias could see, and it was easy to merely stand on the other side of the glass and watch. However, it seemed almost like an invasion, and as Tobias had every intention of taking as much privacy he could away from Noah, he thought it best to leave him this small time of it.

He turned from the window and, after checking to see if the oven was on to warm dinner, he sat at the table and waited. As it turned out, he didn't have to wait very long.

"'His needs outweigh his preferences, and it is my duty to ensure he understands that, '" came Noah's voice from the kitchen doorway. "I like that line." He grinned as Tobias 120

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turned to him. "I gave you a lot of leeway with my list because between my own experience and Bradford's reassurances, I instinctively knew you would give me a high level of comfort in our contract in return. It's very compassionate and clear, and I want you to know it's appreciated."

Tobias regarded Noah carefully. "It's a fairly standard contract, I think..."

"Oh no," Noah interrupted. "No, it's not. I mean, some of it is, like the obligation to get regular blood tests for STDs, and thanks for including both of us in that, by the way. But the promises you make-to make sure your sub understands why you make decisions, to be clear about when he has pleased you and why-those things are gifts, Tobias, to me anyway.

Subs aren't always promised that kind of communication, that kind of empathy. It's expected that the Dom will learn a great deal about the sub, but to promise to give your sub the ability to learn about you, rather than just obey? That's not standard. That's extraordinary. That's a promise of partnership."

Noah pushed off the wall and stepped into the kitchen, approaching the table. "Got a pen? Or should I hit the men's room before I sign?"