Determinism (Cara & Abel's Story) (20 page)

Dropping my phone on the table, I reach behind me and then turn around. It’s not Abel. Standing before me is Jon, a sleazebag I met over the summer. He blew me off before we ever went on a date. He’s clearly drunk, and I take a step back, but he doesn’t give me space, stepping towards me.

“Get the fuck away from me, Jon.”

“Damn, I’ve missed your mouth,” he slurs. I can’t believe I was ever interested in someone like him. “I’m so glad you’re here. I lost your number and have been dying to talk to you,” he says.

This time, more annoyed than ever, I push him backwards and he stumbles a few feet. “I told you to get the fuck away from me.” I look towards the bar and Abel is nowhere in sight. I go to walk in that direction, away from Jon, and he grabs me by my hips.

Although he’s drunk, he’s strong as hell. Trying to fight free, I’m stuck. Then a fist comes flying across Jon’s mouth and he’s gone, replaced by Abel’s bright red face. He moves hovering over Jon and starts hitting him again and again. All I can think about is Abel’s safety and his reputation. Plus, at this point Jon is defenseless. Two guys pull Abel off of him and push him back towards me. He goes to lunge at them and I grab him around the waist. The moment I touch him he stops.

“Baby, he’s out. Come on, let’s go!”

There is a ring of panic to my voice. I’m terrified of what could happen if Abel were to get caught. Glancing at the two guys who pulled him off of Jon, I’m not sure who they are, but they both have a look in their eyes that says “Get the fuck out of here.” My stomach knots up and I know we need to leave. Not only could he get in trouble with the law, but his career could be in jeopardy.

I turn him towards me and grab his face. “Baby, we need to GO!”

As the crowd around Jon builds, he starts to move and moan. I grab my coat and purse, along with Abel’s hand and we go. On the way out, we run into Jamie. “Hey, where are you going?” she asks.

“Some asshole came onto me and things got physical with him and Abel, so we’re leaving. I’m sorry, honey.”

“Don’t be sorry! Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“You guys go. And don’t worry, I know nothing.”

The drive to his place is quiet. Neither of us talks, we just focus on the road ahead of us. Once we are safely in his building and riding the elevator up, I lean against the wall taking in a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, Cara.”

“For what? Saving me from a drunken asshole? You shouldn’t be.”

“I should’ve reacted differently. I should never lose my temper like that. But since I’ve been with you, it drives me insane the way guys stare at you. I’ve been dealing with it for months and tonight I finally snapped. Seeing his hands on you pushed me over the edge.”

Once we are in the safety of his loft, I couldn’t be happier. However, I know I need to tell him that Jon isn’t just some stranger. Even though, I don’t want to bring this up to him, I have to. Trust is one of the most important parts of our relationship. I know better than anyone else how it feels to be lied to. I won’t do that to Abel or put us in that situation, no matter how hard or awkward it makes things.

“Babe, stop beating yourself up. You absolutely should
not
have reacted differently. You should know that I met Jon over the summer. Nothing happened between us, but that’s why he approached me tonight. He was drunk and said he lost my number. Obviously he didn’t hear me when I told him to get the fuck away from me. But that’s why I have you, isn’t it? You have no idea how good it feels to be in this relationship where I know that you’re here to stand up for me and with me no matter what.”

I want to tell him that I love him, but I decide against it. I don’t want to correlate those words with a conversation around Jon. Once I finally gather up enough nerve to speak them, I want the time to be right. In the pit of my stomach I know tonight is not the night.

Snaking his hands underneath my leather jacket, he pushes it off of my shoulders. With nothing but hunger scorching in his eyes, he lifts my shirt as well. I’m standing before him in just my jeans and my shoes. He goes straight for my breasts with his mouth, while unbuttoning my jeans.

Now that he can see my sex he clutches a handful of each ass cheek squeezing hard. He then removes his pants and tears his shirt over his head. Without speaking any words, I know what he wants and I’m ready to give it to him. I’ve waited long enough. Swiftly and effortlessly, he lifts me in his arms, still never taking his eyes off of mine.

Entering the bedroom he slowly lowers me to the bed. I lift my behind and remove my jeans. After they are off, I decide to bend over to show him what I want. Kneeling before him, expressing my wants, a low growl escapes him. He takes his soft hand and caresses my backside, slowly paying attention to the place no one has ever been. Taking his thumb, Abel licks it and gently accesses me. I moan in response to pleasure he’s causing my body. I love the feeling and am eager for what this undertaking will hold.

He walks away from me and opens his nightstand drawer pulling out the bottle of lube I bought him for his birthday. Walking back over, he keeps his eyes on me and coats his cock with a thick layer, while I kneel in anticipation. Then he gently rubs his slicked fingers around my tight hole making sure I’m nice and slick too. Before he does anything else, he hovers over me and whispers into the skin of my neck, “Are you sure you want to do this, baby?”

“Yes.”

His mouth touches my shoulder and I can feel the smile on his face. Turning towards him, he begins to kiss me. His cock is hot and throbbing against my ass.

I can’t wait for this.

Moving down my body with his lips he takes his time giving uniform attention to all of the right places. Then he presses himself against me, wanting in. I panic that he won’t fit, but he thrusts his hips gaining access. Stopping immediately, he asks, “Are you okay?” I nod my head and he takes his time with each inch as I adjust to the feeling. He fits, which was my main worry all along, and it doesn’t hurt. It feels euphoric, as chills move over my body and pleasure spreads through every one of my limbs and my fingers and toes tingle.

A small whine of pleasure seeps out of me and it cues him to move. Abel begins, keeping things slow and steady. I can tell that he is on cloud nine and appreciating every bit of this.

“Jesus, baby,” he moans.

Twisting his hand down to my pussy, he gives it extra attention. Then staying good on his promise, he slips two fingers inside of me, moving them to find my G-spot. The moment his fingers find my extra sensitive spot, I’m lost, a complete mess of passion. The combination of both places is too much for me to handle and I succumb to this place of ecstasy he has taken me, thrashing my head back and forth while screaming into the bed.

I wait for him to come as well, but he doesn’t. Gradually he stops and asks me, “Will you lie all the way down?”

I comply, while his body weight follows, pressing me into the bed. My back is to his chest, and he grabs my hands. Interlinking our fingers and pulling them far above my head, his feet are locked with mine. I’m at his mercy, stretched out, lying here for him and his pleasure. His movements are slow and loving. Every thrust he makes is with purpose and meaning — the purpose his pleasure and the meaning our love. It doesn’t matter to me that we haven’t said the words. I love him and I can feel with every ounce of my soul that he loves me.

“Lex, it doesn’t matter what you wear to the event you’re going to be the hottest girl there.” She peeks her head around the dressing room curtain and glares at me while I suck down my Starbucks. I really have missed these things. When I lived with Lex, I swear I had one every day. Since she moved out, I have it maybe once a month.

“It does matter,” she says coming out in a dark red, floor-length gown.

“You know what I mean. Plus, you have that huge rock on your hand to show everyone that Vince is yours,” I say, taking another drink. “Regardless, I think you should go with the red one or the dark blue. Oh, we should pick Vincent out a matching skinny tie to wear.”

“Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?”

“What? It’s a great idea.”

“Fine, let’s take these over to the ties and then we can decide.”

While we meander throughout Saks looking for the perfect tie, I start to feel sick. Damn, maybe I shouldn’t have drunk that Starbucks so fast. I take a few deep breaths and find a seat while Alexa checks out.

“Ready to grab lunch?” she asks.

“Sure.” Although I feel like I could barf, I’m not about to ruin our day because I went all crazy on the Starbucks.

We decide on California Pizza Kitchen; it’s not busy and they have a really good selection of pizza. Scanning over the menu, I decide to order what Abel likes knowing I won’t be able to stomach much. I plan to drop the rest of the pizza off at the station.

“So how are things with Abel?”

I think before answering and can’t help but smile. “Really good. As strange as it sounds, I love everything about him.”

Alexa chokes on her soda and stares at me. “You did not just say you love him.”

“I said I love everything about him. So, yeah, pretty much, I guess I did say that.”

“Have you told him?”

“Hell no. I’m too much of a chicken. Trust me I’ve tried, but I haven’t found the right time. Eventually it’s got to happen, right?”

“Oh, it will.”

“How’s Vincent?” I ask.

“Amazing. He makes me feel like a princess every day.”

I check my phone as it buzzes with a text from my sister. “Who’s that?” Alexa asks.

“Amber.”

“How is she?”

“She’s crazy, young, and irresponsible. More so now that she hasn’t found a job since getting laid off. I don’t know what her deal is.”

“That sounds like someone I used to know.”

“Whatever, you snot. You were just as bad. Do you remember in college when we first met and missed the next week of school because we both drank so much initiating each other into our ‘new friendship?’”

She laughs out loud, “Jesus, do I remember.”

“God, those were the days. No responsibilities or worries.”

“They were fun, but would you really change the way things are now to go back?”

Thinking about it, the only thing I would change is having my dad here. I wish more than anything that he never had the desire to fly. “Besides my dad, I wouldn’t change a thing.”

“I agree. Hey, have you heard from Bridgette?” she asks, taking a bite of her pizza.

“No. Have you?”

“Me neither. I’ve been meaning to call her. I’ll tell her to text you once I get a hold of her. I’m sure she’s just busy wrapping up school.”

I take a bite myself and the pizza absolutely nauseates me. I guess it wasn’t the Starbucks; I must be getting sick. The waiter walks by and I ask him for a box.

“What’s wrong with your food?” Alexa asks.

“I don’t think it’s the food. I must be getting sick.”

“You better keep your germs away from me. I can’t miss this event, or Vincent will kill me.”

“He won’t kill you. Maybe he’ll tie you up and spank you, but I’m pretty sure that’s the extent of his punishment.”

“You know what I mean.”

I text Abel while Alexa finishes her food.
I think I’m getting sick. I was going to drop off my leftovers to you, but I’m going to head home and rest.

That sucks, baby. I’ll try and leave early to take care of you.

I can’t help but smile at his message.
Take your time, honey. I’ll be in bed when you get there.

I’ll hurry. Let me know if you need anything.

“Who’s that?” Alexa asks.

“Abel. I told him I wasn’t feeling well and that I was going to head home and rest.”

Alexa hands her credit card to the waiter as he walks by. “Alright, sickie, let’s get you home.”

“You don’t need to pay for lunch.”

“I didn’t; Vince did. It’s already done,” she says taking back the card and receipt.

As we walk to our cars, she asks me, “Do you want me to follow you home?”

“No. I’m just going to crawl into bed.”

She gives me a smile and a half hug keeping her distance. She’s such a germaphobe.

“Good luck at your event,” I say.

“Thanks, hope you feel better.”

It’s cloudy today and I walk fast to my car. It looks like we might get rain. I get in and turn the heat on because I’m feeling cold. “God, I hope that this passes fast.”

While I drive home, a text chimes in from Abel.
How are you feeling?

I wait to respond until I get there.
Not too good. I just got home. I’m going to get in bed and try to fall asleep.

Okay, baby, sleep well. See you soon.