Detour from Normal (36 page)

"When you get out of the hospital, are you going back to work?"

"Yes, that's my plan."

"Do you feel ready to go back to work and able to take care of yourself?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to see your wife and family and work through this whole process with them?"

"Yes I do. I've wanted to for a long time. I am concerned they'll continue to put me in institutions until they think I'm cured. I have a lot of anxiety about that."

"Do you have anything else to comment on regarding why you're in here?"

"I'm concerned that the doctor wants to force me to take lithium. I told him that if lithium was something that came in an over-the-counter multivitamin, I'd be glad to take it. Since I refused to take it, they forced me to come to court. I've never taken any drugs in my life except antibiotics. I feel like lithium is being forced on me."

"Thank you, Ken. That's all I have, Your Honor."

"Ms. Cuomo," the judge stated.

"You had up to nine people in your house urging you to get some help?"

"There were neighbors, friends, some people I didn't know."

"Why did they agree to take your wife out?"

"One of the women there was a recovering anorexic. She recognized that Beth was undernourished and took her under her wing. They all took Beth over to Caroline's house, my neighbor behind us, so I could stay at the house instead of at a hotel."

"Could it have been that it was because you had attacked your wife?"

"Objection!" Roger exclaimed.

"What reason?" the judge asked.

"Relevance: there is no evidence of that that was introduced prior."

"Ms. Cuomo?" queried the judge.

"I believe it's relevant to his 'persistent and acute disability' and once again that it's not out-of-character behavior for him."

I attempted to make a comment. "I just want to say that I never..."

"Stop...stop...stop! Sir, when you hear the word 'objection,' it means don't say another word. You don't get to just blab something," the judge admonished. "I'll allow this," growled the judge, looking crossly at me.

"Is it possible that it was because you had attacked your wife?"

"No."

"Nobody said anything to you about that? It was because your wife was the one who was ill, and she's the one who needed treatment?"

"Yes."

"Do you still think that?"

"Yes."

"Are your brothers siding with your wife?"

"Yes, they are siding with my wife."

"When you were looking for your wife, were you ringing various neighbors' doorbells?"

"I rang Caroline's doorbell. I wanted to wish my wife good luck with her treatment. That's the only doorbell I rang. No one answered, so I walked home."

"Have you been taking your medications at the hospital?"

"I only take Ativan. It's hard to sleep in that place. I have three roommates—some snore terribly, others come, go, and use the bathroom at all hours of the night. So I take it as needed to get enough sleep."

"Ativan is for sleep?"

"Yes. It also stops me from having seizures. I've tried Benadryl, too, but it doesn't work for me."

"Dr. Sweeney recommended that you take lithium?"

"Yes, but I'm not taking it."

"Thank you. That's all I have, Your Honor."

"Mr. Lermer, do you have anything more?" asked the judge.

"Just two questions, Your Honor. Mr. Dickson, have you ever attacked your wife?"

"No."

"Is one reason you are concerned about taking lithium the adverse effects it might have due to your recent surgery?"

"Yes."

"That's all."

"You may step down, sir."

"You rest, Mr. Lermer?" asked the judge.

"Yes, Your Honor."

"Ms. Cuomo?"

"Yes, Your Honor."

The attorneys then gave their closing arguments. Roger gave his first.

"Your Honor, I ask that you not impose a court order for treatment. Regarding Mr. Dickson's brother Dana's testimony, he was only in town for a short time and with Mr. Dickson in his home only one night. He did spend some time with him during that week but did not observe his brother every minute of that time. We heard that Mr. Dickson may have been acting a little differently. There was no testimony that my client can't take care of himself, that he's persistently and acutely disabled, or that he was doing so poorly that he had to be taken away at the time
that his brother was here. Violence and being a danger to himself or others are not questions. He testified that Mr. Dickson wasn't sleeping but admitted he didn't know his brother's sleep patterns.

"With regard to the crisis worker's testimony, she was there for a two-hour time period and was called without Mr. Dickson's knowledge. Mr. Dickson testified that he didn't know why she was there, which is understandable: the family called her without his knowledge. She testified that she explained why she was there, but my client does not have any recollection of that. I didn't hear any specific testimony supporting him being persistently and acutely disabled. I did hear general observations from the crisis worker. His moving around a lot was a snapshot in time. Many people get like that. He was outside running around with his dog. She didn't specifically observe him having behavioral problems while he was outside. I thought Mr. Dickson's testimony was very focused, and I believe that he understands why he's here. He doesn't want to take specific medications, and he has good reasons for that. He doesn't want to harm himself, or anyone else; he can take care of himself and is willing to address his issues as they come along. He just doesn't want to have medication forced upon him. For all these reasons, Your Honor, I'm asking that you not impose a court order as very convincing evidence has not been presented. Thank you."

"Ms. Cuomo?" the judge said.

"I would just argue that Mr. Dickson is continuing not to take the medication that was suggested by his doctor in the hospital. Though the defense argued that Mr. Dickson has a clear understanding of why he is here, we would argue that he doesn't have that understanding. He continues to say it's his wife that has the issue despite his testimony on the stand that there were nine people in his home concerned about his behavior and
suggesting he get help. He somehow turns that into, well, it was his wife who needed the help, not him. So we would argue that he doesn't have insight. He continues not to follow through with his medications, although he is taking Ativan and is clearly calmer than he was earlier. He is not following through and is in need of a court order. Thank you."

Finally, the judge made a ruling.

"I've had an opportunity to review the petition that was filed on June the first, 2011, with the allegation of 'persistent or acutely disabled,' and I read both of the doctors' reports in the affidavits attached to the petition. I also reviewed the medication affidavit and the treatment plan. I've taken into consideration the testimony of the two witnesses for the petitioner and the testimony of the patient. Based upon all the matters presented to the court, I find by clear and convincing evidence that the proposed patient is, as a result of a mental disorder, persistently or acutely disabled, in need of psychiatric treatment, and unwilling or unable to accept voluntary treatment. The court finds that court-ordered treatment is appropriate and that the patient is to be in an inpatient treatment program. It is therefore ordered that Kenneth Dickson shall undergo treatment for up to one hundred eighty days at Gracewood until he is found to be no longer persistently or acutely disabled. It is further ordered that Mr. Dickson, having been placed under court-ordered treatment, shall not possess, receive, and/or purchase firearms, ammunition, or other deadly weapons. Mr. Dickson has the right to apply for restoration of firearms rights after court-ordered treatment has been terminated. This matter is adjourned. Thank you."

Beth's journal, June 7, 2011:

I don't really remember what I was feeling in the courtroom. I was numb, completely drained physically and exhausted emotionally. I was incredulous that we were in a courtroom with a judge deciding Ken's fate. I had no hope at that point in my life. I could not see how we would ever recover from such a horrible situation. I was fearful of what would happen to the girls and me in the future. How would I be able to support them and send them to college? Where would we live? What was going to happen to Ken?

In the end I was relieved with the court's decision. I knew that Ken was not well enough to come home, but I was in no way happy. How could I have been happy to have a judge rule that my love was persistently and acutely disabled? I had fought so hard to protect him and felt that I had failed miserably. It was Kaitlin's birthday today. What a sad birthday for her.

Back at Gracewood that evening, I was in line with everyone else when the medication cart rolled in. When my turn came, instead of one pill, there were three in my cup. I asked what they were and was told Ativan, Risperdal (an antipsychotic), and Eskalith, a brand of lithium carbonate. There was nothing I could do but take them. If I refused, I'd be forcibly restrained and they would be given by injection. I took the small paper cup of pills and dumped them into my mouth, then took the cup of water offered to me and washed them down. Unbelievably Dr. Davis had won. I walked away numbly as I contemplated a life in Gracewood for another 180 days.

Chapter 30

UTOPIA: LETTING GO

June 13, 2011: In my heart I always believed that I was contagious, that I was the first person without negative emotions and that I would infect others and make everything and anything possible, including Utopia. If I was not contagious, none if it was possible, and Utopia would just be another failed social project like many before.

In 1984, Space Biospheres Ventures bought a convention center owned by the University of Arizona just outside of Oracle, Arizona. In 1986, the company began construction of Biosphere 2 on the property to research and develop self-sustaining, space-colonization technology. Why Biosphere 2? Because Earth is Biosphere 1, the only other currently known biosphere.

Space Biospheres Ventures' ultimate goal was to seal a team of Biospherians in the state-of-the-art structure, which housed everything they believed necessary for a fully balanced, self-sustaining ecosystem, and measure survivability of the inhabitants and ecosystem. When Biosphere 2 was completed, it was breathtaking. Within its glass walls were trees, plants, animals, bugs, fresh water, brand-new living quarters, clothing, cooking and eating utensils, beds, and too many other things to list.

The scientists and professionals involved worked long and hard on everything, including the selection of an ideally suited team of Biospherians. Through study and experimentation, they determined the makeup of an optimal team, and then chose the ideal people for that team: eight all together, both men and women. The team of Biospherians was overall one of the most technically, socially, and psychologically adept teams ever assembled.

Finally, on September 26, 1991, with the media in full force and cameras running, the team was sealed inside the beautiful, state-of-the-art structure for its first mission.

There were many catastrophes during that mission, but most importantly, before the mission was half over, the perfect team had fractured. People who had been intimate friends became ruthless enemies who could barely speak to each other.