Deviant (26 page)

I knew he was trying to be funny, so I just laughed along with him. “Fuck off, old man,” I replied jokingly. “Haven’t you got a certain lady friend you should be visiting now?” I looked at him a little quizzically. Humphrey had been dating this woman named Sonia who owned a clothes shop in Ealing. He was loved up and he knew it.

He looked at the time, then back up. “Hmm, I suppose I should be getting ready.”

I shook my head. “And you say I’m pussy-whipped.”

Humphrey waved a finger at me. “Ah, yes, but the difference is that I admit it. You wouldn’t.”

I shook my head and turned to leave, but Humphrey said, “If you have any problems with Carmichael later, let me know.”

I nodded. “I’m sure I can handle Carmichael, but thanks.”

I waved and took to the stairs to take a shower. No doubt the cops would be on their way back to the station by now, and their first stop would probably be to their chief superintendent. It made me smile a little. I had known Aidan Carmichael for a little over five years now. I followed him, got to know all his habits, his strengths, his weaknesses. What he liked, what he didn’t like. I took it all in, then “accidently” bumped into him at a bar one evening. His favourite team, Chelsea, was playing that night, and I pretended to be the ever-loyal fan that I knew he was. We got along splendidly. I invited him to functions and he invited me to his house to meet his wife, Cynthia, and his two daughters, Kerry and Maisy. I had never been interested in the weasel. He had a wife and two kids at home, but preferred to go out, use his status as a chief superintendent, and screw anyone he could get his hands on. I loathed men like that. If there was one thing I could definitely say about my father, it was that he had a lot of respect for women, and an even deeper respect for my mother. He doted on her and would constantly tell me how important it was to respect a woman.
“When you find a good woman like your mother, you never once take advantage of the fact she is always there. And you never once stop looking at her without thinking just how goddamned lucky you are to have her. Every second you cherish, every moment never wasted. You treat her as you wish to be treated yourself. But I’ll tell you something else, son. That doesn’t mean you take no prisoners. You have to give respect when earned. If you find someone and she lets you down, don’t ever let her see she broke you. You stand tall, head held high, and you show her that a Scozzari never gets fucked over.”

Getting undressed for my shower, I shook my head with a smile as the memories of my father swam around in my head. He was always my inspiration. “Firm, but fair” was the best way to describe him. He would always be there to offer a hand, or simply smile and offer advice when needed. But if you ever fucked him over, you lived to regret it. There was no two ways about it.

As I stood under the shower and let the warm water massage my back, I thought about what my father said and how much his words inspired me to seek my revenge for what Tyler had done. I knew he would approve of what I was doing. No one fucks over a Scozzari
.
Nobody. Tyler would have had everything if she had let me in…if she hadn’t screwed me over.

Walking out of the shower, I dried myself as I went to into my room to find some clothes. As I was looking, my phone started ringing.

“Yes,” I answered abruptly.

“Dean, it’s Jimmy.”

Taking a seat on my bed, I smiled. “Jimmy, what have you got for me?”

He hesitated a moment, making me panic slightly that something was wrong with Tyler.

“She left the apartment a few minutes before nine and walked to St. Francis Hospital on Dexter Street. She’s back home now.”

I was confused. I couldn’t think of a reason she would be missing work and going there. Tyler never missed work, and I knew for a fact she hasn’t been in all week.

“What the fuck is she doing at the hospital?”

Jimmy hesitated again and sighed. “I don’t know.”

“What the fuck, Jimmy? What do you mean you don’t fucking know?”

Again he hesitated and I wanted to crawl through the phone and rip his throat out. “Hospitals freak me out.”

I laughed. “You are fucking kidding me, right?”

“I’m not kidding. I can’t go into a hospital.”

I shook my head in frustration. “Jimmy, you’re six foot five, weigh probably two hundred and thirty pounds. You’re the sickest fuck I know, who tortures people as a hobby, but you’re afraid of a fucking hospital?” I couldn’t believe my fucking ears!

“I’m not afraid,” he snapped. “They freak me out.”

I rolled my eyes. “And there’s a difference?”

“Yes, there’s a fucking difference. They have sick people in there with germs and shit.”

Grabbing my towel, I yanked it off me and went in search of some boxers. “Listen, Jimmy. I’m paying you well to follow Tyler around for a bit. I need to know exactly where she is going and who she is visiting. If she goes back to that hospital again, I don’t care how much you think you’ll catch the black fucking plague, you follow her in there and find out what the fuck she’s doing. You. Got. That?”

Jimmy sighed resolutely. “Yes.”

“Good. Now, is there anything else you like to tell me about that freaks you out? How about clowns, Jimmy? Do they freak you out? A dentist, perhaps?”

I heard Jimmy growl. “Fuck off!”

I laughed hard and ended the call. Silly, scared little fuck. The man’s a giant, yet he’s scared of a building? Jeez.

As I got dressed, I thought about what Tyler could possibly be doing in the hospital. Was she sick? When I went to her last night, she had been crying. Had she found out something bad at the hospital? Fucking numpty, Jimmy! If he’d just followed her in there, I would have known by now. I couldn’t fucking do it because it would risk me getting caught, especially now that she saw me that night at the mansion.

Thinking about this set me up in a bad mood all day. I found myself on edge and snappy, wondering what the hell was wrong with her. She looked healthy enough, but that didn’t necessarily mean shit in the grand scheme of things. Whatever was wrong, I had to find out. If Jimmy couldn’t fucking do it, I’d have to get someone else. I may need to fucking hire someone just so I didn’t use anybody that I knew. I didn’t like the fact I wasn’t in control here. I knew everything there was to know about Tyler but, somehow, I had missed this. Whatever reason she had taken a week off of work for must have been important. Tyler was many things, but a slacker wasn’t one of them.

So, throughout the day, I went to work, made calls, worked out, and generally let off steam. By evening, I was a little more relaxed, but it didn’t stop the nagging feeling in my gut. I hated it because someone could easily misconstrue this as worry. I didn’t worry about Tyler because she meant nothing to me.

“Dean, it looks like Carmichael is parking outside.”

Good, that meant he could come say what he had to say, then I could get back to my penthouse. I didn’t like staying here too long. It was a house filled with ill-repute and free-loaders. Fucking scum of the earth.

Pouring myself a drink, I offered one to Humphrey. He shook his head. “What’s the matter, Dean? You look shaken or something.”

I gritted my teeth. “I’m fine.”

I really did need to get a fucking grip. If Humphrey knew there was something wrong, so will Carmichael. I couldn’t let whatever shit was going on in my head affect my business here. This was my priority now, not her.

“Fine,” Humphrey said as the doorbell rang. “I’ll go answer that, shall I?”

I nodded with a smile and took a swig of my drink. I wasn’t sure what to expect when Carmichael got in here, but I sure had an inkling.

“Dean,” Carmichael boomed as he came into the lounge.

“Aidan, how are you? Care for a drink?”

I saw his hesitation but, in the end, he shook his head. “No. I assume you know why I’m here.”

I smiled wickedly at him. “Hmm, I had a little visit from a couple of your men today. Nice chaps.”

Carmichael sat down and placed his hat on the sofa. “Did you have anything to do with this, Dean? Did you use me that night?”

I put on my best offended look and frowned. “Of course not. Listen.” Walking over to the drinks cabinet, I poured him a large bourbon and sat down opposite him. Despite him denying the drink initially, I knew he really wanted it. “How long have we been friends now, Aidan? Five years?” Carmichael nodded and took a sip of his drink. “We have always been there for one another when we’ve had parties and such. Saturday night was just like any other night. Well, apart from the ladies, of course.” I smirked, but Carmichael remained aloof.

“I’m not stupid, Dean. Although you’ve never told me, I know there must be things you’re dealing in that are not legal. Those girls were a prime example. They were prostitutes, weren’t they?”

I gasped and got out of my chair. “Of course not,” I said, dumbfounded. “Samantha and Katie are two very good, very fuckable friends. Sure, they hang around me for my money and parties, and they take advantage of that every chance they get, but that doesn’t mean I pay to sleep with them, Carmichael. Women don’t see me. They see wealth. When they see the fucking pound signs shining in their eyes, they’d sleep with just about anybody.”

I could see Carmichael visibly relaxing, but he was still a bit on edge. “I don’t know, Dean. Everyone believes that Pinzano killed your parents, then he ends up in the river on the night of your party?”

I shook my head. “Pinzano had a lot of enemies, Carmichael. You must realise that. There must be countless people out there that he’s screwed over. It wouldn’t have been just me. Besides, why would I wait so long?” When I saw him deep in thought, I took my seat opposite him again. “I grew up in that kind of lifestyle and look what happened to my parents. I vowed I would never follow in their footsteps. I don’t want that kind of life for me or any children I may have later. You can understand that, right?”

Carmichael looked up and hesitated for a moment before smiling. “Of course. Sorry I doubted you, Dean. I should never have thought you’d use me like that. I apologise.”

Silly fuck!

“Don’t worry about it.” I smiled. “Apology accepted and all forgotten. Cheers,” I said, raising my glass. Carmichael smiled and clinked his glass with mine.

“I guess you’re wondering what I said to them? I, of course, corroborated your story as it was the truth. I obviously left out the part about Samantha and Katie, and I trust you did the same.”

I nodded. “Of course. That goes without saying. You are a married man, after all. The more we hide this, the better. For your family’s sake, as well as yours.” I said it in the most caring tone, but I was anything but. Carmichael was lowlife scum, plain and simple.

“I appreciate that, Dean. I love my wife and children. I can’t let them get hurt through something like this.”

Well, if you love them so much, why are you screwing around, you dumb fuck?

“What happened in this lounge that evening and upstairs in those rooms stays there. You have no worries about that, Carmichael.”

He gave me an appreciative smile and gulped down his drink. “How are Samantha and Katie, by the way?”

Chapter 31

Tyler

Buckinghamshire, 2000

Walking through the park on the way to meet Dean and Ian, I was thinking about the fact that I turned sixteen soon. The prospect filled me with hope and desire for my future. Well, mine and Dean’s future. In the last few weeks, he had been looking at me funny. It was almost like a knowing look. Every time he did it, my knees went weak. He always knew how to do that but, lately, the stares he gave me were more intense. He was looking at me in a way that meant more than just a boy who simply liked a girl. It was potent, powerful, passionate, and damn fucking sexy.

Smiling, I bit my lip, thinking about the first time he would kiss me. He kept his promise, even to this day. He was the perfect gentleman, but I’d be damned if I didn’t sometimes wish he was less of one. It simply made me want him more—if that were possible.

“Tyler?” a voice called from behind me. “Tyler O’Shea?” I turned toward the voice and squinted at this boy I thought I should recognise from somewhere. I smiled, but it was a confused smile.

“You don’t recognise me, do you?” I shook my head. “Tim Baker from primary school. I was only there a couple of years, then moved. We’ve moved back, and I got a job on Sydney Street.”

I gasped a little, remembering that day when I first met Dean and he punched Tim for being rude to me. He looked a lot bigger and older now with short dirty blonde hair and an attempt at growing a goatee. He was trying, but it didn’t suit him. He was still too young for that trend.

“Ah, that Tim,” I said with a little chuckle.

He nodded, looking a little embarrassed. “Yeah, that Tim. Sorry about that day. I was young and stupid.”

I waved my hands to let him know it was okay. In fact, it was more than okay. It was then that I realised Dean was the boy for me. “Don’t worry about it.”

Tim edged closer and smiled at me. “You know, I have a confession to make.”

Raising my eyebrow, I smiled. “Oh yeah?”

Tim laughed a little, but came in even closer. “The real reason I chased you around the playground and pulled your hair was because I really liked you. I think I was kind of jealous.”

I started laughing. “No shit, Tim?” I couldn’t believe the boy who was so mean to me actually liked me.

“Yes, shit,” he laughed. “And nothing has changed. You’re still as gorgeous as ever.”

I blushed a little and looked away. It was difficult for me to receive a compliment. I had a lot more guys noticing me lately, and Dean had been going out of his freaking mind because of it. I secretly loved that.

“Are you seeing anyone, Tyler? I’d love it if we could maybe go for coffee or catch a movie sometime.”

I smiled, but my heart raced. I didn’t want to go out with him but, at the same time, I hated turning people down. “I’m, er...I am kind of with someone.” I knew I was doing badly here and he could tell.

“You’re
kind of
with someone? As in, you’re not really with someone? You can still go out and see other guys, right? I’d love to take you out.” Tim stroked my arm, but it made me a little uncomfortable. “How about now?” he asked, trying to grab my arm.

“I can’t now. I’m sorry,” I said, trying to pull away from him, but things turned ugly pretty quickly.

Before I knew it, Tim grabbed me and tried to kiss me. I pushed at him, but he was strong. “I’ve always dreamed about this moment, Tyler,” he said before pressing his lips to mine. His lips were everywhere. As his arousal grew stronger, he tried to suck on my neck before meeting my lips again.

I struggled and I fought, but it was no use. He was strong and I was quickly running out of air.

From out of nowhere, Tim was suddenly yanked from me and flying through the air. When I saw it was Dean, my lungs finally filled with air.

“That’s twice now I’ve had to teach you a lesson, you stupid fuck.” Dean marched over to where he lay, but Tim was trying hard to hold out his hands in surrender.

“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. I didn’t realise you two were together.”

It was too late though because Dean was on fire. Grabbing Tim’s shirt collar, Dean punched in hard in the face. I heard a crack and it made the nausea surface and my head feel suddenly woozy.

“Are you okay, Tyler?” Dean asked, his fury now replaced with concern.

I nodded. “Yes, I’m fine. Really, I am.”

When he was satisfied I wasn’t going to faint, Dean turned his attention back to Tim. “Now, if I ever see you around here again, I won’t be so lenient. You got that? Tyler is my girl and nobody fucking touches her.”

Holding his bloody nose, Tim nodded furiously.

“Now, get the fuck out of here before I change my mind.”

Tim didn’t waste any time. He was off, and as soon as he was out of sight, Dean turned to me and placed an arm around my shoulder. “That fucker didn’t hurt you, did he? I don’t mind going after him again if you want me to.” He smiled cheekily and I nudged him.

“Dean, I think you’ve done enough, but thank you for coming to rescue me.”

Turning, he grabbed hold of my chin and gently rubbed his thumb under my bottom lip. “I would go to the ends of the earth to protect you, Tyler. No one gets to hurt my girl. No one.”

*****

Four weeks came and went quicker than ever. Things were going well with my column, Jeremy was getting a little bit better with each treatment of chemo, and my stranger still visited me occasionally. I still asked him to kiss me, asked him for more, but he never would give me anything. I wanted more and I craved after him so much, it was simply quite frightening. How could I fall in love with a man I didn’t know? It just seemed impossible. It was just that he had everything I called out for. He felt familiar and right. He felt dangerous, but fucking tantalising. He was dangerously tantalising, in fact.

In the four weeks, I prepared Jeremy’s room by ordering another bed and moving my desk into my room. I set up everything he would need, including a little stand filled with books for him to read. He was intelligent and the more I could try and stretch the intelligence, the better. I knew he could be great at something once he settled into school and set his mind on whatever it was he wanted to be. He actually hinted one day that he wanted to be a doctor because doctors have been helping him his whole life. He felt he needed to give something back.

The other thing I’d been secretly doing was looking for Jeremy’s Julie. As often as I could, I visited that same spot outside McDonalds, looking and hoping to find a girl with the same description. I really wanted to be the one who helped him tick off all the items on his list. Not because it would mean he had fulfilled everything before dying, but simply because it could give him momentum for life. To give him that boost he so sorely needed to get better and get himself out of that hospital. I knew it was driving him crazy and, quite frankly, it was driving me crazy having him in there. I wanted him with me so he could start his new life. I wanted him to go back to school and start learning all about being a doctor, if that was what he truly wanted.

It was Friday evening and I was just getting ready to go out and celebrate. If all went well, Jeremy should be leaving the hospital in a few days. I had Ian and Louisa coming around for dinner, then we were going to hit a nightclub. It was Spaghetti Bolognaise night, after all, and Louisa had yet to try my culinary skills.

Deciding to keep it simple, I dressed in a fitted, knee-length white dress, my red high heels topping off the outfit nicely. I was ready to go out and I was sure ready to get laid tonight. He hadn’t visited me in a couple of days and I was feeling a little off. It seemed like once he visited and gave me a head-thrumming orgasm, I could think clearly. When he wasn’t with me, I constantly craved him.

Closing my eyes, I pictured my stranger holding me. He did it with enough tenderness to show me he somehow cared, but not enough for me to feel completely content. I let him mark me but, for some reason, I think I believed that if I let him, I was somehow close to him and he was somehow a part of me. The only connection I had when he was gone was the seed he left inside of me, and the marks I now bore on my neck. I even had marks around my wrists because he tied me up on his last visit. I wanted it. I asked for it. I even pulled and yanked on my restraints because it heightened my excitement. I craved his dominance and aggression. It was almost like a part of me screamed to be taken at all costs.

Shit, what was wrong with me? Was it bad that I got off on being tied up by some person I didn’t even know, then ravished within an inch of my life? Was I sick to even try and rationalise that this behaviour was perfectly normal? That letting a stranger come into my home and fuck me like I’d never been fucked in my life was definitely okay? Of course it wasn’t. But why did it all feel so right then? Why, when he came to me, did I feel so alive, more alive than I have ever felt in my life? I couldn’t justify it, I couldn’t comprehend it, but above all else, I couldn’t fucking deny it. I couldn’t deny him. He was everywhere. In my thoughts, in my dreams, in my fantasies.

In my heart.

I was lost to him. Completely and utterly drawn to his sexual magnetism. It was almost like it hummed whenever he entered the room. I had gotten so used to him that I would wake before he even entered the room. I was never scared, never frightened, never intimidated. Instead, I was alight with a thousand volts coursing through my veins. I felt on edge with desire, so full of thirst for a man whose real name I didn’t even know. For a faceless man, a tyrannical man…a deviant.

My
deviant.

It never wavered, never tapered, never weakened. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Despite what he could give me, I wanted more. I wanted so much more. But I knew that could never be true. I knew what we had could never move on from this. How could it? How could a good, long-term relationship ever grow from our situation? He followed me for years, broke into my apartment, ate my cookies, and took from me. He’d taken everything from me and I willingly let him.

But now, with Jeremy coming to live with me I knew it would have to stop. There was no way we could carry on forever. There would come a time when it had to stop, and having Jeremy with me might just be the end of it. A part of me broke with the thought, but another part of me knew this was the best solution.

The problem was it may already be too late. My heart already ached at the thought of not seeing him again, of not feeling his touch, of not ever hearing his raspy voice again. I felt conflicted about that because the only boy I ever loved with all my heart was Dean. I still dreamt about him, too. I still called out to him in my sleep. I still wondered what he was doing, if he was married, had kids. It hurt to think about it all. In a sense, I would feel completely betrayed by that. He always promised he would come back for me. Not anyone else. Me. I still couldn’t understand it and it was probably
that
which made it hard to let go.

My doorbell ringing pulled me from my deep thoughts. It was funny how you could sometimes stand there in a daze and the minutes just pass you by without you thinking about it.

I walked out of my bedroom to open my front door. Ian was standing there with his normal bottles of red and white wine. He stood there, his hair cropped, his blue shirt buttoned up to his chest, sporting the cheekiest smile he could muster. He inhaled deeply, just like he always did, and gave me that satisfactory smile when he knew the Bolognaise was on.

“You look gorgeous, Tyler,” he purred, giving me the once over. “Practically perfect in every way.”

I laughed. “Hey, I’m no Mary Poppins, Ian.” I gestured for him to walk in and he followed me into the kitchen. I had to keep my eye on him just in case he stole some of my sauce when I wasn’t looking.

“Oh, I think you are. Still on for when we turn thirty? You could stay at home and make me Bolognaise every night.” He stood there for a moment, scrutinising me. “There’s something different about you. What is it?”

I shook my head, getting a little panicked that he could see right through me. As a nervous gesture, I tucked my hair behind my ear and fidgeted a little. He watched, then gasped a little when he saw my wrists and neck.

Rushing over, he grabbed my wrists to inspect them. “What the fuck is this, Tyler? Has someone hurt you?” I tried to let go of his grip, but he was pulling my hair out of the way so he could inspect my neck. “Shit. What the hell have you gotten yourself into, girl?”

Pulling away, I smiled nervously and started stirring the sauce. “It’s nothing, Ian. Just a little bit of playing, that’s all.” I couldn’t meet his eyes because I felt somehow ashamed to admit I was like this. Ian didn’t know I was sleeping with anyone, let alone playing these types of games with him.

Suddenly, Ian was intimately right beside me and I had no choice but to look up. His smile was wide as he suddenly pushed himself into me. “You kinky fucking bitch, Tyler. I never knew.”

“Oh, fuck off,” I said, throwing a small piece of spaghetti at him.

“I never knew you were like this, Tyler. I don’t quite know how to feel about it all.”

I rolled my eyes. “Well, judging by your sudden third leg, I would suggest maybe the thought turned you on.”